Something not working in your life? Feeling unhappy or stuck? Do you see yourself as a victim and without hope? Do you think you're hard up and done over by someone?
Are these points of view limiting you, preventing you from creating the life you'd really like? Would you like to change that?
People stay in the role of the mournful victim all the time because it has some value for them. For example
On the other hand, some people simply don't realize they have the choice to change.
Was that you? Now you know you can choose, would you like to? If so ask “What's the value of hanging on to this?” If it has no value, you would hang on to it for what reason?
The reality is, you always have choice.
How often do you limit your choices, before you even consider them, by deciding you don't have the time or the money?
Time and money are two reasons (excuses) people will always give for not doing something. What if you took them out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose?
To find out, ask “If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?”
Once you are clear on your true desire, you can ask other questions to make it happen, for example
Make sure you ask for more than you think you want, or can even imagine, without incurring hardship, by adding “...with ease, or something greater?”
What do you do when things don't fit into the form and structure you've decided your life must have? When things vary or change? Like now, for example. Old normal gone. Enter 'new normal.'
Do you say “Oh that's interesting. It's different! It's something I never thought about! I wonder how much fun we can have? I wonder what new better and beyond normal can I help create?”
Or do you react with upset and say “This is strange/crazy/stupid. If they only did it this way life would be better! OMG how can I put up with this?”
How much stress or unhappiness do you have because you've decided things have to be a particular way?
If you'd like less stress and more happiness in your life, ask "What if form and structure had no significance?" Then
How? Ask more questions. There's a bunch here www.thedailyq.co you can start with.
How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result?
What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them?
Or are they simply distractions that keep you from creating what you'd truly like?
If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business, life and change you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?”
This will clear such distractions so you see what you'd really like to choose. Then ask "What action can I take?"
Are you willing to have that much freedom?
One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect.
The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, the right person for the job, the right product, the right strategy. The One.
Why? It stops you looking for anything greater and blinds you to other possibilities.
So even if you think your work, business, relationship, strategy or life is working very nicely right now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?”
This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in the business of change. Questioning the people and strategies you think are the answer, can make you an industry leader and innovator.
And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before with the same people, it will be because that is still the most generative option. Not because you were stuck in a rut or blinded.
Do you feel your life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? Or perhaps it bores you?
Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? How often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy, to do something for someone else?
Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when 'things need to be done,' start by asking “What else could I add to my life?”
For example, what if you added a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or asked your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss, technology to do more (or something!)?
Perhaps you've started a new project, or have a new target you'd like to reach, or surpass?. What information/joy/playfulness/support/else could you add to your life to help generate this with ease, or something greater?
What if simply sprinkling a smile here and there throughout your day created more than you could possibly imagine?
Are you stuck? Is something or someone not working out the way you'd like? Or perhaps you'd just prefer to generate something even better in your life?
Whenever you'd like to create change, start by asking a question.
Why? A question creates an opening for something that you might not have been able, or willing to see before, to come into view. A question also empowers you to shift out from wherever you're been stuck. .
An answer, decision, conclusion, or judgement serves only to limit your field of vision and disempower you.
This is the aim of The Daily Q; providing you a bunch of the simplest, most effective questions within easy reach.
So today's question is for when you have a brain freeze and can't think of a question.
Ask yourself “What question could I ask here?”
It's so simple it might even make you smile, which is always good too.
Something going on in your life that is just not sitting right with you? First get clear on exactly what you are stuck on by asking “What is this?”
Once you are clear on the issue, then you can get clear on whether you really would like to change it or not.
How often have you been unable to change something because somewhere, deep down (or even just under the surface), you really didn't desire change?
If you prefer not to change, that's OK. When you get clear on that, you'll be free from the stress of trying to change something continuously to no effect. Perhaps you thought you needed to change it because someone told you you had to?
On the other hand, if you would like to change something, you can, as long as you're willing to do whatever it takes.
Are you willing? To find out ask “Would I like to change it?”
