What sort of people do you see everyday? Family? Friends? Coworkers? Students? Clients? Shop assistants?
How many of them are fun for you? Do they make you smile and feel great about your day? How many do you let drag you down by listening to their tales of woe?
Would you like more fun, light people in your life? If so, ask "What will it take for more fun people to come and play?"
When you ask, what comes to mind? Do you think you need to go somewhere else to meet new people?
What if all you needed was for YOU to be the difference? What if it were as easy as smiling, listening, and offering a kind word and a giggle here and there?
Just because someone was not fun 10 seconds ago, doesn't mean they can't choose it now. Are you willing to show them how easy it can be?
They're up in the air of course. Or are they? If you're standing on your head, then wouldn't your feet be on your head?
How many things in your life are like this? Beliefs based on assumptions? You've heard it from your family, your friends, your government, your doctors, or saw it on TV, so of course it's true! Right?
What if some, many, or even all your assumptions about how the world functions were different to what you thought? What if everything was the opposite of what it appeared to be and nothing was the opposite of what it appeared to be?
So next time you'd like clarity about something you have assumed must be certain, ask "If I'm standing on my head, where are my feet?"
You may find they are indeed in the air. Or they may be on your head. Maybe you checked them into the cloakroom. Or perhaps you never had feet to begin with?
How often do you feel swept away by the stream of people's trauma and drama? Dragged over the rapids and smashed against the rocks?
Or perhaps you're the salmon diligently swimming upstream, against the flow?
What if instead, you were the rock in the stream, allowing the water to pass one way and the salmon to pass the other?
What if you could see it all, without being the effect of it, so that you could choose what worked for you?
This is allowance, and questions will enable you to be in that state.
Like to be the rock? Ask yourself "What if I be the question?"
Do you ever have those moments when your computer just won't work? It dies for no apparent reason? You're just about to buy something online, or give a presentation, or send an email and KAPUT..
It could be anything. The hardware, the software, the connection, the (non) service provider, or maybe you kicked the cord out of the wall?
What if there was nothing wrong with the sudden non-functioning of your electronics? What if the Gods in the Machinery were letting you know that doing something else would be more rewarding?
What if by not buying that item online now, you got a discount later? What if by not sticking to the Powerpoint slideshow your presentation was so much better? What if by not sending that email you go the result you actually desired?
So next time your electronics go CLUNK, ask "Computer, what are you trying to tell me?" and consider what else you might choose instead.
What does your life feel like right now? Light? Heavy? Fun? Serious? Energetic? Lethargic? Joyous? Miserable? Frivolous? Exhausting? Add your own words, image or feelings to describe your life as it is now.
Got them? Sometimes it helps to close your eyes to do it.
Now ask yourself "Is this the life I truly desire?"
If your life is not exactly what you'd like, then do it again, first asking "If time, money and other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose for my life, living and reality?"
Now get a sense of the energy of the life you'd truly like. Add words, images, smells, feelings, sensations too if that helps.
Are two images the same, or different?
What if you carried with you the energy of the life you'd truly like, and chose consciously people and things that matched it, regardless of your normal logical pros and cons?
Could that make it easier for you to create the life you'd truly like?
Do you know what you'd really like in life? What you truly desire?
Have you ever allowed yourself to consider it? Or have you always been/ done/ chosen what others have told you is The Right Thing?
If your life is not going quite how you'd like it, maybe you've been choosing for others, rather than for you?
So how do you know what you'd really like? Easy. Ask"What do I truly desire?" and see what comes to mind.
It might not be anything that you've ever acknowledged before. Or maybe you were told it would not be: appropriate/ realistic/ possible/ safe/ healthy/ normal/ sensible/ or any one of 1000s of words people like to use to control you.
Are you willing to look at what you'd really like now?
Once you can see your true desires, then you can invite them into your life. You just need to ask.
Have you been asking questions but things don't seem to be changing the way you'd hoped?
What sort of questions are you asking? Do they sound like this "What's it going to take for my red sports car/ young, blond, sexy date/ prestigious, highly regarded, well paying job to show up/ people to recognise me and what I'm doing?"
Are these really questions? Or are they conclusions with question marks attached? In other words, you've already decided what you want: a red sports car/ young, blond, sexy date/ prestigious, highly regarded, well paying job/ public recognition and appreciation.
