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Have you ever given your best doing something, checking it a hundred times, only to find that as soon as it "goes live" there is a glaring error? Like writing a daily blog post only to find a super obvious typo the next day when it's sent out? Just as a random example.
What is that for you? What do you do when this happens? Freak out? Blush with embarrassment? Make yourself wrong? Find someone to blame? Or do you laugh and say to yourself Cute, Not Bright and ask "What's right about that this I'm not getting?" What could be right? For example, when people tell you about the typo you can see that they are actually READING what you wrote. How wonderful! What an honour. Or perhaps you could invite your readers to make it into a 'typo game' and promise to belly laugh out loud when they catch you out again? Laughing is good, yes? So next time something 'goes wrong' ask yourself "What's right about that this I'm not getting?" and keep asking it over and over, even if you don't believe it or feel it at first. What if there was ALWAYS something right about a 'bad' situation? What if you simple had to ask to see? *** This is one of my favourite Qs, which I will repost from time to time.
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What does your life feel like right now? Light? Heavy? Fun? Serious? Energetic? Lethargic? Joyous? Miserable? Frivolous? Exhausting? Add your own words, image or feelings to describe your life as it is now.
Got them? Sometimes it helps to close your eyes to do it. Now ask yourself "Is this the life I truly desire?" If your life is not exactly what you'd like, then do it again, first asking "If time, money and other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose for my life, living and reality?" Now get a sense of the energy of the life you'd truly like. Add words, images, smells, feelings, sensations too if that helps. Got it? Are two images the same, or different? What if you carried with you the energy of the life you'd truly like, and chose consciously people and things that matched it, regardless of your normal logical pros and cons? Could that make it easier for you to create the life you'd truly like? Do you know what you'd really like in life? What you truly desire?
Have you ever allowed yourself to consider it? Or have you always been/ done/ chosen what others have told you is The Right Thing? If your life is not going quite how you'd like it, maybe you've been choosing for others, rather than for you? So how do you know what you'd really like? Easy. Ask"What do I truly desire?" and see what comes to mind. It might not be anything that you've ever acknowledged before. Or maybe you were told it would not be: appropriate/ realistic/ possible/ safe/ healthy/ normal/ sensible/ or any one of 1000s of words people like to use to control you. Are you willing to look at what you'd really like now? Once you can see your true desires, then you can invite them into your life. You just need to ask. How often do you ask for what you'd really like? All the time? Sometimes? Almost never?
And how much of what you'd really like do you have in your life right now? A lot? A little? Almost nothing? Do you see the connection? Don't ask, don't get. What stops you from asking for what you'd like? Do you think that you're being selfish? That there's not enough to go around and you should give up your bit (whatever that is) for someone else? That you don't deserve it? That you don't need to ask for anything from anyone? That people should know what you want? Something else? Are these true? Or are they interesting points of view that you may have bought from someone, sometime? Have you ever heard the axiom: ask and you will receive? Have you ever asked? So if you don't have the life you'd truly like, ask "What if I asked for the life I'd truly like?" Then ask. And receive. How often do you get angry? What makes you angry? How quickly does your anger come to the surface?
Do you think it's wrong? Does the anger envelope you in layers you can't escape? Does it distract you from creating the life you'd like? Rather than considering the anger in itself wrong, what if you asked a question to get clear on what it truly is? For example - Heated Anger can indicate where you are in judgement, rather than interesting point of view - Explosive Anger can show you where you've been suppressing yourself, or - Rising Anger may indicate someone is lying to you. So next time you sense anger on its way, ask yourself "What is this anger?" Then notice what shows up and acknowledge it, breath and ask "What would I like to create?" In doing so you'll be free to choose for you, rather than be in reaction. Of course you can aways play with Potent Anger, which is where you choose to get your point across. Think of this anger as the power you use to stop people blindly walking across the road in front of a truck. Have you been asking questions but things don't seem to be changing the way you'd hoped?
What sort of questions are you asking? Do they sound like this "What's it going to take for my red sports car/ young, blond, sexy date/ prestigious, highly regarded, well paying job to show up/ people to recognise me and what I'm doing?" Are these really questions? Or are they conclusions with question marks attached? In other words, you've already decided what you want: a red sports car/ young, blond, sexy date/ prestigious, highly regarded, well paying job/ public recognition and appreciation. So if you think you know how to ask a question, but you're not seeing the change you'd like, check your questions by asking "Am I asking a question, or a statement with a question mark attached?" If you discover you're in conclusion, simply ask a real question. Are you stuck in a rut with someone? Your insignificant other? A parent? Your boss? A co-worker? A celebrity or authority figure? Or even a friend?
