Do you find sometimes, no matter how kind your heart, good your intentions, qualified your expertise, or extensive your experience, some people, animals and situation simply won't let you in? They can't, won't or don't want to hear, not even if you ask a questions and sit listening patiently?
What if there were another way? What if you could still be an amazing contribution, with your mouth completely shut?
Animals show us that communication is so much more than the blah blah blah coming out of your mouths. Birds fly in formation, interchanging the lead to give each other a break. Elephants run for the hills well before a tsunami hits. And bees, yes we all know about the amazing bees.
So next time you think you'd like to help, before you open your mouth, ask "What energy could I contribute here?"
What if contributing the energy of space and allowance were greater than anything that came out of your mouth?
Are you fabulous? Yes, of course you are! Faster than a speeding flapjack, more powerful than a grizzly toddler, and able to leap high obstacles at work and lego in the lounge room.
You can do it ALL. The question is, how much fun is it for you to do it all? Do you ever get a pain in your neck, or upper or lower back? Who's that pain and what's the burden weighing you down?
Did you know that kids — even the grown-up married-to-you kind — can do amazing things if you ask them? Do you ask them? Or do you smoulder under the "Can't they see how busy I am and why am I the only one who knows how to do this?" heap of mulch until you ignite?
If you have a hint of any burden on your back, or would simply like to increase the fun factor in your life, ask "What if I didn't have to do it all myself?"
And then invite others around you to contribute to their and your lives.
Do you like to help people in trouble? Is it easy? Do they shy away from you? Do they run? Are you frustrated or saddened when it seems that nothing you do makes the difference that you see is possible?
What to do? Truth, can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? No. No matter how great your skill, advice, experience, or expertise you cannot help someone if they don't want it. They must choose it.
Sometimes people just don't want to change. And sometimes they just don't know change is possible and that you can show them how.
How? Ask questions. First, ask yourself "What can they receive from me with ease?" What do you sense? Would they receive a light question? Or perhaps just your energy at first?
Then, if you sense the issue is related to self-worth, for example, invite them to a different possibility by asking directly or energetically "What's right about you that you're not getting?"
Be aware the issue may not be what you thought. Follow the energy, asking more questions until it lightens. Or until you sense that, for now, they will receive no more.
How many coincidences show up in your life? Do you ever say things like "I was just thinking about you, and you called!" "I knew that would happen!" or "I don't know why I came here today, but I found the thing that I've been looking for for ages — at half price!"
Do things fall out of your mouth and people say "How did you knew what I was thinking? I was just about to say that!" How often do you dismiss things that flit across your mind as not possible, not important, or not right, only to find almost immediately that is was the exact thing that was required? Do you wish you'd paid more attention?
What if you were way more perceptive than you have ever been willing to admit? Would you now claim, own and acknowledge that talent, and trust you more?
If so, next time you notice something flickering across your awareness like a gentle breeze, ask "What am I perceiving here?" and stay present and in the question.
What does infinite mean to you? No limit? Endless? Abundant? More than you can imagine?
How many possibilities do you feel you have in your life right now? Lots, a few, not many, or the ones that will make my parents/ teachers/ boss/ partner/ children/ friends/ government happy?
Last time I checked with science, it said that we live in a free-will universe and we can choose freely. If that's true, then how can you not have infinite possibilities?
Who or what is limiting your choices? You, or someone else?
If you'd like to unleash the possibilities in your life, ask "What if I had unlimited possibilities?"
You may then need to ask more questions to generate specifics, like time, money, health and so on. This question is simply the first step to flush away your autopilot self-limitation, and to remind you that you always have a choice.
Do you have something you'd like to do, but are finding it tough to complete, or perhaps even start?
What's that for you? Pass an exam, get a job, run a business, buy a house, go on a holiday, meet a fun girl/boy to hang out with, have children, exercise, get up in the morning, relax at night, change the world?
And what about the not-so-much-fun stuff? For example, tell your parents something they don't know (uh-oh), quit/change schools, quit/change jobs, write something, host something, exercise, tell someone you're moving on, nurse someone in their decline, let go of a loved one, question the accepted narrative?
When did you decide life had to be hard and suffered? Would you like a life of fun and ease instead?
Ease does not mean laze. It means doing the most complex thing with the greatest joy and to the maximum effect. If so, ask "What if I could do this with ease?" and breeeeeeeathe.
