How often do you limit your choices, before you even consider them, by deciding you don't have the time or the money?
Time and money are two reasons (excuses) people will always give for not doing something. What if you took them out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose?
To find out, ask “If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?”
Once you are clear on your true desire, you can ask other questions to make it happen, for example
Make sure you ask for more than you think you want, or can even imagine, without incurring hardship, by adding “...with ease, or something greater?”
Do you find you other people are always telling you what to do, things that you'd rather not do, and convince you to give up the things you prefer?
Other people will always try to get you to do things, using obligation and guilt to control you. Why? It makes their lives easier, and you usually do what they tell you to, so why not?
Listening to other people's points of view can be useful. You can learn a great deal. And did you know that when you don't feel light and wonderful about a request or demand, you don't have to do it?
Next time someone asks/tells you to do something, first ask yourself "Does this work for me?" If it light light and breezy, then go ahead and do it.
And if not, smile and with a light, joyful energy say “Thank you so much for thinking of me! Great idea! It doesn't work for me right now. What will it take for you to find someone to get it done?
Then smile again and change the subject. You are stating a fact about which no one can argue (it doesn't work for you right now). Don't offer a reason or excuse; these only allow the conversation to continue.
If people push you, smile again and say “I'm sorry, it doesn't work for me. It's an interesting idea and I'm sure other people will be keen." And if that still doesn't work, smile and walk away/hang up/delete/block/ whatever it takes until your lightness returns.
What do you do when things don't fit into the form and structure you've decided your life must have? When things vary or change? Like now, for example. Old normal gone. Enter 'new normal.'
Do you say “Oh that's interesting. It's different! It's something I never thought about! I wonder how much fun we can have? I wonder what new better and beyond normal can I help create?”
Or do you react with upset and say “This is strange/crazy/stupid. If they only did it this way life would be better! OMG how can I put up with this?”
How much stress or unhappiness do you have because you've decided things have to be a particular way?
If you'd like less stress and more happiness in your life, ask "What if form and structure had no significance?" Then
How? Ask more questions. There's a bunch here www.thedailyq.co you can start with.
How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result?
What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them?
Or are they simply distractions that keep you from creating what you'd truly like?
If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business, life and change you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?”
This will clear such distractions so you see what you'd really like to choose. Then ask "What action can I take?"
Are you willing to have that much freedom?
One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect.
The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, the right person for the job, the right product, the right strategy. The One.
Why? It stops you looking for anything greater and blinds you to other possibilities.
So even if you think your work, business, relationship, strategy or life is working very nicely right now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?”
This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in the business of change. Questioning the people and strategies you think are the answer, can make you an industry leader and innovator.
And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before with the same people, it will be because that is still the most generative option. Not because you were stuck in a rut or blinded.
Do you feel your life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? Or perhaps it bores you?
Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? How often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy, to do something for someone else?
Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when 'things need to be done,' start by asking “What else could I add to my life?”
For example, what if you added a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or asked your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss, technology to do more (or something!)?
Perhaps you've started a new project, or have a new target you'd like to reach, or surpass?. What information/joy/playfulness/support/else could you add to your life to help generate this with ease, or something greater?
What if simply sprinkling a smile here and there throughout your day created more than you could possibly imagine?
What would you like to have show up in your life?
A great new job, a successful business, smart staff, more customers, reliable suppliers, an investor, money, greater ease, less stress, better health, more fun? For life to become better than the normal you had before the fear and panic? Something else?
Whatever that is, invite it into your life by asking "What's it going to take for X to show up?"
Be aware of the specific details of your question. For example, if you ask for the 'perfect job,' you may create a job based on other people's expectations of perfect, including how long and hard you have to work, doing whatever your boss says even if it makes no sense, taking sides in office politics, and so on.
So instead, be clear on what you'd like by asking, for example “What's it going to take for [a rewarding job that I enjoy and allows me to extend my talents, with flexible, fun, creative people] to show up, that would contribute to my life more than I can imagine, or something greater?”
Make sure that when you ask, you let go of any conclusions you might have made about what it will look like, and how it will show up, and be willing to receive it when it does. You never know what might happen when you ask a question.
Is something going on in your life that has you stuck and unable to take action? For you to be unable to change something, you have to have decided or concluded something about it.
