One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect.
The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, the right person for the job, the right product, the right strategy. The One. Why? It stops you looking for anything greater and blinds you to other possibilities. So even if you think your work, business, relationship, strategy or life is working very nicely right now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?” This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in the business of change. Questioning the people and strategies you think are the answer, can make you an industry leader and innovator. And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before with the same people, it will be because that is still the most generative option. Not because you were stuck in a rut or blinded.
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Do you know people who sometimes say or do not-nice things. Maybe you have some in your social media comments feed right now?
Does this upset you and leave you scratching your head, wondering why they would do or say that? Does it distract you from what you'd rather be doing? Are they an ELF or a rattlesnake? An ELF is an evil little freak (or other word starting with F) who simply enjoys being mean for fun. While nature has designed rattlesnakes to bite you whenever they feel threatened. That's just what they are. When you make them wrong and get sucked into the trauma and drama of what they do, they are controlling your life. As long as you see them for what they are, in total allowance, you are empowered. Total allowance means you appreciate them as an ELF or rattlesnake. That's just who they are. Then if you like, you are free to enjoy their great parts. So when people like this show up in your life, ask yourself “Truth, is this an ELF or a rattlesnake?” This will remind you that no matter what they say or do, it has nothing to do with you, and you don't need to buy it as real. And remember, you when you recognise them, you can also choose to smile and walk away/hang up/delete/remove them from your life. Are the things you'd like not showing up in your life?
Perhaps you're (select any and all that apply): smart, educated, articulate, hard working, diligent, polite, kind, good looking, well connected, in the zone, lucky, [enter your own special talents here _________________________], and generally have everything going for you, and yet the things you'd like are just not showing up. What is that? Do you have any of these points of view?
Having any of these, or similar points of view will cut off your ability to receive. In other words, even when things try to show up in your life, you won't see or allow them in. So if you'd like to allow the things you'd like into your life, ask yourself “What am I unwilling to receive?” When you're clear on your points of view about receiving, ask "What's it going to take for X to show up?" again. Then notice what shows up - no matter in what form and including somebody else's point of view - and ask "What action could I take?" Do you use drugs of any kind? Hard drugs, pharmaceutical drugs, tobacco, or alcohol in excessive amounts? Do you have any other compulsive behaviour, for example with food, exercise, feeling bad about yourself, or helping / bullying people , that you think you can't change? Maybe you're a control freak who works 24/7 to prove you're right?
What does this behaviour add to your life? Do you use it to dull or heighten your awareness about something? Does it free you from pain, physical, emotional or intellectual? Does it create a space where you feel more you? How real is that awareness, freedom and space? Completely, or not at all? What if you could create real, total awareness, freedom and space which does not rely on anything but you? If you'd like to find out, ask “What does this [your addictive or compulsive behaviour] add to my life, and what information do I require that would empower me to create that in other ways?” Visit http://www.marilynbradford.com/right-recovery-for-you.html for more information. Are you addicted to organising everything around you, designing the perfect system, keeping the perfect house, sticking to the ultimate schedule, or something else?
Do you get irritated - even downright cranky - when the ducks don't line up and the kittens don't herd? Does your blood pressure rise when something flies in from out of the blue and destroys your carefully constructed order? If so, and you'd prefer to avoid bursting a blood vessel, ask yourself "What if I created my life from chaos?" Consider nature, where the most highly functional and efficient systems exist in apparent chaos. Like flowers and bees. In nature, do flowers grow in neatly ordered rows? No. Myriads of flowers flourish randomly wherever they can. And yet bees easily find the kind that suits them (bees are not all the same you know), pollinate them, and contribute elegantly and powerfully to the cycle of life. This is not to suggest you create random, artificial chaos. Simply that even if things appear messy, you need not be the effect of them if you can see where to collect the pollen. Are you willing to be aware of the flowers regardless of any apparent chaos that comes your way? Do you ever think yourself into a knotty ball of confusion? Listing pros and cons, researching 'true' and 'false,' collecting background info to analyse to death from all angles, trying to figure out what to do? To get it RIGHT. Whether it's which subject to study, job to choose, car to buy, relationship to pursue, or what choice to make about you and your family's health?
Do you enjoy this process? Is it as fast and easy as you'd like? How does it usually work out? If you don't enjoy it and would prefer a faster, easier – and dare I say it more reliable for you – approach, next time you find yourself embarking on a thought journey into the abyss ask “If I didn't think about this, what would I know?” You know those moments when you just know something? It feels right and light to you, even though others think you're crazy? Only you can really know what is right for you. Are you willing to trust you more? Life might become a whole lot easier. Are you smart? Are you aware of everything going on around you in all time, space and dimensions, seeing connections, pasts and futures that no one else can see?
