Do you sometimes do things that, well, just don't work out? In fact, you create complete rubbish?
When you do this, do you default to how bad, wrong, terrible and awful you are? Yes, you're a failure, just like they always said you were.
How does that feel? Does it help you at all?
Probably not. So what if instead, you acknowledged that you can be an awesome creator of rubbish.
Say “Gee, I'm cute, but not bright!” Then laugh and ask “What's right about this I'm not getting?” and “What else is possible?”
If you can create magnificent rubbish, you can undoubtedly create magnificent magnificence too. You just have to ask and take notice.
What's the value of making yourself wrong anyway?
It's much more fun to be Cute Not Bright.
Are you frustrated or upset by anyone in your life? Is someone driving you crazy? Are they too loud, too bossy, too flaky, too up-down-turn-around, too...add your pet peeve here.
Would you like more ease in your life when you're around them, assuming you have to, or would like to be around them?
If so, ask “What am I grateful to them for?” and acknowledge them for that.
There will always be at least one thing, if not more. Parents who drive you nuts, and are always there to help you with your kids. A friend who is predictably unpredictable, and has shown you people function differently. A lover who picks insane fights, and is great at....um....other things.
When you acknowledge someone for who they are, and are grateful for their great bits, you are free and empowered to make the most of the great bits, without being at the effect of the rest.
What if your body was a whole lot smarter than you ever gave it credit for?
What if its aches and pains were telling you much more than what vitamins and minerals you need? You know the feeling of heartbreak? It's a very real physical ache. People have died from it. What about other physical symptoms? Find out by asking“Body, who or what
Do you like helping people? Is is important to you? What is it about helping people you enjoy? Do you feel worthy? Does it make you feel valued and valuable? Do you want to save them from something?
What don't you enjoy? Are you frustrated when you give your best to someone but they don't seem to want it or appreciate it? Are you shocked or saddened when friends and family get angry or upset at you when you're simply trying to help them?
Do you find that no matter how much you help people, some simply never seem to change?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to help people. It's awesome. Empowering people to know they can change anything in their lives is a gift.
Just know that even when you do your best, people will choose what they choose, and it's got nothing to do with you.
People choose what they do because somewhere, somehow, they like it.
If you'd like to get clear about why and how you can help people with greater ease ask “What's the value of helping people?”
What if rather than being distracted by trying to help people who simply don't want your help, you asked "What other action could I take to create the changes I'd like?"
How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result?
What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them?
Or are they simply distractions that keep you from creating what you'd truly like?
If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business, life and change you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?”
This will clear such distractions so you see what you'd really like to choose. Then ask "What action can I take?"
Are you willing to have that much freedom?
One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect.
The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, the right person for the job, the right product, the right strategy. The One.
Why? It stops you looking for anything greater and blinds you to other possibilities.
So even if you think your work, business, relationship, strategy or life is working very nicely right now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?”
This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in the business of change. Questioning the people and strategies you think are the answer, can make you an industry leader and innovator.
And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before with the same people, it will be because that is still the most generative option. Not because you were stuck in a rut or blinded.
Do you feel your life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? Or perhaps it bores you?
Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? How often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy, to do something for someone else?
Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when 'things need to be done,' start by asking “What else could I add to my life?”
For example, what if you added a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or asked your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss, technology to do more (or something!)?
Perhaps you've started a new project, or have a new target you'd like to reach, or surpass?. What information/joy/playfulness/support/else could you add to your life to help generate this with ease, or something greater?
What if simply sprinkling a smile here and there throughout your day created more than you could possibly imagine?
Are you stuck? Is something or someone not working out the way you'd like? Or perhaps you'd just prefer to generate something even better in your life?
Whenever you'd like to create change, start by asking a question.
Why? A question creates an opening for something that you might not have been able, or willing to see before, to come into view. A question also empowers you to shift out from wherever you're been stuck. .
An answer, decision, conclusion, or judgement serves only to limit your field of vision and disempower you.
This is the aim of The Daily Q; providing you a bunch of the simplest, most effective questions within easy reach.
So today's question is for when you have a brain freeze and can't think of a question.
Ask yourself “What question could I ask here?”
It's so simple it might even make you smile, which is always good too.
