Do you have someone sick or suffering in your life? Are you surrounded by well meaning family and friends, and highly trained medical professionals all telling you how it's going to get worse and worse?
What happens to plants when you direct negative thoughts, words and actions at them? Science shows us they wither and die. Are people any different?
What if rather than contributing like this to someone's deterioration by adding your voice to the throng, you asked the person suffering "What contribution could I be to you?" Then listen and honour the person by being that, even if it's just to hold their hand and smile.
You are not expecting a miracle recovery, even if it's possible and could occur. You are honouring the person and offering them energy, space, allowance, and possibility.
What different could you be by contributing that?
How many people do you have in your life you want to kill, or at least complain about endlessly? One or two? Or too many to count? When you think about these people do you smile, or frown?
When you see other people frowning, how do you feel? Do you feel happy and energetic, or not so much? What about when people smile at you? How do you feel?
Have you ever heard this children's song?
When someone smiles at me,
I feel like smiling too,
When I see someone who is happy,
I feel happy too.
Does this work? If you'd like to find out, ask "Who can I smile at today?" and start with one person. Then try another, and another, until you smile at everyone.
Yes, some of them may think you're insane. And do you really care what they think if you end up happier?
Are you happy with life? It's okay to say you are. But you probably can't, or won't admit it, right?
What is that? When did you decide that you couldn't be happy and had to be dissatisfied and complain about life?
Would you like to have more happiness in life? Will moaning and groaning create it? Or will choosing to be happy create it?
If you'd like to find out, ask "What can I smile about today?" and then SMILE and smile some more.
You may only find one thing to start with. A really great cup of coffee. A break in the traffic. A clear blue sky. So SMILE.
You can also smile at the not-so-great stuff. Illogically restrictive regulations. SMILE. Waterfalls of fear around you. SMILE. Unable to see family or friends. SMILE. Lost your job. SMILE. Feeling depressed. SMILE.
After a while, like magic, your sense of happiness will expand and you'll see more and more great stuff in life. Previously unthought of possibilities emerging like new grown weeds from a scorched earth.
You may even infect others with your choice to choose happiness, and would that be something to smile about?
Got something going on? Feeling a little down? Do you turn to your family, friends, or insignificant other for comfort, kindness, and a listening ear? Or maybe you share your soul on The Socials?
What do they offer you? Do they tell you what you're doing wrong and how, if you lived you're life like them, everything would be great? Or do they sympathise and help you reinforce your victim status?
How is that for you? Does it make you feel better?
Are you really looking for answers? Or are you seeking something else? Maybe a hug, a smile, a space to be you?
Are you willing to create this for yourself, if no one else will? If so, ask "What will nurture me?" and be/ do/ have that. It could be anything. Blowing off the afternoon to do the thing you love to do to relax and makes you smile.
And remember, next time someone comes to YOU like this, ask them "What can I do for you?" then listen, smile, create space, ask more questions, and shut up.
Do you find that your work, business, relationships or life in general never quite get to where you'd like them to be? You're talented, diligent, smart, cute, funny, intelligent, well-read, hard-working, kind, understanding and more, but somehow it just isn't happening?
Do you like to do it all yourself, rather than have others help? When others do help, is there a limit to what you will accept? Do you think involving others will weaken your control? Or that if you take too much, someone else will get less?
Consider nature. Do plants keep a ledger of how much oxygen and food they gift us? No. They just keep giving. The planet is an infinitely abundant place and keeps creating magically.
What if you functioned from abundance, rather than scarcity? Would lifting the limit on what you were willing to receive help expand your work, business, relationships and life possibilities?
Like to find out? If so, ask "What if limits weren't real?"
What does your life feel like right now? Light? Heavy? Fun? Serious? Energetic? Lethargic? Joyous? Miserable? Frivolous? Exhausting? Add your own words, image or feelings to describe your life as it is now.
Got them? Sometimes it helps to close your eyes to do it.
Now ask yourself "Is this the life I truly desire?"
If your life is not exactly what you'd like, then do it again, first asking "If time, money and other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose for my life, living and reality?"
Now get a sense of the energy of the life you'd truly like. Add words, images, smells, feelings, sensations too if that helps.
Are two images the same, or different?
What if you carried with you the energy of the life you'd truly like, and chose consciously people and things that matched it, regardless of your normal logical pros and cons?
Could that make it easier for you to create the life you'd truly like?
How do you shop for clothes? Are you a bargain hunter? Do you rely on a friend, shop assistant, or internet influencer to tell you what to buy?
Do you consider what other people will approve? For example, it's the latest fashion that your friends will admire, or its safe-conservative that your workplace will accept?
Do you ever ask your body?
