Do you get cranky pants with people? Are you frustrated when people make choices, which from your standpoint seem harmful?
Anger can indicate all sorts of things. Rising anger may indicate someone is lying to you. Explosive anger can show you where you've been suppressing yourself. While heated anger can be a sign that you are in judgement, rather than interesting point of view.
When you sense any heated irritation, ask yourself "Has my awareness outstripped my allowance?"
If so, repeat "Interesting point of view I have that point of view" until your allowance expands infinitely, creating space for infinite awareness.
Remember, choice creates awareness. So what's right about people's 'harmful' choices that you're not getting yet?
How do you create your life? Easily? Or do you always seem to face a few, even a lot of problems along the way?
What is your point of view about getting what you want? That you don't deserve it? That you should feel guilty when you get something others don't? Or do you blame someone for getting in your way? That you always have to struggle and work hard? What else?
None of those points of view are wrong, if you're fully enjoying your life as it is.
And if not, ask yourself "Am I willing to create my life elegantly?" Elegance is the greatest result with the least effort.
Do you consider that cheating? Or is that being smart and empowering yourself to create even greater things for you and others?
Don't forget, even when 'problems' do pop up along the way, remind yourself that everything is simply an interesting point of view by asking "What's right about this that I'm not getting?"
Got something you'd like to say? How many times have you tried to say it? Once? Twice? A thousand? More?
Are you being heard? Do people hang on your every word, wanting to know more? Or do they close their ears, and walk or even run away?
How do you present your ideas? Are you well researched, earnestly setting out the facts? Or do you playfully, joyfully ask a few questions and then listen to the other person's point of view?
Whatever you're doing, if it's working for you, keep doing it. If not, ask yourself "What could I say to make them laugh?"
When you laugh, how do you feel? Do you remain defensive and aloof? Or do you relax and open up?
Ultimately, you may or may not get your message across, but at least the interaction will be more enjoyable for both of you.
You never know, they may come back later for some more of the good vibe. And one day, they may even hear what you're saying.
Do you have a point of view about something that when anyone else says the opposite, or even something just a bit different to your point of view, you feel your heckles rising?
Is there something that you know for sure, than when anyone even hints that they don't agree, you grit your teeth and barrage them with pointed questions, pushing them to the point of no choice but to agree with you?
Or perhaps when someone dares hold their ground against your views, you throw up your hands in disgust and walk away, rolling your eyes at the ignorance?
You do these things because you know you're right, right?
What if when you need to be right, you're absolutely wrong?
If you'd like to find out, next time you notice yourself in this situation, ask yourself "Am I needing to be right?"
And if you sense a need, ask yourself "What awareness could I have if I wasn't in judgement?"
Do you know the old philosophical question "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, would it create a sound?"
One explanation is: sound is different frequencies of vibrations, and if no one is in the forest to hear it, those vibrations will not be converted into sound. So by that definition, there would be no sound.
So what about everything else? If something happens and you don't think it's a problem, but your mum does, is it a problem?
Unless you like problems, next time this happens ask yourself "What if I choose not to hear it?"
Then smile and say or think "Interesting point of view, mum."
Right now, what are you aware of that every single person around you can't see?
When you talk about what you're aware of, what do they do? Do they listen patiently and kindly, smile and pat you on the shoulder and say "Sure, that's an interesting point of view. Not something I can see, but hey I'm here for you no matter what"?
Or do they laugh at you, gaslight you, bully you, call you crazy, tell you you're wrong, worthless, and stupid? Or maybe they just smirk and roll their eyes?
What do you do when someone spits on your point of view like this? Do you second guess yourself, capitulate, agree and align with their point of view? Does it become so heavy it pulls you down?
If so, ask yourself "Am I willing to have my own back?" When you're not willing to have your own back, you'll crumple at the whisper of someone else's doubt or scepticism, no matter how clear your awareness.
And the best thing about having your own back is that you'll see very clearly, very quickly anyone who doesn't.
How many points of view do you have about what is good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Probably quite a few, if not all, give that is how we are currently entrained to operate.
Consider this: does the earth consider anything good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Is nature in a constant state of anger, rage, fury and hate over 'important' issues?
