What about this anger am I grateful for?

Has someone been angry with you recently? Call you names for something you said or did?

How did you react? Did you start thinking you were stupid or wrong? Or perhaps you responded with your own anger?

Did any of that work out for you? If not, ask "What about this anger am I grateful for?" 

There is always something. For example, what was their anger was trying to do? Control you? Distract you from something? Shut you down? Or maybe it was a mechanism for distracting them from something going on in their world and really had nothing to do with you? 

Once you become aware of someone's anger, you can choose to keep it in your life or not. If you would like them in your life you can say "This anger doesn't work for me. Does it work for you? Would you like to change it?" 

If they say yes, great, there is an invitation for change. If no, then at least you know and you get to choose for you. If you prefer not to have them in your life, genuinely thank them for their interesting point of view, smile and walk away/hang up/delete/remove them from your contact list. ​

This question will help you step out of the autopilot of reacting to anger, which will only serve to distract you from creating the life you'd really like. ​