Do you feel like your life is a mess? Is nothing quite working out the way you thought it would? Do people you thought you could rely on keep leaving you stranded?
Have you asked lots of questions, but nothing is showing up how you expected it to? Do you feel like everything is falling apart? If so, ask "What if falling apart was falling together?"
What if all those things you've been working on 25/8, bleeding sweat and tears, were still works in progress? What if the universe was rearranging things is a way you can't yet imagine? What if the mess were simply mid-creation?
Before you decide something is not working, stop and ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" and "What will it take for this to turn out better than I could ever imagine?" Then smile an enjoy the creative process.
Do you consider you're addicted to something? Has someone told you that you are? What is that for you? Food, drugs, alcohol, sex, work, helping people, the wrongness of you, or something else?
What does addiction mean to you? That you're powerless to overcome it without submitting to a higher authority? That you will never overcome it and it will always control you? That it's a physical condition, an allergy, and the only solution is a long, slow process and complete abstinence? That you are bad, wrong, or a failure for having it?
What if addiction wasn't what you thought it was? If you've tried everything and would like to find out what else is possible, start by asking yourself "What if addiction wasn't a disease?"
What else is possible? That depends on you. This question is designed to unstick you from where you might be stuck.
How much change would you like? Visit Marilyn Bradford's System of Right Recovery for more information about how to choose for you.
Have you ever been in a workout, class, meeting, event or project where someone was trying to get you to do something? How did they do it? Were they aggressive and coercive? Did they browbeat you until you got it? Did the literally scream at you COME ON PUUUUUUSH!!!!
Even if you're in labour with child, how do you feel when someone screams at you to 'PUSH through the pain/deadline/brickwall'? Do you feel like doing it? If you're having a baby, nature will take its course. If you're not, are you like to PUSH, or are you likely to respond 'hmmm, maybe not today...'?
Do you do it yourself? Is breaking the pain barrier fun? Do you like banging your head up against the brickwall of obstacles? If not, and you'd like another way to generate results greater than you could imagine, trying pulling.
So if you'd like to create something new, ask "What if I pulled instead of pushed?" then pull energy from everywhere in the universe through you.
Play with it and see what happens. Maybe you'll spot that the wall is only a meter wide and you can walk around it. Maybe the unstable foundations of the roadblock will start to crumble. You can also pull energy through other people, then watch them wake up and get going. No screaming required.
Do you feel a bit tired or run down? Are you catching frequent colds, or just feeling out of sorts? Got skin irritations?
What's going on in your life right now? Are you busy creating all sorts of fun things for other people? Are you stuck under the thumb of someone who's demanding you do not so fun things? Are you somewhere in between?
Whatever you're doing, where are you in your life? If you notice you don't bounce out of bed in the morning at 110% and expand out to 1100% as the day progresses, ask "Where am I in the list of priorities in my life?"
What if you were willing to nurture and care for you? What would it take for you to realise how crucial you are to the possibilities of the world?
How often do you say 'because' every day? For example: I can't come tonight because [I have to work late]; I have to work late because [it's a job and better than nothing]; I'd love to do something else more fun for work, but I can't because [add your reason here].
Are the things you say after 'because' real? Or are they simply all your reasons and justifications for not doing something? When you really want something, do you find a way to create it, no matter what it takes?
If you'd like to create more of what you'd really like in life, notice every time you say 'because' and ask "What's possible that I haven't considered?"
You're not wrong when you say 'because.' If fact, you're absolutely right and that's what you'll create.
If you'd like something more than you currently have, questions will open your eyes and show you what else is possible. Then you can create it, if you choose.
When you wake up in the morning, what goes through your head? Ugh, coffee, shower, kids, work, chores, exhausted, bored, sigh, ugh? Or something else?
How do your days usually turn out? Do you notice when you wake up with sighs and ughs your day often continues with a stream of the same?
What about when you start the day with a question, like "Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures can I have?" Does your day have the same, or different energy?
So what will you choose today? More sighs and ughs? Or something else? If you'd like something else, ask "What will I choose today to experience the joy of living?"
Whatever comes to mind, heart, or body that makes you smile, choose that, no matter how left of field it might seem.
What if the magic of life were that you get to choose and create it just the way you like. You just have to ask.
What's going on in your life right now? Is it fun, or not so much? How often do you complain about things? Do you have something you'd like to change?
Great! The fact that you see things you'd like to change means you can see change is possible.
So what is it about change that is causing you to keep complaining, and not change? What keeps you from creating the changes you desire?