Are you plagued by past events? Bugged by people who "did you wrong" somewhere, sometime, long ago? Do events and people from 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago seep into your dreams and shake you awake? Do you think "If only I'd done/said X it would have all been different?" Do you finally have the perfect retort?
If you'd like to be free of the past to enjoy your present, ask "What have I made significant about the past that isn't true?"
If you had not created your life exactly the way you have — including all the not-so-great episodes — would you be the same person you are now?
Would you prefer to be the now-you, or a different-you? If you are happy being the now-you, then remind yourself by asking "What if there was nothing wrong with my past?"
And if you'd prefer to be a different-you, you can be. Just choose it.
Do you think there is a limit to your energy? Do you often feel tired or drained? When you exercise, do you worry you'll run out of energy?
Here's what science says. Energy cannot be created or be destroyed; it can only be transformed into another sort of energy. Systems — like people and things — can transfer energy between them simply.
It appears there is no scientific reason to lack energy. Elite athletes know this. The only difference is a point of view, not physical access to energy.
So if you'd like to invigorate your life, ask "What if I had unlimited energy?" and then consciously pull energy from everything around you: the space, the people, the trees, the sun, whatever is available.
And don't forget to ask "Am I tired, or bored?" Often the key to unleashing unlimited energy is quite simply fun. Truth, are you having fun?
What does money mean to you? Are any of these points of view yours?
How do your points of view about money make you feel? Light or heavy? How often does money make you smile, laugh and light up with joy? Every day, or just on pay day?
If you'd like more lightness and joy about money, ask "What if everything about money was doing it for the fun of it?"
How you make money, and how you view making money is a choice. You can choose fun, or no-fun. And there is no right choice. Only a choice that works for you.
Who in your life have you made so perfect, so necessary that you let them walk all over you and sell you down the river?
Do you truly need anyone else in your life? Having people around can be a wonderful and fun experience. Do you need them? No, especially if you're their punching bag.
Why do you make some people indispensable, even though they're an ELF or a rattlesnake? To pay the rent? To be there for your kids? To manage your books? To have a coffee with? To save the free world?
Could you find other people to contribute those things in your life? Probably.
So if you find you are yet again being taken for a ride by someone you think is perfect, or necessary and you've told yourself you can't live without, ask "What am I refusing to see?"
You might just see that they are not as indispensable as you thought they were, and your life might get a whole lot easier. Allowance is not a doormat.
Are you finding it hard to giggle and hoot, wiggle and skip? What about a hint of a smile? Is even that hard?
Do you remember laughing all the time when you were a kid? When did you buy the idea that you had to give up your non-stop hysterical giggling and "get serious"?
Do you still believe that? Do you think it wouldn't suit you? That you're too old to be silly? That you've got to keep things organised and on track? That you're the responsible one and if you don't do it, no one will, and so there's no time for frivolity? And after all, you have to save the world?
What if you could run a well-oiled machine, help all the ducks and kittens do what ducks and kittens need to do, smile, giggle, hoot, wiggle and skip at the same time, AND save the world?
What if a bit of a giggle even made you look and feel younger and gave you more energy...(to save the world)? Like to find out? Then ask "What if I didn't take myself so seriously?" and start with a smile.
Feeling anxious? Worried about something or someone?
Is that yours? Or someone else's?
How many people around you do you hear or see fretting about one thing or another everyday? A few, or almost everyone? And even if they're not talking about it, or showing it obviously on their face, can you feel it? Not to mention what you see and hear hourly on the news.
So it should be no surprise that even if your life is actually pretty darn amazing, you somehow feel anxious.
If you'd like to change that, next time you start to feel or say "What if this X terrible thing happens?" instead STOP, acknowledge how clever you are to be able to pick up all these feelings, and ask "Whose anxiety is this?"
If the feeliong lightens, then you know it wasn't yours. Now invite your smile back to the party of life.
Are you having a rough time, facing something tough? Do people around you say or do things that just get up your nose?
Does it seem like everything is going to ell in a hand basket? Do you frown all day, walk around with stooped shoulders, and snap at everyone...if you can get out of bed that is?
Would you like to change that? Even if you don't think it's possible and can't see a way out, ask "What if I just smiled all day today?"
This requires no thinking. Just pull those lips back into a smile. No matter what happens, no matter who says or does what, smile and be interesting point of view. If you choose to stay in bed all day, smile at the ceiling.
