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Are the things you'd like not showing up in your life?
Perhaps you're (select any and all that apply): smart, educated, articulate, hard working, diligent, polite, kind, good looking, well connected, in the zone, lucky, [enter your own special talents here _________________________], and generally have everything going for you, and yet the things you'd like are just not showing up. What is that? Do you have any of these points of view?
Having any of these, or similar points of view will cut off your ability to receive. In other words, even when things try to show up in your life, you won't see or allow them in. So if you'd like to allow the things you'd like into your life, ask yourself “What am I unwilling to receive?” When you're clear on your points of view about receiving, ask "What's it going to take for X to show up?" again. Then notice what shows up - no matter in what form and including somebody else's point of view - and ask "What action could I take?"
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To change something, first get clear on exactly what you 'd like to change by asking “What is this?”
Next ask “Would I like to change it?” To change something, you must truly desire it and be willing to do whatever it takes. Then you can ask “If so, how?” Can you ever change someone else? No. The only thing you can change is you and your points of view. For example, do you get upset and fight back when friends, family or perfect strangers reprimand, bully or gaslight you about something you say or do? How well does that work out? So what else is possible? Great question. When you ask a question, possibilities will show up. For example, in this case you could - walk away and stop talking to them; they can't reprimand, bully or gaslight you if you're not around - put your own points of view away, push all your barriers down, smile and ask them genuine questions about their points of view; you never know, if you ask the right questions with genuine interest they might learn something new...and so might you, or - notice your buttons being pushed and smile; consider your friends, family and even perfect strangers are cute for trying to save you from your idiotic ideas/actions, saying “Thanks so much. Tell me more", then shut up, listen, nod and listen some more till they run out of steam. Remember, just because you listen to their stories, doesn't mean you have to buy them. Do you love to read and research trying to make sense of the world, or to seek the truth about what is best for you and yours?
Are you excited when you uncover a new piece of information? Sometimes do you find your sense of excitement, lightness and possibility growing heavy? Maybe you experience this light-heavy-light-heavy cycle continuously? Remember that what's true for you always makes you lighter and a lie for you always makes you heavy. So what is it when you sense the heaviness of a lie, and yet the issue plays on around and around in your head, keeping your attention? If you'd like to find out, next time this happens when reading an article, watching a video, or having a conversation with someone, ask yourself "Is this a truth with a lie attached?" If you feel a lightness, then ask "What part of this is true?" (it will feel lighter) and "What part of this is a lie, spoken or unspoken?" (it will feel heavy). These questions can help you pick your way through the myriad stories on sale without you being compressed into a solid block of granite. How light would you be if you could pull apart all the stories with ease, and know clearly what's light for you, rather than feeling like you have to buy the whole bundle and then tie yourself up with reasons and justifications for doing so? Better still, what if next time you find yourself about to tumble down a rabbit hole or into someone's trauma and drama, you simply choose lightness? Go outside and play with the kids/pets/partner, have a sleep, do some gardening, watch a funny movie, ANYTHING that is light for you. How much of everything we hear is part true and part a lie? What could you create as your life if you considered it all an interesting point of view? *** Much gratitude again to Dr Dain Heer for this one. How often do you limit your choices – before you even consider them – by concluding that other people won't approve?
Do you ever say something like “My husband/wife/partner wouldn't agree”, “My parents wouldn't like it” or even “No one else does that, so what would everyone think of me?” Is worrying about what other people think one of the main reasons you give for not doing something? What if you took other people out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? If you'd like to find out, ask yourself “If other people's points of view weren't real – if everything were just an interesting point of view – what would I choose?” How many of the world's great science, social, cultural, business and other innovations and discoveries have come from people doing what they loved, and knowing what was right for them, no matter what other people thought was real, true, or possible? What could be possible for you if you listened more to you? Are you stuck in a non-productive cycle of right/wrong/right/wrong or true/fake/true/fake with someone?
Can you see the precise disconnect between you and the other person, and how the situation could improve so simply and easily if you both considered the other's interesting point of view? Truth, can you ever change anyone else? No. The only thing you can change is YOU. YOU are the only one that can cut your mobius strip of conflict. Are you willing to stop hanging on to your point of view that you can change someone? Sometimes change is possible only when you let things go. So if you'd like to extract yourself from a cycle of struggle, ask “What could I be doing differently that would contribute to the change I desire?” Are you smart? Are you aware of everything going on around you in all time, space and dimensions, seeing connections, pasts and futures that no one else can see?