How does your approach work for you? Is your wardrobe full of clothes you absolutely adore? Are your clothes a joy to wear and make you feel happy all over? Do they make you smile and strut your stuff?
Or do you shuffle through life feeling slightly uncomfortable and dressed not quite right?
For fun, next time you go shopping or open your wardrobe, ask "Body, what would you like to wear?"Notice what draws your hand or eyes. Touch it. Notice how your skin feels.
You'll know when your body wants to wear something. And if nothing draws you, keep on moving until you find something that does...even if it's your birthday suit...
Got a pain? Feeling sick?
Have you put your body in the hands of a 100+ doctors and other experts and still don't know what's wrong?
Have you asked your body?
What if it knew more than anyone? What if pain was simply your body screaming at you to listen?
It might start out as a slight twinge or ache: your body saying "Excuse me, I need something," which if you ignore becomes a nagging discomfort "Helloooooo! I REALLY need something!" Until finally your body screams in pain "HEY YOU!!!!! I NEED SOME ATTENTION NOW...OR ELSE!!!!!"
So before that happens ask "Body, what are you telling me?"
Once you start listening to your body, keep asking questions like "What information do I need?" and "Who do I need to talk to?" until you discover what your body is asking for.
What have you made the answer to your life?
Relationship? "When I find The One I'll be happy"
Money? "When I have $XXX in the bank I'll be secure"
Work? "When I get that job my parents will see I'm successful"
Happiness? "When people admire my work I'll feel respected"
Will these things in themselves make you feel happy, secure, validated or successful? Or does your point of view create your reality?
If you didn't have the point of view you lacked something, would you feel dissatisfied and unhappy?
So when you're feeling less than, or dissatisfied with your life as it is, and you hear yourself repeating "When I have X, I'll be Y" or "If only I had X, I'd be Y" ask "What am I making having X about?"
Then notice what the real target of your desire (Y) is and ask "What will it take to be Y now?"
Got clutter in your life? Are some things - work tasks, relationships, or actual stuff in the corner - piling up and weighing you down?
How often do you have on to habits, people and things, that you know deep down you'd really rather let go?
How much of your must-hang-onto-this comes from what you think other people will say? Obligations you imagine you have that may not be true?
What if you delegated the task? What if you created space in your life for people who made you smile? What if you reintroduced yourself to the corners of your house? What could you create as your life if you no longer cluing to things that you don't truly desire?
If you'd like to de-clutter and create more space, ask "I am hanging on to this for what reason?"
If it feels light to let it go, thank it and send it off on a new adventure with consciousness.
Do you sometimes feel like you're not being who you really are? That you're being all sorts of things for other people, and nothing for you?
Do any of these roles sound familiar? Super mum/ breadwinner dad/ hardest working employee/ best boss/ A-grades daughter/ sports champion son/ dutiful child/ sacrificial parent/ host-with-the-most/ community hero/ volunteer star/ best friend to all/ any combination of the above/ [fill in your own identities here _____________].
Do they weigh you down?
Do you feel lost under the layers of masks you wear to try and make other people happy, but don't quite feel like you?
Would you like to rediscover who you really are?
If so, ask "If I were me, who would I be?"
What if being you was more than just fine? What if it was wonderful and exactly what your family, home, office, communities, and the world needs?
How often do you feel tired at study, work, or home simply because you're 'tired of it'? You've had enough.
Think of 3 o'clock on Friday afternoon and you're winding down at work. Do you start to feel tired?
What happens then at 5 o'clock when you meet your friends for drinks, dinner, chatting, dancing or watching sport?
Do you still feel tired? Or do you come to life and have boundless energy?
What is that? Is it the fun factor? Could fun be enough to keep you energised?
So when you start to feel tired ask "Am I tired or bored?"
Then ask "What could I add to my study/ work/ business/ relationship/ life that would make it more fun?" and add that.
What are your points of view about study, including about going to school, college, or university and about learning anything in general?
Any of these? That it's hard, will take a long time and lots of money? That you're not smart or diligent enough? That you shouldn't rest, sleep, or enjoy yourself because you should be studying?
How many vested interests are making study hard for you? Do teachers want you to outshine them? Do after school tutoring businesses want you to hire them? And other students? Do they want you to see your talent?
Are you willing to consider a different possibility? If so, ask “What if study were easy and fun?”
What if you approached study with the energy of insatiable curiosity about things that inspire you?
What if you were excited about learning new ways to expand your natural talents? Would study be easier, and more fun and rewarding then?
Are you feeling ill or exhausted? Do you have aches and pains that baffle the doctors? Baffle you?
Before you start on a carousel of drug-taking to see if you can alleviate the symptoms, ask “What am I sick and tired of?”
