Are they an ELF or a rattlesnake? An ELF is an evil little freak (or other word starting with F) who simply enjoys being mean for fun. A rattlesnake is designed by nature to bite you when it feels threatened. That's just what they are.
When you make them wrong and get sucked into the trauma and drama of what they do, they are controlling your life. As long as you see them for what they are, in total allowance, you are totally empowered. Total allowance means you appreciate them as an ELF or rattlesnake. That's just who they are. Then you will be free to enjoy their great parts.
So when people like this show up in your life, ask (silently) “Truth, is this an ELF or a rattlesnake?”. This will remind you that no matter what they say or do, it has nothing to do with you, and you don't need to buy it as real.