How old are you now? How old do you feel?
What do people tell you about age? About what will happen when you turn 13, 20, 30, 40, 50 60 and beyond?
Does every decade come with a set of rules that people tell you you'll follow: your body will change; you'll have mood swings; you'll be obsessed with sex; you'll want children; you'll be obsessed with sex; you'll get tired and fat; you'll lose interest in sex; you'll grow more and more wrinkly, weak, frail, confused and sick.
Have you ever see people that naturally look and act years, even decades younger than their physical age? And the reverse? So you know either option is possible. What makes the difference? And what if it were possible for you to choose your preferred option?
Like to find out? If so, ask "What if age did not mean what they say?" Then notice the stories other people like to tell you about what age means, and choose to listen to yourself — your body — about what you and it would prefer.
Do you still feel 5-18 years old? Then invite your body to feel that energy too and be it.
How comfortable are you in your skin?
Do you feel that you are the complete, natural expression of who you really are? Or do you sometimes feel confused or uncomfortable, not quite yourself?
Whenever you feel a little — or a lot — not like yourself, ask "Who am I trying to be?"
There is nothing wrong with acknowledging other people's greatness. But will unconsciously adopting other people's traits create that same greatness in you? Maybe. And you would adopt not-so-great traits for what reason?
This question will help you see more clearly the behaviour, thoughts, loves, fights, sacrifices, hopes, dreams, or other that are not naturally yours, that you are taking on as yours.
Once you can see them, you can let them go if they don't serve you and rediscover yourself. How? Ask "If I were me, who would I be?"
Do you sense the world is more complicated than you like? Do you feel compelled to make things more complex than you think necessary?
When you do a presentation at work, do you make it the simplest, cleanest, to-the-point version? Or do you feel obliged to add all the bells and whistles? When you write an essay for school, do you feel you have to include the most difficult sounding words and concepts? When you find people you like, do you try to impress them with how much you know?
Nothing wrong with complex if it's fun, easy, feels light, and works for you. And if it doesn't work, ask "What if simple were right for me?" Are you willing to be aware of what works for you — simple, complex, or in between — and choose that?
How much fun could you have by functioning elegantly: generating the greatest result with the least effort?
How often have you been told life is a rollercoaster? That you have to take the good with the bad? That without downs there would be no ups?
What if your life had no ups and downs? Do you think you'd flatlined? Have you decided that without the thrill of the up-down rollercoaster you'd be dead?
Do you enjoy being down? If not, then ask "What if my life just got better and better?
What makes your up times? What makes your down times? Is it what happens? Or is it your point of view about what happens and your willingness to change?
What if your point if view was that you could simply choose to be happe, without needing to be unhappy, to experience the difference?
What if you remembered to ask "What's rights about this that I'm not getting?"
What if happiness were just a choice?
You're smart, you work hard, you got good grades at school, you help your family nicely, you've got a great job, everyone says your partner is perfect, your kids are healthy and happy, you've got enough money, a nice place to live, a sexy car, some good investments, and enviable mini-breaks and maxi get-aways a few times a year.
Your life is perfect. And even if you can only claim one or two of these things, you're doing pretty well, right?
So what do you do if you have all these things, and yet somehow feel something is missing?
There is nothing wrong with these things. They can certainly be fun. So if you have all of these things — or more! — and you're not having fun, perhaps you've made them mean something they're not?
If so, ask "What have I misidentified as living?"
What if you could enjoy these things as well as create your life the way you'd like? How? Ask another question.
How much time do you spend second guessing whether you'll fail at something or not? Do you say "I'd like to do it, but I probably won't be any good" or "I'll give it a go, but I'm sure I won't do very well?" Some of this may be because you think you shouldn't big-note yourself.
How much of it do you end up believing?
There is nothing wrong with this point of view. Be aware, that your point of view creates your reality. So if you think you'll be no good, then you're absolutely correct.
If you'd like to create a different reality — an expansive, can-do reality full of possibility, then start with a different point of view. Start by asking "What if success were the only option?"
What is the definintion of success? That's up to you. How have you defined success? What if by being clear on what you'd truly like as your life and living, then success IS the only option?
What do you think you can't do? Speak publicly? Learn another language? Speak publicly in another language? Run a business? Lead a team? Understand the law? Change things that are not working for you? Trust what you know in the face of opposition?
