Do you find yourself behaving in way that is, well, not quite you?
Like getting really cranky, crying like a madwoman, throwing a floor-fist-banging tantrum, being distracted by a pointless fight with some faceless idiot online, or otherwise doing something you know is crazy and not you, but you can't seem to help it?
What if it wasn't you? To find out, ask “Who am I being now?”
We pick up all sorts of stuff from those around us, from our parents, teachers, friends and pretty much everyone. This question is designed to remind you that maybe it really isn't you.
Then you can ask “If I were me, who would I be?”
If you're a parent, try it with your kids. Are they mad as hell or being a drama queen?
Ask them gently without heat “Who are you being now?” Don't be surprised if they reply “YOU!!”
Then ask “If you were you, who would you be?” and listen. At the very least it might crinkle their universe and stop the drama spiral for a second or two. At best, their whole life might change.
Do you love to read and research trying to make sense of the world, or to seek the truth about what is best for you and yours?
Are you excited when you uncover a new piece of information? Sometimes do you find your sense of excitement, lightness and possibility growing heavy? Maybe you experience this light-heavy-light-heavy cycle continuously?
Remember that what's true for you always makes you lighter and a lie for you always makes you heavy.
So what is it when you sense the heaviness of a lie, and yet the issue plays on around and around in your head, keeping your attention? If you'd like to find out, next time this happens when reading an article, watching a video, or having a conversation with someone, ask yourself "Is this a truth with a lie attached?"
If you feel a lightness, then ask "What part of this is true?" (it will feel lighter) and "What part of this is a lie, spoken or unspoken?" (it will feel heavy).
These questions can help you pick your way through the myriad stories on sale without you being compressed into a solid block of granite.
How light would you be if you could pull apart all the stories with ease, and know clearly what's light for you, rather than feeling like you have to buy the whole bundle and then tie yourself up with reasons and justifications for doing so?
Better still, what if next time you find yourself about to tumble down a rabbit hole or into someone's trauma and drama, you simply choose lightness? Go outside and play with the kids/pets/partner, have a sleep, do some gardening, watch a funny movie, ANYTHING that is light for you.
How much of everything we hear is part true and part a lie? What could you create as your life if you considered it all an interesting point of view?
Much gratitude again to Dr Dain Heer for this one.
Ever heard a story or two million? What about the stories you hear on social media, or the nightly news? Are they true? Are they fake?
How much of story telling is someone trying to get you to do what they want? Or at least confuse you about what is really going on?
What if none of it were real or true? What if all stories were simply interesting points of view?
If you'd like to be free to create your own life as you'd like, ask "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell, or buy the story?" Then check in with what feels light to you and choose that.
Repeat. Every time you hear a story - in person, from social media, mainstream media, the government or any other 'authority' or source - ask "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell, or buy the story?"
Then check in with what feels light to you and choose that. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat X infinity.
Sure you can enjoy a story for the heck of it. At the end, say “Wow, that was a terrific story! Thank you [for the entertainment]! What an interesting point of view!"
And then ask yourself "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell or buy the story?" Check in with what feels light to you and choose that. You get the picture.
What in your life right now has slapped you on the face like a wet fish? Is something going on that has apparently come out of nowhere and bitten you on the bum?
Like being told to stay at home and restrict your activities for months on end with three kids, and then there's a power outage? Or something even more challenging?
Whatever that is for you, when you find you're trapped in an "OMG this is terrible" cycle of stress and worry ask "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" And keep asking it over and over, even if you don't believe it or feel it.
What if there was ALWAYS something right about a 'bad' situation? Like rediscovering old fashioned board games or actual books to keep everyone entertained. Or seeing the world from an entirely new perspective and reevaluating your life choices? How does it get any better than this?
Listen to what people talk about. What percentage is a complaint or a problem? Trauma and drama? Ninety-nine percent? Or more?
Did you know that you get more of what you focus your attention on?
So if you'd like fewer problems and more joy in life, inject a little gratitude into your conversation.
Crinkle someone's universe by saying something like “I am so grateful for the lockdown; it made me look at my life in a totally different way” or “I am really grateful that their lying is so obvious; now I know to look into everything they say and do and so I won't get caught out” or “How did I get so lucky seeing beautiful blue skies? Not being able to travel means I can spend more time connecting with my local community.”
What if you found one thing to be grateful for every day and told someone?
Perhaps you'll surprise people and they'll stop complaining mid-stream? You may even infect them with gratitude and spread it to others?
Or you may just have giggle on your own because you're grateful you have toilet paper. So ask, “What am I grateful for today?”
Do you have days/weeks/months when things are just not working the way you'd like to?
When people tell you “No!”, “You can't do that!” and “That's not how things are done now!” You've got great ideas, lots of energy, and a desire to contribute, but everyone around you is saying "NO!"
Does this frustrate, upset or disappoint you? Do you find yourself stuck inside, sitting on your couch despondent and dispirited, reacting to all the trauma and drama around you?
If so, next time your you hear someone say “No” say to yourself “OK. Got it. That doesn't work right now. I wonder what else is possible?” Then pay attention and see what comes to mind. You might surprise yourself with different point of view about what action to take.
Even just asking a question is taking action, and of course you can ask "What action can I take?" Taking action is you creating your life, rather than suffering it as a reaction to everything around you.
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Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right.
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