Sometimes when you interact with people or are in certain situations, do you find yourself saying "interesting point of view" with clenched teeth and a little bit of heat?

If so, ask yourself "Am I doing tolerance and patience?"

​Tolerance is  what you do when you're frustrated, but you let whatever is going on go through its process, even thought you're not happy about it. When you're tolerant, you are agreeing to suffer in silence. 

Patience is when you're waiting for someone or something to change, while you're sitting in judgement of it not changing. Have you ever put your life on hold until something changes? While you put you're life on hold, you have no choice. You are sitting in judgement, vested in the outcome. 

So when you notice heat while saying or thinking "interesting point of view" be aware that you may have a judgement of something. Then, without making yourself wrong, say  "Interesting point of view I have that point of view."

Total allowance is to acknowledge what's going on and being willing to choose for you and not wait for or put up with whatever else is going on. ​

Have you grown up thinking that honesty is the best policy? Do you always seek to tell people what you know to be true?

How has that working for you? If it's not easy sailing, ask yourself "What if honesty wasn't what I thought it was?"

When you tell people what you think they ought to hear, because you know it to be true, are you considering their point of view, their truth or their reality? Or are you telling them your point of view, your truth and your reality?

When you dump your points of view on top of someone, how much space do they have for themselves? Do they enjoy being hemmed in under your pile of truth and ask you for more? Or do they kick it off and run away?

What if instead of being bluntly honest with other people, you be bluntly honest with yourself, and only tell people what they are capable of hearing? ​

Or even ask them a question instead?

How many people do you meet who have such fixed points of view that they are never able to see beyond what they have decided is true, even when it smacks them in the face?

If you'd like someone to see beyond their self-imposed limitations, ask yourself "What wedgie could I ask?" A wedgie is a question that creates discomfort in someone's universe and is designed to get the other person to ask a question. 

For example, when you notice someone has fixed points of view about something, instead of being triggered, trying to prove, or defending your own points of view by giving them too much information, make them uncomfortable by asking a wedgie. 

For example, in total allowance say "Interesting. What if everything was the opposite of what it appears to be?" or "What if there was something about that situation that is a lie?"  

Then stop talking. Sometimes you'll even need to let them sit with your question for weeks, until the discomfort becomes unbearable and they have to return and ask a question.

Questions create possibilities and now you have a tiny space to invite them to see different realities. Be gentle. Listen to them in total allowance and ask them lots more questions. 

How often do you share your point of view about something — how to do something, where to go, who to work with, when to do something, what to write/say/do — but someone else comes in and tells you/everyone their different point of view and somehow you end up feeling wrong or useless?

Do you then go along with that different point of view, to please them/everyone? And how does that work out for you? Always, sometimes, not often, or never at all?

If you'd like to reduce/eradicate the number of times it never works out for you, ask yourself "Am I willing to know when I'm correct?"

Then whenever you have an awareness about something, regardless of what other people say, choose what you know to be correct for you. ​

Do you ever find yourself trying to prove something? Spouting lists of facts to show how smart you are? Working 80 hours a week to prove you're successful? Spending all your money on the latest fashion so others will think you're attractive? Exhausting yourself on something to prove you're the best at it, whatever that is (best parent, best worker, best volunteer, best friend etc). 

Do you ever really feel smart, successful, attractive or the best at what you're doing? If not, ask "What's the opposite of what I'm trying to prove?" 

When you're trying to prove something, your real point of view about yourself is the opposite. And the more you hold that point of view, the more it solidifies.

What if you didn't need to prove anything? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being exactly who you are could change the world?

What if all you had to do was change your point of view? ​

How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family, in-laws, or co-workers who are on a different wavelength to you? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're 'not good enough'? Do some of them think it's 'fun' to laugh at your views on life? Or perhaps they're just plain mean ELFs who know you're an easy mark?

If you dread family, workplace or other gatherings with people who are not in your zone, try these games and create a difference. 

• Gratitude Trumps, for when your get togethers are full of robust discussion or outright fighting full of individuals crying out for more attention. This game gifts the ones giving you the hardest time the attention they seek. With gentleness and allowance, say "I'm so grateful that you are in my life. You are such a gift." And smile. 
• Expand Outwards Reverse Origami, whenever you start to feel you're folding, stapling, mutilating, or contracting yourself to fit into someone else's reality box, or you're gasping in the vacuum because they've sucked all the oxygen out of the room, or you feel pinned beneath the weight of your family/boss' baggage and expectations.
• ​Nurture You Monopoly, where no matter arrangements your family or workplace has made, you pre-plan a time and place to do something you really enjoy.
• Interesting Point of View Dominos, for whenever you sense someone is looking to criticise, hurt, insult, or provoke you, smile, nod gently and — without heat — reply "Hmm, really interesting point of view."
• Snakes and Bring Downers, for when you know the Snakes who always bite you when you least expect it because that's their instinct, and the Bring Downers, who simply get a kick out of making your life hell and bringing you down, will be at the party. When they start giving you hell at the party, smile and acknowledge them for being really great at what they do. How? When they start with the biting and the bringing down — without heat — say "Wow, you're really good at doing that!" When they ask you what you're talking about reply "Whatever you're doing now. What is that?" Then listen with interesting point of view energy. Or walk away, with a nurturing smile to yourself. 

