On a scale of 1-10, how grateful are you for people and things in your life? Are you finding it a challenge right now? Do you feel less than zero in the luck department with nothing to be thankful for?
What if you found one thing to be grateful for every day, and told someone, even if it's just yourself ?
When someone thanks you, how do you feel? Good? Does it make you want to hang around longer, catchup again sooner, work harder, smile more, and go the extra mile?
This is the energetic vibration of thanks. It's warm, fertile and prosperous, and it's infectious (in a good way!) and can replicate.
So everyday, when you find that one (or more - go crazy) good thing in your life, acknowledge it with a smile and ask “How did I get so lucky?” It's a great way to say you're thankful and to invite more of the good stuff to come your way.
In these times when the world seems to be going to hell in a handbag, wouldn't it be amazing if we all caught the Gratitude21 virus instead?
Whenever you've had more time than usual away from friends, family, work, travel or other stimulating positive environments, do you find it easy to spiral downward? Do you start focusing on what's wrong with your life, what's wrong with you?
Do you get really down on yourself, feeling that you're not quite right somehow? Maybe you start to feel that you're less than you should be or that you're not what someone else expects you to be?
Perhaps time on your own has changed the way you think, and now you don't seem to fit in with everyone around you? Have people started calling you crazy, or worse, and you think that you're wrong for not fitting in?
What if there was nothing wrong with you? If you'd like to find out, rather than judging yourself as wrong, ask “What's right about me that I'm not getting?”
What if you were not nearly as messed up as you thought you were? What if you were just different? And what if, by acknowledging this, you show up as the difference that the world needs? This is free and doesn't hurt, so give it a go, ask the question.
Is there a lot going on around you? Are friends, media, governments telling "this is true!" or "that is a lie"? Are you confused about who to trust and what to do?
Start by asking a question - any question (choose from ours if that helps) - then pay attention to what shows up and how you feel.
Do you feel light? You know the breezy sense of space and weightlessness you have when everything is just right.
Do you feel heavy? You know that clunky feeling when something is not quite right and you sense a lie.
In other words, if you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not right for you.
In these unsettled times, what if you pay attention to your senses and follow the lightness, even though it may not make logical sense at the time?
This is not about making anyone right or wrong. This is about honouring and nurturing you.
Be aware that just because something is light for you, it may not be lightness for the person standing next to you. There are many interesting points of view.
What in your life right now has slapped you on the face like a wet fish? Is something going on that has apparently come out of nowhere and bitten you on the bum?
Like being told to stay at home and restrict your activities for months on end with three kids, and then there's a power outage? Or something even more challenging?
Whatever that is for you, when you find you're trapped in an "OMG this is terrible" cycle of stress and worry ask "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" And keep asking it over and over, even if you don't believe it or feel it.
What if there was ALWAYS something right about a 'bad' situation? Like rediscovering old fashioned board games or actual books to keep everyone entertained. Or seeing the world from an entirely new perspective and reevaluating your life choices? How does it get any better than this?
How often do you get stuck in a no-win fight? Do you enjoy it when other people won't listen to your opinion and only want you to see theirs?
How much stress, anxiety and worry do you suffer from trying to prove who's right and who's wrong about something?
Does this help your work or business? Do fights create, or use your time and money? What does stress, anxiety and worry do to your body and health?
Would you prefer to create greater ease in life for you and your body? Then practice these magic words “interesting point of view” every time you find yourself having a difference of opinion with someone.
You're not saying anyone is right or wrong. You're acknowledging everyone has a right to their own (perhaps insane) point of view, including you.
Say it lightly, smile and move on, for example “Yes, I see, thank you. That's a really interesting point of view. I wonder what would be the most rewarding outcome for our business/relationship/health/life right now? What else could we look at?”
This invites in new ideas and information that you might both find interesting.
Listen to what people talk about. What percentage is a complaint or a problem? Trauma and drama? Ninety-nine percent? Or more?
Did you know that you get more of what you focus your attention on?
So if you'd like fewer problems and more joy in life, inject a little gratitude into your conversation.
Crinkle someone's universe by saying something like “I am so grateful for the lockdown; it made me look at my life in a totally different way” or “I am really grateful that their lying is so obvious; now I know to look into everything they say and do and so I won't get caught out” or “How did I get so lucky seeing beautiful blue skies? Not being able to travel means I can spend more time connecting with my local community.”
What if you found one thing to be grateful for every day and told someone?
Perhaps you'll surprise people and they'll stop complaining mid-stream? You may even infect them with gratitude and spread it to others?
Or you may just have giggle on your own because you're grateful you have toilet paper. So ask, “What am I grateful for today?”