Do you tell yourself you're afraid of something? Making a mistake? People laughing at you? Failure? Ruining your life forever and dying alone and poor?
Is any of that true? Or are they all just interesting points of view you bought from someone, somewhere, sometime?
It doesn't matter where your points of view came from, how well do they serve you? Do they help you create the life you'd really like? If not, ask "What's the value of saying I can't do it?"
If there's no value, you are hanging on to that point of view for what reason? What if instead you asked another questions, like "What will it take for me to do this with ease?"
How many relationships do you have? Friends, colleagues, family, a partner?
How are they going? Are you suffering things you'd rather not because you think you have to maintain your relationships?
Will that help? Maybe. Maybe not. Is it fun to suffer? Or would you rather enjoy life with other fun people?
Are you committed to making your relationships work NO MATTER WHAT, because YOU CAN DO IT and to do otherwise would be to fail? Perhaps you have decided that he/she is The One and your rose-coloured glasses don't allow you to see things as they really are?
If you'd like to see you, the other person, and your relationship more clearly ask "What am I pretending not to know?"
You already know what will be the greatest contribution to your life; you're just pretending you don't.
What fixed points of view do you have about who and what you have to be/ do/ have/ think in life?
For example, I have to get married because my mother expects it. I can't take a year off school to travel because my father wouldn't like it. I have to get into that organisation because otherwise I'll be a failure. I have to cook dinner every night otherwise I'll be a bad parent. I can't be nice because the tough kids will make fun of me. I can't speak my mind because people will call me a "Karen." I have to believe everything other people tell me or I'll have no friends.
Do you spend all your energy, time and money on this hamster wheel? Is it fun? Does it create the happiness you'd like?
If not, ask "What could be possible if I changed my point of view?"
What if every "I have to" and "I can't" were just points of view that you could change? What point of view would you start with?
Are you happy with life? It's okay to say you are. But you probably can't, or won't admit it, right?
What is that? When did you decide that you couldn't be happy and had to be dissatisfied and complain about life?
Would you like to have more happiness in life? Will moaning and groaning create it? Or will choosing to be happy create it?
If you'd like to find out, ask "What can I smile about today?" and then SMILE and smile some more.
You may only find one thing to start with. A really great cup of coffee. A break in the traffic. A clear blue sky. So SMILE.
You can also smile at the not-so-great stuff. Illogically restrictive regulations. SMILE. Unable to see family or friends. SMILE. Lost your job. SMILE.
After a while, like magic, your sense of happiness will expand and you'll see more and more great stuff in life. Previously unthought of possibilities emerging like new grown weeds from a scorched earth.
You may even infect others with your choice to choose happiness, and would that be something to smile about?
How often do you feel swept away by the stream of people's trauma and drama? Dragged over the rapids and smashed against the rocks?
Or perhaps you're the salmon diligently swimming upstream, against the flow?
What if instead, you were the rock in the stream, allowing the water to pass one way and the salmon to pass the other?
What if you could see it all, without being the effect of it, so that you could choose what worked for you?
This is allowance, and questions will enable you to be in that state.
Like to be the rock? Ask yourself "What if I be the question?"
Have you ever had a relationship which you knew could be amazing, but it never worked out the way you'd hoped?
You can see how great the other person is, how great you are together, and yet things just keep going haywire, no matter what you do? But you keep trying to make it work, because YOU CAN SEE all the wonderful possibilities?
Do you cut off an arm or a leg to fit in with that person? When you do that, do you find they've changed the ground rules, and you have to bend, fold and mutilate yourself in new ways to fit these new rules?
Is that fun? Does it work out?
If not, ask "What idea have I bought as real?" You may have bought as real the idea that someone is perfect for you. And if you have, will you see the reality, or your idea of the person?
Just because you can see the amazing potential of and with someone, doesn't mean they will choose it, even if you do.
What does your life feel like right now? Light? Heavy? Fun? Serious? Energetic? Lethargic? Joyous? Miserable? Frivolous? Exhausting? Add your own words, image or feelings to describe your life as it is now.
Got them? Sometimes it helps to close your eyes to do it.
Now ask yourself "Is this the life I truly desire?"
If your life is not exactly what you'd like, then do it again, first asking "If time, money and other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose for my life, living and reality?"
Now get a sense of the energy of the life you'd truly like. Add words, images, smells, feelings, sensations too if that helps.
