How old are you now? How old do you feel?
What do people tell you about age? About what will happen when you turn 13, 20, 30, 40, 50 60 and beyond?
Does every decade come with a set of rules that people tell you you'll follow: your body will change; you'll have mood swings; you'll be obsessed with sex; you'll want children; you'll be obsessed with sex; you'll get tired and fat; you'll lose interest in sex; you'll grow more and more wrinkly, weak, frail, confused and sick.
Have you ever see people that naturally look and act years, even decades younger than their physical age? And the reverse? So you know either option is possible. What makes the difference? And what if it were possible for you to choose your preferred option?
Like to find out? If so, ask "What if age did not mean what they say?" Then notice the stories other people like to tell you about what age means, and choose to listen to yourself — your body — about what you and it would prefer.
Do you still feel 5-18 years old? Then invite your body to feel that energy too and be it.
Do you sense the world is more complicated than you like? Do you feel compelled to make things more complex than you think necessary?
When you do a presentation at work, do you make it the simplest, cleanest, to-the-point version? Or do you feel obliged to add all the bells and whistles? When you write an essay for school, do you feel you have to include the most difficult sounding words and concepts? When you find people you like, do you try to impress them with how much you know?
Nothing wrong with complex if it's fun, easy, feels light, and works for you. And if it doesn't work, ask "What if simple were right for me?" Are you willing to be aware of what works for you — simple, complex, or in between — and choose that?
How much fun could you have by functioning elegantly: generating the greatest result with the least effort?
Have you ever had something go majorly "wrong" in life? What you'd call a "disaster"?
Like a leaking underground water pipe that rang up a ten thousand dollar bill without you knowing, only then to cost you a few more thousand to dig out and replace? Like failing an interview or exam that was going to make or break your life? Or twisting your ankle in the final of your own Olympic equivalent? What was your disaster?
Look now at your current situation. What is your "disaster?" Having your business shut down over night by the government, with no clear idea about when it could re-open? Being shut off from your friends and family, unable to move freely until you-don't-know-when? What else?
Is a disaster what happens, or is it how you receive what happens?
If you'd prefer not to suffer, but rather be aware of how you can harness change — even dramatic sudden change — to create new preferred possibilities, ask "What if this is better than I can imagine?"
Then with no expectation, keep smiling and breathing and ask another question. You never know what you can create until you ask. And at the very least, your smile will side-step stress and frown lines.
How much time do you spend second guessing whether you'll fail at something or not? Do you say "I'd like to do it, but I probably won't be any good" or "I'll give it a go, but I'm sure I won't do very well?" Some of this may be because you think you shouldn't big-note yourself.
How much of it do you end up believing?
There is nothing wrong with this point of view. Be aware, that your point of view creates your reality. So if you think you'll be no good, then you're absolutely correct.
If you'd like to create a different reality — an expansive, can-do reality full of possibility, then start with a different point of view. Start by asking "What if success were the only option?"
What is the definintion of success? That's up to you. How have you defined success? What if by being clear on what you'd truly like as your life and living, then success IS the only option?
Have you ever seen an empty block of land, that's just been cleared for building? When there are no trees, no plants, no apparent life at all?
What happens after a few days? Do weeds start to appear? And after a few weeks, do you need another clearing? What about a few months, or even years? Has the whole place been completely covered again?
The nature of the planet is strong and, like this, tells you that no matter what you do, IT WILL SURVIVE. With, or without you.
What is an earthquake? A tsunami? A bushfire? A mudslide? A flood? A drought? What is the planet telling you that you're not hearing?
Would you like to enjoy the planet a little longer? If so, ask "What does the planet require of me?" Take notice of what comes to mind and contribute that, no matter how tiny or seemingly insignificant.
If you find it hard to see what comes to mind, you can always simply start with a smile and happy thoughts.
What applies to you today? Pick any and all of these.
It's my birthday; I had the most amazing cup of coffee; the sky is clear, blue and has fluffy clouds; I'm feeling fit and healthy; I hung out with fun, fabulous people (even if it was online); someone helped me out; I got what I wanted done at work/home; I got my study assignment done on time; I had a delicious sleep; I had a mani/ pedi/ backrub; my favourite shop was having a sale; I helped someone and they smiled; I saw a rerun of my favourite show; my team scored surprising points; I (almost, really!!) got a hole-in-one; the steak was cooked just right; I had a house full of screaming kids; I didn't have a house full of screaming kids; I laughed till I cried; I cried till I laughed; I felt alive; I felt free.