No. The earth is in total allowance of everything. It has no point of view about its inhabitants. Certainly volcanos erupt, earthquakes happen, animals eat other animals, and all these things occur without judgement or significance.
If people did not exist, would the earth continue to be abundant and generative? Absolutely.
So if you would prefer an abundant and generative life like earth, ask "Am I making this significant?" Then whenever you notice you're making something significant, laugh lightly and repeat "interesting point of view" to move you from the limited denseness of significance into the infinite freedom of allowance.
Are you a serious person, deeply concerned about family, community, and world affairs? Are you always focused, earnest, and diligent?
How much do you laugh with sheer delight and joy? Not much? Perhaps you decided somewhere consciously or unconsciously that to laugh is to be frivolous?
If so, and you'd like another possibility as yourself "What could my laughter contribute?"
What if instead of going about your life carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, you laughed your way through with a lightness of being as you create your lived adventure? What could the vibration of your laughter heal?
For example, next time you find yourself in a heated 'debate' (fight), instead of getting all cranky pants and righteous, what if you burst out giggling with real joy and said "You know what, you're probably right. Goodness I make myself laugh sometimes!" Then smile and walk away.
What crinkles in the universe could your laughter make for new possibilities to squeeze through?
Do you ever hear yourself saying "My life is terrible and I can't change it," or something similar?
Remember, your point of view creates your reality, so if that is your point of view, you are 100% correct.
If you'd like a different reality, ask "Would an infinite being truly choose this?" In asking this question, you invite the awareness of a different possibility.
If an infinite being wouldn't choose this, then why are you? The only reason you choose something an infinite being wouldn't choose, is to make yourself finite. You can certainly choose that if you wish. Or instead you could say "Would an infinite being choose a life that is terrible? What will it take to change it?"
What would you you like to create or change in your life right now? Whatever that is, are you looking to create or change it because you've decided it would be 'good' to, or 'bad' not to?
If so, and you prefer limitless rather than limited possibilities, ask "Have I decided this is good/bad?" If you notice you have, say "Interesting point of view I have that point of view. Now what else is possible?"
Good and bad are points of view. There is nothing wrong with having a point of view as long as you are aware that it is an "interesting point of view," that you change every ten seconds if you choose.
When you lock yourself into a judgement that a point of view is good/bad, right/wrong, you will only be able to see things that fit within the narrow polarised band of that judgement. Every other possibility will be excluded.
Be aware that a positive point of view can be as limiting as a negative point of view. Once you decide something is right, you may end up spending the rest of your life making it right...or being married to it.
On a scale of minus infinity to infinity, how powerful do you feel right now?
Who or what have you decided is more powerful than you? Is that true? Or is it an interesting point of view you've agreed and aligned with? Or perhaps you've decided it's better, or easier to give your power away?
Other people will always try to dis-empower you so they can control you and get you to do what they'd like.
Remember, a question empowers, so if you'd prefer to have the power to create your life the way you'd like, simply start with a question and ask yourself "What if I wasn't powerless?"
Truth, are you an infinite being with infinite choice and possibilities?
You can have both a judgement and an awareness about anything, positive, negative, and everything in between and beyond.
So what's the difference? A judgement will cement your point of view, limit possibilities, and solidify the existence of whatever you're judging.
Awareness is just that: awareness. You can see what is, and then when you ask a question about it, you create possibilities.
A judgement will have a positive or negative charge on it, while an awareness will have no charge at all. Another difference is that judgement requires time, while awareness is instantaneous.
And you can always ask yourself "Is this a judgement, or an awareness?"
Do you have something in your world right now that you consider right/wrong?
If it's wrong, are you trying to fix it and make it right? If it's right, are you trying hard to not let it go wrong?
How much freedom do you sense when you do this? Does your judgement of things being right/wrong expanding your possibilities or limiting them?
If you'd like greater possibility to create beyond what you can imagine, ask "What if right and wrong were just interesting point of view?"
Then next time to find yourself agreeing/aligning (right) or resisting/reaction (wrong) to something, instead say "Mmmm, this is interesting. What else is possible here?"
What could you create by stepping out of judgement and into the allowance of interesting point of view?.
