Are you feeling overwhelmed by things in life that you seem unable to change? If so, ask "What tools can I use to change this?" Start with these basic five.
Remind yourself that
- you're an infinite being with infinite free choice
- everything is just an interesting point of view
- what feels light is right for you
- a choice will always create awareness; so choose, notice what shows up, choose again, repeat
- nothing has to be fixed and you can choose something new every ten seconds, and
- a question will always create more possibilities
Have you lived most of your life feeling 'wrong'?
No matter what you do, think, or say, do you judge and censure yourself constantly, trying to figure out whether it's right or wrong?
Are you stuck in a loop of defending against and fighting for things, constructing barriers with others to prove something is right or wrong? Do you tie yourself up in knots making yourself wrong for everything?
If you'd like to step out of this loop, start here. First remind yourself that right and wrong are "interesting points of view" and ask yourself "who do these points of view come from?" about any views you seem stuck on.
When others come to you seeking a fight, say "Yes, you are right..." and when you notice your barriers coming up, ask yourself "What if being wrong was right?"
What change could you create by acknowledging the diversity of points of view? What if there were freedom in being wrong?
Do you have any stiffness in your body? In your neck, shoulders, spine, knees, wrists, or hands? Anywhere else?
Have you put it down to the natural ageing process, repetitive strain injury, sitting or standing too long in one position, or lack of certain vitamins or minerals?
Do you expect that as you grow older your body will stiffen and eventually seize up? If these are your points of view, then you are not wrong.
What if there were a different possibility? What about those spritely seniors who roller blade like teenagers, ride horses like cowboys, or dance like Latin lovers?
What makes them so different? Could it simply be their points of view? If you'd like to find out, ask "What fixed points of view am I unwilling to let go?"
How many layers of fixed points of view have you locked into your body and made so real that your body has lost its flexibility? What physical changes could you create with your body, simply by being willing to be "interesting point of view"?
How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family, in-laws, or co-workers who are on a different wavelength to you? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're 'not good enough'? Do some of them think it's 'fun' to laugh at your views on life? Or perhaps they're just plain mean ELFs who know you're an easy mark?
If you dread family, workplace or other gatherings with people who are not in your zone, try these games and create a difference.
Enjoy the Silly Season.
Are you surrounded by people telling you what is true, what is fake, and what you should stake your life on?
Do you have family, friends, experts and random strangers standing on 360 degrees of any particular issue, presenting you with a dizzying array of information and persuasive propositions? Does any of that help? Or do you feel more confused and hemmed into a reality that doesn't feel quite right?
If you'd like to create space and ease when you're being bombarded by so many points of view, ask yourself about each one as it is presented to you "Is this light for me?" You know the breezy sense of space and weightlessness you have when everything is just right, and not the heavy, clunky feeling when something is not quite right and you sense a lie.
In other words, if you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not right for you.
What if none of these people were wrong? What if each of their points of view were 100% correct...for them? Just because something is right for someone else, doesn't mean it's right for you.
What do you have to do today, that you'd really rather not?
Clean the house? Do the shopping? Visit an unpleasant relative? Wash the car? Attend the weekly staff meeting? Write an essay? Sit an exam? Speak in public? Go to the dentist? Give your family news that you know they'll hate?
What makes you go '"Ugh, I'd rather not'" but you know you're going to do it anyway?
If you'd like to create more ease for yourself, ask "How can I enjoy the heck out of it?" Your point of view creates your reality, so if your point of view is "I don't enjoy this" then your are correct. You don't and you won't. There is no possibility it could turn out to be fun after all.
If your point of view is "What would it take for this to turn out to be more fun than I could ever imagine?" you create an invitation for that to occur.
To start, carry with you one thing that makes you laugh. A joke. A game. A book. An app. A photo. A wiggle in your walk. What else? Whatever that is, put it in your metaphorical back pocket and pull it out to entertain yourself when things are getting tough.
After a while you might fing you won't need it. Happiness is just a choice. What do you choose?
Do you run a business? How are your sales going? Is your client list growing? Or do you find it a constant struggle?
What are your points of view about your products or services? Do you consider them to be a gift to the world and people's lives would be improved if they only recognised their value? Or that they are cheap rubbish that people would be better off not wasting their money on?