Do you have days/weeks/months when things are just not working the way you'd like to?
When people tell you “No!”, “You can't do that!” and “That's not how things are done now!” You've got great ideas, lots of energy, and a desire to contribute, but everyone around you is saying "NO!"
Does this frustrate, upset or disappoint you? Do you find yourself stuck inside, sitting on your couch despondent and dispirited, reacting to all the trauma and drama around you?
If so, next time your you hear someone say “No” say to yourself “OK. Got it. That doesn't work right now. I wonder what else is possible?” Then pay attention and see what comes to mind. You might surprise yourself with different point of view about what action to take.
Even just asking a question is taking action, and of course you can ask "What action can I take?" Taking action is you creating your life, rather than suffering it as a reaction to everything around you.
Whatever you've got going on – great or not so great – it can always get better. You just have to ask.
What bad things are going on with you right now? Perhaps you've run out of essential supplies, lost your job, closed your business and went bankrupt, are stuck in a confined space, are unable to travel, got dumped by the love of your life, got sick, or [list your own not-so-good stuff here _________________]?
What about the good things? There's got to be something. Are you enjoying spending more time with your immediate community and family? Catching up on all the projects you've never given yourself time to do? Spending less time/money travelling to work? Noticing less pollution around you? Managing to enjoy life without things you previously considered essential? What else? [List your own good stuff here ______________].
Now ask “How does it get any better than this?”
This is your invitation for something even better to show up.
Of course you'd like the bad things to improve.
The good stuff? Just because something is great now, doesn't mean it can't be even greater.
Do you like your body? Do you enjoy it and do fun things with it, like skip, run, jump, dance and play? Do you ever thank it for carrying your brain safely to work every day?
Or do you wake up in the morning judging it? It's too fat, too thin, too wrinkly, too ugly, too slow, too old, too....? Do you tell it it's not what it should be and force it to do things to make it what you think it should be? Do you try every new exercise and diet? Do you take pills and have surgery?
Or do you ignore your body completely and find any excuse to move as little as possible?
Is any of this working for you? Is your body having a good time? Here's a hint. Pain and discomfort is your body telling you it's not happy.
What if instead, you asked your body what it enjoys and follow its lead? Remember when you were five, when you had a vibrant, fit, healthy, body overflowing with energy? Did you think about it, or did you just follow your body?
If you'd like that energy again, ask “Body, what would be fun for you?” then, as they say, just do it.
Even if you're in a restricted or confined place, there's plenty you can be doing. Helloooo internet! There are 1000s of amazingly creative people adapting their skills freely to help you keep your body moving with joy, even in the tiniest of spaces.
What could you do that would be a gift to your body?
Are you stuck somewhere you'd not normally be stuck? Has your usual routine been up-ended and you can't move about freely? Does this upset you and make you feel claustrophobic or limited?
If so, then ask yourself “What is the gift of this?” What if this unscheduled disruption was a chance to look at your life and ask what's working, and what's not working for you?
How often do you get to do this? Often? Sometimes? Or are you always so busy running on the hamster wheel of life, never giving yourself a moment to pause, or even the freedom to think about pausing?
So if now a pause button has been pressed on your world, rather than focusing on limitations, what if you consider your choices?
What have you've always wanted to do, but never had the time for? Open an internet window on the world to see what you could read or learn. Open your hall closet to see what you could clean out. Open your awareness to see what you'd really like to create as your future.
Then ask “What action can I take?”
Much gratitude to Dr Dain Heer for this one.
Are you feeling scared? An emotional spiral of worry and panic, an out-of-sorts flood of tears, or you're simply not feeling yourself?
What if what you were feeling was not actually yours?
These days we take for granted the invisible transmission of information via WiFi and mobile phones.
What about us? Don't we also transmit information – thoughts, feelings and emotion – invisibly and soundlessly too? Like when you walk into a room and know exactly who's just had a fight, or who's having a secret affair?
So when you feel emotionally out-of-sorts, ask “Who does this belong to? Me or someone else?”
If the feeling lightens, you'll know it's not yours and you can “Return to sender with consciousness.”
And if you find it is yours, ask another question like “What's the value of hanging on to this?” or"What action can I take?" And then make a choice.
You can change anything if you choose.
Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or powerless against everything going on? Frozen in fear, stuck in panic, or just don't know what to do?
Then ask “What action can I take?” Action is you creating your life, rather than suffering it as a reaction to everything around you.
Practice this. No matter what you see or hear, notice what you do and ask yourself “Am I doing this from action, or reaction? Hoarding toilet paper or other supplies – action or reaction? Reorganising to work or study from home – action or reaction? Posting on social media – action or reaction? What else?
