Have you ever noticed yourself striving to have someone else — your boss, your co-worker, your parents, your partner, your kids, or even random strangers — see you and acknowledge you and what you're doing?
Like when you started a job or project and throw yourself into it enthusiastically 24/7. Do you do that purely because it's fun for you? Or are you doing some part (even all) of it to prove your worth to someone else?
Does anyone ever acknowledge your value? When they don't, what do you do? Do you react, working even more frantically on it? Or maybe you do the opposite and completely lose motivation?
If you'd prefer an alternative, when you notice people's lack of interest in what you're doing, ask yourself "What if I didn't need to prove how valuable I was?" Then if you sense the project is not really fun for you and you were only doing it to prove something to someone, you can choose to simply stop.
Or if your sense of excitement about the project grows, with allowance say to yourself "Aah well, I wasn't doing it for them anyway. I'll keep doing it 'cause it's fun for me! Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone"? All just choices valid for 10 seconds at a time.
Do you run a small business? How easy do you find it to ask to be paid?
It might sound strange that many people, especially in health, wellness and other care-giving fields have trouble asking for money. They're in it to help people and would probably do it for nothing if they didn't have to buy themselves food and shelter. People also have a variety of points of view about money.
If you're someone who enthusiastically contributes to other people and finds it to be paid for your work, practice saying this "Can I have the money now please?" Repeat the phrase over and over, simply, factually and with a smile. Then next time you're about to work for someone, say it before you start the job and gratefully receive the payment.
How much more do you value things you've paid for? What if asking for payment in advance contributed more value to your business than you could possibly imagine? And at the very least, you'll be paid.
Are you trying to tell someone about something important? You've got clear evidence about something that you know your friends/family/partner/colleagues should really know about and you're desperate to tell them. It might even be a matter of life and death, or maybe you're excited and think they'd be really interested?
Has it been easy to tell them? Every time you open your mouth have they shouted you down/belittled you/gaslighted you/rolled their eyes/walked away/what else? And yet you keep trying, right?
If you'd like to create a different dynamic, then ask yourself "What if I just shut up?" Then stop talking.
Then next time when someone asks "How have you been?" or "What are you doing these days?" try describe in in one word. When they ask "What's that mean?" have one short sentence to describe what it is, and say it in a tone of voice like it's boring and that you don't really want to talk about it.
For example, I might say say "freedom." Often they reply "Freedom for what?" to which I reply "Freedom to change anything you'd like in life that isn't working the way you'd like." Another goodie is "Oh, your life is fine, you wouldn't be interested."
When people think you don't want to tell them something, they will often be inspired to ask questions. Questions create possibility and this is a small opening for you to invite them to consider something they might never have thought of before.
How? Ask them a question, For example "Well what don't you feel you're free to do in your life right now?" and then "Any ideas about how you could change that?" Shut up. Listen. Smile. Question. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
How many people do you meet who have such fixed points of view that they are never able to see beyond what they have decided is true, even when it smacks them in the face?
If you'd like someone to see beyond their self-imposed limitations, ask yourself "What wedgie could I ask?" A wedgie is a question that creates discomfort in someone's universe and is designed to get the other person to ask a question.
For example, when you notice someone has fixed points of view about something, instead of being triggered, trying to prove, or defending your own points of view by giving them too much information, make them uncomfortable by asking a wedgie.
For example, in total allowance say "Interesting. What if everything was the opposite of what it appears to be?" or "What if there was something about that situation that is a lie?"
Then stop talking. Sometimes you'll even need to let them sit with your question for weeks, until the discomfort becomes unbearable and they have to return and ask a question.
Questions create possibilities and now you have a tiny space to invite them to see different realities. Be gentle. Listen to them in total allowance and ask them lots more questions.
Are you waiting for something to show up, or someone to do something for you, before moving forward with your life?
Maybe you've heard rumours that the government or your company will make changes to benefit you, and you're waiting for that before doing anything?
Or perhaps you're pinning your hopes and dreams on someone appearing in your life to make it better?
While you've waiting, how's your life going? Are you creating it the way you'd like? Or do you feel stuck, frozen or stagnated, waking up every day hoping you can move forward again?
If you'd like to get your life moving again, ask "What if I didn't need to wait to create my life?"
Remember, you're an infinite being with infinite free choice. What amazing new life could you create simply by choosing for you and taking action? *No waiting required.