So if you think you know how to ask a question, but you're not seeing the change you'd like, check your questions by asking "Am I asking a question, or a statement with a question mark attached?"
If you discover you're in conclusion, simply ask a real question.
Are you stuck in a rut with someone? Your insignificant other? A parent? Your boss? A co-worker? A celebrity or authority figure? Or even a friend?
Do you sense something is not quite right between you and them, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to make it work?
What have you decided this person means to you? Have you made them the answer to something?
For example, have you made your boy/girlfriend The One? Are your parents proof that you're The Good Child? Is your boss The Enemy around who you rally with your co-workers? Is a co-worker The Unfair Competition to excuse your own uninspired performance? Is the celebrity or authority figure The Hero Coming to Save the Day? Is your friend ...... [fill in their role and it's value here]?
If you'd like to be free from these limits and to see people for who they truly are — rather than what you've decided they are -- ask "What have I made this person mean to me?"
Then acknowledge it, and say farewell (to the rut).
If you'd like to continue having that person in your life, ask another question.
Have you ever been stuck not knowing what to do? You've got two or more great (or not so great) options and you just don't know which one to go with?
Are you frozen by the idea that you might make the wrong choice? Have you made this choice the answer to your life? And if you get it wrong, people will say 'there you go again, making no-good choices' and your life will be over?
Is that true? What if there were no wrong choices? What if no choice was the answer to your life? What if a choice was quite simply that: a choice. A choice that is good for 10 seconds, and then you get to choose again.
How does that feel? A bit lighter? Can you choose now?
So go on, remind yourself: a choice is just a choice and you can do it every 10 seconds. When you're stuck, ask "What if I just chose, dammit?"
Then choose. Repeat.
What's your point of view about magic? That it's voodoo and a lie? Or that it's a bit of a laugh for kids? And wow...what if you really could do things like Harry Potter and X-men? Wouldn't that be fun!
Do you ever have wonderful people or things show up in your life with ease and by surprise? Is that like magic?
Does it make you smile?
What if magic were simply things appearing from a source you couldn't see and didn't yet understand? What if magic was simply science you couldn't yet explain? Like if only just now you saw fire for the first time?
If you'd like to invite more magic into your life and create things you thought impossible, ask "What magic can I ask for today?"
And then ask.
How many times a day do you hear yourself saying "I'd like to be/ do/ have X but I can't/ shouldn't/ because of X? Once, 10, 100 times a day?
Sure you're clever. You've analyzed the thing from all angles and worked out exactly why you can't/ shouldn't. And you're not wrong. When you decide something is not possible, you're absolutely right. It's not.
Would you like more possibility in life? Would you like to be/ do/ have all those things you've decided are not possible?
If so, ask "What if I stopped being my greatest limitation and started living?"
Think of this as a gentle slap on the cheek to remind you all things are possible. Then ask another question, or three hundred, and create your life as you'd really like.
Do you ever find yourself talking about a particular topic to anyone who'll listen? Something you'd like people to notice and agree with you about? It could be about the state of the nation, the office, or people's houses, clothes or bodies? The Latest Crisis of the Week?
When you do that, notice your energy. Do you talk about it lightly as a question with an interesting point of view energy, and then get on with the fun of life?
Or do you sense a heaviness, a stickiness which distracts you from being joyful?
When you say interesting and get on with it, you are being aware and in allowance of it. When you get gummed up with its heaviness, you are the effect of it.
So if you'd like to have uninterrupted access to joy in life -- no matter what is going on in the world -- next time you notice yourself repeatedly thinking, saying or doing something, ask "Am I in allowance, or the effect of this?"
If you'd like to change something -- not simply talk about it -- ask more questions, like "What is this? Can I change it? If so how?" and "What action can I take"?
How do you shop for clothes? Are you a bargain hunter? Do you rely on a friend, shop assistant, or internet influencer to tell you what to buy?
Do you consider what other people will approve? For example, it's the latest fashion that your friends will admire, or its safe-conservative that your workplace will accept?
Do you ever ask your body?
How does your approach work for you? Is your wardrobe full of clothes you absolutely adore? Are your clothes a joy to wear and make you feel happy all over? Do they make you smile and strut your stuff?
Or do you shuffle through life feeling slightly uncomfortable and dressed not quite right?
For fun, next time you go shopping or open your wardrobe, ask "Body, what would you like to wear?"Notice what draws your hand or eyes. Touch it. Notice how your skin feels.
