How often have you shared your excitement with someone about something you've recently discovered, only to have them pour cold water over you saying things like “Really? You do know that's crazy...?” or “You did what? Don't you know it's not going to work because of A, B C...Z?”, and even “OMG how stupid could you be???!!!”
How was that? Not much fun? What happened to your excitement and joy? Did you start doubting yourself, thinking that you really must be stupid? And definitely wrong? Just because someone else doesn't get it, doesn't mean you don't. What if you knew a whole lot more than most people? At least you know what's right and light for you. How would anyone else know that? So when you are enjoying yourself or have a great new idea, remind yourself you know that you know. And say “Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone.” And if you do share your joy with someone and they don't get it, smile and thank them for their “interesting point of view.” Then return to your fun and excitement. What if that could change the world?
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Do you feel your life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? Or perhaps it bores you?
Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? How often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy, to do something for someone else? Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when “things need to be done,” start by asking “What else could I add to my life?” For example, what if you added a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or asked your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss to do more (or something!)? Perhaps you've started a new project, or have a new target you'd like to reach (or surpass!?). What information/joy/playfulness/support/else could you add to your life to help generate this with ease, or something greater? What if simply sprinkling a smile here and there throughout your day created more than you could possibly imagine? Are you stuck? Has something or someone gone funky (just saying...)? Or perhaps you'd just like to generate more great stuff in your life?
Whenever and whatever you'd like to create change, start by asking a question. Any question. Why? A question will invite you to see something you might not have been able (or willing) to see before and empower you. An answer, decision, conclusion, or judgement will serve only to limit your field of vision and disempower you. That's the aim of this service. So you'll have a bunch of the simplest, most effective questions within easy reach. So today's question is for when you have a brain freeze and can't think of a question. Ask “What question could I be asking here?” It's so simple it might even make you smile, which is always good too. Something going on in your life that is just not sitting right with you? First get clear on exactly what you are stuck on by asking “What is this?”
Once you are clear on the issue, then you can get clear on whether you really would like to change it or not. How often have you been unable to change something because somewhere, deep down (or even just under the surface), you really didn't desire change? If you prefer not to change, that's OK. When you get clear on that, you'll be free from the stress of trying to change something continuously to no effect. Perhaps you thought you needed to change it because someone told you you had to? On the other hand, if you would like to change something, you can, as long as you're willing to do whatever it takes. Are you willing? To find out ask “Would I like to change it?” Whenever you find you can't create the change you'd like, it's because you are unwilling to do or be something. How many things do you have in your life that don't work for you, that you think you have to be/do/have because someone else said so?
You have to study for that exam, go to that school, study that subject, enter that company, learn that language, marry that person, have that many children, attend that event, put that in your body, follow that government directive and so on. How well do you do them? Just because someone else says you need to be/do/have something is a good idea, will it always work out well for you? Who is the one person who does know what will work for you, what is true for you? You. You know if something is working for you. It feels light as a feather. Unlike all the heavy stuff you know doesn't work for you, but you do because you were told to. So if you're not as happy as you'd like to be, start listening and trusting you more by asking "Does this work for me?" Notice whether you feel heavy or light, and if you'd like to change the heaviness, ask "What else is possible?" How often do you limit your choices – before you even consider them – by concluding that other people won't approve? “My husband/wife/partner wouldn't agree”, “My parents wouldn't like it” or even “No one else does that, so what would everyone think of me?”
Worrying about what other people think is one of the main reasons you will give for not doing something. What if you took other people out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? Ask “If other people's points of view weren't real – if everything were just an interesting point of view – what would I choose?” How many of the world's science, social, cultural and business innovation, and even new lands (you know, the world is no longer flat), came from people doing what they loved and knowing what was right for THEM, no matter what other people thought was real, true, or possible. What could be possible for you if you listened more to you? Do you ever think yourself into a knotty ball of confusion? Listing pros and cons, researching "truth" and "fake," collecting background info to analyse to death from all angles, trying to figure out what to do? To get it Right. Whether it's which subject to study, job to choose, car to buy, relationship to pursue, or what choice to make about you and your family's health?