Ask yourself, what have you decided in your life right now that is perfect, or the answer? A relationship? A job? A business? A government strategy?
When you can see your decisions – and are willing to let them go – all change becomes possible.
So when you're stuck and unable to make the changes you'd really like, ask “What decisions, conclusions, and answers have I made about this?”
This does not mean you have to end the relationship, give up on the job/business quest, or become an anti-government activist. Once you are aware of limitations you have created through decisions and conclusions, you can choose to transform them into something else.
Perhaps into even something better than you could have ever imagined. How? Just ask another question, such as "What information do I need?"
Whatever you've got going on – great or not so great – it can always get better. You just have to ask.
What bad things are going on with you right now? Perhaps you've run out of essential supplies, lost your job, closed your business and went bankrupt, are stuck in a confined space, are unable to travel, got dumped by the love of your life, got sick, or [list your own not-so-good stuff here _________________]?
What about the good things? There's got to be something. Are you enjoying spending more time with your immediate community and family? Catching up on all the projects you've never given yourself time to do? Spending less time/money travelling to work? Noticing less pollution around you? Managing to enjoy life without things you previously considered essential? What else? [List your own good stuff here ______________].
Now ask “How does it get any better than this?”
This is your invitation for something even better to show up.
Of course you'd like the bad things to improve.
The good stuff? Just because something is great now, doesn't mean it can't be even greater.
How are you with money? Comfortable? Too much but never enough? Can you roll around on your bed in it and play? Or not?
If not, and you'd like to change that, ask yourself "What if I honoured myself with 10 per cent?"
Then, whenever money comes into your life, before you do anything else with it — even before you pay your bills — put aside 10 per cent of it for you and don't spend it.
Put it aside in cash, silver, gold or whatever else will keep or increase its value.
The key is to never spend it; keep it and watch it grow. As long as there is compound interest, it will grow. (Compound interest? Look it up.)
When you don't spend all your money, you realise you have it. And when you know you have money, how do you feel? Is it easier to smile?
And if you have any reasons, excuses, decisions, conclusion or any point of view about doing this, ask some questions. You can start by using all the questions that come up here when you search 'money' on this site.
What are you finding tough in your life right now? Perhaps you're not able to do all the things you used to do? Maybe your study or work situation has changed? Or have you experienced challenges or changes in your circles of friends?
Whatever that is for you, if you'd like relief from the toughness ask yourself "What am I enjoying about this?"
For example, what new, interesting things have filled the space created by you not doing all the things you used to do? Have you been thrust into a different, more stimulating field of study or work? Maybe you've discovered a wonderful new bunch of people who see what you see? And perhaps the toughness has opened your eyes and mind to previously undreamt of possibilities and new realities?
There has to be something you're enjoying about your situation, if you'll only ask the question and look. Otherwise, you are choosing it for what reason?
Maybe you simply enjoy a challenge?
Is there something you're saving to buy or own? A car? A house? A piece of land? A yacht? A business? A special outfit? Some jewellery? New furniture? How much effort do you go into preparing to own it?
Or maybe you have already made the purchase, and are now busy looking after it? Car, house, land, yacht, business? How's the maintenance, insurance, and loan repayments going? Light and easy? Clothing, jewellery, furniture? Do you obsess or fret over their security or cleanliness? Perhaps you're already dissatisfied with your purchase and have started planning to upgrade?
Did you know that ownership is one of the biggest lies of this reality? It's a lie that can trap you in an endless cycle of enslavement.
Not sure? Think of something you 'own,' like your car or house, and ask yourself "Who owns this?" Do you really own it? Or does it own you, bleating for your constant feeding and attention?
The only thing you can ever own is you. Are you willing to own you? When you are, what if rather than focusing on 'owning' other things to look after, you simply invited them to show up, and come and play in your life? Would that be easier and more fun?
When you ask questions about change, how often is your question focused on changing someone, or something outside yourself?
For example, you don't enjoy working in your family business; you do it to keep the incoming money in the family. So maybe you ask questions, like "What will it take for more customers to spend their money in the business?" or "What will it take for the other family members to do their jobs even better?" Your point of view being that the more income to the business, the easier it will be to hire someone to do your job. Or the better other family members do their job, the less you'll have to work.
You may create that outcome. Or you may create something completely different, including one which requires you to be even more involved. The opposite of what you're looking for.
