Suffering? In pain? Frustrated? Someone doing you wrong? Rather than going into the no good, wrong, trauma and drama default, ask “What's funny about this I'm not getting?”

​For example, have you ever tried to tell someone something SO AMAZING that you had just found out and that had changed your life, and you just wanted to tell everyone because you knew it would change their lives too...? Did they call you a looney and laugh at you? Did you try every-which-way to explain, again and again, until you started doubting yourself? 

What if instead of making yourself wrong, you laughed at yourself being hung out to dry like a rubber chicken? What's funny? Um rubber chicken...I  mean a rubber chicken says nothing and makes people laugh. 

Or maybe you're in a relationship that's on a wash cycle of wring-your-heart-dry? What's funny about that? Gotta be something. Even if it's to laugh at yourself for pushing the same old wring-me-out-now button and expecting a different result. 

Cute, Not Bright. 

What's great about laughing? It boosts your oxygen and feel-good body bits and kicks you out of the self-pity spiral. And did you know that joy and happiness can be *infectious*?

Then when you've done, or while you're still laughing, you get to make another choice. Are you willing to see more of life's funny side and choose for you?

Do you sometimes do things that, well, just don't work out? In fact, you create complete rubbish?

When you do this, do you default to how bad, wrong, terrible and awful you are? Yes, you're a failure, just like they always said you were.

How does that feel? Does it help you at all? 

Probably not. So what if instead, you acknowledged that you can be an awesome creator of rubbish.

Say “Gee, I'm cute, but not bright!” Then laugh and ask “What's right about this I'm not getting?” and “What else is possible?”

If you can create magnificent rubbish, you can undoubtedly create magnificent magnificence too. You just have to ask and take notice.
 
What's the value of making yourself wrong anyway? 

It's much more fun to be Cute Not Bright.

If you have something in your life you've been trying to change continually to no effect, ask "What do I love about this?"

How willing are you to change or let go of things you love? Not much? Not at all? 

Are you ever distracted by a fear that you will never have it again (for example, a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all)?

When something is not working for you, first get clear on what parts of it you love.

Then you can ask other questions like "What would it take for me to find something else that would be an even greater contribution to my life?" and "What would it take for the parts of this that are not working for me, to change into something greater than I could imagine?"

When you become clear what you love about something -- and are willing to let it go, or demand that it change -- you will no longer be weighed down by it. 

Instead, you will have the freedom to choose it, or not choose it. The reality is, you always have choice. 

Something not working in your life? Feeling unhappy or stuck? Do you see yourself as a victim and without hope? Do you think you're hard up and done over by someone? 

Are these points of view limiting you, preventing you from creating the life you'd really like? Would you like to change?

People stay in the role of the mournful victim all the time because it has some value for them. 

For example, it gives them the attention they desire, it's comfortable, they've decided it's the only way of getting out of something they'd rather not do, in the hope that it will force someone else to behave differently, and many more reasons they've decided are valuable to them. 

On the other hand, some people simply don't realize they have the choice to change. 

Was that you? Now you know you can choose, would you like to? If so ask “What's the value of hanging on to this?” If it has no value, you would hang on to it for what reason?

The reality is, you always have choice. 

​How often do you limit your choices, before you even consider them, by deciding you don't have the time or the money?

Time and money are two reasons (excuses) people will always give for not doing something. What if you took them out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? 

To find out, ask “If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?” Once you are clear on your true desire, you can ask other questions to make it happen, for example 

• “What will it take for the money/X thing I'd like to show up?”
• “What will it take for my parents/partner/boss/government/other to give me the time/money to do this X thing I'd really love to do?”

Make sure you ask for more than you think you want, or can even imagine, without incurring hardship, by adding “...with ease, or something greater?”

Do you find you other people are always telling you what to do, things that you'd rather not do, and convince you to give up the things you prefer?
​
Other people will always try to get you to do things, using obligation and guilt to control you. Why? It makes their lives easier, and you usually do what they tell you to, so why not?

Listening to other people's points of view can be useful. You can learn a great deal. And did you know that when you don't feel light and wonderful about a request or demand, you don't have to do it?

Next time someone asks/tells you to do something, ask yourself "Does this work for me?"  If you feel a heaviness, smile and with a light, joyful energy say “Thank you so much for thinking of me! I'm sorry. That doesn't work for me right now.”

Then smile again and change the subject. You are stating a fact about which no one can argue. Don't offer a reason or excuse; these only allow the conversation to continue. 

If people push you, smile again and say “I'm sorry it doesn't work for me. It's an interesting idea and I'm sure other people will be keen." And if that still doesn't work, smile and walk away/hang up/delete/block/ whatever it takes until your lightness returns. 

What do you do when things don't fit into the form and structure you've decided your life must have? When things vary or change? Like now, for example. Old normal gone. Enter "new normal."

Do you say “Oh that's interesting. It's different! It's something I never thought about! I wonder how much fun we can have? I wonder what new better and beyond normal can I help create?”  

Or do you react with upset and say “This is strange/crazy/stupid. If they only did it this way life would be better! OMG how can I put up with this?”

How much stress or unhappiness do you have because you've decided things have to be a particular way? 

If you'd like less stress and more happiness in your life, ask "What if form and structure had no significance?" Then

• notice the form & structure in your life
• let go of any significance you've attached to it
• choose the form & structure that works for you, or you'd like to create and
• change whatever doesn't.

How? Ask more questions. There's a bunch here www.thedailyq.co you can start with. 

What if your body was a whole lot smarter than you ever gave it credit for? What if its aches and pains were telling you much more than what vitamins and minerals you need? You know the feeling of heartbreak? It's a very real physical ache. People have died from it. What about other physical symptoms? Find out by asking“Body, who or what

• am I sick to the stomach of?” (tummy problems)
• is weighing me down?” (upper back)
• is getting under my skin?” (skin irritations)
• giving me the shits?” (fairly obvious)
• am I not willing to swallow any more?” (throat issues)
• is a pain in the butt/neck?” (lower back/neck)
• is playing with my heart?” (heart palpitations)
• am I dying to get away from?” (worsening conditions)

Who or what comes to mind? Now ask another question.

Do you like helping people? Is is important to you? What is it about helping people you enjoy? Do you feel worthy? Does it make you feel valued and valuable? Do you want to save them from something?

What don't you enjoy? Are you frustrated when you give your best to someone but they don't seem to want it or appreciate it? Are you shocked or saddened when friends and family get angry or upset at you when you're simply trying to help them?

Do you find that no matter how much you help people, some simply never seem to change?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to help people. It's awesome. Empowering people to know they can change anything in their lives is a gift. 

Just know that even when you do your best, people will choose what they choose, and it's got nothing to do with you. 

People choose what they do because somewhere, somehow, they like it. 

If you'd like to get clear about why and how you can help people with greater ease ask “What's the value of helping people?”

What if rather than being distracted by trying to help people who simply don't want your help, you asked "What other action could I take to create the changes I'd like?"

​How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result?

What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them? 

Or are they simply distractors that keep you from creating what you'd truly like?

If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business, life and change you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?” 

This will clear such distractors so you see what you'd really like to choose. Then ask "What action can I take?"

Are you willing to have that much freedom?