How are you feeling today? Light and breezy? Or heavy and clunky?
What bodily sensation do you prefer? Which bodily state allows you to create everything you'd like? Does one bog you down, or speed you up? When you are light, remember that whatever is going on in your life is right for you. The exact same situation might not be right for someone else, and they may feel clunky. So if feeling light gives you ease and enables you to create your life greater than you could imagine, ask "Am I light?" whenever you're choosing something or taking action. If you sense a heaviness, then simply ask a question about what else you could be choosing.
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Do you find yourself allowing other people to walk all over you? You're in allowance of all their points of view and judgements, smiling, listening, asking questions.
Perhaps you're hoping that one day they might listen back to you, ask you a question or two, and see your point of view? The 'oneness' of our infinite free will universe includes everything and judges nothing. This includes meanness, gaslighting, belittling, and a vast array of behaviours you may not find enjoyable, but others do. Oneness also includes infinite choice, including your ability to choose what you enjoy. So next time you're not enjoying being walked over by meanness, gaslighting, belittling or any other unpleasant behaviour, ask yourself "Am I being a doormat?" If you sense you are, then remember you can simply smile, walk away, and choose something else. Have you lived most of your life feeling 'wrong'?
No matter what you do, think, or say, do you judge and censure yourself constantly, trying to figure out whether it's right or wrong? Are you stuck in a loop of defending against and fighting for things, constructing barriers with others to prove something is right or wrong? Do you tie yourself up in knots making yourself wrong for everything? If you'd like to step out of this loop, start here. First remind yourself that right and wrong are "interesting points of view" and ask yourself "who do these points of view come from?" about any views you seem stuck on. When others come to you seeking a fight, say "Yes, you are right..." and when you notice your barriers coming up, ask yourself "What if being wrong was right?" What change could you create by acknowledging the diversity of points of view? What if there were freedom in being wrong? Do you live an exuberant life? How many things are you afraid of losing? Are you worried that people won't approve?
What if the only thing you had to lose was your limitation? What could you create then? If you'd like to find out, ask "What if I lived like I had nothing to lose?" When you ask this and you choose for you, you may find family members, friends, jobs, habits, routines, or any number of things might disappear from your life. Rather than considering a loss, consider what you've gained. Space, time, energy and you. So now with your gained, space, time, energy and the real you, what will you create? What will you gain? Then again, you may not lose anything. People and things may adore the your newfound exuberance and multiple. What's going on that you need to 'make' your day? What if you just 'made it' starting now?
What if you had already 'made it' and you could make some even MORE great stuff? Would you be willing to make more? So ask, "What if I made my day? What would be the most fun for me to start making now?" then see what shows up and make that. Then make some more of that. Repeat. Do you live life to the fullest? Adding more and more and more and MORE, just because it's fun and you can?
Does taking so much on sometimes stress you, but can't stop because you feel you''d let everybody down? Have you decided that you have to keep going, no matter what? If so, and you'd like to create a little more ease for yourself, ask "What if taking a break was OK?" What if by taking a break, you created the space you required for something even greater to show up, for everyone? Do you ever find yourself surrounded by meanness or superiority? Maybe you only have one such person in your life, who is constantly tearing you down.
Do you find it easy to stand up for yourself? How willing are you to speak out about what's true for you? Are you always being nice? If you'd like to change the meanness in your world, or find greater ease in speaking out about what you believe in, ask "What's the value of being nice?" When did you buy the idea that 'being nice' was desirable above all else, even if it meant suppressing you? What if silence was simply a choice you made when you weren't willing to stand up with courage for what you knew to be true for you? What if you made another choice? Where have you been unwilling to speak up for what you know, for who you are, and for what is valuable to you? Where do you allow a few or even one voice to dominate you? Are you willing to see that your voice has value, credence and potency to create change beyond anything you've ever imagined possible? Has someone ever called you crazy or suggested that you might be from another planet? How did you respond? Did you smile and think "ah ha...you have no idea...." Or did you automatically go into the wrongness of you, work extra hard to try and fit in, and lock down your 'craziness'?
