How often have you been told that you must meet deadlines at any cost, or finish everything you start otherwise you're a failure? Do you think if only you didn't procrastinate you'd be happier, more successful and make more money?
Just because other people tell you something, does it mean it's true? Only if you agree with them.
So what if procrastinating wan't what you thought it was? What if it was an expression of your awareness that the energy had moved on and something else was required? What if it was an indication of your boredom, prompting you to find something you truly enjoy so you could make a greater contribution? Or maybe it was telling you that you weren't yet fully equipped to do the job that was required?
So next time you find you're beating yourself up over not doing things 'on time' or telling yourself your no good because you didn't meet someone else's expectations, ask "What's right about my go slow?" Notice what comes to mind and ask "What action can I take?"
Has anyone ever been angry with you to try and distract you from seeing what was true, either so you wouldn't see it, or so they didn't have to look at it?
For example, when you question someone because you sense they were lying. Did they get angry or indignant and say things like "I can't believe you are questioning me?!" Did that make you angry?
Do you get angry when people say things about you that aren't true?
One useful thing to know about angry is that it can indicate a lie. So next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself "Is there a lie spoken or unspoken here?" You will know. And if you'd like more clarity, stop and ask the other person "What do you mean by that?" Then listen.
Asking questions in the face of anger will move you from the auto-response of reaction, to the freedom of action, so you can create what you'd really prefer.
Do you like change?
Do you get excited when a new gadget is announced? When your work/life is rearranged? Your holiday plans are suddenly upended? When someone you regard highly does something you didn't expect? When your favourite coffee shop closes?
Or do you become annoyed, worried, frustrated, even angry? Do you try to make someone right or wrong? Do you start thinking something is "wrong with the world" and lament "if only things didn't change?"
What if nothing were wrong?
What if change was needed to create something even greater? So next time you feel uncomfortable about a change, ask "What if change were required?"
Then smile and enjoy what shows up next.
Have you had a bad day...week/month/YEAR? Did you bump into someone's parked car when you were backing down the driveway? Did you get a bill 10 times what you were expecting? Did youfind out the times had changes on an event you'd been promoting, an hour before it was due to start? Did you create a fight when you thought you were being helpful? Did someone tell you how much rubbish you are? did you have ALL of these in one day?
Do you feel like crying? Having a stiff drink? Jumping off a cliff? Something else?
If you'd like something else, ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" Then ask "What would make me giggle right now?"
Remember when you were five, and everything made you giggle? Find ONE thing and pull that energy through you, and keep looking for MORE thinks, until you lighten, smile...and maybe even giggle. Even if it's to giggle at yourself for being Cute, Not Bright.
Are you comfortable with money? Or do you struggle with it and never seem to have enough? Even if you're not living hand-to-mouth, do you have the feeling you don't have as much as you need to do all the things you enjoy?
Or perhaps you've defined the things you enjoy to fit within the limited amount of money you've decided you have available to you?
What is your point of view about money? That it's greedy to have too much? There's not enough to go around? If you have a lot, then someone else will miss out? That you don't deserve it? It won't bring happiness? What else?
Are these points of view true? They are if they are your point of view. Remember, your point of view creates your reality.
So, if you'd like to change your point of view about money and create greater ease with it, ask "What's the value of having no money?"
If you discover there is little value, ask some more questions like "What if everything about money was for the fun of it?" and "If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?"
Do you push yourself hard? Are you the sort of person who says "If I'm going to to this, I'm going to do it well and on time?" And do you keep going even when you're exhausted?
Certainly, you probably feel satisfaction in getting things done. How often do you find yourself a physical, mental, or emotional wreck at the end of, or even during the process?
What if you could achieve an even greater result without the physical, mental, and emotional fatigue?
If you'd like to find out what's possible, next time you notice you've set yourself a MUST DO — for example, exercise X times a week, get a new business up and running, meet a work project deadline — ask "Body, would you like to rest?" Then listen to and honour your body.
What if the space between your DOING, ie your REST, was where your body, brain, and being relaxed to allow your ideas and energy to flow to you in even greater amounts?
Before you call the police on this one, let me ask you: where is your comfort zone? Is it on the stage? Or on the couch?
How many of these are outside your zone: singing loudly, speaking in public, telling your best friend something you know they won't like, doing something you know is morally right but goes against an "authority," saying NO to anyone?
What else? What activity makes your heart pound, your hands go clammy and your head think "ooooooooh noooooo....not that!"? That. Whatever that is, that's outside your comfort zone.