Have you decided the change you'd like must be hard, and that you don't deserve it, or that someone else knows better about what is good for you?
Would you like a different possibility? Then ask yourself "What if change were easy?" and destroy and uncreate everywhere you have consciously or unconsciously decided it must be difficult and/or up to someone else.
What if you thought of change as an exciting new adventure? Would you choose it, and choose it again? What else could be possible for you if you embraced change and took action for yourself?
Think of the last time you were in a class, meeting, workout, or family gathering. How did you feel? Tired? Drained? Bored?
Were you dreaming of a good lie down, yearning for some chocolate (or something stronger), or wondering what on earth you were doing there?
What were your students, teacher, boss, co-workers, trainer, coach, family or friends doing? Were they smiling and joyful, offering expressions of encouragement, support and understanding? Or were their brows furrowed, their faces blank or glued to their phones?
Do you sense the energetic difference between someone who smiles at you and tells you "Yes, let's do this think! Great going!" and someone who looks serious or glum and tells you "No, not like that. Do it right like this!" or someone who never looks up from their phone?
Next time you find you're in a situation like this, ask "What energy could my smile contribute?" If you sense it could create change, then smile. And if you sense that they won't choose to change, then you can always smile and walk away.
What if a smile alone created more joyful energy in your life? Would you choose to smile even more?
What does having children mean to you? Have you ever said "I'm never going to have children" or "I don't think I'd be a good parent"?
What does parenting mean to you? What have you decided being a parent has to be? Have you based that decision on what your parents, friends, relatives, neighbours, 'experts', or the media have told you?
Do these expectations about having children and becoming a parent feel light or heavy to you? Are you stressed or conflicted about what to do? How is this impacting on your relationships with your insignificant other?
Wht if you could create a different reality for you as a parent? A reality that was light, exciting and joyful?
If you'd like to find out, ask "What if being a parent wasn't what I thought it was?" and destroy and uncreate everything you have made real about what other people have told you.
Then get clear on the energy on the life you'd really like and see where that leads you.
Right now, who in your life are you doing your best to help, support, love, care for, work hard for, or contribute to?
Do you get the results you know are possible? Or are you saddened, disheartened, disappointed, puzzled, upset, frustrated, annoyed, or even angered by how little impact you seem to be having? Are they treating you like rubbish?
Who do you make wrong? Them, or you? Do you re-double your efforts and go out of your way to do whatever you think is required, to no effect? Do you feel like rubbish?
If you'd like to create a different possibility, ask "Have I made this person greater than me?" Then acknowledge how great YOU are, regardless of what others would have you believe?
What if no one were greater? What if everyone were just different, including that some people simply won't choose change, no matter how great you can see it could be?
Would you be willing to be the greatest you are first? And then invite others to come play?
Have you had a bad day...week/month/YEAR? Did you bump into someone's parked car when you were backing down the driveway? Did you get a bill 10 times what you were expecting? Did youfind out the times had changes on an event you'd been promoting, an hour before it was due to start? Did you create a fight when you thought you were being helpful? Did someone tell you how much rubbish you are? did you have ALL of these in one day?
Do you feel like crying? Having a stiff drink? Jumping off a cliff? Something else?
If you'd like something else, ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" Then ask "What would make me giggle right now?"
Remember when you were five, and everything made you giggle? Find ONE thing and pull that energy through you, and keep looking for MORE thinks, until you lighten, smile...and maybe even giggle. Even if it's to giggle at yourself for being Cute, Not Bright.
Do you push yourself hard? Are you the sort of person who says "If I'm going to to this, I'm going to do it well and on time?" And do you keep going even when you're exhausted?
Certainly, you probably feel satisfaction in getting things done. How often do you find yourself a physical, mental, or emotional wreck at the end of, or even during the process?
What if you could achieve an even greater result without the physical, mental, and emotional fatigue?
If you'd like to find out what's possible, next time you notice you've set yourself a MUST DO — for example, exercise X times a week, get a new business up and running, meet a work project deadline — ask "Body, would you like to rest?" Then listen to and honour your body.
What if the space between your DOING, ie your REST, was where your body, brain, and being relaxed to allow your ideas and energy to flow to you in even greater amounts?
Do you have a lot going on? Shopping, cooking, cleaning, kids duties, family duties, work needs, saving the world, and then fall in bed in a heap only to start it all over again in six hours?
How often do you say "I'd love to do that...but I don't have time"?
How many books would you like to read, movies to see, friends to catch up with, hobbies to enjoy, causes to support, projects to start, worlds to save, that you don't do because you "don't have time"?
