Do you find yourself behaving in way that is, well, not quite you?
Like getting really cranky, crying like a madwoman, throwing a floor-fist-banging tantrum, being distracted by a pointless fight with some faceless idiot online, or otherwise doing something you know is crazy and not you, but you can't seem to help it?
What if it wasn't you? To find out, ask “Who am I being now?”
We pick up all sorts of stuff from those around us, from our parents, teachers, friends and pretty much everyone. This question is designed to remind you that maybe it really isn't you.
Then you can ask “If I were me, who would I be?”
If you're a parent, try it with your kids. Are they mad as hell or being a drama queen?
Ask them gently without heat “Who are you being now?” Don't be surprised if they reply “YOU!!”
Then ask “If you were you, who would you be?” and listen. At the very least it might crinkle their universe and stop the drama spiral for a second or two. At best, their whole life might change.
Are you addicted to organising everything around you, designing the perfect system, keeping the perfect house, sticking to the ultimate schedule, or something else?
Do you get irritated - even downright cranky - when the ducks don't line up and the kittens don't herd? Does your blood pressure rise when something flies in from out of the blue and destroys your carefully constructed order?
If so, and you'd prefer to avoid bursting a blood vessel, ask yourself "What if I created my life from chaos?"
Consider nature, where the most highly functional and efficient systems exist in apparent chaos. Like flowers and bees. In nature, do flowers grow in neatly ordered rows? No. Myriads of flowers flourish randomly wherever they can. And yet bees easily find the kind that suits them (bees are not all the same you know), pollinate them, and contribute elegantly and powerfully to the cycle of life.
This is not to suggest you create random, artificial chaos. Simply that even if things appear messy, you need not be the effect of them if you can see where to collect the pollen.
Are you willing to be aware of the flowers regardless of any apparent chaos that comes your way?
Not having much fun? Is your movement restricted, or you have no job, no social life, and are sinking into the conclusion that you have no future? Is your world full of people telling you to follow the rules and the world as we know it is at an end?
Are you feeling a little heavy?
What if you could contribute to an amazing new future for everyone - including you! - have fun at the same time? Like to find out? If so, ask “What fun could I add to my life?”
It could be anything, large or small. Like learning/creating something randomly new online, going on an adventure into the deep dark depths of your closet and creating space for yourself (great workout too BTW), asking your insignificant other to make you breakfast-in-bed and supervise the kids homeschooling while you sleep in, creating a 'holiday' anywhere different in your available space, or challenging yourself to make up a joke every day over coffee.
What if you did anything that made you smile and feel light? If you already have a little of it, add more.
The point is: take action, create your life every day, and smile. There's no need to stick with one thing forever. If your fun drops off, ask the question again and make another choice.
You'll be amazed at what you can create when you ask. "Fun: am I willing to have more?
Are you just your body? Or are you more?
Does your body do things that you, even science, simply can't explain or replicate, like run your pancreas, get over a cold, or make babies? Could your body be a whole lot smarter about what it needs than you?
How's your body feeling now? 110%, okaaaay, or rubbish? Whatever the case, invite it to tell you what it would like, ask “Body, what do you desire?”
Then LISTEN and give your body what it needs, not what you or anyone else has decided it should have.
What if, by listening more to your body, your aches and pains melted away?
What if listening more closely to your body gave you boundless energy and every cell sung with the vibrant joy of a five-year old?
To gain clarity, ask different questions, like "Body, do you desire more/ less/ different food/ water/ movement/ sleep/ sex/ stress/ other?" Then pay attention to sensations your body gives you, or things that come to mind.
Could this create the physical changes you've been seeking? If you'd like to find out, start an ongoing conversation with your body today, and LISTEN.
Something not working the way you'd like at the moment? Has your world turned 180 degrees upside down and inside out? How many concrete walls are you banging your head against?
What if rather than focusing on what's not working, get clear on what change is possible.
Sometimes, things won't change no matter what you do.
So if you'd like clarity about what will change and what won't, ask “What's possible? Can I change this? If so, how?”
These questions will help you see ways you might step around, walk away, dig under, or fly over the concrete wall, rather than bang your head against it.
The wall is not wrong and has no evil intent to hurt you. It is simply a wall that is happy to stay that way.
So get clear on the concrete walls in your life and find another way around or away. Your head will thank you for it.
How often do you get stuck in a no-win fight? Do you enjoy it when other people won't listen to your opinion and only want you to see theirs?
How much stress, anxiety and worry do you suffer from trying to prove who's right and who's wrong about something?
Does this help your work or business? Do fights create, or use your time and money? What does stress, anxiety and worry do to your body and health?
Would you prefer to create greater ease in life for you and your body? Then practice these magic words “interesting point of view” every time you find yourself having a difference of opinion with someone.
You're not saying anyone is right or wrong. You're acknowledging everyone has a right to their own (perhaps insane) point of view, including you.
Say it lightly, smile and move on, for example “Yes, I see, thank you. That's a really interesting point of view. I wonder what would be the most rewarding outcome for our business/relationship/health/life right now? What else could we look at?”
This invites in new ideas and information that you might both find interesting.
Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or powerless against everything going on? Frozen in fear, stuck in panic, or just don't know what to do?
Then ask “What action can I take?” Action is you creating your life, rather than suffering it as a reaction to everything around you.
Practice this. No matter what you see or hear, notice what you do and ask yourself “Am I doing this from action, or reaction? Hoarding toilet paper or other supplies – action or reaction? Reorganising to work or study from home – action or reaction? Posting on social media – action or reaction? What else?
There are no correct answers here, only your awareness of what YOU are doing.
Then ask “If I'm doing reaction, what action could I take?” Any action will do, no matter how small, as it will shift you out of reaction and into creation.
Acknowledge the trauma and drama around you, and be aware of your choices. Will you react “aaaarghh the world is ending!” Or will you take action to create your life, rather than suffering it in reaction? It's just a choice.
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