The reality is, you always have a choice.
When someone tells you to do something, and you do it, you are choosing to do what they tell you. Another choice would be to look at what they're telling you, see how light it feels for you, and say "Thanks for the suggestion. That doesn't work for me right now. I'm choosing something else."
How many things are you choosing now based on what someone else is telling you? None, a few, a lot, or everything in your life?
If you're completely happy with your life the way it is right now, great! If not, and you realise you've been choosing to be controlled by other people, ask yourself "Am I willing to create a completely new reality on planet earth?"
Remember, you're an infinite being with infinite free choice. What amazing new reality could you create simply by choosing for you?
Do you ever feel obliged to act on, or speak out about something in life? You see something that needs to be done, or said, and you wade in with your abundant energy, experience and professionalism, sleeves rolled up ready to get things organised and put things right?
How does that work out for you? Do you find yourself overloaded with obligations? Dragged into no-win fights? Frustrated that you can see the most elegant of outcomes, if only the ducks would let you line them up?
If you'd prefer to have the ducks line up without being asked, ask yourself "What truth could I see if I observed?"
You have to be willing to observe to see what's true. When you can see what — and who — is true, you'll be able to side-step all the distractions, roadblocks, obstacles, bullies, gaslighters, trolls, demons and more to reach your destination 1000 times faster than the speed of light.
Ducks may even cooperate without being asked.
How many people do you see fighting everyday? In the world, your neighbourhood, your city, your country, and across the planet? People focused entirely on using logic, facts, science, persuasion, coercion, bribery, blackmail and trickery to have everyone agree that their point of view is right, and to condemn that all other points of view are wrong?
Pretty much everyone, all the time, right?
What does this create for you, for the world? Peace, joy, happiness, and the life you'd truly like? Or does it create endless fighting and limitation? Could the ultimate toxic waste on the planet be the anger, rage, fury and hate that people deliver to each other daily?
What change could you create if you functioned from allowance, where everything is an "interesting point of view" with no agreement or alignment (positive polarity) or resistance and reaction (negative polarity)?
When everything is just an interesting point of view, you have the freedom to create choice in your life, in the world.
Freedom to create choice by being in allowance is the most valuable thing on the planet. Are you willing to be it? If you'd like to find out, ask "Am I willing to be the most valuable thing on the planet?"
Then every time anyone says anything or seeks to drag you into a fight through alignment and agreement or resistance and reaction, smile and say "interesting point of view."
Breath, then make a choice and ask a question.
How often do you share your point of view about something — how to do something, where to go, who to work with, when to do something, what to write/say/do — but someone else comes in and tells you/everyone their different point of view and somehow you end up feeling wrong or useless?
Do you then go along with that different point of view, to please them/everyone? And how does that work out for you? Always, sometimes, not often, or never at all?
If you'd like to reduce/eradicate the number of times it never works out for you, ask yourself "Am I willing to know when I'm correct?"
Then whenever you have an awareness about something, regardless of what other people say, choose what you know to be correct for you.
Have you had an upset with someone recently? How is it sitting with you? Heavily?
If so, ask yourself "What if I make this infinite?" Then get all those feelings you have about the upset, and expand them. Make them bigger than the universe, then infinite. Don't make them eternal. Make them infinite.
How do you do it? Just ask. No need for any special techniques or breathing or anything. Just ask.
What sense do you have about those feelings now? Did they get more substantial, or did they dissipate?
Lies will dissipate with this question. Now think about someone you care about and repeat this exercise. Things that are true become stronger.
If you'd like to live only with what is true, make everything infinite, always. Lies will dissipate and the truth will be clear.
Have you ever had someone judge you for doing something — that you knew was not true — and wondered if they were actually talking about what they were doing? For example, when a partner accuses you of cheating on them (and you know you're not), did it occur to you that they might be doing the cheating?
Did you know that people will accuse you of the things they're doing, or about to do, so you won't see what's actually going on? Instead of seeing the truth about what's going on (which is usually quite obvious), you'll be distracted by compulsion to fight and defend yourself, or you'll slink away feeling bad and wrong about yourself.
When this happens, do you get angry? Anger in these circumstances can indicate a lie: the lie the other person is telling.
