Are these points of view limiting you, preventing you from creating the life you'd really like? Would you like to change?
People stay in the role of the mournful victim all the time because it has some value for them. For example, it gives them the attention they desire, it's comfortable, they've decided it's the only way of getting out of something they'd rather not do, in the hope that it will force someone else to behave differently, and many more reasons they've decided are valuable to them.
On the other hand, some people simply don't realize they have the choice to change. Was that you? Now you know you can choose, would you like to? If so ask “What's the value of hanging on to this?” If it has no value, you would hang on to it for what reason?