And yet do you find that other people always seem to be talking down to you, explaining and pontificating on things to you, as if you had no idea? How do you react? Do you nod, smile and think "interesting"? Or do you get annoyed, worked up, and drawn into a meaningless circular argument? Do people ever concede you known what you're talking about? If not and you'd like greater ease in these situations ask "What if I didn't need to prove I was smart"? Does trying to prove you're smart mean that you've actually decided you're not? Is that true? Or did you buy that point of view from someone, sometime? When you try to prove you’re smart, you have to have all the answers. What if your smarts - your awareness - was the thing that could point out where the answers end and the questions begin? What else could be possible then? Ever heard a story or two million? What about the stories you hear on social media, or the nightly news? Are they true? Are they fake?
How much of story telling is someone trying to get you to do what they want? Or at least confuse you about what is really going on? What if none of it were real or true? What if all stories were simply interesting points of view? If you'd like to be free to create your own life as you'd like, ask "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell, or buy the story?" Then check in with what feels light to you and choose that. Repeat. Every time you hear a story - in person, from social media, mainstream media, the government or any other 'authority' or source - ask "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell, or buy the story?" Then check in with what feels light to you and choose that. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat X infinity. Sure you can enjoy a story for the heck of it. At the end, say “Wow, that was a terrific story! Thank you [for the entertainment]! What an interesting point of view!" And then ask yourself "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell or buy the story?" Check in with what feels light to you and choose that. You get the picture. What is the point of life? Do you know? Does anyone?
Is it the same for everyone? Have you bought a point of view from someone that doesn't quite seem to fit you? What if you created your own point of life? Would that work better? What would you choose? Would you choose things that were hard and to be suffered? Or would you choose things that were a delight for you to do? And who decided you had to choose the no-fun, problem-filled, version of life that many people seem to create, anyway? Would you like to choose differently? If so, ask “What if the point of life was to have fun?” and then "What action can I take to create that?" How often do you get stuck in a no-win fight? Do you enjoy it when other people won't listen to your opinion and only want you to see theirs?
How much stress, anxiety and worry do you suffer from trying to prove who's right and who's wrong about something? Does this help your work or business? Do fights create, or use your time and money? What does stress, anxiety and worry do to your body and health? Would you prefer to create greater ease in life for you and your body? Then practice these magic words “interesting point of view” every time you find yourself having a difference of opinion with someone. You're not saying anyone is right or wrong. You're acknowledging everyone has a right to their own (perhaps insane) point of view, including you. Say it lightly, smile and move on, for example “Yes, I see, thank you. That's a really interesting point of view. I wonder what would be the most rewarding outcome for our business/relationship/health/life right now? What else could we look at?” This invites in new ideas and information that you might both find interesting. Do you have days/weeks/months when things are just not working the way you'd like to?
When people tell you “No!”, “You can't do that!” and “That's not how things are done now!” You've got great ideas, lots of energy, and a desire to contribute, but everyone around you is saying "NO!" Does this frustrate, upset or disappoint you? Do you find yourself stuck inside, sitting on your couch despondent and dispirited, reacting to all the trauma and drama around you? If so, next time your you hear someone say “No” say to yourself “OK. Got it. That doesn't work right now. I wonder what else is possible?” Then pay attention and see what comes to mind. You might surprise yourself with different point of view about what action to take. Even just asking a question is taking action, and of course you can ask "What action can I take?" Taking action is you creating your life, rather than suffering it as a reaction to everything around you. Do you get cranky pants with people? Are you frustrated when people make choices, which from your standpoint seem harmful?
Anger can indicate all sorts of things. Rising anger may indicate someone is lying to you. Explosive anger can show you where you've been suppressing yourself. While heated anger can be a sign that you are in judgement, rather than interesting point of view. When you sense any heated irritation, ask yourself "Has my awareness outstripped my allowance?" If so, repeat "Interesting point of view I have that point of view" until your allowance expands infinitely, creating space for infinite awareness. Remember, choice creates awareness. So what's right about people's 'harmful' choices that you're not getting yet? How do you create your life? Easily? Or do you always seem to face a few, even a lot of problems along the way?
