How honest are you with you? A lot, a little, or not at all? Don't know? Think about your life right now. The people, things, activities, pleasures, excitements, adventures, its peace and ease.
Is it more than you could ever ask for, about right, or not nearly enought? If you could have even more of the good stuff, would you? How often do you settle for OK, good enough, or 'what you deserve'?
Think about the word 'deserve' for a moment. Is there really such a thing? Do birds or crocodiles 'deserve' anything? Or do they simply know what they require, and receive everything that nature has to offer?
Could 'deserve' simply be a construct that other people use to control you?
Are you willing to receive everything that nature has to offer? If you'd like to expand your life in ways you can't imagine, ask "What would I REALLY like to have, that I have not dared ask for, that if I asked it out loud would create it?"
Are you willing to acknowledge what you truly desire, then ask for it, and receive it? Don't know, Then take this question for a drive around the block and see what shows up.
Do you feel like your life is a mess? Is nothing quite working out the way you thought it would? Do people you thought you could rely on keep leaving you stranded?
Have you asked lots of questions, but nothing is showing up how you expected it to? Do you feel like everything is falling apart? If so, ask "What if falling apart was falling together?"
What if all those things you've been working on 25/8, bleeding sweat and tears, were still works in progress? What if the universe was rearranging things is a way you can't yet imagine? What if the mess were simply mid-creation?
Before you decide something is not working, stop and ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" and "What will it take for this to turn out better than I could ever imagine?" Then smile an enjoy the creative process.
Do you consider you're addicted to something? Has someone told you that you are? What is that for you? Food, drugs, alcohol, sex, work, helping people, the wrongness of you, or something else?
What does addiction mean to you? That you're powerless to overcome it without submitting to a higher authority? That you will never overcome it and it will always control you? That it's a physical condition, an allergy, and the only solution is a long, slow process and complete abstinence? That you are bad, wrong, or a failure for having it?
What if addiction wasn't what you thought it was? If you've tried everything and would like to find out what else is possible, start by asking yourself "What if addiction wasn't a disease?"
What else is possible? That depends on you. This question is designed to unstick you from where you might be stuck.
How much change would you like? Visit Marilyn Bradford's System of Right Recovery for more information about how to choose for you.
Have you ever been in a workout, class, meeting, event or project where someone was trying to get you to do something? How did they do it? Were they aggressive and coercive? Did they browbeat you until you got it? Did the literally scream at you COME ON PUUUUUUSH!!!!
Even if you're in labour with child, how do you feel when someone screams at you to 'PUSH through the pain/deadline/brickwall'? Do you feel like doing it? If you're having a baby, nature will take its course. If you're not, are you like to PUSH, or are you likely to respond 'hmmm, maybe not today...'?
Do you do it yourself? Is breaking the pain barrier fun? Do you like banging your head up against the brickwall of obstacles? If not, and you'd like another way to generate results greater than you could imagine, trying pulling.
So if you'd like to create something new, ask "What if I pulled instead of pushed?" then pull energy from everywhere in the universe through you.
Play with it and see what happens. Maybe you'll spot that the wall is only a meter wide and you can walk around it. Maybe the unstable foundations of the roadblock will start to crumble. You can also pull energy through other people, then watch them wake up and get going. No screaming required.
Do you feel a bit tired or run down? Are you catching frequent colds, or just feeling out of sorts? Got skin irritations?
What's going on in your life right now? Are you busy creating all sorts of fun things for other people? Are you stuck under the thumb of someone who's demanding you do not so fun things? Are you somewhere in between?
Whatever you're doing, where are you in your life? If you notice you don't bounce out of bed in the morning at 110% and expand out to 1100% as the day progresses, ask "Where am I in the list of priorities in my life?"
What if you were willing to nurture and care for you? What would it take for you to realise how crucial you are to the possibilities of the world?
Do you ever say "I've had a breakdown" when lamenting things that don't work out so well? What about when you celebrate successes, do you say "I've had a breakthrough!"?
What is your sense of the word 'break'? Does it have the energy of ease and joy of new possibilities? Or is the energy more of more force, struggle, control, and limitation?
If you'd like to side-step the limitation and create new possibilities, ask yourself "What if I didn't have to break anything to create my life?"
Then, if things don't turn out how you fantasised, acknowledge it with "What, that's some amazing @#$% I created. What's right about this that I'm not getting? How does it get any better than this?" And celebrate your successes with "How did I get so lucky? What else is possible?"
What changes could you create with the lightness of a feather, a tickle of an invitation, rather than a cracking of bones?