If you need to, pull a really big rubber band across your mouth and hook it up to both ears to keep smiling. Believe it or now, science has shown this actually works to change your mood. The only question is: are you ready to change?
Do you have someone in your life close to death, or who has just passed? Are you overwhelmed by sadness or buried in mourning? Perhaps you're exhausted by trying to help them hang on? Would you prefer another option?
If so, ask "What if death wasn't what I thought it was?"
What if birth and death were two sides of the same coin? Both transitions into something new, unknown, undefined?
We honour and celebrate birth. We smile with joy when we see the limitless possibilities of a newborn baby. What if death brought us similar freedom and possibilities?
And what if your smile and conscious choice to celebrate and acknowledge the memories of a life lived -- no matter how great or small -- created space and peace for the transition beyond? Could that bring greater ease for you around death?
What gift could you be to the person passing?
How old are you now? How old do you feel?
What do people tell you about age? About what will happen when you turn 13, 20, 30, 40, 50 60 and beyond?
Does every decade come with a set of rules that people tell you you'll follow: your body will change; you'll have mood swings; you'll be obsessed with sex; you'll want children; you'll be obsessed with sex; you'll get tired and fat; you'll lose interest in sex; you'll grow more and more wrinkly, weak, frail, confused and sick.
Have you ever see people that naturally look and act years, even decades younger than their physical age? And the reverse? So you know either option is possible. What makes the difference? And what if it were possible for you to choose your preferred option?
Like to find out? If so, ask "What if age did not mean what they say?" Then notice the stories other people like to tell you about what age means, and choose to listen to yourself — your body — about what you and it would prefer.
Do you still feel 5-18 years old? Then invite your body to feel that energy too and be it.
How comfortable are you in your skin?
Do you feel that you are the complete, natural expression of who you really are? Or do you sometimes feel confused or uncomfortable, not quite yourself?
Whenever you feel a little — or a lot — not like yourself, ask "Who am I trying to be?"
There is nothing wrong with acknowledging other people's greatness. But will unconsciously adopting other people's traits create that same greatness in you? Maybe. And you would adopt not-so-great traits for what reason?
This question will help you see more clearly the behaviour, thoughts, loves, fights, sacrifices, hopes, dreams, or other that are not naturally yours, that you are taking on as yours.
Once you can see them, you can let them go if they don't serve you and rediscover yourself. How? Ask "If I were me, who would I be?"
Do you sense the world is more complicated than you like? Do you feel compelled to make things more complex than you think necessary?
When you do a presentation at work, do you make it the simplest, cleanest, to-the-point version? Or do you feel obliged to add all the bells and whistles? When you write an essay for school, do you feel you have to include the most difficult sounding words and concepts? When you find people you like, do you try to impress them with how much you know?
Nothing wrong with complex if it's fun, easy, feels light, and works for you. And if it doesn't work, ask "What if simple were right for me?" Are you willing to be aware of what works for you — simple, complex, or in between — and choose that?
How much fun could you have by functioning elegantly: generating the greatest result with the least effort?
How often have you been told life is a rollercoaster? That you have to take the good with the bad? That without downs there would be no ups?
What if your life had no ups and downs? Do you think you'd flatlined? Have you decided that without the thrill of the up-down rollercoaster you'd be dead?
Do you enjoy being down? If not, then ask "What if my life just got better and better?
What makes your up times? What makes your down times? Is it what happens? Or is it your point of view about what happens and your willingness to change?
What if your point if view was that you could simply choose to be happe, without needing to be unhappy, to experience the difference?
What if you remembered to ask "What's rights about this that I'm not getting?"
What if happiness were just a choice?
Have you ever had a moment's peace in your life? When your life seem to be coasting along nicely?
Have you had times when you thought all your problems were just about to come to an end, and then something else happened? Do you scratch your head and say "My troubles just never seem to end?" or "If it's not one headache, it's another?"
Here's a different question. Do you bore easily? Do you always like to have a few — hundred — things going on? Nothing wrong with that. With ten fingers and toes, you can do at least 20 things at once brilliantly, right?
Have you decided that you'd rather have problems to solve than nothing to do?
If this feels light, ask "What part of this have I created to keep myself entertained?" Then ask "What fun, generative and rewarding things could I create instead?"
Have you ever had something go majorly "wrong" in life? What you'd call a "disaster"?
