How often do you say 'because' every day? For example: I can't come tonight because [I have to work late]; I have to work late because [it's a job and better than nothing]; I'd love to do something else more fun for work, but I can't because [add your reason here].
Are the things you say after 'because' real? Or are they simply all your reasons and justifications for not doing something? When you really want something, do you find a way to create it, no matter what it takes?
If you'd like to create more of what you'd really like in life, notice every time you say 'because' and ask "What's possible that I haven't considered?"
You're not wrong when you say 'because.' If fact, you're absolutely right and that's what you'll create.
If you'd like something more than you currently have, questions will open your eyes and show you what else is possible. Then you can create it, if you choose.
Do you find yourself doing things you'd rather not? Sometimes even doing things you know are not good for you?
Do you do them because you've been told that not to do them would be shameful, that you'd be guilty of causing harm to others, or that you'd regret not doing them?
Are shame, guilt, and regret real and true? Or are they simply interesting points of view based on someone's view of right and wrong? Words designed to control you and coerce you into doing what other people want, while distracting you from creating the life you'd really like?
Other people will always try to get you to do stuff their way, using words to trick you into believing it's good for you.
If you'd like to be free from the control of distractors like this, ask "Is the thought of shame, guilt or regret distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?" Then see how light you feel.
You may end up choosing to do exactly the same thing, but not because someone tricked you into it. It will be your free and conscious choice.
What generative energy, space and consciousness could I be today that would create the life I desire with ease and joy?
How much effort do you use to create the study, work, business, relationships, and life you'd like? A lot or a little?
Do you think creating what you'd like must be hard work and controlled, take time, and come with trials and errors, ups and downs?
What if, instead, you could create like elegantly? Elegance is the greatest result with the least effort. Would you consider that cheating? Or being smart?
If you'd like to generate your life with greater ease, everyday ask "What generative energy, space and consciousness could I be today that would create the life I desire with ease and joy?"
This will remind you to BE the energy of your desire, and will unplug you from the push/pull entrainment of the world around you.
Then you simply need to be willing to perceive, know, be and receive what the universe shows you. Are you willing to be that aware?
Has anyone ever been angry with you to try and distract you from seeing what was true, either so you wouldn't see it, or so they didn't have to look at it?
For example, when you question someone because you sense they were lying. Did they get angry or indignant and say things like "I can't believe you are questioning me?!" Did that make you angry?
Do you get angry when people say things about you that aren't true?
One useful thing to know about angry is that it can indicate a lie. So next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself "Is there a lie spoken or unspoken here?" You will know. And if you'd like more clarity, stop and ask the other person "What do you mean by that?" Then listen.
Asking questions in the face of anger will move you from the auto-response of reaction, to the freedom of action, so you can create what you'd really prefer.
Do you like change?
Do you get excited when a new gadget is announced? When your work/life is rearranged? Your holiday plans are suddenly upended? When someone you regard highly does something you didn't expect? When your favourite coffee shop closes?
Or do you become annoyed, worried, frustrated, even angry? Do you try to make someone right or wrong? Do you start thinking something is "wrong with the world" and lament "if only things didn't change?"
What if nothing were wrong?
What if change was needed to create something even greater? So next time you feel uncomfortable about a change, ask "What if change were required?"
Then smile and enjoy what shows up next.
Are you comfortable with money? Or do you struggle with it and never seem to have enough? Even if you're not living hand-to-mouth, do you have the feeling you don't have as much as you need to do all the things you enjoy?
Or perhaps you've defined the things you enjoy to fit within the limited amount of money you've decided you have available to you?
What is your point of view about money? That it's greedy to have too much? There's not enough to go around? If you have a lot, then someone else will miss out? That you don't deserve it? It won't bring happiness? What else?
Are these points of view true? They are if they are your point of view. Remember, your point of view creates your reality.
So, if you'd like to change your point of view about money and create greater ease with it, ask "What's the value of having no money?"
If you discover there is little value, ask some more questions like "What if everything about money was for the fun of it?" and "If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?"
Before you call the police on this one, let me ask you: where is your comfort zone? Is it on the stage? Or on the couch?
How many of these are outside your zone: singing loudly, speaking in public, telling your best friend something you know they won't like, doing something you know is morally right but goes against an "authority," saying NO to anyone?
What else? What activity makes your heart pound, your hands go clammy and your head think "ooooooooh noooooo....not that!"? That. Whatever that is, that's outside your comfort zone.