To make sure you create the changes you'd actually like, be clear that your questions include you, by asking "Where am I in this?"
In this situation, you could ask "What will it take for the business to thrive and no longer require my labour, or something greater than I can imagine?"
Have you ever made a major purchase — a business, house, car, equipment, or an educational course or travel — only to find out as soon as you handed over the cash, you didn't receive what you thought you'd bought?
What about a job? Have you ever been in an interview, being asked 'do you have any questions?' and then asked no real question, or asked something not particularly useful?
If so, next time, ask this question to the seller or interviewer "Truth, what is the one thing I haven't asked you, that I should know about this thing/job"?
You don't know what you don't know. The only way is to ask. So ask: "What don't I know that you should tell me?"
Starting with the word 'truth' is a subconscious reminder that they must tell you what is true. Use it whenever you'd like to know what's really going on.
Do you have more than enough money to thoroughly enjoy every moment of you life?
If not, ask "What does having money mean to me?"
Have you decided you don't deserve it? (Do you deserve to breathe? No. But you do it anyway.) That you only need enough to get by and it's unfair to have too much? (If someone gets less, do you get more? No.) That you have to work your fingers to the bone to earn every little penny that comes your way? (Do some people play their whole life and have rivers of gold flow in? Yes.) What else?
When you get clear on your points of view are about having or accumulating money, then you can change them if you choose.
How? Ask some more questions. If you're stuck, start by using all the questions that come up here when you search "money" on this page.
What are you waiting for to end? A relationship? A job? An illness? A national or global situation?
Have you been suffering for a long time, spending your days dreaming and planning in fear, stress and worry about how to end it? Or perhaps you've finally made a choice to speak out, stand up, and take action to end it?
Have you decided that when you do, the 'bad' thing will end and you can go back to a normal or even better life? Do you have significant hopes and dreams about it and how your life will change?
If so, ask yourself "What if the end was the beginning?"
This question is designed to remind you that your life is a constant creation: your constant creation. Are you choosing to live it? Or are you waiting for someone to do something, or something to finish first?
Even if you aren't waiting, and you're taking action yourself, rather than focusing on the end, what if you consider your completion as a contribution to the next thing you can create? Where accomplishments are simply the beginning of something greater.
What do you consider possible? Anything? Or do you have certain limits?
What are those limits? For example, what if your doctor told you you had an 'incurable disease'? Would you ask questions, considering the possibility that nothing is incurable? Or would you plunge into fear, fight and flight, ultimately resigning to what the doctor tells you, and follow the prognosis downhill?
What other hard limits do you have, about money, people, reality, what else?
Whatever limits you sense, ask "Am I entrained?"
Entrainment is where you are pulled along so strongly by someone or something, that you end up disregarding your own instincts, common sense, imagination, knowledge and experience.
Why do people and organisations seek to entrain you? Money, power and control are three simple reasons to start with, and there are likely an infinite number of others.
Remember, placebo is a recognised medical effect; your body can respond to what the mind tells it. This question can help you to recognise your thoughts may not be your own, and to regain control over your own mind.
How often do you hear someone say "good on you, you deserve that"? How often do you say it?
What does deserve mean to you? That you have to sacrifice or suffer to receive something? Some dictionary definitions are: to serve something zealously, to earn, to be worthy of, and to merit.
Consider this: does anything in nature 'deserve' what it receives? Do the birds need to be worthy of something to eat, drink and live a free life? No. So why should you have to?
If you'd prefer to live a joyous life, with ease and abundance, ask yourself "What if I didn't need to deserve?" What if instead of sacrifice and suffering, you choose to consciously create your life being the greatest contribution you can be?
And who exactly is reinforcing the idea that you should 'serve' them 'zealously'?
Are you aware of people actively working against you?
How do you respond? Do you feel you have no choice but to resist and react, to make choices based on what they've done or said? Do you try to prove you are/are not whatever they've said you are/are not? Are you distracted by the fight?
If you'd like another possibility, ask yourself "What if I outsmarted people who were trying to undo me?"
When you're aware of what's going on and willing to ask questions, you step into the possibility of out-creating those who seek to keep you trapped in their narrative. What if rather than resisting and reacting to other people, you take action based on what you know is true for you?
