If you have something in your life you've been trying to change continually to no effect, ask "What do I love about this?"
How willing are you to change or let go of things you love? Not much? Not at all?
Are you ever distracted by a fear that you will never have it again (for example, a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all)?
When something is not working for you, first get clear on what parts of it you love.
Then you can ask other questions like "What would it take for me to find something else that would be an even greater contribution to my life?" and "What would it take for the parts of this that are not working for me, to change into something greater than I could imagine?"
When you become clear what you love about something -- and are willing to let it go, or demand that it change -- you will no longer be weighed down by it.
Instead, you will have the freedom to choose it, or not choose it. The reality is, you always have choice.
What do you do when things don't fit into the form and structure you've decided your life must have? When things vary or change? Like now, for example. Old normal gone. Enter "new normal."
Do you say “Oh that's interesting. It's different! It's something I never thought about! I wonder how much fun we can have? I wonder what new better and beyond normal can I help create?”
Or do you react with upset and say “This is strange/crazy/stupid. If they only did it this way life would be better! OMG how can I put up with this?”
How much stress or unhappiness do you have because you've decided things have to be a particular way?
If you'd like less stress and more happiness in your life, ask "What if form and structure had no significance?" Then
How? Ask more questions. There's a bunch here www.thedailyq.co you can start with.
Do you like helping people? Is is important to you? What is it about helping people you enjoy? Do you feel worthy? Does it make you feel valued and valuable? Do you want to save them from something?
What don't you enjoy? Are you frustrated when you give your best to someone but they don't seem to want it or appreciate it? Are you shocked or saddened when friends and family get angry or upset at you when you're simply trying to help them?
Do you find that no matter how much you help people, some simply never seem to change?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to help people. It's awesome. Empowering people to know they can change anything in their lives is a gift.
Just know that even when you do your best, people will choose what they choose, and it's got nothing to do with you.
People choose what they do because somewhere, somehow, they like it.
If you'd like to get clear about why and how you can help people with greater ease ask “What's the value of helping people?”
What if rather than being distracted by trying to help people who simply don't want your help, you asked "What other action could I take to create the changes I'd like?"
One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect.
The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, right person for the job, the right product, the right strategy. The One.
Why? It stops you looking for anything greater and blinds you to other possibilities.
So even if you think your work, business, relationship, strategy or life is ticking along very nicely now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?”
This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in the business of change. Questioning the people and strategies you think are the answer, can make you an industry leader and innovator.
And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before with the same people, it will be because that is still the most generative option. Not because you were stuck in a rut or blinded.
How often have you shared your excitement with someone about something you've recently discovered, only to have them pour cold water over you saying things like “Really? You do know that's crazy...?” or “You did what? Don't you know it's not going to work because of A, B C...Z?”, and even “OMG how stupid could you be???!!!”
How was that? Not much fun? What happened to your excitement and joy? Did you start doubting yourself, thinking that you really must be stupid? And definitely wrong?
Just because someone else doesn't get it, doesn't mean you don't. What if you knew a whole lot more than most people?
At least you know what's right and light for you. How would anyone else know that? So when you are enjoying yourself or have a great new idea, remind yourself you know that you know. And say “Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone.”
And if you do share your joy with someone and they don't get it, smile and thank them for their “interesting point of view.”
Then return to your fun and excitement. What if that could change the world?
Do you feel your life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? Or perhaps it bores you?
Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? How often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy, to do something for someone else?
Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when “things need to be done,” start by asking “What else could I add to my life?”
For example, what if you added a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or asked your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss to do more (or something!)?
Perhaps you've started a new project, or have a new target you'd like to reach (or surpass!?). What information/joy/playfulness/support/else could you add to your life to help generate this with ease, or something greater?
What if simply sprinkling a smile here and there throughout your day created more than you could possibly imagine?
Are you stuck? Has something or someone gone funky (just saying...)? Or perhaps you'd just like to generate more great stuff in your life?
Whenever and whatever you'd like to create change, start by asking a question.
Why? A question will invite you to see something you might not have been able (or willing) to see before and empower you.
An answer, decision, conclusion, or judgement will serve only to limit your field of vision and disempower you.
That's the aim of this service. So you'll have a bunch of the simplest, most effective questions within easy reach.
So today's question is for when you have a brain freeze and can't think of a question.
Ask “What question could I be asking here?”
It's so simple it might even make you smile, which is always good too.
Do you ever ask this question? Or do you usually wake up and think “How much do I have to get done today?”
Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you do get done, your To Do list never ends?
How does that feel? Light and breezy, or like a dead weight on your back?
What if you could create everything in your life – including all the normal day-to-day stuff like vacuuming, homeschooling the kids, or lobbying your elected representatives – and have fun at the same time?
You won't know till you ask for it, so start by asking “How much fun can I have today?”
What if by enjoying every moment of your life you could get more done than you'd ever imagined, and faster?
How much fun would that be? What if happiness was just a choice?
Do you know people who sometimes say or do not-so-nice things. Maybe you have some in your social media comments feed right now?
Does this upset you and leave you scratching your head, wondering why they would do or say that? Does it distract you from what you'd rather be doing?
Are they an ELF or a rattlesnake? An ELF is an evil little freak (or other word starting with F) who simply enjoys being mean for fun. A rattlesnake is designed by nature to bite you when it feels threatened. That's just what they are.
When you make them wrong and get sucked into the trauma and drama of what they do, they are controlling your life.
As long as you see them for what they are, in total allowance, you are empowered. Total allowance means you appreciate them as an ELF or rattlesnake. That's just who they are. Then you are free to enjoy their great parts.
So when people like this show up in your life, ask (silently) “Truth, is this an ELF or a rattlesnake?”
This will remind you that no matter what they say or do, it has nothing to do with you, and you don't need to buy it as real.
And remember, you when you recognise them, you can also choose to smile and walk away/hang up/delete/remove them from your life.
Got problems? Do you like them? Does it give you something to chat about with your friends, a puzzle to solve?
What if you didn't have problems?
What could you enjoy using the time and energy you now pour into problem solving?
If you'd like to find out, ask “What have I decided is a problem, which if I looked at it differently is something to be thankful for?”
For example, rather than being upset that you have to work from home, be grateful you're getting paid to work in your PJs. Rather than be frustrated about home schooling your kids, be grateful you can create a special time together before they grow up and never want to see you again. Rather than be angered that authorities are limiting your choices, be grateful for the chance to find out what really matters to you. Rather than wallowing in victimhood, be grateful that you still have choices and can create the world you'd really like if you choose.
So next time you find yourself complaining about something weighing you down, rather than trying to fix the problem (make it a better problem?), what if you looked at it differently and transformed it into something else?
How? Next question: "What action can I take?"
Sign up and we'll send you a question every day to crinkle your universe, make your smile, and help keep you in the zone. Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right.
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