How much does having a comfort zone help you create the life you'd really like? A lot, a little, or not at all? How much time do you spend thinking about the things you won't do, avoiding situations you think you think might lead you out of your safety zone? And how much fun are you missing out on? Whose life are you living? Yours or someone else's?
If you'd like a peak at the possibilities that lie beyond, ask "What if I played outside my comfort zone?" and dip a toe outside it. What's the worse that can happen? People might laugh. And laughing is good, right? So what if you joined in?
What's the best that can happen? Well maybe you just might change the world and start living your own life.
Do you encounter many angry people in your life?
When people do anger, are they ever really interested in hearing your point of view? Or is their main focus getting a reaction out of you? Are they interested in you being free to say and do what you prefer? Or are they looking to control you?
You know the exact moment your buttons are pushed and you become trapped in emotional reaction. Would you like to be free of that auto-response? If so, next time someone does anger at you, be Cute Not Bright. Stop and ask them "OK, what do you mean by that?" and listen.
Keep asking the same question and listen until the anger has gone.
Anger is a distractor people will use against you to see how you'll react, so they can find a way to gain control over you. Acknowledging the other person like this will take you out of reaction, and into action and enable you to create the life you'd really like.
Do you have a lot going on? Shopping, cooking, cleaning, kids duties, family duties, work needs, saving the world, and then fall in bed in a heap only to start it all over again in six hours?
How often do you say "I'd love to do that...but I don't have time"?
How many books would you like to read, movies to see, friends to catch up with, hobbies to enjoy, causes to support, projects to start, worlds to save, that you don't do because you "don't have time"?
Have you decided time and space are finite, and you can't change them to suit you?
If you'd like to do more of the things you enjoy in life, rather than having the duties and responsibilities you've decided you have to do to fill up your days, ask "What will it take for me to fold time and space?"
Science questions the bounds of time and space all the time. What if you played with it too?
What's your story? You know, the one you tell every time you meet someone new. The one you replay in your head like an old film? How does it go for you? Is it a roll call of well-known schools, colleges, companies, achievements and who you know? Is a tale of woe, misery, and hardship? Are you the victor? Are you the victim? Do you laugh? Do you cry?
Is it real? You point of view creates your reality. So if your point of view is that your story is your life, then it is real.
You are welcome to keep your story if it is working for you. Be aware that if you would like to create change in your life, re-runs of your story will serve only to re-create that life, over and over.
If you'd like to create a different life, you must be willing to give up all your old stories. If so, ask "What if I changed the story of my life?" Then make up something outrageously fun and rewarding to tell. Who know how quickly it could become real?
How's your body? Light and lively? Molecularly intertwined with the sofa? Or somewhere in between?
You have a body, right? Have you ever considered what you created it for? Did you create it simply to carry your all-important brain around? Or perhaps it was just to procreate and give brith to more brains with transport?
What if you created a body so you could enjoy the smells, tastes, textures, sights, sounds, movements, and all the other orgasmic physical sensations of life?
How much of that physical joy do you experience now? A lot, or not much at all?
If you sense you're no longer experiencing the full range that your body is capable of — and is probably champing at the bit for — as "Body, would you like to wiggle?" Then jiggle it a bit and see what it tells you. It might just take the lead and waltz you around the floor.
How seriously do you take your work, business, career, life in general? Do you spend long, worried house thinking about your future? Does life in general feel heavy? Do you sleep well?
Would you prefer to create your life with greater ease, joy and success in general? Then consider play.
Think of kids. Are they insatiably curious, boisterously energetic, manipulators extraordinaire, unwilling to take 'no' for an answer, and always see the reasons why you should do something (rather than why you shouldn't)?
Kids can have nothing but a stick and a puddle of mud, and yet create an entire universe. And when that creation is complete, do they smash it to smithereens, giggle and create another one? They smile, laugh and love every moment of life. This is the energy of play.
If you'd like more of this energy, ask "What if I created my life with play?" Including with these questions. Rather than taking them seriously, what if you played with them?
Do you know people who always try to make you wrong? Who put you down for not being clever enough, fast enough, hard working enough, or just make fun of you to get a laugh?
How do you react? Do you take it on, believe it's true and start to think you are wrong, and feel guilty for not being good enough?
Would you like to stop that now, please?
