Are you frustrated or upset by anyone in your life? Is someone driving you crazy? Are they too loud, too bossy, too flaky, too up-down-turn-around, too...add your pet peeve here.
Would you like more ease in your life when you're around them, assuming you have to, or would like to be around them?
If so, ask “What am I grateful to them for?” and acknowledge them for that.
There will always be at least one thing, if not more. Parents who drive you nuts, and are always there to help you with your kids. A friend who is predictably unpredictable, and has shown you people function differently. A lover who picks insane fights, and is great at....um....other things.
When you acknowledge someone for who they are, and are grateful for their great bits, you are free and empowered to make the most of the great bits, without being at the effect of the rest.
If you have something in your life you've been trying to change continually to no effect, ask "What do I love about this?"
How willing are you to change or let go of things you love? Not much? Not at all?
Are you ever distracted by a fear that you will never have it again. For example, a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all?
When something is not working for you, first get clear on what parts of it you love.
Then you can ask other questions like "What would it take for me to find something else that would be an even greater contribution to my life?" and "What would it take for the parts of this that are not working for me, to change into something greater than I could imagine?"
When you become clear what you love about something – and are willing to let it go, or demand that it change – you will no longer be weighed down by it.
Instead, you will have the freedom to choose it, or not choose it. The reality is, you always have choice.
How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result?
What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them?
Or are they simply distractions that keep you from creating what you'd truly like?
If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business, life and change you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?”
This will clear such distractions so you see what you'd really like to choose. Then ask "What action can I take?"
Are you willing to have that much freedom?
Do you ever feel heat in your chest or pressure on your temples when someone says or does something you don't like? Do you find you can't think clearly, that you get angry or distracted from what you'd really like to do?
If you'd like to be free from the control and distraction of such uncomfortable physical sensations, recognise them as a sign you are in judgement. Then you can shift gear into allowance.
What is allowance? Allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view and you have total freedom of choice.
Judgement limits you to what you have decided (or someone has told you) is right/wrong, good/bad. It's like being on an automatic pushbutton system of resist/react or agree/align, where you have no freedom of choice.
So next time you have a physical reaction to someone, ask “Am I in allowance or judgement?”
If you find you're in judgement, say “Interesting point of view I have that point of view” and expand outwards and remind yourself “What if I had infinite, free choice?” Depending on what's going on, you might need to repeat this several godzillian times until the heat dissipates.
What if being free from judgement allowed you to create the change you'd really like to see?
How are you with money? Comfortable? Too much but never enough? Can you roll around on your bed in it and play? Or not?
If not, and you'd like to change that, ask yourself "What if I honoured myself with 10 per cent?"
Then, whenever money comes into your life, before you do anything else with it — even before you pay your bills — put aside 10 per cent of it for you and don't spend it.
Put it aside in cash, silver, gold or whatever else will keep or increase its value.
The key is to never spend it; keep it and watch it grow. As long as there is compound interest, it will grow. (Compound interest? Look it up.)
When you don't spend all your money, you realise you have it. And when you know you have money, how do you feel? Is it easier to smile?
And if you have any reasons, excuses, decisions, conclusion or any point of view about doing this, ask some questions. You can start by using all the questions that come up here when you search 'money' on this site.
Is someone bullying, gaslighting, or trolling you? Or maybe the opposite? Someone is trying to build you up, driving you to be or do something they think would be good for you?
What do you do? Do you resist and react against the bullies? Do you agree and align with the supporters?
In either case, where are you? If you'd like to find out, ask yourself "Am I trying to validate other people's realities?"
When you create your life in reaction/action against/for someone else you solidify their reality, not yours.
So if you'd prefer to create your life freely, with infinite possibilities that work for you, ask "If other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose?"
What are you finding tough in your life right now? Perhaps you're not able to do all the things you used to do? Maybe your study or work situation has changed? Or have you experienced challenges or changes in your circles of friends?
Whatever that is for you, if you'd like relief from the toughness ask yourself "What am I enjoying about this?"
For example, what new, interesting things have filled the space created by you not doing all the things you used to do? Have you been thrust into a different, more stimulating field of study or work? Maybe you've discovered a wonderful new bunch of people who see what you see? And perhaps the toughness has opened your eyes and mind to previously undreamt of possibilities and new realities?
There has to be something you're enjoying about your situation, if you'll only ask the question and look. Otherwise, you are choosing it for what reason?
Maybe you simply enjoy a challenge?