Maybe it's doom and gloom stories in the media? Not being able to visit or hug loved ones? Or being told what to do but your own questions and points of view are censored. Or something else like housework/home schooling/working from home/what else?
Whatever that is for you, when you think of it and groan and slump, worry and fear, or stress and sweat ask “What else is possible?” and “Can I change this? If so, how?”
Perhaps simply choose not to listen to/switch off/walk away from the stories? Or ask "What information do I need?" and "What action can I take?" - repeat - until you no longer feel sick and tired.
What if your body's discomfort was it screaming at you to change something and create a new life, greater than you could have imagined?
What if your body was a whole lot smarter than you ever gave it credit for?
What if its aches and pains were telling you much more than what vitamins and minerals you need? You know the feeling of heartbreak? It's a very real physical ache. People have died from it. What about other physical symptoms? Find out by asking“Body, who or what
Do you use drugs of any kind? Hard drugs, pharmaceutical drugs, tobacco, or alcohol in excessive amounts? Do you have any other compulsive behaviour, for example with food, exercise, feeling bad about yourself, or helping / bullying people , that you think you can't change? Maybe you're a control freak who works 24/7 to prove you're right?
What does this behaviour add to your life?
Do you use it to dull or heighten your awareness about something? Does it free you from pain, physical, emotional or intellectual? Does it create a space where you feel more you?
How real is that awareness, freedom and space? Completely, or not at all?
What if you could create real, total awareness, freedom and space which does not rely on anything but you?
If you'd like to find out, ask “What does this [your addictive or compulsive behaviour] add to my life, and what information do I require that would empower me to create that in other ways?”
Visit http://www.marilynbradford.com/right-recovery-for-you.html for more information.
How many things do you have in your life that don't work for you, that you think you have to be/do/have because someone else said so?
You have to study for that exam, go to that school, study that subject, enter that company, learn that language, marry that person, have that many children, attend that event, vote for that person, put that in your body, follow that rule and so on. How well do you do them?
Just because someone else says you need to be/do/have something is a good idea, will it always work out well for you?
Who is the one person who does know what will work for you and what is true for you?
YOU. Only you know if something works for you. It feels light as a feather. Unlike all the heavy stuff you know doesn't work for you, but you do anyway because you were told to.
So if you're not as happy as you'd like to be, start listening and trusting you more by asking "Does this work for me?"
Notice whether you feel heavy or light. And if you'd like to change any heaviness, ask "What else is possible?"
What would you like to have show up in your life?
A great new job, a successful business, smart staff, more customers, reliable suppliers, an investor, money, greater ease, less stress, better health, more fun? For life to become better than the normal you had before the fear and panic? Something else?
Whatever that is, invite it into your life by asking "What's it going to take for X to show up?"
Be aware of the specific details of your question. For example, if you ask for the 'perfect job,' you may create a job based on other people's expectations of perfect, including how long and hard you have to work, doing whatever your boss says even if it makes no sense, taking sides in office politics, and so on.
So instead, be clear on what you'd like by asking, for example “What's it going to take for [a rewarding job that I enjoy and allows me to extend my talents, with flexible, fun, creative people] to show up, that would contribute to my life more than I can imagine, or something greater?”
Make sure that when you ask, you let go of any conclusions you might have made about what it will look like, and how it will show up, and be willing to receive it when it does. You never know what might happen when you ask a question.
Not having much fun? Is your movement restricted, or you have no job, no social life, and are sinking into the conclusion that you have no future? Is your world full of people telling you to follow the rules and the world as we know it is at an end?
Are you feeling a little heavy?
What if you could contribute to an amazing new future for everyone - including you! - have fun at the same time? Like to find out? If so, ask “What fun could I add to my life?”
It could be anything, large or small. Like learning/creating something randomly new online, going on an adventure into the deep dark depths of your closet and creating space for yourself (great workout too BTW), asking your insignificant other to make you breakfast-in-bed and supervise the kids homeschooling while you sleep in, creating a 'holiday' anywhere different in your available space, or challenging yourself to make up a joke every day over coffee.
What if you did anything that made you smile and feel light? If you already have a little of it, add more.
The point is: take action, create your life every day, and smile. There's no need to stick with one thing forever. If your fun drops off, ask the question again and make another choice.
You'll be amazed at what you can create when you ask. "Fun: am I willing to have more?
Are you just your body? Or are you more?
Does your body do things that you, even science, simply can't explain or replicate, like run your pancreas, get over a cold, or make babies? Could your body be a whole lot smarter about what it needs than you?
How's your body feeling now? 110%, okaaaay, or rubbish? Whatever the case, invite it to tell you what it would like, ask “Body, what do you desire?”