There are no correct answers here, only your awareness of what YOU are doing.
Then ask “If I'm doing reaction, what action could I take?” Any action will do, no matter how small, as it will shift you out of reaction and into creation.
Acknowledge the trauma and drama around you, and be aware of your choices. Will you react “aaaarghh the world is ending!” Or will you take action to create your life, rather than suffering it in reaction? It's just a choice.
How do you create your life? On the fly? Methodically creating five year plans? Or somewhere in between?
How many questions do you ask along the way? If you'd like to ask more questions, start with this goodie. "What can my life be in the next 12 months that I could never have imagined?"
Then write down a list of all the things you desire and all the things you've been asking for. And then ask how many of these things are an action, and how many are a reaction?
What is a reaction? For example, if your family had no money, or lost all its money, and 'making a lot of money' is on your list. That is a reaction.
Then ask yourself, rather than being in reaction (to 'no money'), what action could you be? An action such as having fun and being at ease with money.
The more you ask questions and take action, the more you'll set yourself up to create a future greater than you can possibly imagine.
What do you do when you get stuck on something? When creating your life is not the ease and joy you know it can be?
- ask a question
- notice the possibilities
- make a choice
- have an awareness
If not, next time you get stuck, ask yourself "What step is this?"
When you're stuck, you might simply have forgotten to take a step. It doesn't matter which it is. Every journey begins with just one.
Questions create possibilities. Choice creates awareness. Repeat.
And don't forget you can always side-step obstacles that are in the way. How? Ask "What if I had total freedom?" and then start by using any one of the questions listed there.
What day do you live in? Today, tomorrow or yesterday?
When you live in the past, you create your life based on what did/didn't work then.
When you live in the future, you create your life based on hopes, dreams, expectations, delusions, and other unrealities.
When you live in the present, you create your life based on your awareness of that moment, free from the limitations of the past and the unrealities of the future.
Need help being in the present? Ask yourself "If I were living my life today, what would I choose?"
Then make a choice, see what shows up, and make another choice, in constant creation and awareness of your life.
And you can make more than one choice a day. In fact, you can make a choice every 10 seconds if you like.
What doesn't make sense in your life right now?
Something a family member or friend is telling you to do? A reason your boss is giving you for a new project? A law government is trying to change? A story the media repeats on rinse cycle?
How do you feel when things don't make? Light and breezy? Or heavy and clunky?
If you feel light, then there is a truth, and you can ask "What information do I need?" If you feel heavy, then there is a lie, and you can ask "Have I looked beyond the story?"
People who seek to control you — to get you to do what's in their interest, rather than yours — can be amazing storytellers.
So when something doesn't make simple, natural and immediate sense to you, keep your ears out for the reasons, excuses, justifications, obligations, blame, shame, guilt, regret, and any other trick in the book that may be woven throughout the narrative, designed to make you obey.
Then once you see beyond the story, you get to choose, for you.
What are you hiding from your kids? Birthday presents? Family trouble? A global crisis?
Do you think your kids can't see you're hiding something? When you were young, did you know your parent's secret hiding spot for special things? Did you sense family troubles brewing? Could you see something was not quite right with the world?
How did you respond when your parents shut you down for asking about these unspoken secrets? Did you take it personally and shut down, thinking you were somehow wrong, stupid or crazy for asking? Were you confused when your world collapsed after they'd told you everything was A-OKAY?
If you'd prefer a different reality for your children, ask yourself "Am I willing to tell my children the truth?"
This doesn't mean you have to sit them down and lecture them. In fact, you might not need to do anything. Willingness alone can create the space for something different to show up. They may not ask you anything at all.
And when they do, it simply means you're willing to listen to their questions, to be with them in that moment, to empower them to know what they know and to create the life they choose, without the added confusion of lies.
What animal do you admire?
Big cats for their understated strength and power? Dogs for their loyalty and friendship? Ants for their diligent industry and collaboration? Birds for their grace as they swoop and swerve avoiding disasters? Beavers or spiders for their engineering prowess? Crocodiles or cockroaches for their stealth and ability to survive apparently anything? Domestic cats who ingratiate themselves while remaining aloof and independent. Bees for understanding the chaotic order of flowers and extracting nature's gold?
Do animals study hard and learn these skills? Or are they just being themselves?
Do animals deserve their abilities? Or do they simply enjoy and use them?
Next time you find yourself in a situation where you're not sure what to do or say, ask "What animal could I be?"