Do you sense something is not quite right between you and them, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to make it work? What have you decided this person means to you? Have you made them the answer to something? For example, have you made your boy/girlfriend The One? Are your parents proof that you're The Good Child? Is your boss The Enemy around who you rally with your co-workers? Is a co-worker The Unfair Competition to excuse your own uninspired performance? Is the celebrity or authority figure The Hero Coming to Save the Day? Is your friend ...... [fill in their role and it's value here]? If you'd like to be free from these limits and to see people for who they truly are — rather than what you've decided they are -- ask "What have I made this person mean to me?" Then acknowledge it, and say farewell (to the rut). If you'd like to continue having that person in your life, ask another question. Do you ever blame other people or circumstances for things that don't work out in your life?
Does it make you feel better and help you create the life you'd actually like? Or does it side-track you into an Alice-in-Wonderland like maze of distraction? If you'd like to create the life you'd truly like, acknowledge your role as creator of everything that shows up in it. How? For every good, bad, ugly, beautiful thing that shows up in it, ask "How did I create this?" It'll likely be easy for the good, beautiful things. What about acknowledging that you created the bad, ugly things? By taking ownership of everything in your life, you gain clarity on how you created it. And then you can see how to create it differently. How? Ask questions. Have you ever been stuck not knowing what to do? You've got two or more great (or not so great) options and you just don't know which one to go with?
Are you frozen by the idea that you might make the wrong choice? Have you made this choice the answer to your life? And if you get it wrong, people will say 'there you go again, making no-good choices' and your life will be over? Is that true? What if there were no wrong choices? What if no choice was the answer to your life? What if a choice was quite simply that: a choice. A choice that is good for 10 seconds, and then you get to choose again. How does that feel? A bit lighter? Can you choose now? So go on, remind yourself: a choice is just a choice and you can do it every 10 seconds. When you're stuck, ask "What if I just chose, dammit?" Then choose. Repeat. What's your point of view about magic? That it's voodoo and a lie? Or that it's a bit of a laugh for kids? And wow...what if you really could do things like Harry Potter and X-men? Wouldn't that be fun!
Do you ever have wonderful people or things show up in your life with ease and by surprise? Is that like magic? Does it make you smile? What if magic were simply things appearing from a source you couldn't see and didn't yet understand? What if magic was simply science you couldn't yet explain? Like if only just now you saw fire for the first time? If you'd like to invite more magic into your life and create things you thought impossible, ask "What magic can I ask for today?" And then ask. Do you find you are often disappointed by the way things turn out? Are you ever let down by what people say or do?
Have you ever tried to explain to someone exactly what behaviour and words would make things work like magic between you? Did they hear you? How often has someone tried to convince you that their point of view is what you really desire? Can you control what other people do in their lives, even in relation to you? No. People will always do exactly what works for them and pay no attention to your point of view. The only thing you can change is you. So if you'd like to be free of feeling disappointed or let down by other people, ask "What expectations do I have here?" When you are clear about your expectations, ask another question, like "If I had no expectations of anything or anyone, what could I change to create the result I'd truly like?" What if creating what you'd like in life was as simple as changing your point of view? How many times a day do you hear yourself saying "I'd like to be/ do/ have X but I can't/ shouldn't/ because of X? Once, 10, 100 times a day?
Sure you're clever. You've analyzed the thing from all angles and worked out exactly why you can't/ shouldn't. And you're not wrong. When you decide something is not possible, you're absolutely right. It's not. Would you like more possibility in life? Would you like to be/ do/ have all those things you've decided are not possible? If so, ask "What if I stopped being my greatest limitation and started living?" Think of this as a gentle slap on the cheek to remind you all things are possible. Then ask another question, or three hundred, and create your life as you'd really like. Do you ever find yourself talking about a particular topic to anyone who'll listen? Something you'd like people to notice and agree with you about? It could be about the state of the nation, the office, or people's houses, clothes or bodies? The Latest Crisis of the Week?