You'll know when your body wants to wear something. And if nothing draws you, keep on moving until you find something that does...even if it's your birthday suit...
Have you ever been told you're too loud, too active, too energetic, too happy, too full of life and could you TURN IT DOWN or PUT A LID ON IT?
Do you feel bad about it? Do you feel wrong?
What if there were nothing wrong with you?
What if some people simply don't get your energy, your exuberant expression of life?
What if your energy and exuberance is an amazing capacity, a phenomenal talent? A gift the world needs?
If you'd like to remind yourself that your energy and exuberance is not wrong, and that some people will simply not get you and become angry or annoyed, ask yourself "How many people can I wake up with my exuberance today?"
Then smile and dance on.
How often do you get stuck in life? A lot, a little or not at all? Do you ever get into a cranky pants rage or spiral into a frenzy of anxiety? Is that fun for you?
If not, and you'd prefer to have total freedom to see and walk around such roadblocks — to be able to change anything that's not working for you in life — start by asking one of these questions.
1. What if I had infinite, free choice?
2. What if everything were just an interesting point of view?
3. If I had 10 second to choose the rest of my life, what would I choose?
4. What question could I ask?
5. What if form and structure had no significance?
6. Am I in judgement?
7. What does this add to my life?
8. What's the value of competition?
9. What if I didn't buy the story?
10. What am I excluding here?
The reality is, you always have choice.
Is your life full of ease, joy and abundance?
Not so much? No surprise given how many people seem to enjoy telling you that life must be hard, no fun, and a knock-down-drag-out fight to the death for scarce and dwindling resources. Not to mention the Fear and Terror of The Plague.
What if that were not true? If you'd like to find out what else is possible, add this daily mantra to your wake-up routine.
"All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory."
Saying this will remind you that how you function in life is your choice. And, if you choose, you can function from ease and joy and glory (exuberant expression and abundance) no matter what is going on.
Even when 'things go wrong' you can experience them with ease and create any change you desire.
It's ALL of life: the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Everything is included and nothing as to be a difficulty.
The reality is, you always have a choice.
Are you compelled to always try your hardest to win, be right, better than, or different to anyone else? Or at least not to appear to lose or to be wrong?
How's that working for you? Is it fun?
Or do you feel trapped in a race for which you don't seem equipped and are never enough? Are you frozen by the fear of failure? Do you become depressed when you don't meet other people's standards or expectations?
Are you the same as anyone else? No. So how can an apple and a nightingale compete? Only by both becoming something else that they're not.
So if you feel limited, frustrated, frozen or depressed by the rules of a race that doesn't exist ask "What's the value of competition?"
Then ask "What is the greatest contribution I can be to my life, family, business and communities?" That's the generative kind of competition, which is all about being more of you.
Do you have lots of great ideas for business and life in general? Do you get enthusiastic and pour loads of energy into them, but nothing seems to happen?
Then to top it off, someone ELSE comes out with exactly the same idea a little later and it's a hit! Does that get you down?
What if you were just too quick for the rest of the world? What if you were having ideas that are perfect for one, five or even ten years in the future?
So when you get a great idea, ask "Now or in the future?" Then notice what feels light: now / in the future. Remember, if it's light, it's right for you.
If it's in the future, write down your idea in a Special Ideas Notebook and re-visit it from time to time.
This is a great way to nurture and contribute energy to your ideas when the time is right.
What have you made the answer to your life?
Relationship? "When I find The One I'll be happy"
Money? "When I have $XXX in the bank I'll be secure"
Work? "When I get that job my parents will see I'm successful"
Happiness? "When people admire my work I'll feel respected"
Will these things in themselves make you feel happy, secure, validated or successful? Or does your point of view create your reality?
If you didn't have the point of view you lacked something, would you feel dissatisfied and unhappy?
So when you're feeling less than, or dissatisfied with your life as it is, and you hear yourself repeating "When I have X, I'll be Y" or "If only I had X, I'd be Y" ask "What am I making having X about?"
Then notice what the real target of your desire (Y) is and ask "What will it take to be Y now?"
Did you grow up with 'the best' always kept in the cupboard? Were you made to justify why you should be allowed to wear your 'best clothes,' eat from the 'special dinner set,' or sit in the 'good room'? Did you live in terror that if you in fact used 'the best,' something bad might happen?