Are two images the same, or different?
What if you carried with you the energy of the life you'd truly like, and chose consciously people and things that matched it, regardless of your normal logical pros and cons?
Could that make it easier for you to create the life you'd truly like?
Do you know what you'd really like in life? What you truly desire?
Have you ever allowed yourself to consider it? Or have you always been/ done/ chosen what others have told you is The Right Thing?
If your life is not going quite how you'd like it, maybe you've been choosing for others, rather than for you?
So how do you know what you'd really like? Easy. Ask"What do I truly desire?" and see what comes to mind.
It might not be anything that you've ever acknowledged before. Or maybe you were told it would not be: appropriate/ realistic/ possible/ safe/ healthy/ normal/ sensible/ or any one of 1000s of words people like to use to control you.
Are you willing to look at what you'd really like now?
Once you can see your true desires, then you can invite them into your life. You just need to ask.
Are you stuck in a rut with someone? Your insignificant other? A parent? Your boss? A co-worker? A celebrity or authority figure? Or even a friend?
Do you sense something is not quite right between you and them, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to make it work?
What have you decided this person means to you? Have you made them the answer to something?
For example, have you made your boy/girlfriend The One? Are your parents proof that you're The Good Child? Is your boss The Enemy around who you rally with your co-workers? Is a co-worker The Unfair Competition to excuse your own uninspired performance? Is the celebrity or authority figure The Hero Coming to Save the Day? Is your friend [__________ fill in their role and it's value here]?
If you'd like to be free from these limits and to see people for who they truly are — rather than what you've decided they are — ask "What have I made this person mean to me?"
Then acknowledge it, and say farewell (to the rut).
If you'd like to continue having that person in your life, ask another question.
Do you find you are often disappointed by the way things turn out? Are you ever let down by what people say or do?
Have you ever tried to explain to someone exactly what behaviour and words would make things work like magic between you? Did they hear you? How often has someone tried to convince you that their point of view is what you really desire?
Can you control what other people do in their lives, even in relation to you? No. People will always do exactly what works for them and pay no attention to your point of view.
The only thing you can change is you. So if you'd like to be free of feeling disappointed or let down by other people, ask "What expectations do I have here?"
When you are clear about your expectations, ask another question, like "If I had no expectations of anything or anyone, what could I change to create the result I'd truly like?"
What if creating what you'd like in life was as simple as changing your point of view?
How many times a day do you hear yourself saying "I'd like to be/ do/ have X but I can't/ shouldn't/ because of X? Once, 10, 100 times a day?
Sure you're clever. You've analyzed the thing from all angles and worked out exactly why you can't/ shouldn't. And you're not wrong. When you decide something is not possible, you're absolutely right. It's not.
Would you like more possibility in life? Would you like to be/ do/ have all those things you've decided are not possible?
If so, ask "What if I stopped being my greatest limitation and started living?"
Think of this as a gentle slap on the cheek to remind you all things are possible. Then ask another question, or six hundred, and create your life as you'd really like.
How do you shop for clothes? Are you a bargain hunter? Do you rely on a friend, shop assistant, or internet influencer to tell you what to buy?
Do you consider what other people will approve? For example, it's the latest fashion that your friends will admire, or its safe-conservative that your workplace will accept?
Do you ever ask your body?
How does your approach work for you? Is your wardrobe full of clothes you absolutely adore? Are your clothes a joy to wear and make you feel happy all over? Do they make you smile and strut your stuff?
Or do you shuffle through life feeling slightly uncomfortable and dressed not quite right?
For fun, next time you go shopping or open your wardrobe, ask "Body, what would you like to wear?" Notice what draws your hand or eyes. Touch it. Notice how your skin feels.
You'll know when your body wants to wear something. And if nothing draws you, keep on moving until you find something that does...even if that's nothing ;-)
Have you ever been told you're too loud, too active, too energetic, too happy, too full of life and could you TURN IT DOWN or PUT A LID ON IT?
Do you feel bad about it? Do you feel wrong?
What if there were nothing wrong with you?
What if some people simply don't get your energy, your exuberant expression of life?
What if your energy and exuberance is an amazing capacity, a phenomenal talent? A gift the world needs?
If you'd like to remind yourself that your energy and exuberance is not wrong, and that some people will simply not get you and become angry or annoyed, ask "How many people can I wake up with my exuberance today?"
