What do you do when something goes 'wrong'? Do you think clearly and ask yourself calmly "What's right about this I'm not getting?" Or do you get upset?
What happens when you get upset? Does your awareness expand, or contract? Can you see and create more, or less? There is nothing wrong with being upset. Choose it if it's fun for you. If you'd prefer to be free of trauma and drama and have greater possibilities, ask "What choices would I have if I weren't upset?" What if by living from allowance — where everything is simply an interesting point of view — trauma and drama and upset and intrigue vanished, no one and nothing could control you, and everything in your life got easier? Would that be fun?
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Do you live life to the fullest? Adding more and more and more and MORE, just because it's fun and you can?
Does taking so much on sometimes stress you, but can't stop because you feel you''d let everybody down? Have you decided that you have to keep going, no matter what? If so, and you'd like to create a little more ease for yourself, ask "What if taking a break was OK?" What if by taking a break, you created the space you required for something even greater to show up, for everyone? Have you been shopping recently? Was it fun? Or did you get upset because you lost something, like a credit card, wallet or phone? Were you overcharged? Did you miss out on a car park or a bargain? Did your children have a meltdown? Did you leave feeling stressed and penniless?
If your experience was less than joyful, and you'd like to change your shopping (or any other) experience, ask "Is this mine, or someone else's?" Thoughts, feelings and emotions are transmitted invisibly and soundlessly like WiFi through everyone nearby. So if you're in the middle of a shopping centre filled with overworked, underpaid, stressed, unhappy people on a budget trying to buy a 'festive season,' be aware that you may pick up all their thoughts, feelings and emotions — even if financially you're comfortable and enjoy your work — and walk out feeling unhappy and overspent. Even if something does 'go wrong' and you lose something, ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" and "How does it get any better than this?" smile and keep moving. How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family, in-laws, or co-workers who are on a different wavelength to you? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're 'not good enough'? Do some of them think it's 'fun' to laugh at your views on life? Or perhaps they're just plain mean ELFs who know you're an easy mark?
If you dread family, workplace or other gatherings with people who are not in your zone, try these games and create a difference.
Enjoy the Silly Season. Have you been wondering about what you're doing in life and where joy fits into it all?
Do you consider you are a conscious being living in a free will universe, where you have infinite, free choice? What are you choosing now? How much fun and joy are included? A lot, a little or none at all? Perhaps you're working on 'important' or 'serious' things? Consider this: if consciousness includes everything and judges nothing, surely that means, as a conscious being you are everywhere, have everything, are everything...including fun and joy? So how do you create stuff in your life that is, quite simply, wonderful fun? Start with a question like "What makes me smile, giggle and vibrate with joyful enthusiasm for more and more and more?" When you asked that, what came to mind? Whatever THAT was, choose it. And if you don't quite have a clear scent, CHOOSE ANYTHING and see if you laugh. If you don't, choose something else. If you do and then it stops, choose something else. Sound fun? Do all sorts of magical creatures find you during the Silly Season, especially when you're offering cake and beer?
Who are they in your circles? You know the ones, the Snakes who always bite you when you least expect it, because that's their instinct. Or the Bring Downers, who simply get a kick out of making your life hell and bringing you down? Does it always shock, horrify, disappoint or upset you when they do it again and again and again? What if you gave up expecting everyone to be nice like you, and instead play this game? First, recognise who the Snakes and Bring Downers are in your life. Then you can choose to stay out of their way. Or, when they do enter your life, see them, and acknowledge them for being great at what they do. How? When they start with the biting and the bringing down — without heat — say "Wow, you're really good at doing that!" When they ask you what you're talking about reply "Whatever you're doing now. What is that?" Then listen with interesting point of view energy. Or walk away, with a nurturing smile to yourself. How much of the Silly Season do you spend listening to people tell you directly, or indirectly how much rubbish you are?
Is that fun? Is it true? If not and you'd like something different, play this game. Whenever you sense someone is looking to criticise, hurt, insult, or provoke you, smile, nod gently and — without heat — reply "Hmm, really interesting point of view." You are acknowledging their viewpoint and allowing them to enjoy it. You're not agreeing they're right, and you're not being distracted by falling into an angry, emotional reaction (which is usually what they really want so they can control you). If you need to pull the heat out of an interest onslaught, tell them "You're right. I'm wrong" three times. Our addiction to right and wrong, good and bad is one of the strongest we have. These two magic phrases will invite the energy of allowance into any Silly Season. Just think, if everyone were in allowance, would family feuds, neighbouring conflicts, or even global wars, topple over like dominos? So many fun games to play in the Silly Season. Here's another one.
Do you find yourself overcrowded with people in your house or workplace during the festive season? Or is there always that ONE person sucking up all the oxygen or boxing you into a corner? Here's a game to play at these times. The rules are simple. Whenever you start to feel you're folding, stapling, mutilating, or contracting yourself to fit into someone else's reality box, or you're gasping in the vacuum because they've sucked all the oxygen out of the room, or you feel pinned beneath the weight of your family/boss' baggage and expectations expand outwards. How? Just consciously ask your edges to move out. How far? As far as you need in all directions until you become lighter and spacier. Can anyone hang their baggage on your hooks if you're pure space? Will you have any hooks left? Practice this game. When you master it, you might even find people fall straight through you, flat on their face. And who said slapstick wasn't funny? Here's another game for when you find yourself in a Silly Season.
How do you normally approach special seasonal events or holidays? Do you prepare yourself to grin and bear all the things you think you're supposed to do? Do you go to places you'd rather not, or stay longer than you enjoy, because someone in your family or workplace has decided it's required? If you'd like to enjoy your holidays more, next time play a game of Nurture You Monopoly. The rules are: whatever arrangements your family or workplace has made, pre-plan a time and place to do something you really enjoy. Would that be a massage, pedicure, coffee with friends, a walk up the mountains or along the beach, or a game of golf? Or something else? Then devise an exit. Ask a friend to call you with an excuse. Pre-arrange a taxi to come and pick you up. When the phone call or taxi arrives, say "Thank you so much for today! I just have to pop out now to help my friend/mother/neighbour. I'll be back a bit later!" Then smile, LEAVE and nurture you. I was saving these games for just before the end of year festive holidays, but it feels like the Silly Season has come early this year and we could use some of these games right now.
How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family, in-laws, or co-workers who are on a different wavelength to you? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're 'not good enough'? Do some of them think it's 'fun' to laugh at your views on life? Or perhaps they're just plain mean ELFs who know you're an easy mark? If you dread family, workplace or other gatherings with people who are not in your zone, try these games and create a difference. Are your get togethers full of robust discussion or outright fighting? How many disagreements are really just individuals crying out for more attention? So give the ones giving you the hardest time, the attention they seek. With gentleness and allowance, say "I'm so grateful that you are in my life. You are such a gift." And smile. Then ask them questions and listen. No one will have paid them so much genuine attention in a long time. Being totally open, vulnerable and present with them will knock them over like a house of cards. And you never know, they may just ask you a question back. |
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