And yet do you find that other people always seem to be talking down to you, explaining and pontificating on things to you, as if you had no idea? How do you react? Do you nod, smile and think "interesting"? Or do you get annoyed, worked up, and drawn into a meaningless circular argument? Do people ever concede you known what you're talking about? If not and you'd like greater ease in these situations ask "What if I didn't need to prove I was smart"? Does trying to prove you're smart mean that you've actually decided you're not? Is that true? Or did you buy that point of view from someone, sometime? When you try to prove you’re smart, you have to have all the answers. What if your smarts - your awareness - was the thing that could point out where the answers end and the questions begin? What else could be possible then? Do you ever feel heat in your chest or pressure on your temples when someone says or does something you don't like? Do you find you can't think clearly, that you get angry or distracted from what you'd really like to do?
If you'd like to be free from the control and distraction of such uncomfortable physical sensations, recognise them as a sign you are in judgement. Then you can shift gear into allowance. What is allowance? Allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view and you have total freedom of choice. Judgement limits you to what you have decided (or someone has told you) is right/wrong, good/bad. It's like being on an automatic pushbutton system of resist/react or agree/align, where you have no freedom of choice. So next time you have a physical reaction to someone, ask “Am I in allowance or judgement?” If you find you're in judgement, say “Interesting point of view I have that point of view” and expand outwards and remind yourself “What if I had infinite, free choice?” Depending on what's going on, you might need to repeat this several godzillian times until the heat dissipates. What if being free from judgement allowed you to create the change you'd really like to see? Do you like your body? Do you enjoy it and do fun things with it, like skip, run, jump, dance and play? Do you ever thank it for carrying your brain safely to work every day?
Or do you wake up in the morning judging it? It's too fat, too thin, too wrinkly, too ugly, too slow, too old, too....? Do you tell it it's not what it should be and force it to do things to make it what you think it should be? Do you try every new exercise and diet? Do you take pills and have surgery? Or do you ignore your body completely and find any excuse to move as little as possible? Is any of this working for you? Is your body having a good time? Here's a hint. Pain and discomfort is your body telling you it's not happy. What if instead, you asked your body what it enjoys and follow its lead? Remember when you were five, when you had a vibrant, fit, healthy, body overflowing with energy? Did you think about it, or did you just follow your body? If you'd like that energy again, ask “Body, what would be fun for you?” then, as they say, just do it. Even if you're in a restricted or confined place, there's plenty you can be doing. Helloooo internet! There are 1000s of amazingly creative people adapting their skills freely to help you keep your body moving with joy, even in the tiniest of spaces. What could you do that would be a gift to your body? Are you stuck somewhere you'd not normally be stuck? Has your usual routine been up-ended and you can't move about freely? Does this upset you and make you feel claustrophobic or limited?
If so, then ask yourself “What is the gift of this?” What if this unscheduled disruption was a chance to look at your life and ask what's working, and what's not working for you? How often do you get to do this? Often? Sometimes? Or are you always so busy running on the hamster wheel of life, never giving yourself a moment to pause, or even the freedom to think about pausing? So if now a pause button has been pressed on your world, rather than focusing on limitations, what if you consider your choices? What have you've always wanted to do, but never had the time for? Open an internet window on the world to see what you could read or learn. Open your hall closet to see what you could clean out. Open your awareness to see what you'd really like to create as your future. Then ask “What action can I take?” *** Much gratitude to Dr Dain Heer for this one. What do you do when you get stuck on something? When creating your life is not the ease and joy you know it can be?
Do you - ask a question - notice the possibilities - make a choice - have an awareness - repeat? If not, next time you get stuck, ask yourself "What step is this?" When you're stuck, you might simply have forgotten to take a step. It doesn't matter which it is. Every journey begins with just one. Questions create possibilities. Choice creates awareness. Repeat. And don't forget you can always side-step obstacles that are in the way. How? Ask "What if I had total freedom?" and then start by using any one of the questions listed there. What day do you live in? Today, tomorrow or yesterday?
When you live in the past, you create your life based on what did/didn't work then. When you live in the future, you create your life based on hopes, dreams, expectations, delusions, and other unrealities. When you live in the present, you create your life based on your awareness of that moment, free from the limitations of the past and the unrealities of the future. Need help being in the present? Ask yourself "If I were living my life today, what would I choose?" Then make a choice, see what shows up, and make another choice, in constant creation and awareness of your life. And you can make more than one choice a day. In fact, you can make a choice every 10 seconds if you like. |
First visit?If you're brand new, then you might also like to start from Q1 here and work your through to now? Or search for the topic of your choice above. What would you like to ask about? A relationship? Money? Work? Body? Health? Or life in general? Enter your keyword below and see what shows up!
Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right. This is a 100% free service and our gift to you. If you would like to contribute to our work, we are most grateful. Also share the love on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, MeWe. Archives
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