Have you decided time and space are finite, and you can't change them to suit you?
If you'd like to do more of the things you enjoy in life, rather than having the duties and responsibilities you've decided you have to do to fill up your days, ask "What will it take for me to fold time and space?"
Science questions the bounds of time and space all the time. What if you played with it too?
Today, for the whole day, listen to everything that comes out of your mouth. Or even just for ten minutes.
How much of what you say is a veiled, or even outright complaint about someone or something? Do you ever hear your voice taking on a repetitive whinging, defensive, or hostile tone?
Words have their own energy to create, or to destroy. If your words are dominated by criticism or emotion, then that is what you will create more of.
There is nothing wrong with being aware that something is not working, and that you'd like to make it better. The difference is simply the energy behind your words.
So if you'd like to change your pattern of defaulting to destructive criticism or emotion, ask "How are these words contributing to the life I'd like to create?" If you notice they're not, simply ask "How does it get any better than this?"
Right now, get the energy of your life as it is today. What does it smell like, taste like, feel like? What sounds do you hear, what sights do you see, how much do you smile, laugh, and do the things you really love?
Got it? Remember it. Put it in your pocket.
Now ask yourself "If time, money and everyone else's points of view were not real, what would I like the energy of my life to be like?" What would it smell like, taste like, feel like? What sounds would you hear, what sights would you see, how much would you be smiling, laughing, and doing the things you really love? Who would you be in it, where would you be, and what would you be doing?
Got it? Now check the energy of this life, the life you'd like. Is it the same, or different to the energy of the life you have now? If it's different, remember it. Hold it in your hands. Whenever you consider adding something or someone to your life, check its energy, by asking "Is this the energy of the life I'd really like?"
How's your body? Light and lively? Molecularly intertwined with the sofa? Or somewhere in between?
You have a body, right? Have you ever considered what you created it for? Did you create it simply to carry your all-important brain around? Or perhaps it was just to procreate and give brith to more brains with transport?
What if you created a body so you could enjoy the smells, tastes, textures, sights, sounds, movements, and all the other orgasmic physical sensations of life?
How much of that physical joy do you experience now? A lot, or not much at all?
If you sense you're no longer experiencing the full range that your body is capable of — and is probably champing at the bit for — as "Body, would you like to wiggle?" Then jiggle it a bit and see what it tells you. It might just take the lead and waltz you around the floor.
Imagine the best thing that could possibly happen to you right now. A better paid job? Any job? More fun people to hang out with? Simply being allowed to visit friends and family? A new car? $2000 suddenly appearing in your bank account? Your loans paid off? A great apartment in a fabulous part of town? A shack at the beach? Ten new clients? Retirement? Finding out you're pregnant? Finding out you're not pregnant? Going on a trip? World peace? An end to poverty and hunger? What else?
Do you dream, hope and fantasise about it? Perhaps you've had a taste and are waiting for the flood gates to open? Or you're wondering why it's taking so long, and that maybe you're not asking enough, or the right questions?
When did you decide that achieving this particular thing was as good as it gets? What if there were something even better that you can't see on your left, simply because you keep looking to your right?
If you'd like to see the sphere of possibilities around you, in all dimensions, ask "What is possible that I can't imagine?"
What makes you angry? Injustice? War? Poverty? Evil? Your partner coming home late from work every night? Your boss or co-workers being stupid and lazy? Your family not being willing to see your point of view about how to make the world a better place? What else?
I'm guessing you'd like to change these things for the better, and you become angry out of frustration, because you think you're supposed to be angry, or from the belief that anger will somehow create the changes you'd like?
Will it? Probably not. Two things that anger will create are: stress and toxicity in your body; and resistance and reaction in other people.
Will either of these things help you make the changes you'd like? No. They might even make it harder.
If you'd like to be free from anger's control, to create what you'd really like, ask "What will anger contribute here?" and then "What else is possible to create the changes I'd like to see?"
What if you could see anger for what it is: a distraction?
What does manipulation mean to you? Does it have negative connotations relating to taking an unfair advantage?
Did you know the word manipulate simply means skilful handling of objects and people?
How skilfully do you manipulate your reality now? Do you create the life you'd like? Or do you faithfully follow every decision and judgement handed down by other people, interpreting it as strictly as possible, and usually to your disadvantage?
If you'd like to handle your reality more skilfully, to create the life you'd really like, ask "What if manipulation was about creating more possibilities?"
What if you could see the possibilities between someone else's decisions (even laws) and manipulate — skilfully handle — reality to create the changes you desire, even legally?