Then LISTEN and give your body what it needs, not what you or anyone else has decided it should have.
What if, by listening more to your body, your aches and pains melted away?
What if listening more closely to your body gave you boundless energy and every cell sung with the vibrant joy of a five-year old?
To gain clarity, ask different questions, like "Body, do you desire more/ less/ different food/ water/ movement/ sleep/ sex/ stress/ other?" Then pay attention to sensations your body gives you, or things that come to mind.
Could this create the physical changes you've been seeking? If you'd like to find out, start an ongoing conversation with your body today, and LISTEN.
Is something going on in your life that has you stuck and unable to take action? For you to be unable to change something, you have to have decided or concluded something about it.
Ask yourself, what have you decided in your life right now that is perfect, or the answer? A relationship? A job? A business? A government strategy?
When you can see your decisions – and are willing to let them go – all change becomes possible.
So when you're stuck and unable to make the changes you'd really like, ask “What decisions, conclusions, and answers have I made about this?”
This does not mean you have to end the relationship, give up on the job/business quest, or become an anti-government activist. Once you are aware of limitations you have created through decisions and conclusions, you can choose to transform them into something else.
Perhaps into even something better than you could have ever imagined. How? Just ask another question, such as "What information do I need?"
How often do you get stuck in a no-win fight? Do you enjoy it when other people won't listen to your opinion and only want you to see theirs?
How much stress, anxiety and worry do you suffer from trying to prove who's right and who's wrong about something?
Does this help your work or business? Do fights create, or use your time and money? What does stress, anxiety and worry do to your body and health?
Would you prefer to create greater ease in life for you and your body? Then practice these magic words “interesting point of view” every time you find yourself having a difference of opinion with someone.
You're not saying anyone is right or wrong. You're acknowledging everyone has a right to their own (perhaps insane) point of view, including you.
Say it lightly, smile and move on, for example “Yes, I see, thank you. That's a really interesting point of view. I wonder what would be the most rewarding outcome for our business/relationship/health/life right now? What else could we look at?”
This invites in new ideas and information that you might both find interesting.
Whatever you've got going on – great or not so great – it can always get better. You just have to ask.
What bad things are going on with you right now? Perhaps you've run out of essential supplies, lost your job, closed your business and went bankrupt, are stuck in a confined space, are unable to travel, got dumped by the love of your life, got sick, or [list your own not-so-good stuff here _________________]?
What about the good things? There's got to be something. Are you enjoying spending more time with your immediate community and family? Catching up on all the projects you've never given yourself time to do? Spending less time/money travelling to work? Noticing less pollution around you? Managing to enjoy life without things you previously considered essential? What else? [List your own good stuff here ______________].
Now ask “How does it get any better than this?”
This is your invitation for something even better to show up.
Of course you'd like the bad things to improve.
The good stuff? Just because something is great now, doesn't mean it can't be even greater.
Do you like your body? Do you enjoy it and do fun things with it, like skip, run, jump, dance and play? Do you ever thank it for carrying your brain safely to work every day?
Or do you wake up in the morning judging it? It's too fat, too thin, too wrinkly, too ugly, too slow, too old, too....? Do you tell it it's not what it should be and force it to do things to make it what you think it should be? Do you try every new exercise and diet? Do you take pills and have surgery?
Or do you ignore your body completely and find any excuse to move as little as possible?
Is any of this working for you? Is your body having a good time? Here's a hint. Pain and discomfort is your body telling you it's not happy.
What if instead, you asked your body what it enjoys and follow its lead? Remember when you were five, when you had a vibrant, fit, healthy, body overflowing with energy? Did you think about it, or did you just follow your body?
If you'd like that energy again, ask “Body, what would be fun for you?” then, as they say, just do it.
Even if you're in a restricted or confined place, there's plenty you can be doing. Helloooo internet! There are 1000s of amazingly creative people adapting their skills freely to help you keep your body moving with joy, even in the tiniest of spaces.
What could you do that would be a gift to your body?
Have you ever been completely, 100 per cent, absolutely certain about something, only to find one day that everything you held to be true, was in fact not true?
Like your 'till death do I part' loving partner, falling in love with someone else and walking out? Like a highly esteemed charity exposed as having committed crimes against children for centuries? Like a trusted authority urging you to use something, praising it as good for you, when actually it's very, very bad, like asbestos, DDT, smoking, or thalidomide to name just a few examples?
What else have you experienced that shattered your reality?
If you'd prefer not to experience that stomach sickening wrench of cognitive dissonance again, next time you find yourself completely, 100 per cent, absolutely certain about something, ask yourself "Are my eyes wide shut?"
This question is a simple reminder that you may be looking, but not seeing something hiding in plain sight. And remember, what's light is right for you.
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