Enjoy the Silly Season. ​

Are you surrounded by people telling you what is true, what is fake, and what you should stake your life on? 

Do you have family, friends, experts and random strangers standing on 360 degrees of any particular issue, presenting you with a dizzying array of information and persuasive propositions? Does any of that help? Or do you feel more confused and hemmed into a reality that doesn't feel quite right?

​If you'd like to create space and ease when you're being bombarded by so many points of view, ask yourself about each one as it is presented to you "Is this light for me?" You know the breezy sense of space and weightlessness you have when everything is just right, and not the heavy, clunky feeling when something is not quite right and you sense a lie. 

In other words, if you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not right for you. 

What if none of these people were wrong? What if each of their points of view were 100% correct...for them? Just because something is right for someone else, doesn't mean it's right for you. ​

What do you have to do today, that you'd really rather not?

Clean the house? Do the shopping? Visit an unpleasant relative? Wash the car? Attend the weekly staff meeting? Write an essay? Sit an exam? Speak in public? Go to the dentist? Give your family news that you know they'll hate?

What makes you go '"Ugh, I'd rather not'" but you know you're going to do it anyway?

If you'd like to create more ease for yourself, ask "How can I enjoy the heck out of it?" Your point of view creates your reality, so if your point of view is "I don't enjoy this" then your are correct. You don't and you won't. There is no possibility it could turn out to be fun after all. 

If your point of view is "What would it take for this to turn out to be more fun than I could ever imagine?" you create an invitation for that to occur. 

To start, carry with you one thing that makes you laugh. A joke. A game. A book. An app. A photo. A wiggle in your walk. What else? Whatever that is, put it in your metaphorical back pocket and pull it out to entertain yourself when things are getting tough. 

After a while you might fing you won't need it. Happiness is just a choice. What do you choose?

Do you run a business? How are your sales going? Is your client list growing? Or do you find it a constant struggle?

What are your points of view about your products or services? Do you consider them to be a gift to the world and people's lives would be improved if they only recognised their value? Or that they are cheap rubbish that people would be better off not wasting their money on?

How do you share your points of view? Do you find it easy to talk about your business? If you'd like to create greater ease in your business, and more reward for you and others, ask "What would it take for me to be a salesperson of magnitude?" then tell people what they want to hear. 

What do they want to hear? Whatever will allow them to justify why they should give you money for what they have already decided they'd like to buy. 

People who ask you about your business are already interested in what you offer, and are seeking a reason to buy. What if you made it easy for them?

Think of one thing you'd really like to be, do, have in life today. Got it?

Now think of all those reason and justifications why you don't be, do, have it today. Got them?

What were they? You can't take the day off work? You don't have the money? You don't have anyone to help you? You've got too much else to do? You're not ready? You're not good enough? You'd be letting other people down? What would people think?

Are these really what stand in your way? Or is it your point of view about these things? What would happen if you changed your point of view? 

If you'd like to create more possibility in your life, and less of the "I can't because..." ask yourself "Who or what is limiting me today?" and "What else would be possible if I changed my point of view?"

Who is the one who limits you really?

How much of the Silly Season do you spend listening to people tell you directly, or indirectly how much rubbish you are?

Is that fun? Is it true? If not and you'd like something different, play this game. Whenever you sense someone is looking to criticise, hurt, insult, or provoke you, smile, nod gently and — without heat — reply "Hmm, really interesting point of view."

You are acknowledging their viewpoint and allowing them to enjoy it. You're not agreeing they're right, and you're not being distracted by falling into an angry, emotional reaction (which is usually what they really want so they can control you). 

If you need to pull the heat out of an interest onslaught, tell them "You're right. I'm wrong" three times. 

Our addiction to right and wrong, good and bad is one of the strongest we have. These two magic phrases will invite the energy of allowance into any Silly Season.

Just think, if everyone were in allowance, would family feuds, neighbouring conflicts, or even global wars, topple over like dominos?

What is your point of view about money, for example? That there isn't enough to go around? That it doesn't grow on trees? That you have to work long and hard to get enough? And what about the government and media? That they're run by professional experts and so how dare average people question them? That they're run by a corrupted few and there's nothing you can do to change it?

Whatever your point of view are, is that more or less what shows up for you? So your points of view are not wrong. Your points of view are creating your reality. 

If something is working for you, then there is no need to change your point of view. What about when something is NOT working for you? For example, if you'd prefer to have more money in your life, or if you'd prefer government and media organisations that consider your concerns?  In this case, ask "What if I changed my point of view?" 