This question is designed to help you pause your autopilot reaction, and to refocus you on how you could be, and what action you could take with ease and elegant result.
Do you get cranky pants with people? Are you frustrated when people make choices, which from your standpoint seem harmful?
Anger can indicate all sorts of things. Rising anger may indicate someone is lying to you. Explosive anger can show you where you've been suppressing yourself. While heated anger can be a sign that you are in judgement, rather than interesting point of view.
When you sense any heated irritation, ask yourself "Has my awareness outstripped my allowance?"
If so, repeat "Interesting point of view I have that point of view" until your allowance expands infinitely, creating space for infinite awareness.
Remember, choice creates awareness. So what's right about people's 'harmful' choices that you're not getting yet?
How are you with money? Comfortable? Too much but never enough? Can you roll around on your bed in it and play? Or not?
If not, and you'd like to change that, ask yourself "What if I honoured myself with 10 per cent?"
Then, whenever money comes into your life, before you do anything else with it — even before you pay your bills — put aside 10 per cent of it for you and don't spend it.
Put it aside in cash, silver, gold or whatever else will keep or increase its value.
The key is to never spend it; keep it and watch it grow. As long as there is compound interest, it will grow. (Compound interest? Look it up.)
When you don't spend all your money, you realise you have it. And when you know you have money, how do you feel? Is it easier to smile?
And if you have any reasons, excuses, decisions, conclusion or any point of view about doing this, ask some questions. You can start by using all the questions that come up here when you search 'money' on this site.
How do you create your life? Easily? Or do you always seem to face a few, even a lot of problems along the way?
What is your point of view about getting what you want? That you don't deserve it? That you should feel guilty when you get something others don't? Or do you blame someone for getting in your way? That you always have to struggle and work hard? What else?
None of those points of view are wrong, if you're fully enjoying your life as it is.
And if not, ask yourself "Am I willing to create my life elegantly?" Elegance is the greatest result with the least effort.
Do you consider that cheating? Or is that being smart and empowering yourself to create even greater things for you and others?
Don't forget, even when 'problems' do pop up along the way, remind yourself that everything is simply an interesting point of view by asking "What's right about this that I'm not getting?"
Got something you'd like to say? How many times have you tried to say it? Once? Twice? A thousand? More?
Are you being heard? Do people hang on your every word, wanting to know more? Or do they close their ears, and walk or even run away?
How do you present your ideas? Are you well researched, earnestly setting out the facts? Or do you playfully, joyfully ask a few questions and then listen to the other person's point of view?
Whatever you're doing, if it's working for you, keep doing it. If not, ask yourself "What could I say to make them laugh?"
When you laugh, how do you feel? Do you remain defensive and aloof? Or do you relax and open up?
Ultimately, you may or may not get your message across, but at least the interaction will be more enjoyable for both of you.
You never know, they may come back later for some more of the good vibe. And one day, they may even hear what you're saying.
Do you have a point of view about something that when anyone else says the opposite, or even something just a bit different to your point of view, you feel your heckles rising?
Is there something that you know for sure, than when anyone even hints that they don't agree, you grit your teeth and barrage them with pointed questions, pushing them to the point of no choice but to agree with you?
Or perhaps when someone dares hold their ground against your views, you throw up your hands in disgust and walk away, rolling your eyes at the ignorance?
You do these things because you know you're right, right?
What if when you need to be right, you're absolutely wrong?
If you'd like to find out, next time you notice yourself in this situation, ask yourself "Am I needing to be right?"
And if you sense a need, ask yourself "What awareness could I have if I wasn't in judgement?"
Is someone bullying, gaslighting, or trolling you? Or maybe the opposite? Someone is trying to build you up, driving you to be or do something they think would be good for you?
What do you do? Do you resist and react against the bullies? Do you agree and align with the supporters?
In either case, where are you? If you'd like to find out, ask yourself "Am I trying to validate other people's realities?"
When you create your life in reaction/action against/for someone else you solidify their reality, not yours.
So if you'd prefer to create your life freely, with infinite possibilities that work for you, ask "If other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose?"
Not happy? No matter what is getting you down, ask yourself "What am I taking for granted?"
What is so abundant, so easy in your life right now that you don't even think about it? It might be a physical thing, a skill, an attribute, access to something, it might even be as simple as your smile.
Sure you probably have an infinite number of problems and difficulties that will no doubt get in your way and bring you down.
So what are the infinite number of talents, abilities, attributes, ideas and all manner of other things that you equally have, that, if you acknowledged and were grateful for, would bring you up?
This question is designed to remind you that you just have to ask, look, see and be grateful for the amazing things you've been gifted.
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