To change something, first get clear on exactly what you 'd like to change by asking “What is this?”
Next ask “Would I like to change it?” To change something, you must truly desire it and be willing to do whatever it takes.
Then you can ask “If so, how?”
Can you ever change someone else? No. The only thing you can change is you and your points of view. For example, do you get upset and fight back when friends, family or perfect strangers reprimand, bully or gaslight you about something you say or do? How well does that work out?
So what else is possible? Great question. When you ask a question, possibilities will show up. For example, in this case you could
- walk away and stop talking to them; they can't reprimand, bully or gaslight you if you're not around
- put your own points of view away, push all your barriers down, smile and ask them genuine questions about their points of view; you never know, if you ask the right questions with genuine interest they might learn something new...and so might you, or
- notice your buttons being pushed and smile; consider your friends, family and even perfect strangers are cute for trying to save you from your idiotic ideas/actions, saying “Thanks so much. Tell me more", then shut up, listen, nod and listen some more till they run out of steam.
Remember, just because you listen to their stories, doesn't mean you have to buy them.
What have you decided you must keep being/ doing/ having, no matter what? You made a decision, so you'll stick to it even if it kills you. After all, that's the right way to live, isn't it?
Maybe. Or would you prefer another option to killing yourself to prove you're right?
What if instead, you created your life by consciously choosing things that contributed to your life in ways you enjoy?
How? Ask “If I had 10 seconds to live the rest of my life, what would I choose?”
This is not about making random changes for change's sake. The question is designed to remind you what science says: this is a free-will universe and you have choice.
You may end up choosing the same thing continuously every 10 seconds, as long as it works.
And if one day it doesn't, you'll know and you can choose something else that does.
What would you like to have show up in your life?
A great new job, a successful business, smart staff, more customers, reliable suppliers, an investor, money, greater ease, less stress, better health, more fun? For life to become better than the normal you had before the fear and panic? Something else?
Whatever that is, invite it into your life by asking "What's it going to take for X to show up?"
Be aware of the specific details of your question. For example, if you ask for the 'perfect job,' you may create a job based on other people's expectations of perfect, including how long and hard you have to work, doing whatever your boss says even if it makes no sense, taking sides in office politics, and so on.
So instead, be clear on what you'd like by asking, for example “What's it going to take for [a rewarding job that I enjoy and allows me to extend my talents, with flexible, fun, creative people] to show up, that would contribute to my life more than I can imagine, or something greater?”
Make sure that when you ask, you let go of any conclusions you might have made about what it will look like, and how it will show up, and be willing to receive it when it does. You never know what might happen when you ask a question.
Have you been asking questions but things don't seem to be changing in the way you'd hoped?
What sort of questions are you asking? Do they sound like this “What do you know about X?” or “What's it going to take for people to get that I know all about X and recognise my worth?”
Are these really questions?
Or are they conclusions with question marks attached?
In other words, you've decided what you want (to tell people about X), and that without people listening to you about X you have no worth.
So if you're not getting the change you'd truly like, check your questions. Ask “Is this a question, or is it a statement with a question mark attached?” (also known as "Am I being a superior asshole?")
Then ask a real question.
Do you ever think yourself into a knotty ball of confusion? Listing pros and cons, researching 'true' and 'false,' collecting background info to analyse to death from all angles, trying to figure out what to do? To get it RIGHT. Whether it's which subject to study, job to choose, car to buy, relationship to pursue, or what choice to make about you and your family's health?
Do you enjoy this process? Is it as fast and easy as you'd like? How does it usually work out?
If you don't enjoy it and would prefer a faster, easier – and dare I say it more reliable for you – approach, next time you find yourself embarking on a thought journey into the abyss ask “If I didn't think about this, what would I know?”
You know those moments when you just know something? It feels right and light to you, even though others think you're crazy?
Only you can really know what is right for you. Are you willing to trust you more? Life might become a whole lot easier.
What do you do when you get stuck on something? When creating your life is not the ease and joy you know it can be?
- ask a question
- notice the possibilities
- make a choice
- have an awareness
If not, next time you get stuck, ask yourself "What step is this?"
When you're stuck, you might simply have forgotten to take a step. It doesn't matter which it is. Every journey begins with just one.