Indeed. This has far too many exclamation marks to be a question. So let's call it a demand.
And let's talk about fun. How much do you have? What about the people you hang out with? Work? Family life? Is it all fun, or at least have fun bits to it? Whatever the case, would you like to increase your life's fun factor?
I'm assuming you said yes. So start by asking
"What fun can I add to my life?"
"How much fun can I have today?" and
"What will it take for more fun people to come and play?"
Then make the demand "Fun! Fun! Bring it on!"
What makes you laugh? Doing something silly like skipping around your desk or wiggling your bottom? Being told a lame joke? Jamming on the ukulele and singing loudly? Baking a cake? Getting a massage? Buying shoes? Playing golf? Lifting heavy weights? Talking to your cat?
Whatever that is for you, are you willing to demand more? Go on. I dare you.
Are you busy? Rushed off your feet? Do you feel you never get enough done? Is your TO DO list growing out of control? Does everything you do seem to take a long time and be unnecessarily complicated? Do you sigh a lot?
Would you prefer to live each day elegantly, creating your life exactly the way you wanted, with ease and a smile?
What if you have misidentified your desire for speed, movement, joy and life as "busy-ness"? Does the stress in your life stem from you thinking you have to slow down to fit in with the slugs around you? And slow is boring, so you create complexity to entertain yourself?
Would you be willing instead to function as the magic, elegant, perpetual motion machines you really are?
If so, as "What if I were the speed of space?" Space is a boundless, infinite expanse and fast beyond our comprehension. With access to boundless, infinite, instant creation, what will you choose to create? A "busy-ness" life? Or something else?
Think of something you'd like to change. A relationship, a job, money, body, life situation, society, government? Got it?
How willing are you to do whatever it takes to create that change? A lot? A little?
For example, would you like a constantly fresh relationship with your partner or work, rather than the daily maintenance you currently have? Or a society and government that seems filled with hate, fear and corruption?
If so, every morning wake up and consciously destroy and uncreate the think you'd like to change.
In other words, are you willing to do whatever it takes, including getting divorced, quitting your job, protesting and being fined or arrested?
You may or may not need to follow through. It's the energy or willingness that will clean your slate so you can start the day afresh.
So if you're not seeing the changes you'd like, ask "Am I willing to destroy and uncreate it all?"
Do you have a target? Great! It's always good to have something to aim at and shoot over. Aim for the moon so you can hit the stars, as they say.
What about goals? Got any of these: when I make a million dollars I'll be set; when I meet The One I'll be happy; when I'm promoted my parents will see me; what else?
Do you ever seem to achieve your goal? Or do you often find you get within reach, but never quite there? Do you ask questions like "What will it take for me to achieve X?" and then it doesn't happen?
Are you asking real questions, or have you decided what you want, and then stick a question mark at the end?
If you find yourself almost creating what you think you'd like, ask "What have I made significant?" and let it go. Whatever that is — a person, a dollar sign, a job, an event — remove that specific and ask another question.
Are you fabulous? Yes, of course you are! Faster than a speeding flapjack, more powerful than a grizzly toddler, and able to leap high obstacles at work and lego in the lounge room.
You can do it ALL. The question is, how much fun is it for you to do it all? Do you ever get a pain in your neck, or upper or lower back? Who's that pain and what's the burden weighing you down?
Did you know that kids — even the grown-up married-to-you kind — can do amazing things if you ask them? Do you ask them? Or do you smoulder under the "Can't they see how busy I am and why am I the only one who knows how to do this?" heap of mulch until you ignite?
If you have a hint of any burden on your back, or would simply like to increase the fun factor in your life, ask "What if I didn't have to do it all myself?"
And then invite others around you to contribute to their and your lives.
Do you like to help people in trouble? Is it easy? Do they shy away from you? Do they run? Are you frustrated or saddened when it seems that nothing you do makes the difference that you see is possible?
What to do? Truth, can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? No. No matter how great your skill, advice, experience, or expertise you cannot help someone if they don't want it. They must choose it.
Sometimes people just don't want to change. And sometimes they just don't know change is possible and that you can show them how.
How? Ask questions. First, ask yourself "What can they receive from me with ease?" What do you sense? Would they receive a light question? Or perhaps just your energy at first?
Then, if you sense the issue is related to self-worth, for example, invite them to a different possibility by asking directly or energetically "What's right about you that you're not getting?"
Be aware the issue may not be what you thought. Follow the energy, asking more questions until it lightens. Or until you sense that, for now, they will receive no more.
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Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right.
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