Do some people define you as crazy for trying to go beyond the bounds of their reality, while others define you as crazy for trying to fit in? Are you trapped in resistance and reaction to what people think? What could be possible if you rethought your definitions and stopped assuming that normality was always good, and abnormality was always bad? History repeatedly shows us that people with abnormal minds can solve abnormal problems. What if your 'craziness' was the gift the world required? Would you call that 'good'? So next time someone's hinting you're a little bit nuts, ask yourself, "What if I was crazy good?" Have you been shopping recently? Was it fun? Or did you get upset because you lost something, like a credit card, wallet or phone? Were you overcharged? Did you miss out on a car park or a bargain? Did your children have a meltdown? Did you leave feeling stressed and penniless?
If your experience was less than joyful, and you'd like to change your shopping (or any other) experience, ask "Is this mine, or someone else's?" Thoughts, feelings and emotions are transmitted invisibly and soundlessly like WiFi through everyone nearby. So if you're in the middle of a shopping centre filled with overworked, underpaid, stressed, unhappy people on a budget trying to buy a 'festive season,' be aware that you may pick up all their thoughts, feelings and emotions — even if financially you're comfortable and enjoy your work — and walk out feeling unhappy and overspent. Even if something does 'go wrong' and you lose something, ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" and "How does it get any better than this?" smile and keep moving. When you meet people for the first time, what do you tell them about you? Do you have a set patter about who you are, what you do, what your title or business is, what the main challenges of your life are, and who else is in your life?
Do you enjoy these conversations? Are they spontaneous and fun? Or are they boring and predictable? Do you find people really listen to them? Or do most people simply wait for a pause in your story to launch their own? How well do you listen to theirs? How much of telling and retelling your story cements it into place? With each retelling, does it become easier for you to create the changes you'd like, or harder? If you'd like something different, ask "What if my life had no story?" What if you woke up every morning like Drew Barrymore in the movie 50 First Dates, with a totally fresh start? Like to play? Then for the next month, whenever you meet someone new, begin by asking them questions until they ask about you. Only then tell something you have never said before, even it it's not yet true. Go on, create your story. How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family, in-laws, or co-workers who are on a different wavelength to you? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're 'not good enough'? Do some of them think it's 'fun' to laugh at your views on life? Or perhaps they're just plain mean ELFs who know you're an easy mark?
If you dread family, workplace or other gatherings with people who are not in your zone, try these games and create a difference.
Enjoy the Silly Season. Are you distracted by competition? Focused on how to out-smart, out-do, out-strip someone else in your field?
Perhaps someone is selling an idea they stole from you as theirs and you're trying to figure out how to beat them? Or do you consider that someone else will always be greater than you and at least you should strive to be more like them? How expansive does competition with someone else feel? When you enter into competition with someone, even if they are the 'leader' in your field, does this create the space for you to be as great as you are? Or does it keep you locked into the limitations of whatever they're willing to, or telling you their willing to create? Can you truly compete with anyone else? No. How can an apple complete with a nightingale? So if you'd like to step into your life and out of the limited band of competition with others, ask "How can I out-create me, beyond what exists and anything anyone has considered before?" Are you willing to expand and create your life beyond what others can imagine? It might be a whole lot more fun too. Do you spend a lot of time feeling wrong? Do friends, family, and even passing strangers seem compelled to tell you that you haven't got it quite (or a lot) right, and if you just did it their way, your life would be a whole lot better?
Do you agree with, or fight against them? Is that fun and does it make you smile? If not, and you'd prefer more joy, ask "Am I willing to step into my life?" What if you weren't trapped in the narrow band of other people's possibilities? What's the narrow band? Where you either agree and align and do what they tell you, or resist and react and do the opposite. When you expand beyond this band of polarity, and create your life from what you know works for you, you have infinite possibilities. When people tell you you're wrong, smile and say "You're right. Thank you so much! You really have helped me to step into my life." Then change the subject or walk away, 'returning to sender' any lingering feeling of wrongness, and do what you know works for you. How often do you get into upsets with friends, or are hurt by the things they say or do? Rarely, a lot, or all the time?
What is a friend? Someone who enjoys you in total allowance? Someone who acknowledges you just as you are and all the crazy choices you might make, without judgement? Someone who is fun to hang out with and adds to your life, and is grateful to you for adding to theirs. Do you have anyone in your life like that right now? Next time you experience upset, hurt, anger, or have some other uncomfortable sensation in relation to a 'friend', ask yourself "Is this person really my friend?" What's light is right for you, remember. If you notice your current friends spend most of their time telling you how you're wrong and should change because they 'care about you,' ask them "Would you like to be my friend? Then you need to stop judging me. If not, that's ok. I'll miss you and hope you have a great life." Then smile and walk away knowing you've just created a great space for new friends to walk into. And if you do find yourself without friends, start with one: you. Are you willing to be your best friend? What if your energy of space and allowance was the invitation for others like that to find you and ask to play? Do you know what makes you happy? How many conclusions do you have about what brings you happiness? One or two? A few hundred?
