Do you ever blame other people or circumstances for things that don't work out in your life?
Does it make you feel better and help you create the life you'd actually like? Or does it side-track you into an Alice-in-Wonderland like maze of distraction? If you'd like to create the life you'd truly like, acknowledge your role as creator of everything that shows up in it. How? For every good, bad, ugly, beautiful thing that shows up in it, ask "How did I create this?" It'll likely be easy for the good, beautiful things. What about acknowledging that you created the bad, ugly things? By taking ownership of everything in your life, you gain clarity on how you created it. And then you can see how to create it differently. How? Ask questions.
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Do you find you are often disappointed by the way things turn out? Are you ever let down by what people say or do?
Have you ever tried to explain to someone exactly what behaviour and words would make things work like magic between you? Did they hear you? How often has someone tried to convince you that their point of view is what you really desire? Can you control what other people do in their lives, even in relation to you? No. People will always do exactly what works for them and pay no attention to your point of view. The only thing you can change is you. So if you'd like to be free of feeling disappointed or let down by other people, ask "What expectations do I have here?" When you are clear about your expectations, ask another question, like "If I had no expectations of anything or anyone, what could I change to create the result I'd truly like?" What if creating what you'd like in life was as simple as changing your point of view? How many times a day do you hear yourself saying "I'd like to be/ do/ have X but I can't/ shouldn't/ because of X? Once, 10, 100 times a day?
Sure you're clever. You've analyzed the thing from all angles and worked out exactly why you can't/ shouldn't. And you're not wrong. When you decide something is not possible, you're absolutely right. It's not. Would you like more possibility in life? Would you like to be/ do/ have all those things you've decided are not possible? If so, ask "What if I stopped being my greatest limitation and started living?" Think of this as a gentle slap on the cheek to remind you all things are possible. Then ask another question, or three hundred, and create your life as you'd really like. What title have you decided you must have to be valued? Girlfriend/ boyfriend? Husband/ wife? Mother/ father? Community leader? Volunteer? Best friend? Executive? Director? CEO? Master chef? Business person of the year? Dux? No. 1? Sir? Ma'am? Professor? Cool dude? What other title do you value?
Will a title make you into the person you'd like to be? Does not having it make you less? Or do you create you, regardless -- and often in spite of -- your title and other people's opinions? When someone gives you a title do you automatically become that? Have you ever had a boss/ friend/ partner who wasn't that? Did their titles automatically make them what you desired? And what if by accepting a title you limited yourself to what other people decided was right/ wrong good/ bad for that role, which may not work for you? What if even without any title, you were an amazing gift to the world? So ask "What title am I limiting myself to, that if I didn't, would allow me to see and create the life I truly desire?" What gift could you be if you chose for you, beyond the limits of any title? What have you made the answer to your life?
Relationship? "When I find The One I'll be happy" Money? "When I have $XXX in the bank I'll be secure" Work? "When I get that job my parents will see I'm successful" Happiness? "When people admire my work I'll feel respected" Will these things in themselves make you feel happy, secure, validated or successful? Or does your point of view create your reality? If you didn't have the point of view you lacked something, would you feel dissatisfied and unhappy? So when you're feeling less than, or dissatisfied with your life as it is, and you hear yourself repeating "When I have X, I'll be Y" or "If only I had X, I'd be Y" ask "What am I making having X about?" Then notice what the real target of your desire (Y) is and ask "What will it take to be Y now?" Do you ever get stuck on something that happened in your past, no matter if it was yesterday, last week, last year, or 50 years ago? Do you ever hear yourself saying "If only A, B, C hadn't happened, I'd have been X, Y, Z better off"?
Does that help you? When you have that conversation with yourself, do you feel lighter, or heavier? Does regretting, blaming or shaming your past help you create the life you'd like now? And truth, can you ever change your past? If you'd like to be free of the concrete shoes you've made for yourself, ask "What if there were nothing wrong with my past?" What if everything you have ever been, done, said, worn, studied, worked, loved, hated has been exactly right to create the you you are now? Then ask "Am I willing it let it go and ask what would I like to create as my life and living now?" Then listen to yourself and ask "What action can I take?" How aware are you of the words you use everyday? Listen to yourself today and notice the number of times you use these words: why, try, need, but, never, because.
Where do why questions go? Around in circles? Nowhere? Listen to kids: "Why is it cold? It's winter. Why is it winter? That's the seasons? Why do we have seasons?...." and so on. Need, try, but, and never are all lies. Do you really need anything? No. The world is an abundant place; need is the lie that it isn't. Can you really try to pick up a glass of water? No. You either do or you don't. But negates everything you just said:"Your work is good, but..." Never is the lie that you can't create time to suit you, when you could if you liked. Because tells you all the spurious reasons and justifications you give yourself for not doing something, when you really could if you chose. If you'd like to expand your possibilities ask yourself "What words can I leave behind?" then eliminate these words, and their energy, from your conversations and thoughts. And then ask "What else is possible?" What is missing from your life? Money? People? Health? Fun? Would you like to expand your possibilities?
Then leave this word behind: want. Want originally means 'lack' and as such it contains an energetic limitation. When you say "I want money" you are actually saying "I lack money." In other words you are reinforcing both your point of view, and your reality, of not having money. If what you'd actually like is more money, then instead ask a question, for example "What will it take for more money to show up in my life?" Questions will always help you see how you can create the change you're looking for. So every time you catch yourself in the act of saying "I want XXXX," stop, smile and ask yourself "What if I didn't want for anything?" and then "What questions could I ask here instead, that would help me create what I'd really like?" How often do you hear someone say "good on you, you deserve that"? How often do you say it?