Is there something you're saving to buy or own? A car? A house? A piece of land? A yacht? A business? A special outfit? Some jewellery? New furniture? How much effort do you go into preparing to own it?
Or maybe you have already made the purchase, and are now busy looking after it? Car, house, land, yacht, business? How's the maintenance, insurance, and loan repayments going? Light and easy? Clothing, jewellery, furniture? Do you obsess or fret over their security or cleanliness? Perhaps you're already dissatisfied with your purchase and have started planning to upgrade?
Did you know that ownership is one of the biggest lies of this reality? It's a lie that can trap you in an endless cycle of enslavement.
Not sure? Think of something you 'own,' like your car or house, and ask yourself "Who owns this?" Do you really own it? Or does it own you, bleating for your constant feeding and attention?
The only thing you can ever own is you. Are you willing to own you? When you are, what if rather than focusing on 'owning' other things to look after, you simply invited them to show up, and come and play in your life? Would that be easier and more fun?
Are you confused about something? Perhaps on one hand, you've got people telling you ABC, while on the other hand, you have different people telling you XYZ?
What do you do? Do you spend hours researching things on your own, fervently independent? Perhaps you've decided to 'trust the authorities' 100 per cent and switch off to anything that's not from them? Or maybe a combination of the two?
Is it easy? Are you clear? If not, ask yourself "What is hiding in plain sight?"
What if the truth is obvious, if only you look and see?
And of course, when you look and see something, ask yourself "Is this light for me?"
After all, both sides may well simply be polarities on a single line, each seeking to manipulate or limit your awareness. And an infinite being would be limited for what reason?
What do you consider possible? Anything? Or do you have certain limits?
What are those limits? For example, what if your doctor told you you had an 'incurable disease'? Would you ask questions, considering the possibility that nothing is incurable? Or would you plunge into fear, fight and flight, ultimately resigning to what the doctor tells you, and follow the prognosis downhill?
What other hard limits do you have, about money, people, reality, what else?
Whatever limits you sense, ask "Am I entrained?"
Entrainment is where you are pulled along so strongly by someone or something, that you end up disregarding your own instincts, common sense, imagination, knowledge and experience.
Why do people and organisations seek to entrain you? Money, power and control are three simple reasons to start with, and there are likely an infinite number of others.
Remember, placebo is a recognised medical effect; your body can respond to what the mind tells it. This question can help you to recognise your thoughts may not be your own, and to regain control over your own mind.
How many points of view do you have about what is good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Probably quite a few, if not all, give that is how we are currently entrained to operate.
Consider this: does the earth consider anything good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Is nature in a constant state of anger, rage, fury and hate over 'important' issues?
No. The earth is in total allowance of everything. It has no point of view about its inhabitants. Certainly volcanos erupt, earthquakes happen, animals eat other animals, and all these things occur without judgement or significance.
If people did not exist, would the earth continue to be abundant and generative? Absolutely.
So if you would prefer an abundant and generative life like earth, ask "Am I making this significant?" Then whenever you notice you're making something significant, laugh lightly and repeat "interesting point of view" to move you from the limited denseness of significance into the infinite freedom of allowance.
What are you addicted to? Substances like your morning coffee? Mid morning junk food hit? Lunchtime cigarette? Afternoon chocolate bar? Evening G&T? Dinner bottle(s) of wine?
Or actions like all night TV binges? A 24/7 grip on your phone? Constant social media checking? Wine and whine sessions with friends? Playing the blame game? Wallowing in your victim complex? And of course any of the 'normal' things people consider 'addictions'?
When you engage in the behaviour you consider an 'addiction', are you 100 per cent present, creating your life the way you'd like?
If not, ask yourself "What is the purpose of my addiction?" In other words, what awareness could you be having if you weren't being distracted by the thing(s) you're addicted to?
Then you get to choose. And if you'd like to have greater awareness and be free of distraction to create your life the way you'd prefer, ask "What will it take for me to change this?" and take action, no matter how small.
How often do you hear someone say "good on you, you deserve that"? How often do you say it?
What does deserve mean to you? That you have to sacrifice or suffer to receive something? Some dictionary definitions are: to serve something zealously, to earn, to be worthy of, and to merit.
Consider this: does anything in nature 'deserve' what it receives? Do the birds need to be worthy of something to eat, drink and live a free life? No. So why should you have to?
If you'd prefer to live a joyous life, with ease and abundance, ask yourself "What if I didn't need to deserve?" What if instead of sacrifice and suffering, you choose to consciously create your life being the greatest contribution you can be?