What are they? For example, are you working toward something? An exam or job interview you'd like to pass? A girl or boy you'd like to date, marry or have kids with? A computer, TV, car, or house you'd like to buy? A project or cause you're fighting for? Or some sort of mental, emotional, or physical relief you're seeking? Do you consider that when you achieve that target you'll be happy? Not sure? If you'd like clarity, ask "Does this really create happiness for me?" Then notice how you feel. Light or heavy? What is true for you feels light. So if you sense heaviness, you may have bought the idea from someone else (your family?) their idea of happiness, which might not suit you. There's nothing wrong with seeking more in life and being joyful with the results. What if you could be joyful every day of the process too? What might your results look like then? Are you surrounded by people telling you what is true, what is fake, and what you should stake your life on?
Do you have family, friends, experts and random strangers standing on 360 degrees of any particular issue, presenting you with a dizzying array of information and persuasive propositions? Does any of that help? Or do you feel more confused and hemmed into a reality that doesn't feel quite right? If you'd like to create space and ease when you're being bombarded by so many points of view, ask yourself about each one as it is presented to you "Is this light for me?" You know the breezy sense of space and weightlessness you have when everything is just right, and not the heavy, clunky feeling when something is not quite right and you sense a lie. In other words, if you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not right for you. What if none of these people were wrong? What if each of their points of view were 100% correct...for them? Just because something is right for someone else, doesn't mean it's right for you. Have you ever lamented "I don't belong!" or spent your life trying to fit in with others around you? Has it been easy?
Perhaps you've always know you were different and found it simpler, and more fun, to hang out by yourself, doing your own thing? Did you nevertheless feel a nagging pressure to belong, or believe that you were somehow wrong for not fitting in? What if there was nothing wrong with not belonging? Did you know the definition of belong includes: to be the property of, to be part of, and to be suitable for something? Is that what you're looking for? If you'd like clarity about this, ask "What's the value of wanting to belong?" Perhaps your inability or non-desire to 'belong' was simply your awareness that you were already, wholly, and suitably the property of something: YOU. So what if rather than 'longing to be' something else, you embraced being all of who you are already? Do you have something in your life that you'd like to change, but haven't yet because you fear you might lose family, friends, work, money, status, reputation or everything you've 'worked so hard to achieve'?
Does this fear keep you frozen and trapped by inaction? Would you like to thaw, expand outward and move into action? If so, ask "What if the only thing I had to lose was my limitation?" What if by making the changes you know you'd really like, you created more than you could ever imagine? What if this also contributed to everyone and everything around you? Certainly, some friends, family, professional and other acquaintances will not accept the changes you make and withdraw from your life. Would that be a loss, or a contribution? What's the difference? Only your point of view. Have you ever tried to change something in your life continually, but to no effect even though you've asked a thousand genuine questions?
For example, has someone ever told you that you weren't good enough and you should try even harder? Or that something about you was not appropriate and you had to overcome it? Perhaps you're too vocal, disruptive, creative, poor, uneducated, powerless, unattractive, or have some other failing? What if in fact, there was nothing wrong with you? What if you have been buying into a lie that someone else wanted to you to believe? Is it possible to overcome, change or clear something that doesn't exist? What would you do if someone told you you were a rabbit? Would you believe them and work feverishly to change out of being a rabbit? Or would you say "Um, huh?" I'm not a rabbit. I'm me!" and get on with enjoying your life? So if you'd like to create greater ease around things you have assumed were 'wrong' about you, and that you should change but so far haven't been able to, ask "What am I trying to clear that isn't true?" If something's not true to start with, how can you clear it? Simply recognise the lie and it can no longer exist. What do you have to do today, that you'd really rather not?
