If you have something in your life you've been trying to change continually to no effect, ask "What do I love about this?"
How willing are you to change or let go of things you love? Not much? Not at all?
Are you ever distracted by a fear that you will never have it again. For example, a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all?
When something is not working for you, first get clear on what parts of it you love.
Then you can ask other questions like "What would it take for me to find something else that would be an even greater contribution to my life?" and "What would it take for the parts of this that are not working for me, to change into something greater than I could imagine?"
When you become clear what you love about something – and are willing to let it go, or demand that it change – you will no longer be weighed down by it.
Instead, you will have the freedom to choose it, or not choose it. The reality is, you always have choice.
One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect.
The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, the right person for the job, the right product, the right strategy. The One.
Why? It stops you looking for anything greater and blinds you to other possibilities.
So even if you think your work, business, relationship, strategy or life is working very nicely right now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?”
This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in the business of change. Questioning the people and strategies you think are the answer, can make you an industry leader and innovator.
And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before with the same people, it will be because that is still the most generative option. Not because you were stuck in a rut or blinded.
Do you feel your life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? Or perhaps it bores you?
Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? How often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy, to do something for someone else?
Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when 'things need to be done,' start by asking “What else could I add to my life?”
For example, what if you added a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or asked your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss, technology to do more (or something!)?
Perhaps you've started a new project, or have a new target you'd like to reach, or surpass?. What information/joy/playfulness/support/else could you add to your life to help generate this with ease, or something greater?
What if simply sprinkling a smile here and there throughout your day created more than you could possibly imagine?
Are you stuck? Is something or someone not working out the way you'd like? Or perhaps you'd just prefer to generate something even better in your life?
Whenever you'd like to create change, start by asking a question.
Why? A question creates an opening for something that you might not have been able, or willing to see before, to come into view. A question also empowers you to shift out from wherever you're been stuck. .
An answer, decision, conclusion, or judgement serves only to limit your field of vision and disempower you.
This is the aim of The Daily Q; providing you a bunch of the simplest, most effective questions within easy reach.
So today's question is for when you have a brain freeze and can't think of a question.
Ask yourself “What question could I ask here?”
It's so simple it might even make you smile, which is always good too.
Got problems? Do you like them? Does it give you something to chat about with your friends, a puzzle to solve?
What if you didn't have problems?
What could you enjoy using the time and energy you now pour into problem solving?
If you'd like to find out, ask “What have I decided is a problem, which if I looked at it differently is something to be thankful for?”
For example, rather than being upset that you have to work from home, be grateful you're getting paid to work in your PJs. Rather than be frustrated about home schooling your kids, be grateful you can create a special time together before they grow up and never want to see you again. Rather than be angered that someone is limiting your choices, be grateful for the chance to find out what really matters to you. Rather than wallowing in victimhood, be grateful that you still have choices and can create the world you'd like if you choose.
So next time you find yourself complaining about something weighing you down, rather than trying to fix the problem (make it a better problem?), what if you looked at it differently and transformed it into something else?
How? Next question: "What action can I take?"
Have you ever noticed that you're a little too smart or too fast for most people? What you get in a heartbeat, others can take minutes or even years to get, if ever?
Sometimes it's most effective to be Cute Not Bright...even though you're not.
Instead of fighting to be heard or understood, play the Blonde game and ask “I'm sorry. I'm confused. I thought it was A B C. Now someone tells me its X Y Z. What do you know? Can you please show me X to help me understand?”
Practice saying this authentically with a pure, innocent Blonde energy (it won't work using your natural more-powerful-than-a-locomotive vibe).
When people are telling you something in a SHOUTY voice as if you're an IDIOT, oblige them by asking Dumb And Confused questions. Gently lead them to either tell you what you already knew (but which they would never admit if you challenged them) or admit they can tell you, but they can't show you.
The aim is not to prove you're right and they're wrong. This is a tool to help you get the result you desire, with the greatest ease.
Are the things you'd like not showing up in your life?