So, if you'd like to stay aware of what is going on and extract yourself from someone's control, ask yourself "Does this anger indicate a lie?" If you sense it does, all you need to do is to notice your anger, recognise the accusation is a lie, don't buy it as real, and you won't be impacted by it.
Be in allowance of them and you. Don't defend or judge it because if you align and agree, or resist and react, you are buying it as true. Instead ask questions. "What is this? Would I like to change it? Can I change it? If so how? You may not have to do anything. You may simply have to acknowledge it to change it.
And, if you'd like to have some fun and get yourself off auto-pilot. play this game in your head. Whenever someone says "You are mean" tell yourself "Aaah, they're telling me they are mean" or when someone says "You judge me all the time" tell yourself "Aaah, they are telling me they judge themselves/me all the time" And so on. Play with it. At worst it might just keep you distracted from being distracted.
Do you ever find yourself trying to prove something? Spouting lists of facts to show how smart you are? Working 80 hours a week to prove you're successful? Spending all your money on the latest fashion so others will think you're attractive? Exhausting yourself on something to prove you're the best at it, whatever that is (best parent, best worker, best volunteer, best friend etc).
Do you ever really feel smart, successful, attractive or the best at what you're doing? If not, ask "What's the opposite of what I'm trying to prove?"
When you're trying to prove something, your real point of view about yourself is the opposite. And the more you hold that point of view, the more it solidifies.
What if you didn't need to prove anything? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being exactly who you are could change the world?
What if all you had to do was change your point of view?
If you ever sense strange, heavy, dense or contracted energy, or you're continually stuck in choosing bad relationships, no money, sickness or something else, ask yourself "Have I invited in demons?"
A demon is an entity that has the job of contributing energy to whatever you are choosing, particularly when you make someone or something greater than you, but you are actually seek to have power over it. Like when you put your partner on a pedestal, then make them wrong for leaving the pedestal.
That's a demon's job: to get power over. Be aware, a demon's job of getting power over includes you. So while they may serve you at first, you will ultimately be under their control and may find you're unable to create the things you'd really like.
You may have consciously or unconsciously invited one in to help you get power over your relationships, money, health or any other aspect of your life. Inviting one in opens a door for others to follow.
So if you sense you may have invited demons into your life, and you'd prefer they leave now, simply demand "Go back from whence you came, never to return to me or this reality ever again." Repeat this as many times as you need until the strange, heavy, dense or contracted energy disappears. This is not hard or fearful. You just have to choose it, demand it, and they will have to leave.
How much are you focused on destroying something? You've seen something 'bad' or 'wrong' in the world, and so you're do everything in your power to destroy it.
Does it preoccupy you 24/7, tire or even exhausted you?
How much energy do you spend on creating what you'd like instead? A lot, a little or not much at all?
If you'd prefer to create what you'd actually like with greater ease, ask "What if I didn't have to destroy to create?"
What if instead of gifting your energy to what you DON'T desire, you gifted it entirely to what you DO desire? What amazing things would you create then?
Do you ever feel weird or wrong? You're not quite sure what it is, but something is just not quite right.
Or when everything in your life seems to be going along really well, but then takes a dive. Or when things start, then stop, then start, then stop over and over, keeping you stuck and going no where?
If so, ask "What am I aware of that I don't want to be aware of?"
Whatever comes to mind, notice it, ask another question and make another choice. Asking a question and making a choice creates awareness. not an answer.
What if you considered your life to be a constant creation of ease, joy and abundance, rather than a quest for a perfect answer?
Are you stuck in a no-win fight with someone about something that is going on in the world?
How's that working out for you? Do they ever see your point of view? Do you enjoy being gaslighted or belittled as they try to make you wrong?
If you'd like to shift your no-win situation and create real change, ask "What if I didn't' need to defend this reality?"
When you contribute energy into defending a reality (as you think you must to save the world), do you change reality? Or do you help solidify it, including all the aspects you're fighting to change?
It's only when you're willing to stop defending and lose everything, that you can create something entirely new.
So what amazing things could you create if you focused on what you'd like as your new reality, rather than being stuck in defence?
What do you do when something goes 'wrong'? Do you think clearly and ask yourself calmly "What's right about this I'm not getting?" Or do you get upset?
What happens when you get upset? Does your awareness expand, or contract? Can you see and create more, or less?
There is nothing wrong with being upset. Choose it if it's fun for you.
