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Are you frustrated or upset by anyone in your life? Is someone driving you crazy? Are they too loud, too bossy, too flaky, too up-down-turn-around, too...add your pet peeve here.
Would you like more ease in your life when you're around them, assuming you have to, or would like to be around them? If so, ask “What am I grateful to them for?” and acknowledge them for that. There will always be at least one thing, if not more. Parents who drive you nuts, and are always there to help you with your kids. A friend who is predictably unpredictable, and has shown you people function differently. A lover who picks insane fights, and is great at....um....other things. When you acknowledge someone for who they are, and are grateful for their great bits, you are free and empowered to make the most of the great bits, without being at the effect of the rest.
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Something not working in your life? Feeling unhappy or stuck? Do you see yourself as a victim and without hope? Do you think you're hard up and done over by someone?
Are these points of view limiting you, preventing you from creating the life you'd really like? Would you like to change that? People stay in the role of the mournful victim all the time because it has some value for them. For example
On the other hand, some people simply don't realize they have the choice to change. Was that you? Now you know you can choose, would you like to? If so ask “What's the value of hanging on to this?” If it has no value, you would hang on to it for what reason? The reality is, you always have choice. Do you find you other people are always telling you what to do, things that you'd rather not do, and convince you to give up the things you prefer?
Other people will always try to get you to do things, using obligation and guilt to control you. Why? It makes their lives easier, and you usually do what they tell you to, so why not? Listening to other people's points of view can be useful. You can learn a great deal. And did you know that when you don't feel light and wonderful about a request or demand, you don't have to do it? Next time someone asks/tells you to do something, first ask yourself "Does this work for me?" If it light light and breezy, then go ahead and do it. And if not, smile and with a light, joyful energy say “Thank you so much for thinking of me! Great idea! It doesn't work for me right now. What will it take for you to find someone to get it done? Then smile again and change the subject. You are stating a fact about which no one can argue (it doesn't work for you right now). Don't offer a reason or excuse; these only allow the conversation to continue. If people push you, smile again and say “I'm sorry, it doesn't work for me. It's an interesting idea and I'm sure other people will be keen." And if that still doesn't work, smile and walk away/hang up/delete/block/ whatever it takes until your lightness returns. What do you do when things don't fit into the form and structure you've decided your life must have? When things vary or change? Like now, for example. Old normal gone. Enter 'new normal.'
Do you say “Oh that's interesting. It's different! It's something I never thought about! I wonder how much fun we can have? I wonder what new better and beyond normal can I help create?” Or do you react with upset and say “This is strange/crazy/stupid. If they only did it this way life would be better! OMG how can I put up with this?” How much stress or unhappiness do you have because you've decided things have to be a particular way? If you'd like less stress and more happiness in your life, ask "What if form and structure had no significance?" Then
How? Ask more questions. There's a bunch here www.thedailyq.co you can start with. How often have you shared your excitement with someone about something, only to have them pour cold water over you saying things like “Really? You do know that's crazy...?” or “You did WHAT? Don't you know it's not going to work because of A, B C...Z?”, and even“OMG how STUPID could you be???!!!”
How was that? Not much fun? What happened to your excitement and joy? Did you start doubting yourself, thinking that you really must be stupid? And definitely wrong? Just because someone else doesn't get it, doesn't mean you don't. What if you knew a whole lot more than most people? At least you know what's right and light for you. How would anyone else know that? So when you are enjoying yourself or have a great new idea, remind yourself you know that you know. And say “Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone.”who-can-i-smile-at-today.html And if you do share your joy with someone and they don't get it, smile and thank them for their interesting point of view. Then return to your fun and excitement. What if that could change the world? Do you ever ask this question? Or do you usually wake up and think “How much do I have to get done today?”
Have you noticed that no matter how much you do get done, your To Do list never ends? How does that feel? Light and breezy, or like a dead weight on your back? What if you could create everything in your life – including all the normal day-to-day stuff like running the house, managing the kids, lobbying your elected representatives, changing the world and so on – and have fun at the same time? You won't know till you ask for it, so start by asking “How much fun can I have today?” What if by enjoying every moment of your life you could get more done than you'd ever imagined, and faster? How much fun would that be? What if happiness was just a choice? How much of what you do everyday is driven by your desire to be acknowledged and validated?