Whenever you find you can't create the change you'd like, it's because you are unwilling to do or be something.
Are you bored, unexcited or simply uninspired with your study or work? Perhaps you've been doing something because you decided it was a good career choice, a noble cause, a higher purpose, or just because you've always done it? You'd be crazy to give it up; you'd let everyone down, right?
What about your relationships? Do you spend time with people simply because you work with, they've been friends forever, they're family, or you're worried they'll be upset if you don't?
And life in general, how's that going? If you've been feeling a little (or a lot) flat of late, start by asking “Who and what truly excites and inspires me?”
Then whatever comes to mind, choose that. See how it works out. Ask the question again. Repeat following the energy of whatever and whomever excites and inspires you.
In other words, rather than doing something begrudgingly because you think it is 'right' (for whom?) or expected (by whom?), what if you were excited and inspired by what you did everyday, and by everyone around you?
Would your life ever be tiresome or hard, even when sudden disruptions or restrictions are thrown in your way? And what amazing contribution could you be to the world, by doing wholeheartedly what you love, rather than half-heartedly what you think you should?
How often do you feel trapped in a no-choice universe? Feeling that right now?
When did your parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, friends, children, community leaders, governments and everyone sell you the idea that you have no choice but to do what they tell you?
What is that for you? To study a subject you hate, take a job you're not interested in, break off a great relationship, marry a person you don't really like, be available to everyone for everything 24/7, subject yourself to something you'd prefers to avoid, consider everyone but you an expert? What else?
Guess what? You always have a choice. Infinite choices in fact. This is a free will universe.
So remind yourself. Next time you feel trapped ask "What choices do I have?"
Then notice whatever possibility feels lightest and ask more questions about what it would take for you to create that as your life.
Of course, it may end up being exactly what the other people were telling you to choose in the first place.
But you'll feel differently about it because it was your choice.
How often do you limit your choices – before you even consider them – by concluding that other people won't approve?
Do you ever say something like “My husband/wife/partner wouldn't agree”, “My parents wouldn't like it” or even “No one else does that, so what would everyone think of me?”
Is worrying about what other people think one of the main reasons you give for not doing something?
What if you took other people out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose?
If you'd like to find out, ask yourself “If other people's points of view weren't real – if everything were just an interesting point of view – what would I choose?”
How many of the world's great science, social, cultural, business and other innovations and discoveries have come from people doing what they loved, and knowing what was right for them, no matter what other people thought was real, true, or possible?
What could be possible for you if you listened more to you?
Remember when you were a child and every day was an adventure? When your To Do list something like this: wake up, have fun, go to bed...maybe, or just fall asleep mid-play?
Does your life still have that energy? Or is your To Do list now more like: drag myself out of bed, do what I have to, work and drink too much, and fall into bed...with a social media few rants in between?
Would you like to reclaim the energy of your child?
Rather than resigning yourself to being weighed down by responsibilities and perceived limitations, what if you embraced life as an exciting adventure?
If so, wake up every morning and acknowledge you're in charge of creating your day by asking “Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures can I have?”
When you start each day like this, will you have the same old study, job, work, business, family, health or money problems and restrictions?
Maybe. Or maybe you'll see new, exciting possibilities that you've never noticed before.
Is something going on in your life that has you stuck and unable to take action? For you to be unable to change something, you have to have decided or concluded something about it.
Ask yourself, what have you decided in your life right now that is perfect, or the answer? A relationship? A job? A business? A government strategy?
When you can see your decisions – and are willing to let them go – all change becomes possible.
So when you're stuck and unable to make the changes you'd really like, ask “What decisions, conclusions, and answers have I made about this?”
This does not mean you have to end the relationship, give up on the job/business quest, or become an anti-government activist. Once you are aware of limitations you have created through decisions and conclusions, you can choose to transform them into something else.
Perhaps into even something better than you could have ever imagined. How? Just ask another question, such as "What information do I need?"
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Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right.
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