How do you share your points of view? Do you find it easy to talk about your business? If you'd like to create greater ease in your business, and more reward for you and others, ask "What would it take for me to be a salesperson of magnitude?" then tell people what they want to hear.
What do they want to hear? Whatever will allow them to justify why they should give you money for what they have already decided they'd like to buy.
People who ask you about your business are already interested in what you offer, and are seeking a reason to buy. What if you made it easy for them?
Think of one thing you'd really like to be, do, have in life today. Got it?
Now think of all those reason and justifications why you don't be, do, have it today. Got them?
What were they? You can't take the day off work? You don't have the money? You don't have anyone to help you? You've got too much else to do? You're not ready? You're not good enough? You'd be letting other people down? What would people think?
Are these really what stand in your way? Or is it your point of view about these things? What would happen if you changed your point of view?
If you'd like to create more possibility in your life, and less of the "I can't because..." ask yourself "Who or what is limiting me today?" and "What else would be possible if I changed my point of view?"
Who is the one who limits you really?
How much of the Silly Season do you spend listening to people tell you directly, or indirectly how much rubbish you are?
Is that fun? Is it true? If not and you'd like something different, play this game. Whenever you sense someone is looking to criticise, hurt, insult, or provoke you, smile, nod gently and — without heat — reply "Hmm, really interesting point of view."
You are acknowledging their viewpoint and allowing them to enjoy it. You're not agreeing they're right, and you're not being distracted by falling into an angry, emotional reaction (which is usually what they really want so they can control you).
If you need to pull the heat out of an interest onslaught, tell them "You're right. I'm wrong" three times.
Our addiction to right and wrong, good and bad is one of the strongest we have. These two magic phrases will invite the energy of allowance into any Silly Season.
Just think, if everyone were in allowance, would family feuds, neighbouring conflicts, or even global wars, topple over like dominos?
What is your point of view about money, for example? That there isn't enough to go around? That it doesn't grow on trees? That you have to work long and hard to get enough? And what about the government and media? That they're run by professional experts and so how dare average people question them? That they're run by a corrupted few and there's nothing you can do to change it?
Whatever your point of view are, is that more or less what shows up for you? So your points of view are not wrong. Your points of view are creating your reality.
If something is working for you, then there is no need to change your point of view. What about when something is NOT working for you? For example, if you'd prefer to have more money in your life, or if you'd prefer government and media organisations that consider your concerns? In this case, ask "What if I changed my point of view?"
Then everytime you start to say something about money, the government or media, STOP and say "Interesting I have that point of view. I wonder what else is possible, greater than I can imagine?"
What else would you like to change? The people in your life, your health, your daily activities like work, or global issues affecting your life? What else could you change your point of view about that could create a whole new reality you can't yet imagine.
Do you find yourself doing things you'd rather not? Sometimes even doing things you know are not good for you?
Do you do them because you've been told that not to do them would be shameful, that you'd be guilty of causing harm to others, or that you'd regret not doing them?
Are shame, guilt, and regret real and true? Or are they simply interesting points of view based on someone's view of right and wrong? Words designed to control you and coerce you into doing what other people want, while distracting you from creating the life you'd really like?
Other people will always try to get you to do stuff their way, using words to trick you into believing it's good for you.
If you'd like to be free from the control of distractors like this, ask "Is the thought of shame, guilt or regret distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?" Then see how light you feel.
You may end up choosing to do exactly the same thing, but not because someone tricked you into it. It will be your free and conscious choice.
Are you a parent, or thinking about growing some kids?
Do you feel like a beach ball on the ocean being battered by waves in the middle of a storm of advice? People telling you what you must/must not do to be a 'successful' parent? And if you don't, UH OH, your poor kids...
Does this help you smile and enjoy being a parent, or potential parent? Or not so much?
What if parenting wasn't what you thought it was? What if it could be whatever you chose it to be? What would that be?
Try this on for size. Ask yourself "What if my job as a parent was to be joyful?" What would create more joy for you as a parent? Acknowledging everyone else's points of view as interesting, then asking "Does this work for me?" and creating your life based on your own awareness?
What if the greatest gift you could offer your children was to show them the joy of life and living is whatever they choose it to be.
What do people around you talk about? Do they gossip and talk endlessly about the next instalment of the trauma and drama in their, or other people's lives? Do they usually focus on who did what bad thing to someone else? Or maybe they talk about hair, makeup, furniture, renovations, drinking, sports, cars, or some other 'desirable' objects?