Sometimes when you interact with people or are in certain situations, do you find yourself saying "interesting point of view" with clenched teeth and a little bit of heat?
If so, ask yourself "Am I doing tolerance and patience?"
Tolerance is what you do when you're frustrated, but you let whatever is going on go through its process, even thought you're not happy about it. When you're tolerant, you are agreeing to suffer in silence.
Patience is when you're waiting for someone or something to change, while you're sitting in judgement of it not changing. Have you ever put your life on hold until something changes? While you put you're life on hold, you have no choice. You are sitting in judgement, vested in the outcome.
So when you notice heat while saying or thinking "interesting point of view" be aware that you may have a judgement of something. Then, without making yourself wrong, say "Interesting point of view I have that point of view."
Total allowance is to acknowledge what's going on and being willing to choose for you and not wait for or put up with whatever else is going on.
How much evil, meanness and ugliness can you see in the world? Not much, a bit, or everywhere you look?
When you see evil, meanness and ugliness, what do you do? Do you resist and react to it, trying to fix it? How does that work out?
If you'd like greater ease and possibility, ask yourself "What if evil, mean and ugly were just a choice?" Now breath.
People choose to do evil, mean and ugly things all the time just because they can. When you are able to see all the evil, meanness and ugliness in the world and recognise that it is all simply an interesting point of view — it's not right or wrong, or good or bad, it's just a choice people make — then you will no longer be the effect of it.
When you are the effect of something, how free are you to create the changes you'd really like? When you resist and react to something, do you dissipate, or solidify the thing you're reacting to?
What if by being in total allowance of everything — including the evil, mean & ugly — you created more possibilities for the world you desire than you ever imagined?
Have you grown up thinking that honesty is the best policy? Do you always seek to tell people what you know to be true?
How has that working for you? If it's not easy sailing, ask yourself "What if honesty wasn't what I thought it was?"
When you tell people what you think they ought to hear, because you know it to be true, are you considering their point of view, their truth or their reality? Or are you telling them your point of view, your truth and your reality?
When you dump your points of view on top of someone, how much space do they have for themselves? Do they enjoy being hemmed in under your pile of truth and ask you for more? Or do they kick it off and run away?
What if instead of being bluntly honest with other people, you be bluntly honest with yourself, and only tell people what they are capable of hearing?
Or even ask them a question instead?
How many people do you meet who have such fixed points of view that they are never able to see beyond what they have decided is true, even when it smacks them in the face?
If you'd like someone to see beyond their self-imposed limitations, ask yourself "What wedgie could I ask?" A wedgie is a question that creates discomfort in someone's universe and is designed to get the other person to ask a question.
For example, when you notice someone has fixed points of view about something, instead of being triggered, trying to prove, or defending your own points of view by giving them too much information, make them uncomfortable by asking a wedgie.
For example, in total allowance say "Interesting. What if everything was the opposite of what it appears to be?" or "What if there was something about that situation that is a lie?"
Then stop talking. Sometimes you'll even need to let them sit with your question for weeks, until the discomfort becomes unbearable and they have to return and ask a question.
Questions create possibilities and now you have a tiny space to invite them to see different realities. Be gentle. Listen to them in total allowance and ask them lots more questions.
How often do you share your point of view about something — how to do something, where to go, who to work with, when to do something, what to write/say/do — but someone else comes in and tells you/everyone their different point of view and somehow you end up feeling wrong or useless?
Do you then go along with that different point of view, to please them/everyone? And how does that work out for you? Always, sometimes, not often, or never at all?
If you'd like to reduce/eradicate the number of times it never works out for you, ask yourself "Am I willing to know when I'm correct?"
Then whenever you have an awareness about something, regardless of what other people say, choose what you know to be correct for you.
Do you ever find yourself trying to prove something? Spouting lists of facts to show how smart you are? Working 80 hours a week to prove you're successful? Spending all your money on the latest fashion so others will think you're attractive? Exhausting yourself on something to prove you're the best at it, whatever that is (best parent, best worker, best volunteer, best friend etc).
Do you ever really feel smart, successful, attractive or the best at what you're doing? If not, ask "What's the opposite of what I'm trying to prove?"