How much does having a comfort zone help you create the life you'd really like? A lot, a little, or not at all? How much time do you spend thinking about the things you won't do, avoiding situations you think you think might lead you out of your safety zone? And how much fun are you missing out on? Whose life are you living? Yours or someone else's?
If you'd like a peak at the possibilities that lie beyond, ask "What if I played outside my comfort zone?" and dip a toe outside it. What's the worse that can happen? People might laugh. And laughing is good, right? So what if you joined in?
What's the best that can happen? Well maybe you just might change the world and start living your own life.
Do you encounter many angry people in your life?
When people do anger, are they ever really interested in hearing your point of view? Or is their main focus getting a reaction out of you? Are they interested in you being free to say and do what you prefer? Or are they looking to control you?
You know the exact moment your buttons are pushed and you become trapped in emotional reaction. Would you like to be free of that auto-response? If so, next time someone does anger at you, be Cute Not Bright. Stop and ask them "OK, what do you mean by that?" and listen.
Keep asking the same question and listen until the anger has gone.
Anger is a distractor people will use against you to see how you'll react, so they can find a way to gain control over you. Acknowledging the other person like this will take you out of reaction, and into action and enable you to create the life you'd really like.
Is your priority in life to help people? What do you like about helping people? Would you like to change the world? Do you know that, with your support, some people could create the change you'd like to see? You're not wrong.
Has it always been easy for you to help people? Or do you find it a struggle, where time, money, and people always seem to thwart your efforts?
Would you like to create the greatest change with the greatest ease? Then start here. Whenever you see possibilities in someone, and feel the desire to help them, first ask "How can I help you?"
Be aware, some people do not desire change, no matter how great your effort. Others may like your help, but not to change, just to fill their need.
This question will enable you to see exactly what people are looking for, so you can help them create the greatest change possible for them at that stage. Continue to ask along the way. You never know, their willingness to receive may change.
Do you have a lot going on? Shopping, cooking, cleaning, kids duties, family duties, work needs, saving the world, and then fall in bed in a heap only to start it all over again in six hours?
How often do you say "I'd love to do that...but I don't have time"?
How many books would you like to read, movies to see, friends to catch up with, hobbies to enjoy, causes to support, projects to start, worlds to save, that you don't do because you "don't have time"?
Have you decided time and space are finite, and you can't change them to suit you?
If you'd like to do more of the things you enjoy in life, rather than having the duties and responsibilities you've decided you have to do to fill up your days, ask "What will it take for me to fold time and space?"
Science questions the bounds of time and space all the time. What if you played with it too?
Today, for the whole day, listen to everything that comes out of your mouth. Or even just for ten minutes.
How much of what you say is a veiled, or even outright complaint about someone or something? Do you ever hear your voice taking on a repetitive whinging, defensive, or hostile tone?
Words have their own energy to create, or to destroy. If your words are dominated by criticism or emotion, then that is what you will create more of.
There is nothing wrong with being aware that something is not working, and that you'd like to make it better. The difference is simply the energy behind your words.
So if you'd like to change your pattern of defaulting to destructive criticism or emotion, ask "How are these words contributing to the life I'd like to create?" If you notice they're not, simply ask "How does it get any better than this?"
Right now, get the energy of your life as it is today. What does it smell like, taste like, feel like? What sounds do you hear, what sights do you see, how much do you smile, laugh, and do the things you really love?
Got it? Remember it. Put it in your pocket.
Now ask yourself "If time, money and everyone else's points of view were not real, what would I like the energy of my life to be like?" What would it smell like, taste like, feel like? What sounds would you hear, what sights would you see, how much would you be smiling, laughing, and doing the things you really love? Who would you be in it, where would you be, and what would you be doing?
Got it? Now check the energy of this life, the life you'd like. Is it the same, or different to the energy of the life you have now? If it's different, remember it. Hold it in your hands. Whenever you consider adding something or someone to your life, check its energy, by asking "Is this the energy of the life I'd really like?"
What's your story? You know, the one you tell every time you meet someone new. The one you replay in your head like an old film? How does it go for you? Is it a roll call of well-known schools, colleges, companies, achievements and who you know? Is a tale of woe, misery, and hardship? Are you the victor? Are you the victim? Do you laugh? Do you cry?
Is it real? You point of view creates your reality. So if your point of view is that your story is your life, then it is real.