What if 'outsmarting' was as simple as seeing an obstacle and choosing to walk around it, rather than bash your head against it?
What do you do when something goes 'wrong' for you? For example, you've asked a question, made a choice, had an awareness, followed the energy...and then things didn't turn out how you thought they would.
What did you do? Did you go into the wrongness of you, blaming yourself for asking the 'wrong' question or making the 'wrong' choice?
If so, and you'd prefer not to make yourself 'wrong', ask yourself "What gifts have I created?"
There's always something, you simply need to look. At the very least you are now aware of something you weren't before. And at best you may discover something or someone wonderful that you would have never otherwise found.
How hard to you work to support other people? Are you working working day and night, even voluntarily, in a business or on a project, and excited to give everything you can offer.
You're there to make difference but no one is listening. Perhaps you can see exactly how something could go wonderfully, if only they'd do A, B and C. Or maybe you can see exactly where it's going, like the Titanic, and it's not looking pretty.
Are you killing yourself to stop things going wrong, or to make things go right? If so, and you'd like to not die, ask yourself "Am I willing to have others crash and burn?"
You're not hoping they'll crash and burn; you're being in allowance of what they're creating. And who knows, by being the space of allowance, the other person may be able to see what you're offering to contribute and ask you a question.
And if they do crash and burn you can always ask yourself a question like "What can I contribute here?" Then you get to make another choice, even if that is to turn and walk away.
Are you doing something you sense you'd rather not, but you're doing it anyway?
What reasons do you give yourself for doing it? That someone will be happy/accepting/impressed by what you're doing? That if you do this, then later that will show up and make it all worthwhile? That people are depending on you to save them?
If you're not clear, ask yourself "What am I being seduced by?" It might be an actual honeypot, it may be dreams of fame and glory, or it may be the idea you're being a hero-saviour. It may be something else.
Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Notice it, ask another question, and make a choice.
You may end up doing the exact same thing. The difference is you will be doing it from choice, not seduction and hopes of reward.
Do you always find you don't have the money you'd like? Not even the money you need?
If so, ask yourself "What do I love about having no money?" Whatever that is, will you give it up?
When you ask yourself this question, you may have an awareness. For example, it may be points of view you have bought from your family or friends. You love fitting in and so have decided to agree to their points of view about what money means. Are they your preferred points of view? No? Then give them up.
Or maybe you have your own points of view. For example, you love having no money so you can get up every day and work like a maniac to prove to the world you're a 'good provider'? Or perhaps you love people taking pity on you and giving you everything so you don't have to work at all?
And any and all point of view in between and beyond.
You don't need to know what it is to give it up. Just give be willing to give it up. Then you'll be free to choose for you.
Have you ever noticed yourself striving to have someone else — your boss, your co-worker, your parents, your partner, your kids, or even random strangers — see you and acknowledge you and what you're doing?
Like when you started a job or project and throw yourself into it enthusiastically 24/7. Do you do that purely because it's fun for you? Or are you doing some part (even all) of it to prove your worth to someone else?
Does anyone ever acknowledge your value? When they don't, what do you do? Do you react, working even more frantically on it? Or maybe you do the opposite and completely lose motivation?
If you'd prefer an alternative, when you notice people's lack of interest in what you're doing, ask yourself "What if I didn't need to prove how valuable I was?" Then if you sense the project is not really fun for you and you were only doing it to prove something to someone, you can choose to simply stop.
Or if your sense of excitement about the project grows, with allowance say to yourself "Aah well, I wasn't doing it for them anyway. I'll keep doing it 'cause it's fun for me! Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone"? All just choices valid for 10 seconds at a time.
Do you run a small business? How easy do you find it to ask to be paid?
It might sound strange that many people, especially in health, wellness and other care-giving fields have trouble asking for money. They're in it to help people and would probably do it for nothing if they didn't have to buy themselves food and shelter. People also have a variety of points of view about money.
If you're someone who enthusiastically contributes to other people and finds it to be paid for your work, practice saying this "Can I have the money now please?" Repeat the phrase over and over, simply, factually and with a smile. Then next time you're about to work for someone, say it before you start the job and gratefully receive the payment.
How much more do you value things you've paid for? What if asking for payment in advance contributed more value to your business than you could possibly imagine? And at the very least, you'll be paid.
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