When you do that, notice your energy. Do you talk about it lightly as a question with an interesting point of view energy, and then get on with the fun of life? Or do you sense a heaviness, a stickiness which distracts you from being joyful? When you say interesting and get on with it, you are being aware and in allowance of it. When you get gummed up with its heaviness, you are the effect of it. So if you'd like to have uninterrupted access to joy in life -- no matter what is going on in the world -- next time you notice yourself repeatedly thinking, saying or doing something, ask "Am I in allowance, or the effect of this?" If you'd like to change something -- not simply talk about it -- ask more questions, like "What is this? Can I change it? If so how?" and "What action can I take"? How do you shop for clothes? Are you a bargain hunter? Do you rely on a friend, shop assistant, or internet influencer to tell you what to buy?
Do you consider what other people will approve? For example, it's the latest fashion that your friends will admire, or its safe-conservative that your workplace will accept? Do you ever ask your body? How does your approach work for you? Is your wardrobe full of clothes you absolutely adore? Are your clothes a joy to wear and make you feel happy all over? Do they make you smile and strut your stuff? Or do you shuffle through life feeling slightly uncomfortable and dressed not quite right? For fun, next time you go shopping or open your wardrobe, ask "Body, what would you like to wear?"Notice what draws your hand or eyes. Touch it. Notice how your skin feels. You'll know when your body wants to wear something. And if nothing draws you, keep on moving until you find something that does...even if it's your birthday suit... Do you have hideous amounts of money? Or just as much as you need to enjoy life? Perhaps you have none at all?
What have you decided money is? Dirty? A necessity? The root of all evil? The answer to your life? Are any of these true? Or does money simply have the meaning you give it? How much have you decided is okay to have? How did you decide? And have you defined the things you can enjoy to fit within its limits? If you would like to change your money flows, start by clearing all the definitions you have about money, and ask "What have I decided money is?" What if instead, you considered money a fun, fabulous tool to enable you to do all, and more, of the things you enjoy in life, including contributing to you, your friends, family and communities? Would that be an invitation for more to come and play? Have you ever been told you're too loud, too active, too energetic, too happy, too full of life and could you TURN IT DOWN or PUT A LID ON IT?
Do you feel bad about it? Do you feel wrong? What if there were nothing wrong with you? What if some people simply don't get your energy, your exuberant expression of life? What if your energy and exuberance is an amazing capacity, a phenomenal talent? A gift the world needs? If you'd like to remind yourself that your energy and exuberance is not wrong, and that some people will simply not get you and become angry or annoyed, ask yourself "How many people can I wake up with my exuberance today?" Then smile and dance on. How often do you get stuck in life? A lot, a little or not at all? Do you ever get into a cranky pants rage or spiral into a frenzy of anxiety? Is that fun for you?
If not, and you'd prefer to have total freedom to see and walk around such roadblocks — to be able to change anything that's not working for you in life — start by asking one of these questions. 1. What if I had infinite, free choice? 2. What if everything were just an interesting point of view? 3. If I had 10 second to choose the rest of my life, what would I choose? 4. What question could I ask? 5. What if form and structure had no significance? 6. Am I in judgement? 7. What does this add to my life? 8. What's the value of competition? 9. What if I didn't buy the story? 10. What am I excluding here? The reality is, you always have choice. Is your life full of ease, joy and abundance?
Not so much? No surprise given how many people seem to enjoy telling you that life must be hard, no fun, and a knock-down-drag-out fight to the death for scarce and dwindling resources. Not to mention the Fear and Terror of The Plague. What if that were not true? If you'd like to find out what else is possible, add this daily mantra to your wake-up routine. "All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory." Saying this will remind you that how you function in life is your choice. And, if you choose, you can function from ease and joy and glory (exuberant expression and abundance) no matter what is going on. Even when 'things go wrong' you can experience them with ease and create any change you desire. It's ALL of life: the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Everything is included and nothing as to be a difficulty. The reality is, you always have a choice. Do you feel that you're not enough? You don't fit in? That you must strive to become something that your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, media, governments or others have told you that you should be?
Certainly you couldn't possibly be enough just as you are! You need to be something better, right? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being you -- just as you are -- was exactly right? What if it were more than OK? What if the world actually needs the full range of your talents and abilities that you've been told your whole life were wrong? What would that be like? Do you know? If you'd like to find out, ask "What if being me could change the world?" If you're not clear on who you are, ask "If I were me, who would I be?" and "What's right about me that I'm not getting?" What if you could be you and change the world? What have you decided you don't want in your life? People who lie, cheat and steal? Unreliable and flakey people? Bossy and know-it-all people? What else?