Do you enjoy this process? Is it as fast and easy as you'd like? And how does it usually work out? If you don't enjoy it and would prefer a faster, easier – and dare I say it more reliable for you – approach, next time you find yourself embarking on a thought journey into the abyss ask “If I didn't think about this, what would I know?” You know those moments when you just know something? It feels right and light to you (even though others think you're crazy)? Only you can really know what is right for you. Are you willing to trust you more? Life might become a whole lot easier. Are you stuck in a non-productive cycle of right-wrong-right-wrong-true-fake-true-fake with someone?
Can you see the precise disconnect between you and the other person, and how the situation could improve so simply and easily if you both considered the other's interesting point of view? Truth, can you ever change anyone else? No. The only thing you can change is YOU. YOU are the only one that can cut your mobius strip of conflict. Are you willing to stop hanging on to your point of view that you can change someone? Sometimes change is possible only when you let things go. So if you'd like to extract yourself from a cycle of struggle, ask “What could I be doing differently that would contribute to the change I desire?” Is something going on in your life that has you stuck and unable to take action? For you to be unable to change something, you have to have decided or concluded something about it.
Ask yourself, what have you decided in your life right now that is perfect, or the answer? A relationship? A job? A business? A government solution to a world-wide crisis? When you can see your decisions – and are willing to let them go – all change becomes possible. So when you're stuck and unable to make the changes you'd really like, ask “What decisions, conclusions, and answers have I made about this?” This does not mean you have to end the relationship, give up on the job/business quest, or become an anti-government rebel. Once you are aware of limitations you have created through decisions and conclusions, you can choose to transform them into something else. Perhaps into even something better than you could have ever imagined. How? Just ask another question, such as "What information do I need?" Are you confused about something? Is something you're being told not sitting quite right with you? Or perhaps you'd like to create something but keep running into brick walls?
What if you were simply missing some information? So rather than spiralling into a confusion dilemma ask yourself: What information do I need?" or "Who do I need to speak to?" and pay attention to what comes to mind. Remember, when information comes your way you can also as "Does this feel light?" What if by adding missing information, you replaced confusion with clarity, and could take the action you'd like? Whatever you've got going on – great or not so great – it can always get better. You just have to ask.
What bad things are going on with you right now? Perhaps you ran out of toilet paper, lost your job, closed your business and went bankrupt, are locked down in your tiny apartment indefinitely, got dumped by the love of your life (just as you were going into lockdown), caught a virus, or [list your own not-so-good stuff here _________________]? What about the good things? There's got to be something. Are you enjoying spending more time with your kids? Catching up on all the projects you've never given yourself time to do? Spending less time/money travelling to work? Noticing less pollution around you? Managing to buy toilet paper and essential supplies? What else? [List your own good stuff here ______________]. Now ask “How does it get any better than this?” This is your invitation for something even better to show up. Of course you'd like the bad things to improve. The good stuff? Just because something is great now, doesn't mean it can't be even greater. Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or powerless against everything going on? Frozen in fear, stuck in panic, or just don't know what to do?
Then ask “What action can I take?” Action is you creating your life, rather than suffering it as a reaction to everything around you. Practice this. No matter what you see or hear, notice what you do and ask yourself “Am I doing this from action, or reaction? Hoarding toilet paper – action or reaction? Reorganising to work or study from home – action or reaction? Posting on social media – action or reaction? There are no correct answers here, only your awareness of what YOU are doing. Then ask “If I'm doing reaction, what action could I take?” Any action will do, no matter how small, as it will shift you out of reaction and into creation. Acknowledge the trauma and drama around you, and be aware of your choices. Will you react “aaaarghh the world is ending!” Or will you take action to create your life, rather than suffering it in reaction? It's just a choice. *** I am delighted to be back after so long attending to BUSYness. Thank you so much for joining me again to create fun questions to keep us all awake at the wheel of life. This first question after seven years is my own first, small action (much gratitude to Dr Dain Heer for this one). What will yours be? *** |
First visit?If you're brand new, then you might also like to start from Q1 here and work your through to now? Or search for the topic of your choice above. What would you like to ask about? A relationship? Money? Work? Body? Health? Or life in general? Enter your keyword below and see what shows up!
Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right. This is a 100% free service and our gift to you. If you would like to contribute to our work, we are most grateful. Also share the love on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, MeWe. Archives
October 2021
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