Like a leaking underground water pipe that rang up a ten thousand dollar bill without you knowing, only then to cost you a few more thousand to dig out and replace? Like failing an interview or exam that was going to make or break your life? Or twisting your ankle in the final of your own Olympic equivalent? What was your disaster?
Look now at your current situation. What is your "disaster?" Having your business shut down over night by the government, with no clear idea about when it could re-open? Being shut off from your friends and family, unable to move freely until you-don't-know-when? What else?
Is a disaster what happens, or is it how you receive what happens?
If you'd prefer not to suffer, but rather be aware of how you can harness change — even dramatic sudden change — to create new preferred possibilities, ask "What if this is better than I can imagine?"
Then with no expectation, keep smiling and breathing and ask another question. You never know what you can create until you ask. And at the very least, your smile will side-step stress and frown lines.
You're smart, you work hard, you got good grades at school, you help your family nicely, you've got a great job, everyone says your partner is perfect, your kids are healthy and happy, you've got enough money, a nice place to live, a sexy car, some good investments, and enviable mini-breaks and maxi get-aways a few times a year.
Your life is perfect. And even if you can only claim one or two of these things, you're doing pretty well, right?
So what do you do if you have all these things, and yet somehow feel something is missing?
There is nothing wrong with these things. They can certainly be fun. So if you have all of these things — or more! — and you're not having fun, perhaps you've made them mean something they're not?
If so, ask "What have I misidentified as living?"
What if you could enjoy these things as well as create your life the way you'd like? How? Ask another question.
How much time do you spend second guessing whether you'll fail at something or not? Do you say "I'd like to do it, but I probably won't be any good" or "I'll give it a go, but I'm sure I won't do very well?" Some of this may be because you think you shouldn't big-note yourself.
How much of it do you end up believing?
There is nothing wrong with this point of view. Be aware, that your point of view creates your reality. So if you think you'll be no good, then you're absolutely correct.
If you'd like to create a different reality — an expansive, can-do reality full of possibility, then start with a different point of view. Start by asking "What if success were the only option?"
What is the definintion of success? That's up to you. How have you defined success? What if by being clear on what you'd truly like as your life and living, then success IS the only option?
How's business? Do you consider it a serious matter? That you should focus your furrowed brow on developing detailed, complicated and very important strategic plans? When you think about it, do you smile or frown?
If you're the frowner, do you think that's how it's supposed to be? That it's wrong to show that you enjoy business, or that doing things elegantly -- getting the best result for the least effort -- is somehow being flippant, cheating, or not serious enough?
Would you like to enjoy business more and get better results more easily? If so, start by giving up all the fixed points of view about it and ask "What if happiness were good for business?"
Are you willing to enjoy every moment of your business AND get results? It's possible you know. People create huge income from doing things they enjoy all the time. How? They choose to do things they enjoy.
Happiness is just a choice and a smile is very good for business.
Have you ever seen an empty block of land, that's just been cleared for building? When there are no trees, no plants, no apparent life at all?
What happens after a few days? Do weeds start to appear? And after a few weeks, do you need another clearing? What about a few months, or even years? Has the whole place been completely covered again?
The nature of the planet is strong and, like this, tells you that no matter what you do, IT WILL SURVIVE. With, or without you.
What is an earthquake? A tsunami? A bushfire? A mudslide? A flood? A drought? What is the planet telling you that you're not hearing?
Would you like to enjoy the planet a little longer? If so, ask "What does the planet require of me?" Take notice of what comes to mind and contribute that, no matter how tiny or seemingly insignificant.
If you find it hard to see what comes to mind, you can always simply start with a smile and happy thoughts.
What applies to you today? Pick any and all of these.
It's my birthday; I had the most amazing cup of coffee; the sky is clear, blue and has fluffy clouds; I'm feeling fit and healthy; I hung out with fun, fabulous people (even if it was online); someone helped me out; I got what I wanted done at work/home; I got my study assignment done on time; I had a delicious sleep; I had a mani/ pedi/ backrub; my favourite shop was having a sale; I helped someone and they smiled; I saw a rerun of my favourite show; my team scored surprising points; I (almost, really!!) got a hole-in-one; the steak was cooked just right; I had a house full of screaming kids; I didn't have a house full of screaming kids; I laughed till I cried; I cried till I laughed; I felt alive; I felt free.
None of these apply to you? Then ask "What can I celebrate today?" and think of ONE thing that you saw/ did/ experienced/ created today and CELEBRATE your life.
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