Do you have a great new job that everyone is proud or envious of? Are you working on a project you believe has a higher purpose or great value? Have you me The One? Is your being, body, heart, mind and soul buzzing with orgasmic pleasure?
Or not? Do you have a sense of heaviness, constrictive breathlessness, or overwhelm? Are you stressed? Is your body suffering? Have you put this down to 'new job/ project/ relationship pains'?
Would you like to experience more ease and joy in life, including with any new additions like this? If so, ask "Am I creating my life for the joy of it, or something else?"
When you create your life from the joy, everything sings: your heart, mind, and every cell of your body and being. If you sense a part of you in not singing, destroy and uncreate anything you have made significant and ask "What could I be doing differently to create more joy?"
Then smile and play and find what brings you real joy.
How often do you say 'because' every day? For example: I can't come tonight because [I have to work late]; I have to work late because [it's a job and better than nothing]; I'd love to do something else more fun for work, but I can't because [add your reason here].
Are the things you say after 'because' real? Or are they simply all your reasons and justifications for not doing something? When you really want something, do you find a way to create it, no matter what it takes?
If you'd like to create more of what you'd really like in life, notice every time you say 'because' and ask "What's possible that I haven't considered?"
You're not wrong when you say 'because.' If fact, you're absolutely right and that's what you'll create.
If you'd like something more than you currently have, questions will open your eyes and show you what else is possible. Then you can create it, if you choose.
Do you ever think that only if you had more money, your life would be better? That money is the solution to your problems? That if only you had the money, you could do the thinks you'd really like?
Is money really the answer to your life? If you had all the money you desired, would all your problems go away? Or would you create new problems, even if you had a bottomless bank account?
If you know you'd probably be creating new problems, then was money really the problem? Or was the problem something else?
Does money create your life, or do you?
If you'd like clarity about why you're not choosing what you'd really like as your life, ask "What if money wasn't the problem?"
Have you decided money is a convenient, acceptable excuse for not showing up as you'd really like? What if by choosing to show up as you, money came and joined the party?
When you wake up in the morning, what goes through your head? Ugh, coffee, shower, kids, work, chores, exhausted, bored, sigh, ugh? Or something else?
How do your days usually turn out? Do you notice when you wake up with sighs and ughs your day often continues with a stream of the same?
What about when you start the day with a question, like "Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures can I have?" Does your day have the same, or different energy?
So what will you choose today? More sighs and ughs? Or something else? If you'd like something else, ask "What will I choose today to experience the joy of living?"
Whatever comes to mind, heart, or body that makes you smile, choose that, no matter how left of field it might seem.
What if the magic of life were that you get to choose and create it just the way you like. You just have to ask.
What's going on in your life right now? Is it fun, or not so much? How often do you complain about things? Do you have something you'd like to change?
Great! The fact that you see things you'd like to change means you can see change is possible.
So what is it about change that is causing you to keep complaining, and not change? What keeps you from creating the changes you desire?
Have you decided the change you'd like must be hard, and that you don't deserve it, or that someone else knows better about what is good for you?
Would you like a different possibility? Then ask yourself "What if change were easy?" and destroy and uncreate everywhere you have consciously or unconsciously decided it must be difficult and/or up to someone else.
What if you thought of change as an exciting new adventure? Would you choose it, and choose it again? What else could be possible for you if you embraced change and took action for yourself?
What does magic mean to you? Is it something pretend, fake, unreal, or impossible? Is it things appearing before your eyes with no logical, scientific explanation? Is it the joy of you receiving things apparently from nowhere?
For example, how many times have you thought about someone, and then they walked around the corner or phoned you? How often have you imagined you'd like something, and then you saw it in a shop or it arrived on your doorstep?
How did you explain that? As a coincidence? Crime drama fans know there is no such things as a coincidence.
What if the magic of magic lay in your willingness to receive it? If you say it doesn't exist, you are right. If you say it is not logical or scientific, you are right. If you receive it joyfully, you are right.
If you'd like more impossible, non-existent stuff to show up in your life, ask "What magic can I create today?"
What if magic was simply 'ask and receive'? What would you ask for?
Do you find yourself doing things you'd rather not? Sometimes even doing things you know are not good for you?
Do you do them because you've been told that not to do them would be shameful, that you'd be guilty of causing harm to others, or that you'd regret not doing them?
Are shame, guilt, and regret real and true? Or are they simply interesting points of view based on someone's view of right and wrong? Words designed to control you and coerce you into doing what other people want, while distracting you from creating the life you'd really like?
Other people will always try to get you to do stuff their way, using words to trick you into believing it's good for you.
