Is someone giving you hell? No matter what you do or say, you're always wrong? Perhaps you really did do something less than bright, and they're coming down on you hard?
How do you respond? Do you try to justify your actions and prove that you're not wrong and are doing your best? Does that work? Even if you really did nothing wrong, do people believe you and make your life easy? If you'd like to vacuum up all the bad feelings and start again, do this: first acknowledge the other person's point of view. Say "You're right. I'm wrong" three times, naturally in various ways. Then ask "What can I do to make up for the damage I've done?" Check your energy matches thewords. Sarcastic or angry energy won't work. The magic is in the energy of allowance and vulnerability. When you are willing to give up your points of view about being right, then you are free to create new possibilities. At the very least, this will difficult people them off your back, so you can get on with the fun of living.
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What are your points of view about study, including about going to school, college, or university and about learning anything in general?
Any of these? That it's hard, will take a long time and lots of money? That you're not smart or diligent enough? That you shouldn't rest, sleep, or enjoy yourself because you should be studying? How many vested interests are making study hard for you? Do teachers want you to outshine them? Do after school tutoring businesses want you to hire them? And other students? Do they want you to see your talent? Are you willing to consider a different possibility? If so, ask “What if study were easy and fun?” What if you approached study with the energy of insatiable curiosity about things that inspire you? What if you were excited about learning new ways to expand your natural talents? Would study be easier, and more fun and rewarding then? How often do you limit your choices, before you even consider them, by deciding you don't have the time or the money?
Time and money are two reasons (excuses) people will always give for not doing something. What if you took them out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? To find out, ask “If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?” Once you are clear on your true desire, you can ask other questions to make it happen, for example
Make sure you ask for more than you think you want, or can even imagine, without incurring hardship, by adding “...with ease, or something greater?” How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result?
What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them? Or are they simply distractions that keep you from creating what you'd truly like? If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business, life and change you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?” This will clear such distractions so you see what you'd really like to choose. Then ask "What action can I take?" Are you willing to have that much freedom? One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect.
The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, the right person for the job, the right product, the right strategy. The One. Why? It stops you looking for anything greater and blinds you to other possibilities. So even if you think your work, business, relationship, strategy or life is working very nicely right now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?” This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in the business of change. Questioning the people and strategies you think are the answer, can make you an industry leader and innovator. And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before with the same people, it will be because that is still the most generative option. Not because you were stuck in a rut or blinded. To change something, first get clear on exactly what you 'd like to change by asking “What is this?”
Next ask “Would I like to change it?” To change something, you must truly desire it and be willing to do whatever it takes. Then you can ask “If so, how?” Can you ever change someone else? No. The only thing you can change is you and your points of view. For example, do you get upset and fight back when friends, family or perfect strangers reprimand, bully or gaslight you about something you say or do? How well does that work out? So what else is possible? Great question. When you ask a question, possibilities will show up. For example, in this case you could - walk away and stop talking to them; they can't reprimand, bully or gaslight you if you're not around - put your own points of view away, push all your barriers down, smile and ask them genuine questions about their points of view; you never know, if you ask the right questions with genuine interest they might learn something new...and so might you, or - notice your buttons being pushed and smile; consider your friends, family and even perfect strangers are cute for trying to save you from your idiotic ideas/actions, saying “Thanks so much. Tell me more", then shut up, listen, nod and listen some more till they run out of steam. Remember, just because you listen to their stories, doesn't mean you have to buy them. What have you decided you must keep being/ doing/ having, no matter what? You made a decision, so you'll stick to it even if it kills you. After all, that's the right way to live, isn't it?
Maybe. Or would you prefer another option to killing yourself to prove you're right? What if instead, you created your life by consciously choosing things that contributed to your life in ways you enjoy? How? Ask “If I had 10 seconds to live the rest of my life, what would I choose?” This is not about making random changes for change's sake. The question is designed to remind you what science says: this is a free-will universe and you have choice. You may end up choosing the same thing continuously every 10 seconds, as long as it works. And if one day it doesn't, you'll know and you can choose something else that does. How often do you limit your choices – before you even consider them – by concluding that other people won't approve?
Do you ever say something like “My husband/wife/partner wouldn't agree”, “My parents wouldn't like it” or even “No one else does that, so what would everyone think of me?” Is worrying about what other people think one of the main reasons you give for not doing something? What if you took other people out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? If you'd like to find out, ask yourself “If other people's points of view weren't real – if everything were just an interesting point of view – what would I choose?” How many of the world's great science, social, cultural, business and other innovations and discoveries have come from people doing what they loved, and knowing what was right for them, no matter what other people thought was real, true, or possible? What could be possible for you if you listened more to you? Feeling claustrophobic, limited, pent up, or simply bored? Give this a go.
Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Find the outer edges of your body. Got them? Then ask yourself, are you only your body, or something else? Think of it in terms of a phone/mp3 player/CD/record with music on it, versus a brand new device/disc with no software or sound on it. If you sense you are more than just your body (the device/disc), then find the outer edges of you, the being (the music). Got them? Wherever you found them, push them out in all directions until they are out past the outer edges of the universe, or further. Now open your eyes. Do you feel the same or different? Do you have the sense of more space or less? Did you feel any edges or not? There are no right answers to these questions. Only your awareness. This exercise is designed to heighten your awareness of you and space and to remind you that you are a being in a free-will universe, with infinite, free choice. When your life is not how you'd like it to be, or if you sense your freedom of movement, thought, choice or more is being limited or controlled by others, remind yourself you can choose to create it differently. Something not working the way you'd like at the moment? Has your world turned 180 degrees upside down and inside out? How many concrete walls are you banging your head against?
What if rather than focusing on what's not working, get clear on what change is possible. Sometimes, things won't change no matter what you do. So if you'd like clarity about what will change and what won't, ask “What's possible? Can I change this? If so, how?” These questions will help you see ways you might step around, walk away, dig under, or fly over the concrete wall, rather than bang your head against it. The wall is not wrong and has no evil intent to hurt you. It is simply a wall that is happy to stay that way. So get clear on the concrete walls in your life and find another way around or away. Your head will thank you for it. How do you create your life? On the fly? Methodically creating five year plans? Or somewhere in between?
How many questions do you ask along the way? If you'd like to ask more questions, start with this goodie. "What can my life be in the next 12 months that I could never have imagined?" Then write down a list of all the things you desire and all the things you've been asking for. And then ask how many of these things are an action, and how many are a reaction? What is a reaction? For example, if your family had no money, or lost all its money, and 'making a lot of money' is on your list. That is a reaction. Then ask yourself, rather than being in reaction (to 'no money'), what action could you be? An action such as having fun and being at ease with money. The more you ask questions and take action, the more you'll set yourself up to create a future greater than you can possibly imagine. What do you do when you get stuck on something? When creating your life is not the ease and joy you know it can be?
Do you - ask a question - notice the possibilities - make a choice - have an awareness - repeat? If not, next time you get stuck, ask yourself "What step is this?" When you're stuck, you might simply have forgotten to take a step. It doesn't matter which it is. Every journey begins with just one. Questions create possibilities. Choice creates awareness. Repeat. And don't forget you can always side-step obstacles that are in the way. How? Ask "What if I had total freedom?" and then start by using any one of the questions listed there. |
First visit?If you're brand new, then you might also like to start from Q1 here and work your through to now? Or search for the topic of your choice above. What would you like to ask about? A relationship? Money? Work? Body? Health? Or life in general? Enter your keyword below and see what shows up!
Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right. This is a 100% free service and our gift to you. If you would like to contribute to our work, we are most grateful. Also share the love on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, MeWe. Archives
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