None of these apply to you? Then ask "What can I celebrate today?" and think of ONE thing that you saw/ did/ experienced/ created today and CELEBRATE your life.
What do you think you can't do? Speak publicly? Learn another language? Speak publicly in another language? Run a business? Lead a team? Understand the law? Change things that are not working for you? Trust what you know in the face of opposition?
Do you tell yourself you're afraid of something? Making a mistake? People laughing at you? Failure? Ruining your life forever and dying alone and poor?
Is any of that true? Or are they all just interesting points of view you bought from someone, somewhere, sometime?
It doesn't matter where your points of view came from, how well do they serve you? Do they help you create the life you'd really like? If not, ask "What's the value of saying I can't do it?"
If there's no value, you are hanging on to that point of view for what reason? What if instead you asked another questions, like "What will it take for me to do this with ease?"
Do you have someone sick or suffering in your life? Are you surrounded by well meaning family and friends, and highly trained medical professionals all telling you how it's going to get worse and worse?
What happens to plants when you direct negative thoughts, words and actions at them? Science shows us they wither and die. Are people any different?
What if rather than contributing like this to someone's deterioration by adding your voice to the throng, you asked the person suffering "What contribution could I be to you?" Then listen and honour the person by being that, even if it's just to hold their hand and smile.
You are not expecting a miracle recovery, even if it's possible and could occur. You are honouring the person and offering them energy, space, allowance, and possibility.
What different could you be by contributing that?
What fixed points of view do you have about who and what you have to be/ do/ have/ think in life?
For example, I have to get married because my mother expects it. I can't take a year off school to travel because my father wouldn't like it. I have to get into that organisation because otherwise I'll be a failure. I have to cook dinner every night otherwise I'll be a bad parent. I can't be nice because the tough kids will make fun of me. I can't speak my mind because people will call me a "Karen." I have to believe everything other people tell me or I'll have no friends.
Do you spend all your energy, time and money on this hamster wheel? Is it fun? Does it create the happiness you'd like?
If not, ask "What could be possible if I changed my point of view?"
What if every "I have to" and "I can't" were just points of view that you could change? What point of view would you start with?
How many people do you have in your life you want to kill, or at least complain about endlessly? One or two? Or too many to count? When you think about these people do you smile, or frown?
When you see other people frowning, how do you feel? Do you feel happy and energetic, or not so much? What about when people smile at you? How do you feel?
Have you ever heard this children's song?
When someone smiles at me,
I feel like smiling too,
When I see someone who is happy,
I feel happy too.
Does this work? If you'd like to find out, ask "Who can I smile at today?" and start with one person. Then try another, and another, until you smile at everyone.
Yes, some of them may think you're insane. And do you really care what they think if you end up happier?
Are you happy with life? It's okay to say you are. But you probably can't, or won't admit it, right?
What is that? When did you decide that you couldn't be happy and had to be dissatisfied and complain about life?
Would you like to have more happiness in life? Will moaning and groaning create it? Or will choosing to be happy create it?
If you'd like to find out, ask "What can I smile about today?" and then SMILE and smile some more.
You may only find one thing to start with. A really great cup of coffee. A break in the traffic. A clear blue sky. So SMILE.
You can also smile at the not-so-great stuff. Illogically restrictive regulations. SMILE. Unable to see family or friends. SMILE. Lost your job. SMILE.
After a while, like magic, your sense of happiness will expand and you'll see more and more great stuff in life. Previously unthought of possibilities emerging like new grown weeds from a scorched earth.
You may even infect others with your choice to choose happiness, and would that be something to smile about?
Got something going on? Feeling a little down? Do you turn to your family, friends, or insignificant other for comfort, kindness, and a listening ear? Or maybe you share your soul on The Socials?
What do they offer you? Do they tell you what you're doing wrong and how, if you lived you're life like them, everything would be great? Or do they sympathise and help you reinforce your victim status?
How is that for you? Does it make you feel better?
Are you really looking for answers? Or are you seeking something else? Maybe a hug, a smile, a space to be you?
Are you willing to create this for yourself, if no one else will? If so, ask "What will nurture me?" and be/ do/ have that. It could be anything. Blowing off the afternoon to do the thing you love to do to relax and makes you smile.
And remember, next time someone comes to YOU like this, ask them "What can I do for you?" then listen, smile, create space, ask more questions, and shut up.
Do you find that your work, business, relationships or life in general never quite get to where you'd like them to be? You're talented, diligent, smart, cute, funny, intelligent, well-read, hard-working, kind, understanding and more, but somehow it just isn't happening?