If you'd like to be free from the control of distractors like this, ask "Is the thought of shame, guilt or regret distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?" Then see how light you feel.
You may end up choosing to do exactly the same thing, but not because someone tricked you into it. It will be your free and conscious choice.
Are you a parent, or thinking about growing some kids?
Do you feel like a beach ball on the ocean being battered by waves in the middle of a storm of advice? People telling you what you must/must not do to be a 'successful' parent? And if you don't, UH OH, your poor kids...
Does this help you smile and enjoy being a parent, or potential parent? Or not so much?
What if parenting wasn't what you thought it was? What if it could be whatever you chose it to be? What would that be?
Try this on for size. Ask yourself "What if my job as a parent was to be joyful?" What would create more joy for you as a parent? Acknowledging everyone else's points of view as interesting, then asking "Does this work for me?" and creating your life based on your own awareness?
What if the greatest gift you could offer your children was to show them the joy of life and living is whatever they choose it to be.
Think of the last time you were in a class, meeting, workout, or family gathering. How did you feel? Tired? Drained? Bored?
Were you dreaming of a good lie down, yearning for some chocolate (or something stronger), or wondering what on earth you were doing there?
What were your students, teacher, boss, co-workers, trainer, coach, family or friends doing? Were they smiling and joyful, offering expressions of encouragement, support and understanding? Or were their brows furrowed, their faces blank or glued to their phones?
Do you sense the energetic difference between someone who smiles at you and tells you "Yes, let's do this think! Great going!" and someone who looks serious or glum and tells you "No, not like that. Do it right like this!" or someone who never looks up from their phone?
Next time you find you're in a situation like this, ask "What energy could my smile contribute?" If you sense it could create change, then smile. And if you sense that they won't choose to change, then you can always smile and walk away.
What if a smile alone created more joyful energy in your life? Would you choose to smile even more?
What do people around you talk about? Do they gossip and talk endlessly about the next instalment of the trauma and drama in their, or other people's lives? Do they usually focus on who did what bad thing to someone else? Or maybe they talk about hair, makeup, furniture, renovations, drinking, sports, cars, or some other 'desirable' objects?
Or course there is nothing wrong with these things if they're fun for you. So do you enjoy it and join in? Does it make you feel uncomfortable or get you down? Or are you simply puzzled why people spend their time talking about things like this?
If you're not enjoying the conversations around you ask "What do I enjoy talking about?" and notice what comes to mind. If you realise what you enjoy doesn't match what people around you are talking about, simply acknowledge it with "How interesting I don't enjoy this." Then gently extract yourself.
If you can't immediately remove yourself from the conversation, a smile, a nod, and interesting point of view energy will take you out of resist and react. What if by not engaging in the talk, you changed the conversation?
And you can always ask "What will it take for more fun people to come and play?" and find people who are more in your zone.
What does having children mean to you? Have you ever said "I'm never going to have children" or "I don't think I'd be a good parent"?
What does parenting mean to you? What have you decided being a parent has to be? Have you based that decision on what your parents, friends, relatives, neighbours, 'experts', or the media have told you?
Do these expectations about having children and becoming a parent feel light or heavy to you? Are you stressed or conflicted about what to do? How is this impacting on your relationships with your insignificant other?
Wht if you could create a different reality for you as a parent? A reality that was light, exciting and joyful?
If you'd like to find out, ask "What if being a parent wasn't what I thought it was?" and destroy and uncreate everything you have made real about what other people have told you.
Then get clear on the energy on the life you'd really like and see where that leads you.
Right now, who in your life are you doing your best to help, support, love, care for, work hard for, or contribute to?
Do you get the results you know are possible? Or are you saddened, disheartened, disappointed, puzzled, upset, frustrated, annoyed, or even angered by how little impact you seem to be having? Are they treating you like rubbish?
Who do you make wrong? Them, or you? Do you re-double your efforts and go out of your way to do whatever you think is required, to no effect? Do you feel like rubbish?
If you'd like to create a different possibility, ask "Have I made this person greater than me?" Then acknowledge how great YOU are, regardless of what others would have you believe?
What if no one were greater? What if everyone were just different, including that some people simply won't choose change, no matter how great you can see it could be?
Would you be willing to be the greatest you are first? And then invite others to come play?
Has anyone ever been angry with you to try and distract you from seeing what was true, either so you wouldn't see it, or so they didn't have to look at it?
For example, when you question someone because you sense they were lying. Did they get angry or indignant and say things like "I can't believe you are questioning me?!" Did that make you angry?
Do you get angry when people say things about you that aren't true?