Then smile and dance on.
Is your life full of ease, joy and abundance?
Not so much? No surprise given how many people seem to enjoy telling you that life must be hard, no fun, and a knock-down-drag-out fight to the death for scarce and dwindling resources. Not to mention the Fear and Terror of The Plague.
What if that were not true? If you'd like to find out what else is possible, add this daily mantra to your wake-up routine.
"All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory."
Saying this will remind you that how you function in life is your choice. And, if you choose, you can function from ease and joy and glory (exuberant expression and abundance) no matter what is going on.
Even when "things go wrong" you can experience them with ease and create any change you desire.
It's all of life, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Everything is included and nothing as to be a difficulty.
The reality is, you always have a choice.
Do you feel that you're not enough? You don't fit in? That you must strive to become something that your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, The Media, The Government or others have told you that you should be?
Certainly you couldn't possibly be enough just as you are! You need to be something better, right?
What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being you — just as you are — was exactly right?
What if it were more than OK? What if the world actually needs the full range of your talents and abilities that you've been told your whole life were wrong?
What would that be like? Do you know? If you'd like to find out, ask "What if being me could change the world?"
If you're not clear on who you are, ask "If I were me, who would I be?" and "What's right about me that I'm not getting?"
What if you could be you and change the world?
What have you decided you do not want in your life? People who lie, cheat and steal? Unreliable and flakey people? Bossy and know-it-all people? What else?
How much energy do you spend judging people in an effort to keep certain things out of your life? Does it ever work? Is it fun for you? Does it expand your life in ways you'd like?
If not, rather than judging and excluding, be in allowance and inclusive.
When you exclude, you define the limits of what you are willing to receive and shut off your access to infinite possibilities.
So when you notice you're trying to avoid someone, ask "What am I excluding here, that if I were to be in allowance of would contribute to my life in ways I can't yet imagine?"
Will this put you at the mercy of people? No. When you are aware and inclusive you will see what's going on and how to choose the bits that work for you.
As a result, they may exclude you from their lives, because you're no longer fun for them.
What title have you decided you must have, to be valued? Girlfriend/ boyfriend? Husband/ wife? Mother/ father? Community leader? Volunteer? Best friend? Executive? Director? CEO? Master chef? Business person of the year? Dux? No. 1? Sir? Ma'am? Professor? Cool dude? What other title do you value?
Will a title make you into the person you'd like to be? Does not having it make you less? Or do you create you, regardless — and often in spite of — your title and other people's opinions?
When someone gives you a title do you automatically become that? Have you ever had a boss/ friend/ partner who wasn't that? Did their titles automatically make them what you desired?
And what if by accepting a title you limited yourself to what other people decided was right/ wrong good/ bad for that role, which may not work for you?
What if even without any title, you were an amazing gift to the world? So ask "What title am I limiting myself to, that if I didn't, would allow me to see and create the life I truly desire?"
What gift could you be if you chose for you, beyond the limits of any title?
Are you in a relationship? How's it going? Perhaps you're looking to change an existing one, or create a new one?
Start by getting clear on your definition. What words do you use to describe your preferred one? Honour, trust, vulnerability, gratitude, allowance, gift/receive, communion, contribution, generative, generosity of spirit, gratitude, joy, fun, freedom?
Words like serious, promise, love, commitment, respect, responsibility, give/take, protect, maintain, keep, right/wrong, meaningful, obligation, security, compromise? Or perhaps others?
Which words feel light? Which feel heavy? There is no correct answer, just an awareness of your preferences.
If youi don't have the relationship you'd like now, you may be using a definition that doesn't match what you truly desire.
So get clear and create what you'd like, rather than what others tell you is right, ask "What does relationship mean to me"
How much of the world is focused on brain power? What did you study? Where you studied? Your qualifications?
Do you feel inadequate, that you're not smart enough, quick enough, or that you don't have enough information packed into your tiny grey cells? Have you decided you need to spend all day/week/year/rest of your life in the library or on the internet sucking up more?
Does your brain hold the answers to your life? Or is your brain just one part of you?
Does what you're seeking lie somewhere else?
Have you considered that if your brain really had the power to figure out your life, wouldn't it have done so already?
If so, and you'd like to access more of what you already know, ask "If I didn’t think, what would I know?"
What do you already know? What if a brain was a wonderful thing to waste?
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