If you'd prefer to be free of trauma and drama and have greater possibilities, ask "What choices would I have if I weren't upset?"
What if by living from allowance — where everything is simply an interesting point of view — trauma and drama and upset and intrigue vanished, no one and nothing could control you, and everything in your life got easier? Would that be fun?
Is something always breaking down or going 'wrong' in your life? Perhaps you always have something that keeps popping up to bother you, that you'd rather not think about?
For me it was cars. I say cars because I have gone through a few. Three at least were written off from water leaks (radiator, sunroof and cooling system). Bottom line, they were all old car which sprung a leak one way or the other, and I should have paid them attention.
But I didn't and so ultimately they were written off. Only one was covered by insurance.
So if you have something that is always breaking down, or even slightly tugging on your attention, ask yourself "What haven't I handled in my life?" Then whatever comes to mind, pay it attention.
What if by gifting your attention for five minutes, you saved yourself hours of time, piles of cash, not to mention years of worry lines?
Do you feel anxious or stressed about finding an answer to something you've decided is a problem?
When the thing or person you've decided is the answer doesn't turn out like you'd hoped or dreamt, what do you do?
Do you ask a question, take action, make a choice?
Or do you react by spiralling into uncertainty, inaction, depression, rage, blame, shame, guilt, regret or any other distraction? If so, and you'd like to change this reaction ask "What have I misidentified as the answer?"
Then ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" There's always something. You just have to ask to see it.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by things in life that you seem unable to change? If so, ask "What tools can I use to change this?" Start with these basic five.
Remind yourself that
- you're an infinite being with infinite free choice
- everything is just an interesting point of view
- what feels light is right for you
- a choice will always create awareness; so choose, notice what shows up, choose again, repeat
- nothing has to be fixed and you can choose something new every ten seconds, and
- a question will always create more possibilities
Are you amazed at the miracle you be? Or have you decided that you're nothing special or good-for-nothing?
Whatever your point of view about yourself is, you're not wrong. Remember, your point of view creates your reality.
So if you're not ecstatically happy with your life and living, and would prefer an amazing, miraculous life, then ask "What miracle am I that could change this?"
What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if you simply needed to change your point of view?
How often do you stop yourself from doing something you'd prefer to do, or that you know is the light choice for you? Never, sometimes, or all the time?
When you stop yourself, are you limiting your choices based on what your parents, teachers, religious or other authority figures, friends, or even strangers have decided you should do what they tell you?
If you'd prefer to create your life from unlimited choices, ask "What if I gave myself permission?"
Then you can choose for you. You may still make the same choice your parents/teachers/authority figures/friends/strangers would have had you make. The difference is that you now have access to unlimited possibilities, free from the limitations other people try to impose on you to control you.
After all, who's living your life and who knows what's best for you: them or you?
Have you lost a job or a business? Do you have more time than normal on your own? Maybe your activity schedule has been disrupted or put on hold?
Or perhaps you've seen the world in a whole different light for the first time?
Whatever it might be, if you've experienced an uncomfortable change in your life and you'd like to move on with ease, ask "What can I learn?"
It might be a new skill to get a new job or business, or to fill in time on your own or a gap in your social calendar.
Or it simply might be to start asking questions, about everything, always.
Had a tough year? Have you had to rearrange your life? Lost a job? Struggled with money? Argued with friends and family? Been isolated or felt alone?
If so, and you'd like to change how you feel about it, ask "What's the gift of all this?"
Maybe you've been gifted time or space to do something you'd wanted to for a while? Perhaps the shake up gifted you a fresh perspective on what you truly desire as your life and living? Have new people who appeared in your life been the gift of friends who finally 'get' you? Did being alone gift you an awareness of your true strength and abilities? What else?
There is always a gift. You just have to turn over all the stones and be willing to see it.
What do you do when you're full of energy and ideas, seeking to create wonderful new things?
Do you stay focused on your target? Or are you distracted by the myriad of things you've decided could go 'wrong' and all the people who you know will try and bring you down?
Do you experience any physical sensations of dis-ease, in your stomach, head, neck, chest, or anywhere else?
If you sense you're being sucked into the vortex of distraction, ask "What will it take for me to be ease?"
When you're at ease, you function from elegance: creating the greatest amount with the least effort by following the energy of what's light for you and considering nothing 'wrong,' simply right things you don't yet get.
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