You are welcome to keep your story if it is working for you. Be aware that if you would like to create change in your life, re-runs of your story will serve only to re-create that life, over and over.
If you'd like to create a different life, you must be willing to give up all your old stories. If so, ask "What if I changed the story of my life?" Then make up something outrageously fun and rewarding to tell. Who know how quickly it could become real?
How's your body? Light and lively? Molecularly intertwined with the sofa? Or somewhere in between?
You have a body, right? Have you ever considered what you created it for? Did you create it simply to carry your all-important brain around? Or perhaps it was just to procreate and give brith to more brains with transport?
What if you created a body so you could enjoy the smells, tastes, textures, sights, sounds, movements, and all the other orgasmic physical sensations of life?
How much of that physical joy do you experience now? A lot, or not much at all?
If you sense you're no longer experiencing the full range that your body is capable of — and is probably champing at the bit for — as "Body, would you like to wiggle?" Then jiggle it a bit and see what it tells you. It might just take the lead and waltz you around the floor.
How seriously do you take your work, business, career, life in general? Do you spend long, worried house thinking about your future? Does life in general feel heavy? Do you sleep well?
Would you prefer to create your life with greater ease, joy and success in general? Then consider play.
Think of kids. Are they insatiably curious, boisterously energetic, manipulators extraordinaire, unwilling to take 'no' for an answer, and always see the reasons why you should do something (rather than why you shouldn't)?
Kids can have nothing but a stick and a puddle of mud, and yet create an entire universe. And when that creation is complete, do they smash it to smithereens, giggle and create another one? They smile, laugh and love every moment of life. This is the energy of play.
If you'd like more of this energy, ask "What if I created my life with play?" Including with these questions. Rather than taking them seriously, what if you played with them?
Do you know people who always try to make you wrong? Who put you down for not being clever enough, fast enough, hard working enough, or just make fun of you to get a laugh?
How do you react? Do you take it on, believe it's true and start to think you are wrong, and feel guilty for not being good enough?
Would you like to stop that now, please?
If so, next time someone tries to make you wrong for something, smile at them, and remind yourself whatever they're saying, or doing has nothing to do with you. Ask silently "Does making other people wrong make you right?"
No. Some people are just mean because it's fun for them.
What if you could see their mean brilliance, without being the effect of it? Would that make your life easier?
Imagine the best thing that could possibly happen to you right now. A better paid job? Any job? More fun people to hang out with? Simply being allowed to visit friends and family? A new car? $2000 suddenly appearing in your bank account? Your loans paid off? A great apartment in a fabulous part of town? A shack at the beach? Ten new clients? Retirement? Finding out you're pregnant? Finding out you're not pregnant? Going on a trip? World peace? An end to poverty and hunger? What else?
Do you dream, hope and fantasise about it? Perhaps you've had a taste and are waiting for the flood gates to open? Or you're wondering why it's taking so long, and that maybe you're not asking enough, or the right questions?
When did you decide that achieving this particular thing was as good as it gets? What if there were something even better that you can't see on your left, simply because you keep looking to your right?
If you'd like to see the sphere of possibilities around you, in all dimensions, ask "What is possible that I can't imagine?"
What makes you angry? Injustice? War? Poverty? Evil? Your partner coming home late from work every night? Your boss or co-workers being stupid and lazy? Your family not being willing to see your point of view about how to make the world a better place? What else?
I'm guessing you'd like to change these things for the better, and you become angry out of frustration, because you think you're supposed to be angry, or from the belief that anger will somehow create the changes you'd like?
Will it? Probably not. Two things that anger will create are: stress and toxicity in your body; and resistance and reaction in other people.
Will either of these things help you make the changes you'd like? No. They might even make it harder.
If you'd like to be free from anger's control, to create what you'd really like, ask "What will anger contribute here?" and then "What else is possible to create the changes I'd like to see?"
What if you could see anger for what it is: a distraction?
What does manipulation mean to you? Does it have negative connotations relating to taking an unfair advantage?
Did you know the word manipulate simply means skilful handling of objects and people?
How skilfully do you manipulate your reality now? Do you create the life you'd like? Or do you faithfully follow every decision and judgement handed down by other people, interpreting it as strictly as possible, and usually to your disadvantage?
If you'd like to handle your reality more skilfully, to create the life you'd really like, ask "What if manipulation was about creating more possibilities?"
What if you could see the possibilities between someone else's decisions (even laws) and manipulate — skilfully handle — reality to create the changes you desire, even legally?