Are you always seeking someone's approval, consciously or unconsciously? Do you ever get it? Probably not as often as you'd like. And how often to people shout or laugh at you, telling you you're wrong and a stupid idiot? And what then? Do you try even harder to be seen? If this is not fun and you find you're doing things you don't really enjoy, hoping to please someone else, ask“What if I didn't need to prove myself to anyone?” What if you were absolutely awesome just as you are and did not need anyone else to approve you? Would that make life easier and more fun? How many things do you have in your life that don't work for you, that you think you have to be/do/have because someone else said so?
You have to study for that exam, go to that school, study that subject, enter that company, learn that language, marry that person, have that many children, attend that event, vote for that person, put that in your body, follow that rule and so on. How well do you do them? Just because someone else says you need to be/do/have something is a good idea, will it always work out well for you? Who is the one person who does know what will work for you and what is true for you? YOU. Only you know if something works for you. It feels light as a feather. Unlike all the heavy stuff you know doesn't work for you, but you do anyway because you were told to. So if you're not as happy as you'd like to be, start listening and trusting you more by asking "Does this work for me?" Notice whether you feel heavy or light. And if you'd like to change any heaviness, ask "What else is possible?" Remember when you were a child and every day was an adventure? When your To Do list something like this: wake up, have fun, go to bed...maybe, or just fall asleep mid-play?
Does your life still have that energy? Or is your To Do list now more like: drag myself out of bed, do what I have to, work and drink too much, and fall into bed...with a social media few rants in between? Would you like to reclaim the energy of your child? Rather than resigning yourself to being weighed down by responsibilities and perceived limitations, what if you embraced life as an exciting adventure? If so, wake up every morning and acknowledge you're in charge of creating your day by asking “Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures can I have?” When you start each day like this, will you have the same old study, job, work, business, family, health or money problems and restrictions? Maybe. Or maybe you'll see new, exciting possibilities that you've never noticed before. Not having much fun? Is your movement restricted, or you have no job, no social life, and are sinking into the conclusion that you have no future? Is your world full of people telling you to follow the rules and the world as we know it is at an end?
Are you feeling a little heavy? What if you could contribute to an amazing new future for everyone - including you! - have fun at the same time? Like to find out? If so, ask “What fun could I add to my life?” It could be anything, large or small. Like learning/creating something randomly new online, going on an adventure into the deep dark depths of your closet and creating space for yourself (great workout too BTW), asking your insignificant other to make you breakfast-in-bed and supervise the kids homeschooling while you sleep in, creating a 'holiday' anywhere different in your available space, or challenging yourself to make up a joke every day over coffee. What if you did anything that made you smile and feel light? If you already have a little of it, add more. The point is: take action, create your life every day, and smile. There's no need to stick with one thing forever. If your fun drops off, ask the question again and make another choice. You'll be amazed at what you can create when you ask. "Fun: am I willing to have more? How often do you focus on the problems, the bad, and downright ugly things in life?
Even if your intention is to fix these things, your attention will still be on what you have decided is a problem, bad, or ugly. What if, instead, you focused on the wonderful, beautiful, phenomenal things in the world, and asked what it would take for more of those to show up? In other words, rather than limiting yourself to fixing the not-so-great things, what if you invited in more of the good stuff? If you'd like to retrain yourself to see the wonder of life, every morning when you wake up ask “What beauty can I see today?” And then keep an eye out and when you see it, say “How did I get so lucky?” What is the point of life? Do you know? Does anyone?
Is it the same for everyone? Have you bought a point of view from someone that doesn't quite seem to fit you? What if you created your own point of life? Would that work better? What would you choose? Would you choose things that were hard and to be suffered? Or would you choose things that were a delight for you to do? And who decided you had to choose the no-fun, problem-filled, version of life that many people seem to create, anyway? Would you like to choose differently? If so, ask “What if the point of life was to have fun?” and then "What action can I take to create that?" Whenever you've had more time than usual away from friends, family, work, travel or other stimulating positive environments, do you find it easy to spiral downward? Do you start focusing on what's wrong with your life, what's wrong with you?
Do you get really down on yourself, feeling that you're not quite right somehow? Maybe you start to feel that you're less than you should be or that you're not what someone else expects you to be? Perhaps time on your own has changed the way you think, and now you don't seem to fit in with everyone around you? Have people started calling you crazy, or worse, and you think that you're wrong for not fitting in? What if there was nothing wrong with you? If you'd like to find out, rather than judging yourself as wrong, ask “What's right about me that I'm not getting?” What if you were not nearly as messed up as you thought you were? What if you were just different? And what if, by acknowledging this, you show up as the difference that the world needs? This is free and doesn't hurt, so give it a go, ask the question. Listen to what people talk about. What percentage is a complaint or a problem? Trauma and drama? Ninety-nine percent? Or more?