If so, next time someone tries to make you wrong for something, smile at them, and remind yourself whatever they're saying, or doing has nothing to do with you. Ask silently "Does making other people wrong make you right?"
No. Some people are just mean because it's fun for them.
What if you could see their mean brilliance, without being the effect of it? Would that make your life easier?
Imagine the best thing that could possibly happen to you right now. A better paid job? Any job? More fun people to hang out with? Simply being allowed to visit friends and family? A new car? $2000 suddenly appearing in your bank account? Your loans paid off? A great apartment in a fabulous part of town? A shack at the beach? Ten new clients? Retirement? Finding out you're pregnant? Finding out you're not pregnant? Going on a trip? World peace? An end to poverty and hunger? What else?
Do you dream, hope and fantasise about it? Perhaps you've had a taste and are waiting for the flood gates to open? Or you're wondering why it's taking so long, and that maybe you're not asking enough, or the right questions?
When did you decide that achieving this particular thing was as good as it gets? What if there were something even better that you can't see on your left, simply because you keep looking to your right?
If you'd like to see the sphere of possibilities around you, in all dimensions, ask "What is possible that I can't imagine?"
What makes you angry? Injustice? War? Poverty? Evil? Your partner coming home late from work every night? Your boss or co-workers being stupid and lazy? Your family not being willing to see your point of view about how to make the world a better place? What else?
I'm guessing you'd like to change these things for the better, and you become angry out of frustration, because you think you're supposed to be angry, or from the belief that anger will somehow create the changes you'd like?
Will it? Probably not. Two things that anger will create are: stress and toxicity in your body; and resistance and reaction in other people.
Will either of these things help you make the changes you'd like? No. They might even make it harder.
If you'd like to be free from anger's control, to create what you'd really like, ask "What will anger contribute here?" and then "What else is possible to create the changes I'd like to see?"
What if you could see anger for what it is: a distraction?
What does manipulation mean to you? Does it have negative connotations relating to taking an unfair advantage?
Did you know the word manipulate simply means skilful handling of objects and people?
How skilfully do you manipulate your reality now? Do you create the life you'd like? Or do you faithfully follow every decision and judgement handed down by other people, interpreting it as strictly as possible, and usually to your disadvantage?
If you'd like to handle your reality more skilfully, to create the life you'd really like, ask "What if manipulation was about creating more possibilities?"
What if you could see the possibilities between someone else's decisions (even laws) and manipulate — skilfully handle — reality to create the changes you desire, even legally?
Think of something you'd like to change. A relationship, a job, money, body, life situation, society, government? Got it?
How willing are you to do whatever it takes to create that change? A lot? A little?
For example, would you like a constantly fresh relationship with your partner or work, rather than the daily maintenance you currently have? Or a society and government that seems filled with hate, fear and corruption?
If so, every morning wake up and consciously destroy and uncreate the think you'd like to change.
In other words, are you willing to do whatever it takes, including getting divorced, quitting your job, protesting and being fined or arrested?
You may or may not need to follow through. It's the energy or willingness that will clean your slate so you can start the day afresh.
So if you're not seeing the changes you'd like, ask "Am I willing to destroy and uncreate it all?"
How much do you trust yourself? A lot, a little, or not at all?
Do you allow yourself to create your life as you follow its energy? Or do you think you have to have it all mapped out, approved, signed, sealed and delivered before you can take the next step? You've got to have a business plan, approved by the bank and authorities. Directions and principles ratified by your boss, parents, insignificant other, or even your children?
After all this, how light do you feel about creating your life?
If you feel like you're trapped in concrete shoes and can't move until you're clear about your next step, ask "What if I trusted myself more?"
Who knows most about you and your life? Everyone else? Or YOU. What if your hesitation or confusion about what to do next was simply missing information? And what if you already had that information, but just hadn't found it yet? Are you ready to ask yourself for it now?
Do you sometimes feel like you have no options? For example, you have NO CHOICE but to look after your elderly parents, make your kids do homework, stay late at the office, cancel your holiday, pay for dinner, host the family at Christmas, get married, get a job, buy a house, have kids, stay at home, take a medicine, follow the rules.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of these things. It's simply your point of view if you don't like something.
If your point of view is that you don't like it, and you'd prefer something else, instead of defaulting to the No Choice version of life, ask "Who or what is limiting my choices?"
Once you become clear about whether it's you, or someone or something else limiting your choices, you can ask more questions to create what you'd really like. For example, "What else is possible?" "What will it take for X to show up?" or "What action can I take?"