Or course there is nothing wrong with these things if they're fun for you. So do you enjoy it and join in? Does it make you feel uncomfortable or get you down? Or are you simply puzzled why people spend their time talking about things like this?
If you're not enjoying the conversations around you ask "What do I enjoy talking about?" and notice what comes to mind. If you realise what you enjoy doesn't match what people around you are talking about, simply acknowledge it with "How interesting I don't enjoy this." Then gently extract yourself.
If you can't immediately remove yourself from the conversation, a smile, a nod, and interesting point of view energy will take you out of resist and react. What if by not engaging in the talk, you changed the conversation?
And you can always ask "What will it take for more fun people to come and play?" and find people who are more in your zone.
Are you comfortable with money? Or do you struggle with it and never seem to have enough? Even if you're not living hand-to-mouth, do you have the feeling you don't have as much as you need to do all the things you enjoy?
Or perhaps you've defined the things you enjoy to fit within the limited amount of money you've decided you have available to you?
What is your point of view about money? That it's greedy to have too much? There's not enough to go around? If you have a lot, then someone else will miss out? That you don't deserve it? It won't bring happiness? What else?
Are these points of view true? They are if they are your point of view. Remember, your point of view creates your reality.
So, if you'd like to change your point of view about money and create greater ease with it, ask "What's the value of having no money?"
If you discover there is little value, ask some more questions like "What if everything about money was for the fun of it?" and "If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?"
Do you sometimes feel like you have no options? For example, you have NO CHOICE but to look after your elderly parents, make your kids do homework, stay late at the office, cancel your holiday, pay for dinner, host the family at Christmas, get married, get a job, buy a house, have kids, stay at home, take a medicine, follow the rules.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of these things. It's simply your point of view if you don't like something.
If your point of view is that you don't like it, and you'd prefer something else, instead of defaulting to the No Choice version of life, ask "Who or what is limiting my choices?"
Once you become clear about whether it's you, or someone or something else limiting your choices, you can ask more questions to create what you'd really like. For example, "What else is possible?" "What will it take for X to show up?" or "What action can I take?"
This is a free-will universe, remember? There is always choice. What if you stopped being your greatest limitation?
Do you think there is a limit to your energy? Do you often feel tired or drained? When you exercise, do you worry you'll run out of energy?
Here's what science says. Energy cannot be created or be destroyed; it can only be transformed into another sort of energy. Systems — like people and things — can transfer energy between them simply.
It appears there is no scientific reason to lack energy. Elite athletes know this. The only difference is a point of view, not physical access to energy.
So if you'd like to invigorate your life, ask "What if I had unlimited energy?" and then consciously pull energy from everything around you: the space, the people, the trees, the sun, whatever is available.
And don't forget to ask "Am I tired, or bored?" Often the key to unleashing unlimited energy is quite simply fun. Truth, are you having fun?
Are you having a rough time, facing something tough? Do people around you say or do things that just get up your nose?
Does it seem like everything is going to ell in a hand basket? Do you frown all day, walk around with stooped shoulders, and snap at everyone...if you can get out of bed that is?
Would you like to change that? Even if you don't think it's possible and can't see a way out, ask "What if I just smiled all day today?"
This requires no thinking. Just pull those lips back into a smile. No matter what happens, no matter who says or does what, smile and be interesting point of view. If you choose to stay in bed all day, smile at the ceiling.
If you need to, pull a really big rubber band across your mouth and hook it up to both ears to keep smiling. Believe it or now, science has shown this actually works to change your mood. The only question is: are you ready to change?
How often have you been told life is a rollercoaster? That you have to take the good with the bad? That without downs there would be no ups?
What if your life had no ups and downs? Do you think you'd flatlined? Have you decided that without the thrill of the up-down rollercoaster you'd be dead?
Do you enjoy being down? If not, then ask "What if my life just got better and better?
What makes your up times? What makes your down times? Is it what happens? Or is it your point of view about what happens and your willingness to change?
What if your point if view was that you could simply choose to be happe, without needing to be unhappy, to experience the difference?
What if you remembered to ask "What's rights about this that I'm not getting?"
What if happiness were just a choice?
How much time do you spend second guessing whether you'll fail at something or not? Do you say "I'd like to do it, but I probably won't be any good" or "I'll give it a go, but I'm sure I won't do very well?" Some of this may be because you think you shouldn't big-note yourself.