What happened when you grew up and bought something special for yourself?
This is what I* did. Some years ago, I ordered a high quality hand-made penny whistle. It cost me $350; it had great tone and was a pleasure to play. But, for the nine years after I bought my special whistle, I never used it. Whenever I played with music groups, I usually took my $15 whistle. On special occasions I took my $40 whistle.
I never took my 'good whistle.' It stayed in its case in the cupboard. I was afraid that if I took it to play at a concert or dance, something might happen to it. Sound familiar?
Then last year — 2020 — I started playing Scottish and Irish airs on my neighbourhood street corners in the evening. I took a folding chair, walked from block to block, stopped to play a couple of tunes, and then moved on to the next corner.
It was nothing special. I was playing for whomever wanted to come outdoors, or stand on the porch and listen. What was different? I simply made the choice to play my best for everyone, and so I brought out my "best whistle" for the first time.
It was then I realised that I had never played my best; I had hidden it away for nine years, afraid something bad would happen. Then I wondered what other great bits of me I had been hiding.
What have you been hiding? If you'd like to find out ask “What am I saving my best for?"
What if you didn't need anyone's permission, or a special occasion? What if you could simply open the cupboard and share your best? What contribution would that be?
*Thanks to John C for this question and anecodote. Do you have a question or a situation? Send them in to share.
Got clutter in your life? Are some things - work tasks, relationships, or actual stuff in the corner - piling up and weighing you down?
How often do you have on to habits, people and things, that you know deep down you'd really rather let go?
How much of your must-hang-onto-this comes from what you think other people will say? Obligations you imagine you have that may not be true?
What if you delegated the task? What if you created space in your life for people who made you smile? What if you reintroduced yourself to the corners of your house? What could you create as your life if you no longer cluing to things that you don't truly desire?
If you'd like to de-clutter and create more space, ask "I am hanging on to this for what reason?"
If it feels light to let it go, thank it and send it off on a new adventure with consciousness.
What does success mean to you? Getting into that school? Getting that job? Or that person? Or that house? Having a cool sports car? Or a millions dollars in the bank? Or a beach view apartment? Or an impressive title?
Nothing wrong with having a clear idea about what would be fun for you. The question is, did you select these things because they would be fun for you?
Or did you select these things because you decided - or someone else told you - that they would show other people you were successful? And that until you had those things, you must work long and hard, and make sacrifices, including not doing the things you really enjoy?
If you're not enjoying life right now, ask "How have I defined success?" and get clear on what is driving you.
What if you drove yourself and defined success in ways that worked for you? For example, "What will it take for me to bounce out of bed every morning, smiling and inspired by everything I do and everyone I meet?"
You can of course add "...with some fun, cool wheels to get me around, or something greater?"
What are your points of view about study, including about going to school, college, or university and about learning anything in general?
Any of these? That it's hard, will take a long time and lots of money? That you're not smart or diligent enough? That you shouldn't rest, sleep, or enjoy yourself because you should be studying?
How many vested interests are making study hard for you? Do teachers want you to outshine them? Do after school tutoring businesses want you to hire them? And other students? Do they want you to see your talent?
Are you willing to consider a different possibility? If so, ask “What if study were easy and fun?”
What if you approached study with the energy of insatiable curiosity about things that inspire you?
What if you were excited about learning new ways to expand your natural talents? Would study be easier, and more fun and rewarding then?
Are you frustrated or upset by anyone in your life? Is someone driving you crazy? Are they too loud, too bossy, too flaky, too up-down-turn-around, too...add your pet peeve here.
Would you like more ease in your life when you're around them, assuming you have to, or would like to be around them?
If so, ask “What am I grateful to them for?” and acknowledge them for that.
There will always be at least one thing, if not more. Parents who drive you nuts, and are always there to help you with your kids. A friend who is predictably unpredictable, and has shown you people function differently. A lover who picks insane fights, and is great at....um....other things.
When you acknowledge someone for who they are, and are grateful for their great bits, you are free and empowered to make the most of the great bits, without being at the effect of the rest.
What if your body was a whole lot smarter than you ever gave it credit for?
What if its aches and pains were telling you much more than what vitamins and minerals you need? You know the feeling of heartbreak? It's a very real physical ache. People have died from it. What about other physical symptoms? Find out by asking“Body, who or what
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