This is a free-will universe, remember? There is always choice. What if you stopped being your greatest limitation?
What does infinite mean to you? No limit? Endless? Abundant? More than you can imagine?
How many possibilities do you feel you have in your life right now? Lots, a few, not many, or the ones that will make my parents/ teachers/ boss/ partner/ children/ friends/ government happy?
Last time I checked with science, it said that we live in a free-will universe and we can choose freely. If that's true, then how can you not have infinite possibilities?
Who or what is limiting your choices? You, or someone else?
If you'd like to unleash the possibilities in your life, ask "What if I had unlimited possibilities?"
You may then need to ask more questions to generate specifics, like time, money, health and so on. This question is simply the first step to flush away your autopilot self-limitation, and to remind you that you always have a choice.
Do you have something you'd like to do, but are finding it tough to complete, or perhaps even start?
What's that for you? Pass an exam, get a job, run a business, buy a house, go on a holiday, meet a fun girl/boy to hang out with, have children, exercise, get up in the morning, relax at night, change the world?
And what about the not-so-much-fun stuff? For example, tell your parents something they don't know (uh-oh), quit/change schools, quit/change jobs, write something, host something, exercise, tell someone you're moving on, nurse someone in their decline, let go of a loved one, question the accepted narrative?
When did you decide life had to be hard and suffered? Would you like a life of fun and ease instead?
Ease does not mean laze. It means doing the most complex thing with the greatest joy and to the maximum effect. If so, ask "What if I could do this with ease?" and breeeeeeeathe.
Are you plagued by past events? Bugged by people who "did you wrong" somewhere, sometime, long ago? Do events and people from 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago seep into your dreams and shake you awake? Do you think "If only I'd done/said X it would have all been different?" Do you finally have the perfect retort?
If you'd like to be free of the past to enjoy your present, ask "What have I made significant about the past that isn't true?"
If you had not created your life exactly the way you have — including all the not-so-great episodes — would you be the same person you are now?
Would you prefer to be the now-you, or a different-you? If you are happy being the now-you, then remind yourself by asking "What if there was nothing wrong with my past?"
And if you'd prefer to be a different-you, you can be. Just choose it.
Who in your life have you made so perfect, so necessary that you let them walk all over you and sell you down the river?
Do you truly need anyone else in your life? Having people around can be a wonderful and fun experience. Do you need them? No, especially if you're their punching bag.
Why do you make some people indispensable, even though they're an ELF or a rattlesnake? To pay the rent? To be there for your kids? To manage your books? To have a coffee with? To save the free world?
Could you find other people to contribute those things in your life? Probably.
So if you find you are yet again being taken for a ride by someone you think is perfect, or necessary and you've told yourself you can't live without, ask "What am I refusing to see?"
You might just see that they are not as indispensable as you thought they were, and your life might get a whole lot easier. Allowance is not a doormat.
Are you finding it hard to giggle and hoot, wiggle and skip? What about a hint of a smile? Is even that hard?
Do you remember laughing all the time when you were a kid? When did you buy the idea that you had to give up your non-stop hysterical giggling and "get serious"?
Do you still believe that? Do you think it wouldn't suit you? That you're too old to be silly? That you've got to keep things organised and on track? That you're the responsible one and if you don't do it, no one will, and so there's no time for frivolity? And after all, you have to save the world?
What if you could run a well-oiled machine, help all the ducks and kittens do what ducks and kittens need to do, smile, giggle, hoot, wiggle and skip at the same time, AND save the world?
What if a bit of a giggle even made you look and feel younger and gave you more energy...(to save the world)? Like to find out? Then ask "What if I didn't take myself so seriously?" and start with a smile.
Do you have someone in your life close to death, or who has just passed? Are you overwhelmed by sadness or buried in mourning? Perhaps you're exhausted by trying to help them hang on? Would you prefer another option?
If so, ask "What if death wasn't what I thought it was?"
What if birth and death were two sides of the same coin? Both transitions into something new, unknown, undefined?
We honour and celebrate birth. We smile with joy when we see the limitless possibilities of a newborn baby. What if death brought us similar freedom and possibilities?
And what if your smile and conscious choice to celebrate and acknowledge the memories of a life lived -- no matter how great or small -- created space and peace for the transition beyond? Could that bring greater ease for you around death?
What gift could you be to the person passing?
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