Clean the house? Do the shopping? Visit an unpleasant relative? Wash the car? Attend the weekly staff meeting? Write an essay? Sit an exam? Speak in public? Go to the dentist? Give your family news that you know they'll hate? What makes you go '"Ugh, I'd rather not'" but you know you're going to do it anyway? If you'd like to create more ease for yourself, ask "How can I enjoy the heck out of it?" Your point of view creates your reality, so if your point of view is "I don't enjoy this" then your are correct. You don't and you won't. There is no possibility it could turn out to be fun after all. If your point of view is "What would it take for this to turn out to be more fun than I could ever imagine?" you create an invitation for that to occur. To start, carry with you one thing that makes you laugh. A joke. A game. A book. An app. A photo. A wiggle in your walk. What else? Whatever that is, put it in your metaphorical back pocket and pull it out to entertain yourself when things are getting tough. After a while you might fing you won't need it. Happiness is just a choice. What do you choose? Are you a worrier? What do you worry about? Failing exams, business, relationships, children, money, saving the world? Something else?
When you're worrying do you spend most of the time focused on what you're creating, or are you trying to figure out what other people want from you, and how to deliver it? What's the value of worry? Does it contribute to anything? Or does it keep you trapped in reaction and distract you from taking action? Is it an excuse for no-action? How relevant is it to what you're looking to create? If you'd like to be free to take action and create the life you'd prefer, ask "What if worry wasn't relevant?" How much of your worry stems from trying to fit in, or to meet other people's expectations? Do you think it's caring? How aware of, or interested in you are other people? A lot, a little or not at all? Would you like to have more fun? Then stop worrying about what other people want from you and start creating your life for you. If your life was an adventure of constant creation, would worry exist? Have you grown up thinking you needed to make a decision and stick to it? That you had to figure out the right way to live and abide by that?
Do you get confused by apparently differing advice? For example, to pay for things you love with a generosity of spirit on one hand, while asking how you can use people and things to your advantage on the other? Is life always the same? Are people consistent? How often have you been disappointed when people and situations didn't meet your expectations? If you'd like to create your life, rather than react to its inconsistencies, ask "What if I didn't need to be consistent?" What if instead of trying to figure out a fool-proof method of living your life on autopilot, you stayed fully alert to all the possibilities in each moment of your life, and chose the approach that best suited you in that moment? You will probably appear inconsistent to everyone else. Does that matter? Only if you want a life like everyone else's. How often do you defend yourself? A lot or a little?
When you stick up for something you're being, doing, having, or that you believe in, do you use emotional enthusiasm, exclaiming "oh this is GREAT and I got SO much out of it and if ONLY you try it I'm SURE you'll get something out of it too?!!!? " Or perhaps you use intellectual prowess, trying to suffocate your opponents in piles of...smarts? Whatever approach, how does it work? Do you enjoy it and does it create the result you desire? Or do people judge you a weird, whacky and wrong, and run away no matter what you say? Would you like more people to see what you see? If so, ask "What if I didn't need to defend anything?" Then, when you feel the urge to defend, simply smile and say "Yes, you're right." What if by removing the defensive barrier people are used to pushing up agains, you created the space for them to question? In that space, what might they see? Have you ever been overwhelmingly excited about something or someone? How did your body respond? Did your heart and mind race? Did you lie awake all night dreaming of all the future possibilities? Despite your lack of sleep, did you function on an adrenaline overload?
Did your body enjoy it? What exactly did it contribute to the object of your excitement? Did it expand you and your project with ease and elegance, joy and reward? Was it the invitation to others you expected? And did it help you get anything done? Or did your excitement distract you, keep you frozen in hopes and dreams? Did you find people did not seem to catch the fire of your excitement the way you expected? If excitement has not worked the way you thought it would, ask "What contribution is this excitement?" If you notice it's not what you thought it was, ask "Who does this belong to?" and "What else is possible?" What if simply being you were the greatest contribution, beyond anything you can imagine? How honest are you with you? A lot, a little, or not at all? Don't know? Think about your life right now. The people, things, activities, pleasures, excitements, adventures, its peace and ease.
Is it more than you could ever ask for, about right, or not nearly enought? If you could have even more of the good stuff, would you? How often do you settle for OK, good enough, or 'what you deserve'? Think about the word 'deserve' for a moment. Is there really such a thing? Do birds or crocodiles 'deserve' anything? Or do they simply know what they require, and receive everything that nature has to offer? Could 'deserve' simply be a construct that other people use to control you? Are you willing to receive everything that nature has to offer? If you'd like to expand your life in ways you can't imagine, ask "What would I REALLY like to have, that I have not dared ask for, that if I asked it out loud would create it?" Are you willing to acknowledge what you truly desire, then ask for it, and receive it? Don't know, Then take this question for a drive around the block and see what shows up. |
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