Did you know that you get more of what you focus your attention on? So if you'd like fewer problems and more joy in life, inject a little gratitude into your conversation. Crinkle someone's universe by saying something like “I am so grateful for the lockdown; it made me look at my life in a totally different way” or “I am really grateful that their lying is so obvious; now I know to look into everything they say and do and so I won't get caught out” or “How did I get so lucky seeing beautiful blue skies? Not being able to travel means I can spend more time connecting with my local community.” What if you found one thing to be grateful for every day and told someone? Perhaps you'll surprise people and they'll stop complaining mid-stream? You may even infect them with gratitude and spread it to others? Or you may just have giggle on your own because you're grateful you have toilet paper. So ask, “What am I grateful for today?” Do you get cranky pants with people? Are you frustrated when people make choices, which from your standpoint seem harmful?
Anger can indicate all sorts of things. Rising anger may indicate someone is lying to you. Explosive anger can show you where you've been suppressing yourself. While heated anger can be a sign that you are in judgement, rather than interesting point of view. When you sense any heated irritation, ask yourself "Has my awareness outstripped my allowance?" If so, repeat "Interesting point of view I have that point of view" until your allowance expands infinitely, creating space for infinite awareness. Remember, choice creates awareness. So what's right about people's 'harmful' choices that you're not getting yet? How are you with money? Comfortable? Too much but never enough? Can you roll around on your bed in it and play? Or not?
If not, and you'd like to change that, ask yourself "What if I honoured myself with 10 per cent?" Then, whenever money comes into your life, before you do anything else with it — even before you pay your bills — put aside 10 per cent of it for you and don't spend it. Put it aside in cash, silver, gold or whatever else will keep or increase its value. The key is to never spend it; keep it and watch it grow. As long as there is compound interest, it will grow. (Compound interest? Look it up.) When you don't spend all your money, you realise you have it. And when you know you have money, how do you feel? Is it easier to smile? And if you have any reasons, excuses, decisions, conclusion or any point of view about doing this, ask some questions. You can start by using all the questions that come up here when you search 'money' on this site. Got something you'd like to say? How many times have you tried to say it? Once? Twice? A thousand? More?
Are you being heard? Do people hang on your every word, wanting to know more? Or do they close their ears, and walk or even run away? How do you present your ideas? Are you well researched, earnestly setting out the facts? Or do you playfully, joyfully ask a few questions and then listen to the other person's point of view? Whatever you're doing, if it's working for you, keep doing it. If not, ask yourself "What could I say to make them laugh?" When you laugh, how do you feel? Do you remain defensive and aloof? Or do you relax and open up? Ultimately, you may or may not get your message across, but at least the interaction will be more enjoyable for both of you. You never know, they may come back later for some more of the good vibe. And one day, they may even hear what you're saying. Not happy? No matter what is getting you down, ask yourself "What am I taking for granted?"
What is so abundant, so easy in your life right now that you don't even think about it? It might be a physical thing, a skill, an attribute, access to something, it might even be as simple as your smile. Sure you probably have an infinite number of problems and difficulties that will no doubt get in your way and bring you down. So what are the infinite number of talents, abilities, attributes, ideas and all manner of other things that you equally have, that, if you acknowledged and were grateful for, would bring you up? This question is designed to remind you that you just have to ask, look, see and be grateful for the amazing things you've been gifted. What are you finding tough in your life right now? Perhaps you're not able to do all the things you used to do? Maybe your study or work situation has changed? Or have you experienced challenges or changes in your circles of friends?
Whatever that is for you, if you'd like relief from the toughness ask yourself "What am I enjoying about this?" For example, what new, interesting things have filled the space created by you not doing all the things you used to do? Have you been thrust into a different, more stimulating field of study or work? Maybe you've discovered a wonderful new bunch of people who see what you see? And perhaps the toughness has opened your eyes and mind to previously undreamt of possibilities and new realities? There has to be something you're enjoying about your situation, if you'll only ask the question and look. Otherwise, you are choosing it for what reason? Maybe you simply enjoy a challenge? How often do you discount the things you do?