Questions create possibilities. Choice creates awareness. Repeat.
And don't forget you can always side-step obstacles that are in the way. How? Ask "What if I had total freedom?" and then start by using any one of the questions listed there.
Have you ever been completely, 100 per cent, absolutely certain about something, only to find one day that everything you held to be true, was in fact not true?
Like your 'till death do I part' loving partner, falling in love with someone else and walking out? Like a highly esteemed charity exposed as having committed crimes against children for centuries? Like a trusted authority urging you to use something, praising it as good for you, when actually it's very, very bad, like asbestos, DDT, smoking, or thalidomide to name just a few examples?
What else have you experienced that shattered your reality?
If you'd prefer not to experience that stomach sickening wrench of cognitive dissonance again, next time you find yourself completely, 100 per cent, absolutely certain about something, ask yourself "Are my eyes wide shut?"
This question is a simple reminder that you may be looking, but not seeing something hiding in plain sight. And remember, what's light is right for you.
Are you ever confronted with things that don't make sense, or by people who seem to be living in a parallel reality?
Does it stress you out, or make you sick from worry? How angry, upset, or hurt do you get?
Do you know everything about everything in the universe? Probably not (yet at least). So rather than causing yourself discomfort, damage, or dis-ease, next time when you're confronted by someone or something that does not fit within your view of the world, ask "What is this teaching me?"
Then ask questions and find out more about it.
You may end up holding the same point of view you had before. Or you may change your point of view to match theirs. Or you may change your point of view in a completely different way.
Whatever the outcome, your questions will create new possibilities and expand your awareness.
What's the difference between feeling comfortable and uncomfortable?
When you're comfortable, what do you do? Do you strive with intensity to create your life greater than it is? Or do you do settle into maintaining your comfort?
When you're uncomfortable, what do you do? Do you strive with intensity to create your life greater than it is? Or do you do settle into complaining about not being comfortable?
If you'd like to harness the intense energy of discomfort to create your life greater than it is, ask yourself "What if being uncomfortable was my best friend?"
Are you willing to acknowledge being uncomfortable as an awareness that your life can be greater?
What if when you're feeling highly uncomfortable you said "ah, just a little further to go!" and smile knowing that you're almost to the point of becoming something greater than you've ever been, and continue to choose it, ask questions, and take action?
You'll know when you go beyond the uncomfortable place, as you'll suddenly be totally comfortable and everything will be bigger and better than it ever was before. You can settle into that. Or you can continue to create more. All just choices.
You can have both a judgement and an awareness about anything, positive, negative, and everything in between and beyond.
So what's the difference? A judgement will cement your point of view, limit possibilities, and solidify the existence of whatever you're judging.
Awareness is just that: awareness. You can see what is, and then when you ask a question about it, you create possibilities.
A judgement will have a positive or negative charge on it, while an awareness will have no charge at all. Another difference is that judgement requires time, while awareness is instantaneous.
And you can always ask yourself "Is this a judgement, or an awareness?"
Do you have something in your world right now that you consider right/wrong?
If it's wrong, are you trying to fix it and make it right? If it's right, are you trying hard to not let it go wrong?
How much freedom do you sense when you do this? Does your judgement of things being right/wrong expanding your possibilities or limiting them?
If you'd like greater possibility to create beyond what you can imagine, ask "What if right and wrong were just interesting point of view?"
Then next time to find yourself agreeing/aligning (right) or resisting/reaction (wrong) to something, instead say "Mmmm, this is interesting. What else is possible here?"
What could you create by stepping out of judgement and into the allowance of interesting point of view?.
What's going on in your life right now? Do you have something you'd like to change?
Whatever that is, have you asked lots of questions, done the research, poked into every corner, talked to a million people, and taken action?
Where did you get? Are you inspired, energised and creating the change you're seeking?
Or are you confused, demotivated, and stuck feeling helpless and not knowing what to do next?
If you're stuck, ask yourself "What if this wasn't an answer? What if this was a possibility?"
When you ask a question, you'll get a response. If you make the response an "answer," you'll only create a finite limitation.
What if nothing was an "answer" and everything was a possibility? What change could you create then?
How much of your day do you spend judging things? Never, sometimes or constantly?
