To change something, first get clear on exactly what you 'd like to change by asking “What is this?”
Next ask “Would I like to change it?” To change something, you must truly desire it and be willing to do whatever it takes. Then you can ask “If so, how?” Can you change anyone else? No. The only thing you can change is you and your points of view. For example, when friends, family or perfect strangers reprimand you for being a conspiracy theory/government-trusting idiot and that you're WRONG WRONG WRONG to believe the conspiracies/government. Not much fun for you, is it? So what else is possible? Stop talking to them (no reprimands if there's no contact). Put your own points of view away, push all your barriers down, smile and ask them genuine questions about their points of view (you never know, if you ask the right questions with genuine interest they might learn something new...and so might you). Or notice your buttons and smile when people push them. Consider your friends, family and even perfect strangers are cute for trying to save you from your idiotic belief in conspiracies/governments, saying “Thanks so much. Tell me more." Then shut up, listen, nod and listen some more till they run out of steam. Just because you listen to their stories, doesn't mean you have to buy them.
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Have you been doing a lot of reading and research lately, trying to make sense of what's going on in the world? Are you seeking the truth about options for you and your family's/community's best health now and into the future?
Do you get excited when you uncover a new piece of information, only to find that your sense of lightness and possibility growing heavy? Have you experienced this light-heavy-light-heavy cycle continuously? Have you gone down a rabbit hole or two hundred? Remember that what's true for you always makes you lighter and a lie for you always makes you heavy. So what is it when you sense the heaviness of a lie, but it keeps playing on round and round in your head, keeping your attention? Next time this happens when you read an article, watch a video, or have a conversation with someone, ask yourself "Is this a truth with a lie attached?" If you feel a lightness, then ask "What part of this is true?" (it will feel lighter) and "What part of this is a lie, spoken or unspoken?" (it will feel heavy). These questions can help you pick your way through the myriad stories on sale without being compressed into a solid block of granite. How light would you be if you could pull apart all the stories with ease and find what's light for you, rather than feeling like you have to buy the whole bundle and then tie yourself up with reasons and justifications for doing so? Better still, what if next time you find yourself like a stone down a rabbit hole you simply choose lightness? Turn off the trauma and drama, go play with the kids/pets/partner, have a sleep, do some gardening, watch a funny movie, ANYTHING that is light for you. How much of everything we hear is part true and part a lie? What could you create as your life if you considered it all "an interesting point of view"? *** Much gratitude again to Dr Dain Heer for this one. How often do you limit your choices – before you even consider them – by concluding that other people won't approve? “My husband/wife/partner wouldn't agree”, “My parents wouldn't like it” or even “No one else does that, so what would everyone think of me?”
Worrying about what other people think is one of the main reasons you will give for not doing something. What if you took other people out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? Ask “If other people's points of view weren't real – if everything were just an interesting point of view – what would I choose?” How many of the world's science, social, cultural and business innovation, and even new lands (you know, the world is no longer flat), came from people doing what they loved and knowing what was right for THEM, no matter what other people thought was real, true, or possible. What could be possible for you if you listened more to you? Are you smart? Are you aware of everything going on around you in all time, space and dimensions, seeing connections, pasts and futures that no one else is aware of?
And yet do you find that other people always seem to be talking down to you, explaining and pontificating on things to you, as if you had no idea? How do you react? Do you nod, smile and think "interesting"? Or do you get annoyed, worked up, and drawn into a meaningless circular argument? Do people ever concede you known what you're talking about? If not and you'd like greater ease in these situations ask "What if I didn't need to prove I was smart"? Does trying to prove you're smart mean that you've actually decided you're not? Is that true? Or did you buy that point of view from someone, sometime? When you try to prove you’re smart, you have to have all the answers. What if your smarts - your awareness - was the thing that could point out where the answers end and the questions begin? What else could be possible then? Ever heard a story or two million recently? Are they True? Are they Fake?