Sure you can make an amazing coffee, but so what? Oh, yeah you can whip up a banquet for ten on whatever's left in the fridge, but who can't? Organising an event? Coming in under budget? Growing veggies? Entertaining kids? Finding a bargain in the charity shop and on-selling it for a profit? Juggling a few jobs? Connecting people? Feeding and raising a family with ease and joy? Listening to people? Whipping up a ballgown from the curtains? Making something work when everyone tells you it's broken. Getting what you want as if by magic when everyone tells you it can't be done? What else? What's the one thing that you do amazingly well without trying or thinking about it? Don't know? Then ask yourself "What's my superpower?" Whatever that thing is that you can do on your little finger without trying or thinking about it, are you willing to acknowledge it? Not everyone can do what you can, you know. So rather than discount you, will you step into your life and be even more of you? What gift would that be to the world? Do you consider yourself a shy person? While everyone else around you seems to desire being seen and heard, do you prefer to be quietly unnoticed?
Have you made being shy a wrongness? Has someone else told you it's wrong and that you should change? What if being shy wasn't what you thought it was? If you'd like to find out, ask "What if I wasn't shy?" Perhaps shyness is your ploy to get others to reach out to you? Rather than fending off the idiot moths who flock to the flame of celebrity, you're most content to wait quietly in the field for the right bee to find you. There's nothing wrong with being shy if you're aware of your choice. So if you sense your shyness might come from obeying someone, sometime long ago telling you to shut up and keep your head down, ask "If I were me, who would I be?" How many points of view do you have about what is good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Probably quite a few, if not all, give that is how we are currently entrained to operate.
Consider this: does the earth consider anything good/bad, right/wrong, significant/meaningless? Is nature in a constant state of anger, rage, fury and hate over 'important' issues? No. The earth is in total allowance of everything. It has no point of view about its inhabitants. Certainly volcanos erupt, earthquakes happen, animals eat other animals, and all these things occur without judgement or significance. If people did not exist, would the earth continue to be abundant and generative? Absolutely. So if you would prefer an abundant and generative life like earth, ask "Am I making this significant?" Then whenever you notice you're making something significant, laugh lightly and repeat "interesting point of view" to move you from the limited denseness of significance into the infinite freedom of allowance. How often do you hear someone say "good on you, you deserve that"? How often do you say it?
What does deserve mean to you? That you have to sacrifice or suffer to receive something? Some dictionary definitions are: to serve something zealously, to earn, to be worthy of, and to merit. Consider this: does anything in nature 'deserve' what it receives? Do the birds need to be worthy of something to eat, drink and live a free life? No. So why should you have to? If you'd prefer to live a joyous life, with ease and abundance, ask yourself "What if I didn't need to deserve?" What if instead of sacrifice and suffering, you choose to consciously create your life being the greatest contribution you can be? And who exactly is reinforcing the idea that you should 'serve' them 'zealously'? Do you ever feel tired, worried, drained, or simply at a loss as what to do?
If so, ask "What if I connected with nature?" Then go out in person and do it. Walk in the park. Hug a tree. Chat to the birds. Take your shoes and socks off and get your feet on the ground. The worse that will happen is you'll get dirt on your feet. The best is your whole life may change. And at the very least, your body will thank you for the fresh air, sunlight and blood pumping around your body making you stronger and your mind clearer. Have you ever considered the perfect, balanced, strong, simplicity of nature abundant with naturally replenishing resources? Ever noticed that every part of nature — with the exception of modern-day humans — can have everything it needs for an abundant life without needing to 'deserve' or pay for it? What if you could have that too? What would that take? It all starts simply by connecting with nature and asking the question. Are you a serious person, deeply concerned about family, community, and world affairs? Are you always focused, earnest, and diligent?
How much do you laugh with sheer delight and joy? Not much? Perhaps you decided somewhere consciously or unconsciously that to laugh is to be frivolous? If so, and you'd like another possibility as yourself "What could my laughter contribute?" What if instead of going about your life carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, you laughed your way through with a lightness of being as you create your lived adventure? What could the vibration of your laughter heal? For example, next time you find yourself in a heated 'debate' (fight), instead of getting all cranky pants and righteous, what if you burst out giggling with real joy and said "You know what, you're probably right. Goodness I make myself laugh sometimes!" Then smile and walk away. What crinkles in the universe could your laughter make for new possibilities to squeeze through? |
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