Then everytime you start to say something about money, the government or media, STOP and say "Interesting I have that point of view. I wonder what else is possible, greater than I can imagine?"

What else would you like to change? The people in your life, your health, your daily activities like work, or global issues affecting your life? What else could you change your point of view about that could create a whole new reality you can't yet imagine. 

Do you find yourself doing things you'd rather not? Sometimes even doing things you know are not good for you?

Do you do them because you've been told that not to do them would be shameful, that you'd be guilty of causing harm to others, or that you'd regret not doing them? 

Are shame, guilt, and regret real and true? Or are they simply interesting points of view based on someone's view of right and wrong? Words designed to control you and coerce you into doing what other people want, while distracting you from creating the life you'd really like?

Other people will always try to get you to do stuff their way, using words to trick you into believing it's good for you.  

If you'd like to be free from the control of distractors like this, ask "Is the thought of shame, guilt or regret distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?"  Then see how light you feel. 

You may end up choosing to do exactly the same thing, but not because someone tricked you into it. It will be your free and conscious choice. 

Are you a parent, or thinking about growing some kids?

Do you feel like a beach ball on the ocean being battered by waves in the middle of a storm of advice? People telling you what you must/must not do to be a 'successful' parent? And if you don't, UH OH, your poor kids...

Does this help you smile and enjoy being a parent, or potential parent? Or not so much?

What if parenting wasn't what you thought it was? What if it could be whatever you chose it to be? What would that be?

Try this on for size. Ask yourself "What if my job as a parent was to be joyful?" What would create more joy for you as a parent? Acknowledging everyone else's points of view as interesting, then asking "Does this work for me?" and creating your life based on your own awareness? 

What if the greatest gift you could offer your children was to show them the joy of life and living is whatever they choose it to be. 

What do people around you talk about? Do they gossip and talk endlessly about the next instalment of the trauma and drama in their, or other people's lives? Do they usually focus on who did what bad thing to someone else? Or maybe they talk about hair, makeup, furniture, renovations, drinking, sports, cars, or some other 'desirable' objects? 

Or course there is nothing wrong with these things if they're fun for you. So do you enjoy it and join in? Does it make you feel uncomfortable or get you down? Or are you simply puzzled why people spend their time talking about things like this? 

If you're not enjoying the conversations around you ask "What do I enjoy talking about?" and notice what comes to mind. If you realise what you enjoy doesn't match what people around you are talking about, simply acknowledge it with "How interesting I don't enjoy this." Then gently extract yourself. 

If you can't immediately remove yourself from the conversation, a smile, a nod, and interesting point of view energy will take you out of resist and react. What if by not engaging in the talk, you changed the conversation?

And you can always ask "What will it take for more fun people to come and play?" and find people who are more in your zone. 

Are you comfortable with money? Or do you struggle with it and never seem to have enough? Even if you're not living hand-to-mouth, do you have the feeling you don't have as much as you need to do all the things you enjoy? 

Or perhaps you've defined the things you enjoy to fit within the limited amount of money you've decided you have available to you?

What is your point of view about money? That it's greedy to have too much? There's not enough to go around? If you have a lot, then someone else will miss out? That you don't deserve it? It won't bring happiness? What else?

Are these points of view true? They are if they are your point of view. Remember, your point of view creates your reality. 

So, if you'd like to change your point of view about money and create greater ease with it, ask "What's the value of having no money?" 

If you discover there is little value, ask some more questions like "What if everything about money was for the fun of it?" and "If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?" 

Do you think there is a limit to your energy? Do you often feel tired or drained? When you exercise, do you worry you'll run out of energy?

Here's what science says. Energy cannot be created or be destroyed; it can only be transformed into another sort of energy. Systems — like people and things — can transfer energy between them simply. 

It appears there is no scientific reason to lack energy. Elite athletes know this. The only difference is a point of view, not physical access to energy. 

So if you'd like to invigorate your life, ask "What if I had unlimited energy?" and then consciously pull energy from everything around you: the space, the people, the trees, the sun, whatever is available. 

And don't forget to ask "Am I tired, or bored?" Often the key to unleashing unlimited energy is quite simply fun. Truth, are you having fun?

Are you having a rough time, facing something tough? Do people around you say or do things that just get up your nose?

Does it seem like everything is going to ell in a hand basket? Do you frown all day, walk around with stooped shoulders, and snap at everyone...if you can get out of bed that is?

Would you like to change that? Even if you don't think it's possible and can't see a way out, ask "What if I just smiled all day today?"

This requires no thinking. Just pull those lips back into a smile. No matter what happens, no matter who says or does what, smile and be interesting point of view. If you choose to stay in bed all day, smile at the ceiling. 

If you need to, pull a really big rubber band across your mouth and hook it up to both ears to keep smiling. Believe it or now, science has shown this actually works to change your mood. The only question is: are you ready to change?