How much of it do you end up believing?
There is nothing wrong with this point of view. Be aware, that your point of view creates your reality. So if you think you'll be no good, then you're absolutely correct.
If you'd like to create a different reality — an expansive, can-do reality full of possibility, then start with a different point of view. Start by asking "What if success were the only option?"
What is the definintion of success? That's up to you. How have you defined success? What if by being clear on what you'd truly like as your life and living, then success IS the only option?
They're up in the air of course. Or are they? If you're standing on your head, then wouldn't your feet be on your head?
How many things in your life are like this? Beliefs based on assumptions? You've heard it from your family, your friends, your government, your doctors, or saw it on TV, so of course it's true! Right?
What if some, many, or even all your assumptions about how the world functions were different to what you thought? What if everything was the opposite of what it appeared to be and nothing was the opposite of what it appeared to be?
So next time you'd like clarity about something you have assumed must be certain, ask "If I'm standing on my head, where are my feet?"
You may find they are indeed in the air. Or they may be on your head. Maybe you checked them into the cloakroom. Or perhaps you never had feet to begin with?
How often do you feel swept away by the stream of people's trauma and drama? Dragged over the rapids and smashed against the rocks?
Or perhaps you're the salmon diligently swimming upstream, against the flow?
What if instead, you were the rock in the stream, allowing the water to pass one way and the salmon to pass the other?
What if you could see it all, without being the effect of it, so that you could choose what worked for you?
This is allowance, and questions will enable you to be in that state.
Like to be the rock? Ask yourself "What if I be the question?"
What does your life feel like right now? Light? Heavy? Fun? Serious? Energetic? Lethargic? Joyous? Miserable? Frivolous? Exhausting? Add your own words, image or feelings to describe your life as it is now.
Got them? Sometimes it helps to close your eyes to do it.
Now ask yourself "Is this the life I truly desire?"
If your life is not exactly what you'd like, then do it again, first asking "If time, money and other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose for my life, living and reality?"
Now get a sense of the energy of the life you'd truly like. Add words, images, smells, feelings, sensations too if that helps.
Are two images the same, or different?
What if you carried with you the energy of the life you'd truly like, and chose consciously people and things that matched it, regardless of your normal logical pros and cons?
Could that make it easier for you to create the life you'd truly like?
How often do you ask for what you'd really like? All the time? Sometimes? Almost never?
And how much of what you'd really like do you have in your life right now? A lot? A little? Almost nothing?
Do you see the connection? Don't ask, don't get.
What stops you from asking for what you'd like? Do you think that you're being selfish? That there's not enough to go around and you should give up your bit (whatever that is) for someone else? That you don't deserve it? That you don't need to ask for anything from anyone? That people should know what you want? Something else?
Are these true? Or are they interesting points of view that you may have bought from someone, sometime?
Have you ever heard the axiom: ask and you will receive? Have you ever asked?
So if you don't have the life you'd truly like, ask "What if I asked for the life I'd truly like?"
Then ask. And receive.
Have you ever been stuck not knowing what to do? You've got two or more great (or not so great) options and you just don't know which one to go with?
Are you frozen by the idea that you might make the wrong choice? Have you made this choice the answer to your life? And if you get it wrong, people will say "there you go again, making no-good choices" and your life will be over?
Is that true? What if there were no wrong choices? What if no choice was the answer to your life? What if a choice was quite simply that: a choice. A choice that is good for 10 seconds, and then you get to choose again.
How does that feel? A bit lighter? Can you choose now?
So go on, remind yourself: a choice is just a choice and you can do it every 10 seconds. When you're stuck, ask "What if I just chose, dammit?"
Then choose. Repeat.
What's your point of view about magic? That it's voodoo and a lie? Or that it's a bit of a laugh for kids? (But wow...what if you really could do things like Harry Potter and X-men? Wouldn't that be fun!)
Do you ever have wonderful people or things show up in your life with ease and by surprise? Is that like magic?
Does it make you smile?
What if magic were simply things appearing from a source you couldn't see and didn't yet understand? What if magic was simply science you couldn't yet explain? Like if you now saw fire for the first time?
If you'd like to invite more magic into your life and create things you thought impossible, ask "What magic can I ask for today?"
And then ask.
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