When you see someone crying or in distress, what do you do? Do you reach out and try to comfort them? Or you give them a tissue and allow them to cry?
When you reach out to comfort them, how does it work out? Do they try to stop because crying is not the 'polite' thing to do? Do you get caught up in their world of trauma and drama? Do you feel bad for not being able to help them no matter what you do? Are they able to clear what's going on with them?
How much freedom and possibility do you sense in these responses? If you'd like to create space for people to move through their tears, ask "Am I willing to let them cry?"
Crying is not wrong. Have you ever noticed that when you've locked tension into your body to avoid something, your body will sometimes release this tension through tears?
Being in total allowance of someone as they cry, as they break apart so they can fall together, is one of the greatest gifts of caring you can be. You're not 'taking care' of them, you are caring about them enough to allow them to go through whatever they have to go through, and come out the other side.
Are you willing to allow people to ask for assistance when they require it, not when you've decided you need to make them feel better?
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