What is your point of view about getting what you want? That you don't deserve it? That you should feel guilty when you get something others don't? Or do you blame someone for getting in your way? That you always have to struggle and work hard? What else? None of those points of view are wrong, if you're fully enjoying your life as it is. And if not, ask yourself "Am I willing to create my life elegantly?" Elegance is the greatest result with the least effort. Do you consider that cheating? Or is that being smart and empowering yourself to create even greater things for you and others? Don't forget, even when 'problems' do pop up along the way, remind yourself that everything is simply an interesting point of view by asking "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" Got something you'd like to say? How many times have you tried to say it? Once? Twice? A thousand? More?
Are you being heard? Do people hang on your every word, wanting to know more? Or do they close their ears, and walk or even run away? How do you present your ideas? Are you well researched, earnestly setting out the facts? Or do you playfully, joyfully ask a few questions and then listen to the other person's point of view? Whatever you're doing, if it's working for you, keep doing it. If not, ask yourself "What could I say to make them laugh?" When you laugh, how do you feel? Do you remain defensive and aloof? Or do you relax and open up? Ultimately, you may or may not get your message across, but at least the interaction will be more enjoyable for both of you. You never know, they may come back later for some more of the good vibe. And one day, they may even hear what you're saying. Do you have a point of view about something that when anyone else says the opposite, or even something just a bit different to your point of view, you feel your heckles rising?
Is there something that you know for sure, than when anyone even hints that they don't agree, you grit your teeth and barrage them with pointed questions, pushing them to the point of no choice but to agree with you? Or perhaps when someone dares hold their ground against your views, you throw up your hands in disgust and walk away, rolling your eyes at the ignorance? You do these things because you know you're right, right? What if when you need to be right, you're absolutely wrong? If you'd like to find out, next time you notice yourself in this situation, ask yourself "Am I needing to be right?" And if you sense a need, ask yourself "What awareness could I have if I wasn't in judgement?" Do you know the old philosophical question "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, would it create a sound?"
One explanation is: sound is different frequencies of vibrations, and if no one is in the forest to hear it, those vibrations will not be converted into sound. So by that definition, there would be no sound. So what about everything else? If something happens and you don't think it's a problem, but your mum does, is it a problem? Unless you like problems, next time this happens ask yourself "What if I choose not to hear it?" Then smile and say or think "Interesting point of view, mum." Right now, what are you aware of that every single person around you can't see?
When you talk about what you're aware of, what do they do? Do they listen patiently and kindly, smile and pat you on the shoulder and say "Sure, that's an interesting point of view. Not something I can see, but hey I'm here for you no matter what"? Or do they laugh at you, gaslight you, bully you, call you crazy, tell you you're wrong, worthless, and stupid? Or maybe they just smirk and roll their eyes? What do you do when someone spits on your point of view like this? Do you second guess yourself, capitulate, agree and align with their point of view? Does it become so heavy it pulls you down? If so, ask yourself "Am I willing to have my own back?" When you're not willing to have your own back, you'll crumple at the whisper of someone else's doubt or scepticism, no matter how clear your awareness. And the best thing about having your own back is that you'll see very clearly, very quickly anyone who doesn't. How many points of view do you have about what is good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Probably quite a few, if not all, give that is how we are currently entrained to operate.
Consider this: does the earth consider anything good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Is nature in a constant state of anger, rage, fury and hate over 'important' issues? No. The earth is in total allowance of everything. It has no point of view about its inhabitants. Certainly volcanos erupt, earthquakes happen, animals eat other animals, and all these things occur without judgement or significance. If people did not exist, would the earth continue to be abundant and generative? Absolutely. So if you would prefer an abundant and generative life like earth, ask "Am I making this significant?" Then whenever you notice you're making something significant, laugh lightly and repeat "interesting point of view" to move you from the limited denseness of significance into the infinite freedom of allowance. Are you a serious person, deeply concerned about family, community, and world affairs? Are you always focused, earnest, and diligent?
How much do you laugh with sheer delight and joy? Not much? Perhaps you decided somewhere consciously or unconsciously that to laugh is to be frivolous? If so, and you'd like another possibility as yourself "What could my laughter contribute?" What if instead of going about your life carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, you laughed your way through with a lightness of being as you create your lived adventure? What could the vibration of your laughter heal? For example, next time you find yourself in a heated 'debate' (fight), instead of getting all cranky pants and righteous, what if you burst out giggling with real joy and said "You know what, you're probably right. Goodness I make myself laugh sometimes!" Then smile and walk away. What crinkles in the universe could your laughter make for new possibilities to squeeze through? Do you ever hear yourself saying "My life is terrible and I can't change it," or something similar?