Perhaps you're (select any and all that apply): smart, educated, articulate, hard working, diligent, polite, kind, good looking, well connected, in the zone, lucky, [enter your own special talents here _________________________], and generally have everything going for you, and yet the things you'd like are just not showing up. What is that?
Do you have any of these points of view?
Having any of these, or similar points of view will cut off your ability to receive. In other words, even when things try to show up in your life, you won't see or allow them in.
So if you'd like to allow the things you'd like into your life, ask yourself “What am I unwilling to receive?”
When you're clear on your points of view about receiving, ask "What's it going to take for X to show up?" again. Then notice what shows up - no matter in what form and including somebody else's point of view - and ask "What action could I take?"
What have you decided you must keep being/ doing/ having, no matter what? You made a decision, so you'll stick to it even if it kills you. After all, that's the right way to live, isn't it?
Maybe. Or would you prefer another option to killing yourself to prove you're right?
What if instead, you created your life by consciously choosing things that contributed to your life in ways you enjoy?
How? Ask “If I had 10 seconds to live the rest of my life, what would I choose?”
This is not about making random changes for change's sake. The question is designed to remind you what science says: this is a free-will universe and you have choice.
You may end up choosing the same thing continuously every 10 seconds, as long as it works.
And if one day it doesn't, you'll know and you can choose something else that does.
Are you bored, unexcited or simply uninspired with your study or work? Perhaps you've been doing something because you decided it was a good career choice, a noble cause, a higher purpose, or just because you've always done it? You'd be crazy to give it up; you'd let everyone down, right?
What about your relationships? Do you spend time with people simply because you work with, they've been friends forever, they're family, or you're worried they'll be upset if you don't?
And life in general, how's that going? If you've been feeling a little (or a lot) flat of late, start by asking “Who and what truly excites and inspires me?”
Then whatever comes to mind, choose that. See how it works out. Ask the question again. Repeat following the energy of whatever and whomever excites and inspires you.
In other words, rather than doing something begrudgingly because you think it is 'right' (for whom?) or expected (by whom?), what if you were excited and inspired by what you did everyday, and by everyone around you?
Would your life ever be tiresome or hard, even when sudden disruptions or restrictions are thrown in your way? And what amazing contribution could you be to the world, by doing wholeheartedly what you love, rather than half-heartedly what you think you should?
Are you addicted to organising everything around you, designing the perfect system, keeping the perfect house, sticking to the ultimate schedule, or something else?
Do you get irritated - even downright cranky - when the ducks don't line up and the kittens don't herd? Does your blood pressure rise when something flies in from out of the blue and destroys your carefully constructed order?
If so, and you'd prefer to avoid bursting a blood vessel, ask yourself "What if I created my life from chaos?"
Consider nature, where the most highly functional and efficient systems exist in apparent chaos. Like flowers and bees. In nature, do flowers grow in neatly ordered rows? No. Myriads of flowers flourish randomly wherever they can. And yet bees easily find the kind that suits them (bees are not all the same you know), pollinate them, and contribute elegantly and powerfully to the cycle of life.
This is not to suggest you create random, artificial chaos. Simply that even if things appear messy, you need not be the effect of them if you can see where to collect the pollen.
Are you willing to be aware of the flowers regardless of any apparent chaos that comes your way?
Remember when you were a child and every day was an adventure? When your To Do list something like this: wake up, have fun, go to bed...maybe, or just fall asleep mid-play?
Does your life still have that energy? Or is your To Do list now more like: drag myself out of bed, do what I have to, work and drink too much, and fall into bed...with a social media few rants in between?
Would you like to reclaim the energy of your child?
Rather than resigning yourself to being weighed down by responsibilities and perceived limitations, what if you embraced life as an exciting adventure?
If so, wake up every morning and acknowledge you're in charge of creating your day by asking “Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures can I have?”
When you start each day like this, will you have the same old study, job, work, business, family, health or money problems and restrictions?
Maybe. Or maybe you'll see new, exciting possibilities that you've never noticed before.
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Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right.
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