When you're trying to prove something, your real point of view about yourself is the opposite. And the more you hold that point of view, the more it solidifies.
What if you didn't need to prove anything? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being exactly who you are could change the world?
What if all you had to do was change your point of view?
Are you feeling overwhelmed by things in life that you seem unable to change? If so, ask "What tools can I use to change this?" Start with these basic five.
Remind yourself that
- you're an infinite being with infinite free choice
- everything is just an interesting point of view
- what feels light is right for you
- a choice will always create awareness; so choose, notice what shows up, choose again, repeat
- nothing has to be fixed and you can choose something new every ten seconds, and
- a question will always create more possibilities
Have you lived most of your life feeling 'wrong'?
No matter what you do, think, or say, do you judge and censure yourself constantly, trying to figure out whether it's right or wrong?
Are you stuck in a loop of defending against and fighting for things, constructing barriers with others to prove something is right or wrong? Do you tie yourself up in knots making yourself wrong for everything?
If you'd like to step out of this loop, start here. First remind yourself that right and wrong are "interesting points of view" and ask yourself "who do these points of view come from?" about any views you seem stuck on.
When others come to you seeking a fight, say "Yes, you are right..." and when you notice your barriers coming up, ask yourself "What if being wrong was right?"
What change could you create by acknowledging the diversity of points of view? What if there were freedom in being wrong?
Do you have any stiffness in your body? In your neck, shoulders, spine, knees, wrists, or hands? Anywhere else?
Have you put it down to the natural ageing process, repetitive strain injury, sitting or standing too long in one position, or lack of certain vitamins or minerals?
Do you expect that as you grow older your body will stiffen and eventually seize up? If these are your points of view, then you are not wrong.
What if there were a different possibility? What about those spritely seniors who roller blade like teenagers, ride horses like cowboys, or dance like Latin lovers?
What makes them so different? Could it simply be their points of view? If you'd like to find out, ask "What fixed points of view am I unwilling to let go?"
How many layers of fixed points of view have you locked into your body and made so real that your body has lost its flexibility? What physical changes could you create with your body, simply by being willing to be "interesting point of view"?
How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family, in-laws, or co-workers who are on a different wavelength to you? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're 'not good enough'? Do some of them think it's 'fun' to laugh at your views on life? Or perhaps they're just plain mean ELFs who know you're an easy mark?
If you dread family, workplace or other gatherings with people who are not in your zone, try these games and create a difference.
Enjoy the Silly Season.
Are you surrounded by people telling you what is true, what is fake, and what you should stake your life on?
Do you have family, friends, experts and random strangers standing on 360 degrees of any particular issue, presenting you with a dizzying array of information and persuasive propositions? Does any of that help? Or do you feel more confused and hemmed into a reality that doesn't feel quite right?
If you'd like to create space and ease when you're being bombarded by so many points of view, ask yourself about each one as it is presented to you "Is this light for me?" You know the breezy sense of space and weightlessness you have when everything is just right, and not the heavy, clunky feeling when something is not quite right and you sense a lie.
In other words, if you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not right for you.
What if none of these people were wrong? What if each of their points of view were 100% correct...for them? Just because something is right for someone else, doesn't mean it's right for you.
What do you have to do today, that you'd really rather not?
Clean the house? Do the shopping? Visit an unpleasant relative? Wash the car? Attend the weekly staff meeting? Write an essay? Sit an exam? Speak in public? Go to the dentist? Give your family news that you know they'll hate?
What makes you go '"Ugh, I'd rather not'" but you know you're going to do it anyway?
If you'd like to create more ease for yourself, ask "How can I enjoy the heck out of it?" Your point of view creates your reality, so if your point of view is "I don't enjoy this" then your are correct. You don't and you won't. There is no possibility it could turn out to be fun after all.
If your point of view is "What would it take for this to turn out to be more fun than I could ever imagine?" you create an invitation for that to occur.
To start, carry with you one thing that makes you laugh. A joke. A game. A book. An app. A photo. A wiggle in your walk. What else? Whatever that is, put it in your metaphorical back pocket and pull it out to entertain yourself when things are getting tough.
After a while you might fing you won't need it. Happiness is just a choice. What do you choose?
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