One useful thing to know about angry is that it can indicate a lie. So next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself "Is there a lie spoken or unspoken here?" You will know. And if you'd like more clarity, stop and ask the other person "What do you mean by that?" Then listen.
Asking questions in the face of anger will move you from the auto-response of reaction, to the freedom of action, so you can create what you'd really prefer.
Do you like change?
Do you get excited when a new gadget is announced? When your work/life is rearranged? Your holiday plans are suddenly upended? When someone you regard highly does something you didn't expect? When your favourite coffee shop closes?
Or do you become annoyed, worried, frustrated, even angry? Do you try to make someone right or wrong? Do you start thinking something is "wrong with the world" and lament "if only things didn't change?"
What if nothing were wrong?
What if change was needed to create something even greater? So next time you feel uncomfortable about a change, ask "What if change were required?"
Then smile and enjoy what shows up next.
Have you had a bad day...week/month/YEAR? Did you bump into someone's parked car when you were backing down the driveway? Did you get a bill 10 times what you were expecting? Did youfind out the times had changes on an event you'd been promoting, an hour before it was due to start? Did you create a fight when you thought you were being helpful? Did someone tell you how much rubbish you are? did you have ALL of these in one day?
Do you feel like crying? Having a stiff drink? Jumping off a cliff? Something else?
If you'd like something else, ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" Then ask "What would make me giggle right now?"
Remember when you were five, and everything made you giggle? Find ONE thing and pull that energy through you, and keep looking for MORE thinks, until you lighten, smile...and maybe even giggle. Even if it's to giggle at yourself for being Cute, Not Bright.
Are you comfortable with money? Or do you struggle with it and never seem to have enough? Even if you're not living hand-to-mouth, do you have the feeling you don't have as much as you need to do all the things you enjoy?
Or perhaps you've defined the things you enjoy to fit within the limited amount of money you've decided you have available to you?
What is your point of view about money? That it's greedy to have too much? There's not enough to go around? If you have a lot, then someone else will miss out? That you don't deserve it? It won't bring happiness? What else?
Are these points of view true? They are if they are your point of view. Remember, your point of view creates your reality.
So, if you'd like to change your point of view about money and create greater ease with it, ask "What's the value of having no money?"
If you discover there is little value, ask some more questions like "What if everything about money was for the fun of it?" and "If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?"
Do you push yourself hard? Are you the sort of person who says "If I'm going to to this, I'm going to do it well and on time?" And do you keep going even when you're exhausted?
Certainly, you probably feel satisfaction in getting things done. How often do you find yourself a physical, mental, or emotional wreck at the end of, or even during the process?
What if you could achieve an even greater result without the physical, mental, and emotional fatigue?
If you'd like to find out what's possible, next time you notice you've set yourself a MUST DO — for example, exercise X times a week, get a new business up and running, meet a work project deadline — ask "Body, would you like to rest?" Then listen to and honour your body.
What if the space between your DOING, ie your REST, was where your body, brain, and being relaxed to allow your ideas and energy to flow to you in even greater amounts?
Before you call the police on this one, let me ask you: where is your comfort zone? Is it on the stage? Or on the couch?
How many of these are outside your zone: singing loudly, speaking in public, telling your best friend something you know they won't like, doing something you know is morally right but goes against an "authority," saying NO to anyone?
What else? What activity makes your heart pound, your hands go clammy and your head think "ooooooooh noooooo....not that!"? That. Whatever that is, that's outside your comfort zone.
How much does having a comfort zone help you create the life you'd really like? A lot, a little, or not at all? How much time do you spend thinking about the things you won't do, avoiding situations you think you think might lead you out of your safety zone? And how much fun are you missing out on? Whose life are you living? Yours or someone else's?
If you'd like a peak at the possibilities that lie beyond, ask "What if I played outside my comfort zone?" and dip a toe outside it. What's the worse that can happen? People might laugh. And laughing is good, right? So what if you joined in?
What's the best that can happen? Well maybe you just might change the world and start living your own life.
Do you encounter many angry people in your life?
When people do anger, are they ever really interested in hearing your point of view? Or is their main focus getting a reaction out of you? Are they interested in you being free to say and do what you prefer? Or are they looking to control you?
You know the exact moment your buttons are pushed and you become trapped in emotional reaction. Would you like to be free of that auto-response? If so, next time someone does anger at you, be Cute Not Bright. Stop and ask them "OK, what do you mean by that?" and listen.
Keep asking the same question and listen until the anger has gone.
Anger is a distractor people will use against you to see how you'll react, so they can find a way to gain control over you. Acknowledging the other person like this will take you out of reaction, and into action and enable you to create the life you'd really like.
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