Remember, your point of view creates your reality, so if that is your point of view, you are 100% correct. If you'd like a different reality, ask "Would an infinite being truly choose this?" In asking this question, you invite the awareness of a different possibility. If an infinite being wouldn't choose this, then why are you? The only reason you choose something an infinite being wouldn't choose, is to make yourself finite. You can certainly choose that if you wish. Or instead you could say "Would an infinite being choose a life that is terrible? What will it take to change it?" What would you you like to create or change in your life right now? Whatever that is, are you looking to create or change it because you've decided it would be 'good' to, or 'bad' not to?
If so, and you prefer limitless rather than limited possibilities, ask "Have I decided this is good/bad?" If you notice you have, say "Interesting point of view I have that point of view. Now what else is possible?" Good and bad are points of view. There is nothing wrong with having a point of view as long as you are aware that it is an "interesting point of view," that you change every ten seconds if you choose. When you lock yourself into a judgement that a point of view is good/bad, right/wrong, you will only be able to see things that fit within the narrow polarised band of that judgement. Every other possibility will be excluded. Be aware that a positive point of view can be as limiting as a negative point of view. Once you decide something is right, you may end up spending the rest of your life making it right...or being married to it. On a scale of minus infinity to infinity, how powerful do you feel right now?
Who or what have you decided is more powerful than you? Is that true? Or is it an interesting point of view you've agreed and aligned with? Or perhaps you've decided it's better, or easier to give your power away? Other people will always try to dis-empower you so they can control you and get you to do what they'd like. Remember, a question empowers, so if you'd prefer to have the power to create your life the way you'd like, simply start with a question and ask yourself "What if I wasn't powerless?" Truth, are you an infinite being with infinite choice and possibilities? You can have both a judgement and an awareness about anything, positive, negative, and everything in between and beyond.
So what's the difference? A judgement will cement your point of view, limit possibilities, and solidify the existence of whatever you're judging. Awareness is just that: awareness. You can see what is, and then when you ask a question about it, you create possibilities. A judgement will have a positive or negative charge on it, while an awareness will have no charge at all. Another difference is that judgement requires time, while awareness is instantaneous. And you can always ask yourself "Is this a judgement, or an awareness?" Do you have something in your world right now that you consider right/wrong?
If it's wrong, are you trying to fix it and make it right? If it's right, are you trying hard to not let it go wrong? How much freedom do you sense when you do this? Does your judgement of things being right/wrong expanding your possibilities or limiting them? If you'd like greater possibility to create beyond what you can imagine, ask "What if right and wrong were just interesting point of view?" Then next time to find yourself agreeing/aligning (right) or resisting/reaction (wrong) to something, instead say "Mmmm, this is interesting. What else is possible here?" What could you create by stepping out of judgement and into the allowance of interesting point of view?. Sometimes when you interact with people or are in certain situations, do you find yourself saying "interesting point of view" with clenched teeth and a little bit of heat?
If so, ask yourself "Am I doing tolerance and patience?" Tolerance is what you do when you're frustrated, but you let whatever is going on go through its process, even thought you're not happy about it. When you're tolerant, you are agreeing to suffer in silence. Patience is when you're waiting for someone or something to change, while you're sitting in judgement of it not changing. Have you ever put your life on hold until something changes? While you put you're life on hold, you have no choice. You are sitting in judgement, vested in the outcome. So when you notice heat while saying or thinking "interesting point of view" be aware that you may have a judgement of something. Then, without making yourself wrong, say "Interesting point of view I have that point of view." Total allowance is to acknowledge what's going on and being willing to choose for you and not wait for or put up with whatever else is going on. How much evil, meanness and ugliness can you see in the world? Not much, a bit, or everywhere you look?
When you see evil, meanness and ugliness, what do you do? Do you resist and react to it, trying to fix it? How does that work out? If you'd like greater ease and possibility, ask yourself "What if evil, mean and ugly were just a choice?" Now breath. People choose to do evil, mean and ugly things all the time just because they can. When you are able to see all the evil, meanness and ugliness in the world and recognise that it is all simply an interesting point of view — it's not right or wrong, or good or bad, it's just a choice people make — then you will no longer be the effect of it. When you are the effect of something, how free are you to create the changes you'd really like? When you resist and react to something, do you dissipate, or solidify the thing you're reacting to? What if by being in total allowance of everything — including the evil, mean & ugly — you created more possibilities for the world you desire than you ever imagined? |
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