Do you like to do it all yourself, rather than have others help? When others do help, is there a limit to what you will accept? Do you think involving others will weaken your control? Or that if you take too much, someone else will get less?
Consider nature. Do plants keep a ledger of how much oxygen and food they gift us? No. They just keep giving. The planet is an infinitely abundant place and keeps creating magically.
What if you functioned from abundance, rather than scarcity? Would lifting the limit on what you were willing to receive help expand your work, business, relationships and life possibilities?
Like to find out? If so, ask "What if limits weren't real?"
What does your life feel like right now? Light? Heavy? Fun? Serious? Energetic? Lethargic? Joyous? Miserable? Frivolous? Exhausting? Add your own words, image or feelings to describe your life as it is now.
Got them? Sometimes it helps to close your eyes to do it.
Now ask yourself "Is this the life I truly desire?"
If your life is not exactly what you'd like, then do it again, first asking "If time, money and other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose for my life, living and reality?"
Now get a sense of the energy of the life you'd truly like. Add words, images, smells, feelings, sensations too if that helps.
Are two images the same, or different?
What if you carried with you the energy of the life you'd truly like, and chose consciously people and things that matched it, regardless of your normal logical pros and cons?
Could that make it easier for you to create the life you'd truly like?
Do you know what you'd really like in life? What you truly desire?
Have you ever allowed yourself to consider it? Or have you always been/ done/ chosen what others have told you is The Right Thing?
If your life is not going quite how you'd like it, maybe you've been choosing for others, rather than for you?
So how do you know what you'd really like? Easy. Ask"What do I truly desire?" and see what comes to mind.
It might not be anything that you've ever acknowledged before. Or maybe you were told it would not be: appropriate/ realistic/ possible/ safe/ healthy/ normal/ sensible/ or any one of 1000s of words people like to use to control you.
Are you willing to look at what you'd really like now?
Once you can see your true desires, then you can invite them into your life. You just need to ask.
How often do you ask for what you'd really like? All the time? Sometimes? Almost never?
And how much of what you'd really like do you have in your life right now? A lot? A little? Almost nothing?
Do you see the connection? Don't ask, don't get.
What stops you from asking for what you'd like? Do you think that you're being selfish? That there's not enough to go around and you should give up your bit (whatever that is) for someone else? That you don't deserve it? That you don't need to ask for anything from anyone? That people should know what you want? Something else?
Are these true? Or are they interesting points of view that you may have bought from someone, sometime?
Have you ever heard the axiom: ask and you will receive? Have you ever asked?
So if you don't have the life you'd truly like, ask "What if I asked for the life I'd truly like?"
Then ask. And receive.
Are you stuck in a rut with someone? Your insignificant other? A parent? Your boss? A co-worker? A celebrity or authority figure? Or even a friend?
Do you sense something is not quite right between you and them, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to make it work?
What have you decided this person means to you? Have you made them the answer to something?
For example, have you made your boy/girlfriend The One? Are your parents proof that you're The Good Child? Is your boss The Enemy around who you rally with your co-workers? Is a co-worker The Unfair Competition to excuse your own uninspired performance? Is the celebrity or authority figure The Hero Coming to Save the Day? Is your friend [__________ fill in their role and it's value here]?
If you'd like to be free from these limits and to see people for who they truly are — rather than what you've decided they are — ask "What have I made this person mean to me?"
Then acknowledge it, and say farewell (to the rut).
If you'd like to continue having that person in your life, ask another question.
Do you ever blame other people or circumstances for things that don't work out in your life?
Does it make you feel better and help you create the life you'd actually like? Or does it side-track you into an Alice-in-Wonderland like maze of distraction?
If you'd like to create the life you'd like, acknowledge your role as creator of everything that shows up in it.
How? For every good, bad, ugly, beautiful thing that shows up in it, ask "How did I create this?"
It'll be easy for the good, beautiful things. What about the bad, ugly things?
What if by taking ownership of everything in your life, you gained clarity over how you created it? Then, if it doesn't work for you (bad/ugly), you can see how to create it differently.
How? Ask questions.
Have you ever been stuck not knowing what to do? You've got two or more great (or not so great) options and you just don't know which one to go with?
Are you frozen by the idea that you might make the wrong choice? Have you made this choice the answer to your life? And if you get it wrong, people will say "there you go again, making no-good choices" and your life will be over?