How much energy do you spend judging others in an effort to keep certain people out of your life? Does it ever work? Is it fun for you? Does it expand your life in ways you'd like? If not, rather than judging and excluding, be in allowance and inclusive. When you exclude, you define the limits of what you are willing to receive and shut off your access to infinite possibilities. So when you notice you're trying to avoid someone, ask "What am I excluding here, that if I were to be in allowance of would contribute to my life in ways I can't yet imagine?" Will this put you at the mercy of other people? No. When you are aware and inclusive, you will see what's going on and how to choose the bits that work for you. Be aware that they may end up excluding you from their lives. Why? Some people are only interested in you so long as you're under their control. When things don't work out the way you'd like, what do you do? Do you ask "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" What else is possible?" "Cute, not bright!" and "How does it get any better than this?"
Or do you try to find someone or something to blame? Do others blame you when things don't go right for them? Blame means to find fault with, to hold responsible for, or to condemn as wrong. Is blame real and true? Or is it an interesting point of view based on someone's view of right and wrong? When you buy into the idea that "someone must take the blame" how much trauma and drama comes your way? How much energy do you spend excusing, defending or deflecting the blame? Is that fun? If not, and you'd like to be free from the control of distractors like this, ask "Is this blame distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?" What title have you decided you must have to be valued? Girlfriend/ boyfriend? Husband/ wife? Mother/ father? Community leader? Volunteer? Best friend? Executive? Director? CEO? Master chef? Business person of the year? Dux? No. 1? Sir? Ma'am? Professor? Cool dude? What other title do you value?
Will a title make you into the person you'd like to be? Does not having it make you less? Or do you create you, regardless -- and often in spite of -- your title and other people's opinions? When someone gives you a title do you automatically become that? Have you ever had a boss/ friend/ partner who wasn't that? Did their titles automatically make them what you desired? And what if by accepting a title you limited yourself to what other people decided was right/ wrong good/ bad for that role, which may not work for you? What if even without any title, you were an amazing gift to the world? So ask "What title am I limiting myself to, that if I didn't, would allow me to see and create the life I truly desire?" What gift could you be if you chose for you, beyond the limits of any title? Are you in a relationship? How's it going? Perhaps you're looking to change an existing one, or create a new one?
Start by getting clear on your definition. What words do you use to describe your preferred one? Honour, trust, vulnerability, gratitude, allowance, gift/receive, communion, contribution, generative, generosity of spirit, joy, fun, freedom? Words like serious, promise, love, commitment, respect, responsibility, give/take, protect, maintain, keep, right/wrong, meaningful, obligation, security, compromise? Or perhaps others? Which words feel light? Which feel heavy? There is no correct answer, just an awareness of your preferences. If you don't have the relationship you'd like now, you may be using a definition that doesn't match what you truly desire. So get clear and create what you'd like, rather than what others tell you is right, ask "What does relationship mean to me" How much of the world is focused on brain power? What did you study? Where you studied? What are your qualifications?
Do you feel inadequate, that you're not smart enough, quick enough, or that you don't have enough information packed into your little grey cells? Have you decided you need to spend all day/week/year/rest of your life in the library or on the internet sucking up more? Does your brain hold the answers to your life? Or is your brain just one part of you? Does what you're seeking lie somewhere else? Have you considered that if your brain really had the power to figure out your life, wouldn't it have done so already? If so, and you'd like to access more of what you already know, ask "If I didn’t think, what would I know?" What do you already know? What if a brain was a wonderful thing to waste? Got a pain? Feeling sick?
Have you put your body in the hands of a 100+ doctors and other experts and still don't know what's wrong? Have you asked your body? What if it knew more than anyone? What if pain was simply your body screaming at you to listen? It might start out as a slight twinge or ache: your body saying "Excuse me, I need something," which if you ignore becomes a nagging discomfort "Helloooooo! I REALLY need something!" Until finally your body screams in pain "HEY YOU!!!!! I NEED SOME ATTENTION NOW...OR ELSE!!!!!" So before that happens ask "Body, what are you telling me?" Once you start listening to your body, keep asking questions like "What information do I need?" and "Who do I need to talk to?" until you discover what your body is asking for. |
First visit?If you're brand new, then you might also like to start from Q1 here and work your through to now? Or search for the topic of your choice above. What would you like to ask about? A relationship? Money? Work? Body? Health? Or life in general? Enter your keyword below and see what shows up!
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