And who exactly is reinforcing the idea that you should 'serve' them 'zealously'?
How often do you get upset? Have you ever considered you never need to be upset? It might seem a strange idea at first, given most of the world, and all of the media, runs on trauma, drama, upset, intrigue and struggle. The truth is, you can if you choose.
Simply start by asking yourself "What if I never needed to be upset?"
What is upset? Upset, trauma, drama, anger, intrigue and struggle can show up for various reasons. For example, you enjoy it, it entertains you, and so you create it. Nothing wrong with that if it's fun for you. (The media, for example, LOVES it.)
Upset can also show up when you're missing information. In this case, simply ask for clarity, for example "I'm sorry, I'm not clear on what you mean exactly?" Then listen, and ask more questions until the upset dissipates.
Another source of upset is simply that you're being someone else.
When you're totally aware and in allowance, where everything is just an interesting point of view, you will never need to be controlled, limited, or distracted by upset. Unless you enjoy and choose it.
What if you were always so aware that you never cut off your awareness? What life would you create then?
Are you aware of people actively working against you?
How do you respond? Do you feel you have no choice but to resist and react, to make choices based on what they've done or said? Do you try to prove you are/are not whatever they've said you are/are not? Are you distracted by the fight?
If you'd like another possibility, ask yourself "What if I outsmarted people who were trying to undo me?"
When you're aware of what's going on and willing to ask questions, you step into the possibility of out-creating those who seek to keep you trapped in their narrative. What if rather than resisting and reacting to other people, you take action based on what you know is true for you?
What if 'outsmarting' was as simple as seeing an obstacle and choosing to walk around it, rather than bash your head against it?
How many layers of protective personality do you find yourself wearing to suit every situation?
For example, the good son/daughter, the generous parent, the smart student, the diligent employee, the kind woman, the strong man, the understanding sibling, the polite stranger, the charismatic leader, the good-hearted volunteer? What else?
How do you feel under all those layers? Light and breezy? Or a bit heavy and stifled?
If you'd like to shed a few tonne, ask "What if I didn't need a facade?" What if you were, well just simply, you in ever situation? This is who you are and others can accept that, or not.
Would you feel lighter, like caked on makeup or mud has been washed away after how many decades? Would your real smile finally be seen? What amazing changes might that create?
And even if some people leave your life because they decide the real you is not for them, what other amazing people might show up?
Do you ever hear yourself saying "My life is terrible and I can't change it," or something similar?
Remember, your point of view creates your reality, so if that is your point of view, you are 100% correct.
If you'd like a different reality, ask "Would an infinite being truly choose this?" In asking this question, you invite the awareness of a different possibility.
If an infinite being wouldn't choose this, then why are you? The only reason you choose something an infinite being wouldn't choose, is to make yourself finite. You can certainly choose that if you wish. Or instead you could say "Would an infinite being choose a life that is terrible? What will it take to change it?"
What would you you like to create or change in your life right now? Whatever that is, are you looking to create or change it because you've decided it would be 'good' to, or 'bad' not to?
If so, and you prefer limitless rather than limited possibilities, ask "Have I decided this is good/bad?" If you notice you have, say "Interesting point of view I have that point of view. Now what else is possible?"
Good and bad are points of view. There is nothing wrong with having a point of view as long as you are aware that it is an "interesting point of view," that you change every ten seconds if you choose.
When you lock yourself into a judgement that a point of view is good/bad, right/wrong, you will only be able to see things that fit within the narrow polarised band of that judgement. Every other possibility will be excluded.
Be aware that a positive point of view can be as limiting as a negative point of view. Once you decide something is right, you may end up spending the rest of your life making it right...or being married to it.
On a scale of minus infinity to infinity, how powerful do you feel right now?
Who or what have you decided is more powerful than you? Is that true? Or is it an interesting point of view you've agreed and aligned with? Or perhaps you've decided it's better, or easier to give your power away?
Other people will always try to dis-empower you so they can control you and get you to do what they'd like.
Remember, a question empowers, so if you'd prefer to have the power to create your life the way you'd like, simply start with a question and ask yourself "What if I wasn't powerless?"
Truth, are you an infinite being with infinite choice and possibilities?
How do you make choices? Do you choose something, see what shows up, then make another choice? Or do you weigh up the pros and cons, considering what you need or don't need, trying to work out what is right or wrong?
How much freedom and possibility do you sense when making choices? If you feel heavy, then you may be limiting your choices based on pros/cons, needs/don't need, and right/wrong.