Is that true? What if there were no wrong choices? What if no choice was the answer to your life? What if a choice was quite simply that: a choice. A choice that is good for 10 seconds, and then you get to choose again.
How does that feel? A bit lighter? Can you choose now?
So go on, remind yourself: a choice is just a choice and you can do it every 10 seconds. When you're stuck, ask "What if I just chose, dammit?"
Then choose. Repeat.
Do you ever find yourself talking about a particular topic to anyone who'll listen? Something you'd like people to notice and agree with you about? It could be about the state of the nation, the office, or people's houses, clothes or bodies? The Latest Crisis of the Week?
When you do that, notice your energy. Do you talk about it lightly as a question with an interesting point of view energy, and then get on with the fun of life?
Or do you sense a heaviness, a stickiness which distracts you from being joyful?
When you say interesting and get on with it, you are being aware and in allowance of it. When you get gummed up with its heaviness, you are the effect of it.
So if you'd like to have uninterrupted access to joy in life — no matter what is going on in the world — next time you notice yourself repeatedly thinking, saying or doing something, ask "Am I in allowance, or the effect of this?"
If you'd like to change something — not simply talk about it — ask more questions, like "What is this? Can I change it? If so how?" and "What action can I take"?
How do you shop for clothes? Are you a bargain hunter? Do you rely on a friend, shop assistant, or internet influencer to tell you what to buy?
Do you consider what other people will approve? For example, it's the latest fashion that your friends will admire, or its safe-conservative that your workplace will accept?
Do you ever ask your body?
How does your approach work for you? Is your wardrobe full of clothes you absolutely adore? Are your clothes a joy to wear and make you feel happy all over? Do they make you smile and strut your stuff?
Or do you shuffle through life feeling slightly uncomfortable and dressed not quite right?
For fun, next time you go shopping or open your wardrobe, ask "Body, what would you like to wear?" Notice what draws your hand or eyes. Touch it. Notice how your skin feels.
You'll know when your body wants to wear something. And if nothing draws you, keep on moving until you find something that does...even if that's nothing ;-)
Have you ever been told you're too loud, too active, too energetic, too happy, too full of life and could you TURN IT DOWN or PUT A LID ON IT?
Do you feel bad about it? Do you feel wrong?
What if there were nothing wrong with you?
What if some people simply don't get your energy, your exuberant expression of life?
What if your energy and exuberance is an amazing capacity, a phenomenal talent? A gift the world needs?
If you'd like to remind yourself that your energy and exuberance is not wrong, and that some people will simply not get you and become angry or annoyed, ask "How many people can I wake up with my exuberance today?"
Then smile and dance on.
How often do you get stuck in life? A lot, a little or not at all? Do you ever get into a cranky pants rage or spiral into a frenzy of anxiety? Is that fun for you?
If not, and you'd prefer to have total freedom to see and walk around such roadblocks — to be able to change anything that's not working for you in life — start by asking one of these questions.
1. What if I had infinite, free choice?
2. What if everything were just an interesting point of view?
3. If I had 10 second to choose the rest of my life, what would I choose?
4. What question could I ask?
5. What if form and structure had no significance?
6. Am I in judgement?
7. What does this add to my life?
8. What's the value of competition?
9. What if I didn't buy the story?
10. What am I excluding here?
The reality is, you always have choice.
Is your life full of ease, joy and abundance?
Not so much? No surprise given how many people seem to enjoy telling you that life must be hard, no fun, and a knock-down-drag-out fight to the death for scarce and dwindling resources. Not to mention the Fear and Terror of The Plague.
What if that were not true? If you'd like to find out what else is possible, add this daily mantra to your wake-up routine.
"All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory."
Saying this will remind you that how you function in life is your choice. And, if you choose, you can function from ease and joy and glory (exuberant expression and abundance) no matter what is going on.
Even when "things go wrong" you can experience them with ease and create any change you desire.
It's all of life, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Everything is included and nothing as to be a difficulty.
The reality is, you always have a choice.
Do you feel that you're not enough? You don't fit in? That you must strive to become something that your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, The Media, The Government or others have told you that you should be?
Certainly you couldn't possibly be enough just as you are! You need to be something better, right?
What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being you — just as you are — was exactly right?
What if it were more than OK? What if the world actually needs the full range of your talents and abilities that you've been told your whole life were wrong?
What would that be like? Do you know? If you'd like to find out, ask "What if being me could change the world?"
If you're not clear on who you are, ask "If I were me, who would I be?" and "What's right about me that I'm not getting?"
What if you could be you and change the world?
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