What does deserve mean to you? That you have to sacrifice or suffer to receive something? Some dictionary definitions are: to serve something zealously, to earn, to be worthy of, and to merit. Consider this: does anything in nature 'deserve' what it receives? Do the birds need to be worthy of something to eat, drink and live a free life? No. So why should you have to? If you'd prefer to live a joyous life, with ease and abundance, ask yourself "What if I didn't need to deserve?" What if instead of sacrifice and suffering, you choose to consciously create your life being the greatest contribution you can be? And who exactly is reinforcing the idea that you should 'serve' them 'zealously'? How much are you driven by having a 'true purpose'? A lot or a little?
Do you consider that you'll be happy or valued when you find it? Are all your questions always centred around it? Do you narrow your choices to fit within the purpose you've decided is right? If so, ask yourself "What if having a 'true purpose' was a limitation?" How free are your choices and possibilities when you decide you have a 'purpose'? What if instead you had a priority? Does this feel lighter? Do you sense more choice and possibility? An infinite being would choose limitation for what reason? How honest are you with you? A lot, a little, or not at all? Don't know? Think about your life right now. The people, things, activities, pleasures, excitements, adventures, its peace and ease.
Is it more than you could ever ask for, about right, or not nearly enought? If you could have even more of the good stuff, would you? How often do you settle for OK, good enough, or 'what you deserve'? Think about the word 'deserve' for a moment. Is there really such a thing? Do birds or crocodiles 'deserve' anything? Or do they simply know what they require, and receive everything that nature has to offer? Could 'deserve' simply be a construct that other people use to control you? Are you willing to receive everything that nature has to offer? If you'd like to expand your life in ways you can't imagine, ask "What would I REALLY like to have, that I have not dared ask for, that if I asked it out loud would create it?" Are you willing to acknowledge what you truly desire, then ask for it, and receive it? Don't know, Then take this question for a drive around the block and see what shows up. Do you ever say "I've had a breakdown" when lamenting things that don't work out so well? What about when you celebrate successes, do you say "I've had a breakthrough!"?
What is your sense of the word 'break'? Does it have the energy of ease and joy of new possibilities? Or is the energy more of more force, struggle, control, and limitation? If you'd like to side-step the limitation and create new possibilities, ask yourself "What if I didn't have to break anything to create my life?" Then, if things don't turn out how you fantasised, acknowledge it with "What, that's some amazing @#$% I created. What's right about this that I'm not getting? How does it get any better than this?" And celebrate your successes with "How did I get so lucky? What else is possible?" What changes could you create with the lightness of a feather, a tickle of an invitation, rather than a cracking of bones? Today, for the whole day, listen to everything that comes out of your mouth. Or even just for ten minutes.
How much of what you say is a veiled, or even outright complaint about someone or something? Do you ever hear your voice taking on a repetitive whinging, defensive, or hostile tone? Words have their own energy to create, or to destroy. If your words are dominated by criticism or emotion, then that is what you will create more of. There is nothing wrong with being aware that something is not working, and that you'd like to make it better. The difference is simply the energy behind your words. So if you'd like to change your pattern of defaulting to destructive criticism or emotion, ask "How are these words contributing to the life I'd like to create?" If you notice they're not, simply ask "How does it get any better than this?" When things don't work out the way you'd like, what do you do? Do you ask "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" What else is possible?" "Cute, not bright!" and "How does it get any better than this?"
Or do you try to find someone or something to blame? Do others blame you when things don't go right for them? Blame means to find fault with, to hold responsible for, or to condemn as wrong. Is blame real and true? Or is it an interesting point of view based on someone's view of right and wrong? When you buy into the idea that "someone must take the blame" how much trauma and drama comes your way? How much energy do you spend excusing, defending or deflecting the blame? Is that fun? If not, and you'd like to be free from the control of distractors like this, ask "Is this blame distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?" How aware are you of the words you use everyday? Listen to yourself today and notice the number of times you use these words: why, try, need, but, never, because.
Where do why questions go? Around in circles? Nowhere? Listen to kids: "Why is it cold? It's winter. Why is it winter? That's the seasons? Why do we have seasons?...." and so on. Need, try, but, and never are all lies. Do you really need anything? No. The world is an abundant place; need is the lie that it isn't. Can you really try to pick up a glass of water? No. You either do or you don't. But negates everything you just said:"Your work is good, but..." Never is the lie that you can't create time to suit you, when you could if you liked. Because tells you all the spurious reasons and justifications you give yourself for not doing something, when you really could if you chose. If you'd like to expand your possibilities ask yourself "What words can I leave behind?" then eliminate these words, and their energy, from your conversations and thoughts. And then ask "What else is possible?" What is missing from your life? Money? People? Health? Fun? Would you like to expand your possibilities?
Then leave this word behind: want. Want originally means "lack" and as such it contains an energetic limitation. When you say "I want money" you are actually saying "I lack money." In other words you are reinforcing both your point of view, and your reality, of not having money. If what you'd actually like is more money, then instead ask a question, for example "What will it take for more money to show up in my life?" Questions will always help you see how you can create the change you're looking for. So every time you catch yourself in the act of saying "I want XXXX," stop, smile and ask yourself "What if I didn't want for anything?" and then "What questions could I ask here instead, that would help me create what I'd really like?" |
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