What applies to you today? Pick any and all of these.
It's my birthday; I had the most amazing cup of coffee; the sky is clear, blue and has fluffy clouds; I'm feeling fit and healthy; I hung out with fun, fabulous people (even if it was online); someone helped me out; I got what I wanted done at work/home; I got my study assignment done on time; I had a delicious sleep; I had a mani/ pedi/ backrub; my favourite shop was having a sale; I helped someone and they smiled; I saw a rerun of my favourite show; my team scored surprising points; I (almost, really!!) got a hole-in-one; the steak was cooked just right; I had a house full of screaming kids; I didn't have a house full of screaming kids; I laughed till I cried; I cried till I laughed; I felt alive; I felt free.
None of these apply to you? Then ask "What can I celebrate today?" and think of ONE thing that you saw/ did/ experienced/ created today and CELEBRATE your life.
Got problems? Do you like them? Does it give you something to chat about with your friends, a puzzle to solve?
What if you didn't have problems?
What could you enjoy using the time and energy you now pour into problem solving?
If you'd like to find out, ask “What have I decided is a problem, which if I looked at it differently is something to be thankful for?”
For example, rather than being upset that you have to work from home, be grateful you're getting paid to work in your PJs. Rather than be frustrated about home schooling your kids, be grateful you can create a special time together before they grow up and never want to see you again. Rather than be angered that authorities are limiting your choices, be grateful for the chance to find out what really matters to you. Rather than wallowing in victimhood, be grateful that you still have choices and can create the world you'd really like if you choose.
So next time you find yourself complaining about something weighing you down, rather than trying to fix the problem (make it a better problem?), what if you looked at it differently and transformed it into something else?
How? Next question: "What action can I take?"
Some people love to fight. Do you?
Some will fight to the death to prove the rightness of their point of view. Some just like to fight for the fun of it. In either case, will anything you say or do change their mind and stop the fight?
Do you ever see the insanity of an argument and try to stop it or change it with well considered and logical arguments? Does it ever work? Or do you get more frustrated, tangled and drawn into the fight?
If you don't enjoy arguing and would like to move beyond the fight to new possibilities, ask yourself "Is this fight a distraction?" then smile and say “You're right, I'm wrong” three times.
You're not agreeing the other person is right. You're acknowledging their right to their point of view, and you are being in allowance of them not seeing yours.
The words are easy. The energy behind the words might take practice. Saying these words sarcastically or angrily will not work. Your energy must be of complete allowance.
Will they work? Next time someone wants a fight, use them and see. And remember, you can always be grateful for their anger and choose something else.
Has someone been angry with you recently? Call you names for something you said or did?
How did you react? Did you start thinking you were stupid or wrong? Or perhaps you responded with your own anger?
Did any of that work out for you? If not, ask "What about this anger am I grateful for?"
There is always something. For example, what was their anger was trying to do? Control you? Distract you from something? Shut you down? Or maybe it was a mechanism for distracting them from something going on in their world and really had nothing to do with you?
Once you become aware of someone's anger, you can choose to keep it in your life or not. If you would like them in your life you can say "This anger doesn't work for me. Does it work for you? Would you like to change it?"
If they say yes, great, there is an invitation for change. If no, then at least you know and you get to choose for you. If you prefer not to have them in your life, genuinely thank them for their interesting point of view, smile and walk away/hang up/delete/remove them from your contact list.
This question will help you step out of the autopilot of reacting to anger, which will only serve to distract you from creating the life you'd really like.
How often do you focus on the problems, the bad and downright ugly things in life?
Even if your intention is to fix these things, your attention will still be on what you have decided is a problem, bad or ugly.
What if, instead, you focused on the wonderful, beautiful, phenomenal things in the world and asked what it would take for more of those to show up? In other words, rather than limiting yourself to fixing the not-so-great things, what if you invited in more of the good stuff?
If you'd like to retrain yourself to see the wonder of life, every morning when you wake up ask “What beauty can I see today?”
And then keep an eye out and when you see it, say “How did I get so lucky?”
On a scale of 1-10, how grateful are you for people and things in your life? Are you finding it a challenge right now? Do you feel less than zero in the luck department with nothing to be thankful for?
What if you found one thing to be grateful for every day, and told someone, even if it's just yourself ?
When someone thanks you, how do you feel? Good? Does it make you want to hang around longer, catchup again sooner, work harder, smile more, and go the extra mile?
This is the energetic vibration of thanks. It's warm, fertile and prosperous, and it's infectious (in a good way!) and can replicate.
So everyday, when you find that one (or more - go crazy) good thing in your life, acknowledge it with a smile and ask “How did I get so lucky?” It's a great way to say you're thankful and to invite more of the good stuff to come your way.
In these times when the world seems to be going to hell in a handbag, wouldn't it be amazing if we all caught the Gratitude20 virus instead?
Is there a lot going on around you? Are friends, media, governments telling "this is true!" or "that is a lie"? Are you confused about who to trust and what to do?
Start by asking a question - any question (choose from ours if that helps) - then pay attention to what shows up and how you feel.
Do you feel light? You know the breezy sense of space and weightlessness you have when everything is just right.
Do you feel heavy? You know that clunky feeling when something is not quite right and you sense a lie.
In other words, if you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not right for you.
In these unsettled times, what if you pay attention to your senses and follow the lightness, even though it may not make logical sense at the time?
This is not about making anyone right or wrong. This is about honouring and nurturing you.
Be aware that just because something is light for you, it may not be light for the person standing next to you. There are many interesting points of view.
Listen to what people talk about. Especially these days. What percentage is a complaint or a problem? Trauma and drama? Ninety-nine percent? Or more?
Did you know that you get more of what you focus your attention on?
So if you'd like fewer problems and more joy in life, inject a little gratitude into your conversation.
Crinkle someone's universe by saying something like “Wow I'm so grateful for being in lockdown! It's made me look at my life in a totally different way!” or “I am really grateful for him lying to me straight away, because now I know that's what he might do and I won't get caught out!” or “How did we get so lucky we can see blue skies outside today – how much fun can we have in our tiny apartment?”
What if you found one thing to be grateful for every day and told someone?
Perhaps you'll surprise people and they'll stop complaining mid-stream? You may even infect them with gratitude and spread it to others?
Or you may just have giggle on your own because you're grateful you have toilet paper. So ask, “What am I grateful for today?”
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