What's judgement? Any point of view you have about something being good/bad or right/wrong is a judgement. You know, when you think "Oh, that's no good" or "If only people would think/do this instead?" Or whenever someone else says something and you agree and align, or resist and reaction, you are in judgement.
There is nothing wrong with judging things, if that's fun for you. Be aware, however, that judging will only serve to distract you from being present in every moment and so limit your possibilities.
If you'd like to find out what is possible beyond the limitation of judgement, ask yourself "What if I judged nothing?" Nothing includes you and everyone else.
Then no matter what you or anyone else does, says, or thinks, smile and say to yourself "Interesting point of view" in total allowance.
After a while, you will become interesting point of view where you can see all possibilities, receive everything, and create the life you desire, free from the polarity of judgement.
How? Follow the energy, choose, notice what you create/shows up, then choose again. Repeat.
How easily are you able to share your ideas with people with out them laughing at you/walking away/rolling their eyes/calling you crazy? Do you often get into heated discussions where the other person point-blank refuses to listen to you?
Would you prefer greater ease with talking to people about things that you're interested in? If so, ask yourself "Am I willing to tell people only what they can hear?"
Then next time you start a conversation with someone, instead of blowing their head off with the godzillion amazing things you know, ask them a question like "So what's new and interesting for you?" Then listen and wait until they ask you a question.
When they do — with kindness, allowance and awareness — ask them another question about something you're interested in, such as "Right now I'm working on X. Have you had anything to do with that?" Then listen and wait until they ask you another question.
Telling people what they can hear from kindness, allowance and awareness is different from not wanting to be judged for what you say. It's a gentle way of being that honours what they can receive and allows their head to stay in one piece. And they may even just hear something you have to say.
How many people do you meet who have such fixed points of view that they are never able to see beyond what they have decided is true, even when it smacks them in the face?
If you'd like someone to see beyond their self-imposed limitations, ask yourself "What wedgie could I ask?" A wedgie is a question that creates discomfort in someone's universe and is designed to get the other person to ask a question.
For example, when you notice someone has fixed points of view about something, instead of being triggered, trying to prove, or defending your own points of view by giving them too much information, make them uncomfortable by asking a wedgie.
For example, in total allowance say "Interesting. What if everything was the opposite of what it appears to be?" or "What if there was something about that situation that is a lie?"
Then stop talking. Sometimes you'll even need to let them sit with your question for weeks, until the discomfort becomes unbearable and they have to return and ask a question.
Questions create possibilities and now you have a tiny space to invite them to see different realities. Be gentle. Listen to them in total allowance and ask them lots more questions.
How many people do you see fighting everyday? In the world, your neighbourhood, your city, your country, and across the planet? People focused entirely on using logic, facts, science, persuasion, coercion, bribery, blackmail and trickery to have everyone agree that their point of view is right, and to condemn that all other points of view are wrong?
Pretty much everyone, all the time, right?
What does this create for you, for the world? Peace, joy, happiness, and the life you'd truly like? Or does it create endless fighting and limitation? Could the ultimate toxic waste on the planet be the anger, rage, fury and hate that people deliver to each other daily?
What change could you create if you functioned from allowance, where everything is an "interesting point of view" with no agreement or alignment (positive polarity) or resistance and reaction (negative polarity)?
When everything is just an interesting point of view, you have the freedom to create choice in your life, in the world.
Freedom to create choice by being in allowance is the most valuable thing on the planet. Are you willing to be it? If you'd like to find out, ask "Am I willing to be the most valuable thing on the planet?"
Then every time anyone says anything or seeks to drag you into a fight through alignment and agreement or resistance and reaction, smile and say "interesting point of view."
Breath, then make a choice and ask a question.
Do you ever feel weird or wrong? You're not quite sure what it is, but something is just not quite right.
Or when everything in your life seems to be going along really well, but then takes a dive. Or when things start, then stop, then start, then stop over and over, keeping you stuck and going no where?
If so, ask "What am I aware of that I don't want to be aware of?"
Whatever comes to mind, notice it, ask another question and make another choice. Asking a question and making a choice creates awareness. not an answer.
What if you considered your life to be a constant creation of ease, joy and abundance, rather than a quest for a perfect answer?
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