A simple way to step out of the pro/con/need/right/wrong limitation is to ask yourself "What choices are available that I haven't considered?"
Are you willing to consider that there are no pros/cons, need/don't need, or right/wrong choices? What if a choice was just a choice, an act to create awareness?
When you make a choice, you'll have an awareness, and then you'll get to make another choice. Every ten seconds.
Choosing from pro/con/necessity/right/wrong is a no choice universe. What amazing adventures could you have if you created your life from an infinite choice universe instead?
What's the difference between feeling comfortable and uncomfortable?
When you're comfortable, what do you do? Do you strive with intensity to create your life greater than it is? Or do you do settle into maintaining your comfort?
When you're uncomfortable, what do you do? Do you strive with intensity to create your life greater than it is? Or do you do settle into complaining about not being comfortable?
If you'd like to harness the intense energy of discomfort to create your life greater than it is, ask yourself "What if being uncomfortable was my best friend?"
Are you willing to acknowledge being uncomfortable as an awareness that your life can be greater?
What if when you're feeling highly uncomfortable you said "ah, just a little further to go!" and smile knowing that you're almost to the point of becoming something greater than you've ever been, and continue to choose it, ask questions, and take action?
You'll know when you go beyond the uncomfortable place, as you'll suddenly be totally comfortable and everything will be bigger and better than it ever was before. You can settle into that. Or you can continue to create more. All just choices.
What are you afraid of right now? Think of that, and then ask yourself "Is this reality, or fear?"
Fear can be real, for example when you're confronted by a lion. Real fear will cause immediate action to resolve the situation, ie run away from the lion.
Unreal fear is something different. Unreal fear is used by people for control, to make other people do what they say and take no independent action of their own. Inaction is a telltale sign of unreal fear.
Whatever your fear is right now, you have choices. For example, you can choose to constrict your universe to avoid ever having to confront your fear. Or you can choose to do what you're told and cement the unreal fear into your reality. Or you can ask yourself "Am I willing to do whatever it takes to change the thing I am afraid of?"
There is no right or wrong choice. They are simply choices. Choice create awareness and you can always make another choice, and another, and another ad infinitum.
It's worth remembering that a bully is only a bully as long as you agree to live in fear of what the bully might do. When you choose to step out of fear, you can see everything else that is possible. Are you willing to see the bullies in your life, acknowledge them for what they are, and choose for you?
When you see someone crying or in distress, what do you do? Do you reach out and try to comfort them? Or you give them a tissue and allow them to cry?
When you reach out to comfort them, how does it work out? Do they try to stop because crying is not the 'polite' thing to do? Do you get caught up in their world of trauma and drama? Do you feel bad for not being able to help them no matter what you do? Are they able to clear what's going on with them?
How much freedom and possibility do you sense in these responses? If you'd like to create space for people to move through their tears, ask "Am I willing to let them cry?"
Crying is not wrong. Have you ever noticed that when you've locked tension into your body to avoid something, your body will sometimes release this tension through tears?
Being in total allowance of someone as they cry, as they break apart so they can fall together, is one of the greatest gifts of caring you can be. You're not 'taking care' of them, you are caring about them enough to allow them to go through whatever they have to go through, and come out the other side.
Are you willing to allow people to ask for assistance when they require it, not when you've decided you need to make them feel better?
How many people tell you what to do or think every day, directly or indirectly? No one, a few people or almost everyone?
Who are they? Parents, family, friends, neighbours, community leaders, governments, the media and other complete strangers?
When you do what they tell you to do, how do you feel? Breezy and light? Great!
Did you know that sometimes people tell you to do something for a reason that has nothing to do with what they're actually telling you to do? So if you have a sense of discomfort or heaviness, and you'd like clarity about the truth of what's going on, ask yourself "What are they really trying to get me to do?"
When you get clear on the true aim of what people are trying to get you to do, your heaviness should lighten. Then choose for you.
Are you doing something you sense you'd rather not, but you're doing it anyway?
What reasons do you give yourself for doing it? That someone will be happy/accepting/impressed by what you're doing? That if you do this, then later that will show up and make it all worthwhile? That people are depending on you to save them?
If you're not clear, ask yourself "What am I being seduced by?" It might be an actual honeypot, it may be dreams of fame and glory, or it may be the idea you're being a hero-saviour. It may be something else.
Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Notice it, ask another question, and make a choice.
You may end up doing the exact same thing. The difference is you will be doing it from choice, not seduction and hopes of reward.
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