Think of one thing you'd like to change in your life right now. For example: you don't enjoy where you're living; you'd rather be free to travel wherever you like; you'd rather not be forced to do something you don't want; you're not getting enough loving; you'd like to see your friends and family but can't; you're hooked on something and helpless, What else?
Whatever that is for you, have you asked yourself, or someone else a question about it?
And even if you have, did you ask the question you really wanted to ask? Or did you ask a watered down version of it, based on what you had already decided would be ok to ask?
Perhaps you've decided that your issue is something about which you can't ask, or even if you did ask, it would make no difference?
If you aren't seeing the changes you'd like, or you're feeling stuck and would like change, ask "What have I decided I can't ask?" Would you be willing to ask about your real desire now, and stop being your greatest limitation?
Indeed. This has far too many exclamation marks to be a question. So let's call it a demand.
And let's talk about fun. How much do you have? What about the people you hang out with? Work? Family life? Is it all fun, or at least have fun bits to it? Whatever the case, would you like to increase your life's fun factor?
I'm assuming you said yes. So start by asking
"What fun can I add to my life?"
"How much fun can I have today?" and
"What will it take for more fun people to come and play?"
Then make the demand "Fun! Fun! Bring it on!"
What makes you laugh? Doing something silly like skipping around your desk or wiggling your bottom? Being told a lame joke? Jamming on the ukulele and singing loudly? Baking a cake? Getting a massage? Buying shoes? Playing golf? Lifting heavy weights? Talking to your cat?
Whatever that is for you, are you willing to demand more? Go on. I dare you.
Are you busy? Rushed off your feet? Do you feel you never get enough done? Is your TO DO list growing out of control? Does everything you do seem to take a long time and be unnecessarily complicated? Do you sigh a lot?
Would you prefer to live each day elegantly, creating your life exactly the way you wanted, with ease and a smile?
What if you have misidentified your desire for speed, movement, joy and life as "busy-ness"? Does the stress in your life stem from you thinking you have to slow down to fit in with the slugs around you? And slow is boring, so you create complexity to entertain yourself?
Would you be willing instead to function as the magic, elegant, perpetual motion machines you really are?
If so, as "What if I were the speed of space?" Space is a boundless, infinite expanse and fast beyond our comprehension. With access to boundless, infinite, instant creation, what will you choose to create? A "busy-ness" life? Or something else?
Think of something you'd like to change. A relationship, a job, money, body, life situation, society, government? Got it?
How willing are you to do whatever it takes to create that change? A lot? A little?
For example, would you like a constantly fresh relationship with your partner or work, rather than the daily maintenance you currently have? Or a society and government that seems filled with hate, fear and corruption?
If so, every morning wake up and consciously destroy and uncreate the think you'd like to change.
In other words, are you willing to do whatever it takes, including getting divorced, quitting your job, protesting and being fined or arrested?
You may or may not need to follow through. It's the energy or willingness that will clean your slate so you can start the day afresh.
So if you're not seeing the changes you'd like, ask "Am I willing to destroy and uncreate it all?"
How much do you trust yourself? A lot, a little, or not at all?
Do you allow yourself to create your life as you follow its energy? Or do you think you have to have it all mapped out, approved, signed, sealed and delivered before you can take the next step? You've got to have a business plan, approved by the bank and authorities. Directions and principles ratified by your boss, parents, insignificant other, or even your children?
After all this, how light do you feel about creating your life?
If you feel like you're trapped in concrete shoes and can't move until you're clear about your next step, ask "What if I trusted myself more?"
Who knows most about you and your life? Everyone else? Or YOU. What if your hesitation or confusion about what to do next was simply missing information? And what if you already had that information, but just hadn't found it yet? Are you ready to ask yourself for it now?
Do you have a target? Great! It's always good to have something to aim at and shoot over. Aim for the moon so you can hit the stars, as they say.
What about goals? Got any of these: when I make a million dollars I'll be set; when I meet The One I'll be happy; when I'm promoted my parents will see me; what else?
Do you ever seem to achieve your goal? Or do you often find you get within reach, but never quite there? Do you ask questions like "What will it take for me to achieve X?" and then it doesn't happen?
Are you asking real questions, or have you decided what you want, and then stick a question mark at the end?
If you find yourself almost creating what you think you'd like, ask "What have I made significant?" and let it go. Whatever that is — a person, a dollar sign, a job, an event — remove that specific and ask another question.
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