How many people do you meet who have such fixed points of view that they are never able to see beyond what they have decided is true, even when it smacks them in the face?
If you'd like someone to see beyond their self-imposed limitations, ask yourself "What wedgie could I ask?" A wedgie is a question that creates discomfort in someone's universe and is designed to get the other person to ask a question. For example, when you notice someone has fixed points of view about something, instead of being triggered, trying to prove, or defending your own points of view by giving them too much information, make them uncomfortable by asking a wedgie. For example, in total allowance say "Interesting. What if everything was the opposite of what it appears to be?" or "What if there was something about that situation that is a lie?" Then stop talking. Sometimes you'll even need to let them sit with your question for weeks, until the discomfort becomes unbearable and they have to return and ask a question. Questions create possibilities and now you have a tiny space to invite them to see different realities. Be gentle. Listen to them in total allowance and ask them lots more questions.
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October 2021
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