How much of story telling is someone trying to get you to do what they want? Or at least confuse you about what is really going on? What if none of it were real or true? What if all stories were simply interesting points of view? If you'd like to be free to create your own life as you'd like, ask "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell or buy the story?" Then check in with what feels light to you and choose that. Repeat. I mean it. Every time you hear a story. ask "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell or buy the story?" And check in with what feels light to you and choose that. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat X infinity. Sure you can enjoy a story for the heck of it. At the end, say “Wow, that was a terrific story! Thank you [for the entertainment]! What an interesting point of view!" And then ask yourself "What would I choose if I didn't listen to, tell or buy the story?" Check in with what feels light to you and choose that. You get the picture. Do you ever feel heat in your chest or pressure on your temples when someone says or does something you don't like? Do you find you can't think clearly, that you get angry or distracted from what you'd really like to do?
If you'd like to be free from the control and distraction of such uncomfortable physical sensations, recognise them as a sign you are in judgement. Then you can shift gear into allowance. What is allowance? Allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view and you have total freedom of choice. Judgement limits you to what you have decided (or someone has told you) is right/wrong, good/bad. It's like being on an automatic pushbutton system of resist/react or agree/align, where you have no freedom of choice. So next time you have a physical reaction to someone, ask “Am I in allowance or judgement?” If you find you're in judgement, say “Interesting point of view I have that point of view” and expand outwards and remind yourself “What if I had infinite, free choice?” (Depending on what's going on, you might need to repeat this several godzillian times until the heat dissipates.) What if being free from judgement allowed you to create the change you'd really like to see? Is there a lot going on around you? Are friends, media, governments telling "this is true!" or "that is a lie"? Are you confused about who to trust and what to do?
Start by asking a question - any question (choose from ours if that helps) - then pay attention to what shows up and how you feel. Do you feel light? You know the breezy sense of space and weightlessness you have when everything is just right. Do you feel heavy? You know that clunky feeling when something is not quite right and you sense a lie. In other words, if you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not right for you. In these unsettled times, what if you pay attention to your senses and follow the lightness, even though it may not make logical sense at the time? This is not about making anyone right or wrong. This is about honouring and nurturing you. Be aware that just because something is light for you, it may not be light for the person standing next to you. There are many interesting points of view. How often do you get stuck in a no-win fight? Do you enjoy it when other people won't listen to your opinion and only want you to see theirs?
How much stress, anxiety and worry do you suffer from trying to prove who's right and who's wrong about something? Does this help your work or business? Do fights create, or use your time and money? What does stress, anxiety and worry do to your body and health? Would you prefer to create greater ease in life for you and your body? Then practice these magic words “interesting point of view” every time you find yourself having a difference of opinion with someone. You're not saying anyone is right or wrong. You're acknowledging everyone has a right to their own (perhaps insane) point of view, including you. Say it lightly, smile and move on, for example “Yes, I see, thank you. That's a really interesting point of view. I wonder what would be the most rewarding outcome for our business/relationship/health/life right now? What else could we look at?” This invites in new ideas and information that you might both find interesting. Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or powerless against everything going on? Frozen in fear, stuck in panic, or just don't know what to do?
Then ask “What action can I take?” Action is you creating your life, rather than suffering it as a reaction to everything around you. Practice this. No matter what you see or hear, notice what you do and ask yourself “Am I doing this from action, or reaction? Hoarding toilet paper – action or reaction? Reorganising to work or study from home – action or reaction? Posting on social media – action or reaction? There are no correct answers here, only your awareness of what YOU are doing. Then ask “If I'm doing reaction, what action could I take?” Any action will do, no matter how small, as it will shift you out of reaction and into creation. Acknowledge the trauma and drama around you, and be aware of your choices. Will you react “aaaarghh the world is ending!” Or will you take action to create your life, rather than suffering it in reaction? It's just a choice. *** I am delighted to be back after so long attending to BUSYness. Thank you so much for joining me again to create fun questions to keep us all awake at the wheel of life. This first question after seven years is my own first, small action (much gratitude to Dr Dain Heer for this one). What will yours be? *** |
First visit?If you're brand new, then you might also like to start from Q1 here and work your through to now? Or search for the topic of your choice above. What would you like to ask about? A relationship? Money? Work? Body? Health? Or life in general? Enter your keyword below and see what shows up!
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